Blue

Whoever said Orks could never be adorable never counted on Orks by proxy.

The Story of Blue on /tg/

Dat grotz got hipz!

A very shitty thread was posted on /tg/, about a cultural exchange with the Tau where they send a Tau Girl over in exchange for- Oh fuck it, who cares, it was a terrible opening. Cue a lot of generic fetish comments, and that sort of thing.

One poster wondered what would happen if the Orks were the ones to be a part of this exchange, and things spiralled out from there. People posted little stories of how they thought it might go, and a name was coined - Blue. The idea gained traction as the thread went on, and eventually ended up with a vaguely fleshed out character, one with drawings as well.

The story of Blue in the universe

During the war of the dakka the tau were falling back and at one point abandoning a small colony on a satellite world. Orks of the Scraplootas clan were raiding the colony of Earth Caste members, looking for loot and taking advantage of a chance to show off their Titan, Boris.

Her parents lost in the confusion of the evacuation, a young Tau girl was left alone in her habitation block. The Orks ignored her, looking for a proper fight, but some Snotlings and Gretchin eager to prove that they were big and tough orks decided to gang up on her.

She then proceeded to pick up a tau spanner and kick, punch and wallop her way into a corner, fighting off all the Snotlings and Gretchin in her way. Just at the right time, Big Mek Tinka Zizzbitz came to kick all the Snotlings upside the head, indirectly saving the young tau girl. Mistaking her for a blue Grot, and noticing she already had a wrench, he picked her up and told her to get back to work.

Thanks to her earth caste upbringing she had a rudimentary knowledge of machines and mechanics, and her ability to help the Mekboys inventions work made her a utility to the Orks (although really Zizzbitz just thought that she was a lucky charm due to her blueness).

Now the Ork Big Mek keeps her close and acts to protect her (at least telling other Orks to shove off), while she herself has an added ability to kick some of the smaller Orks/Grots upside the head if they do cause her trouble.

Her ability to add dakka is also a boon to the orks and "Da Blue Grot" has become somewhat of an endearing name for her.

She has a pet of sorts, a squig who flies around in a small drone. Showing off her very Orky imagination, she named him "Mr Squig". He buzzes around her, bumping into things often and being a general nuisance.

Also of note is the Tau spanner she has kept since she was picked up by the Orks. It is not a sentimental memento regarding the Tau as much as it is a personal lucky charm, which she believes is more effective than any others she has used. Regardless of whether it is or isn't, it holds value to her. She is seldom seen without it.

She builds better than grots, she's smarter than grots and she's blue so she's lucky, they'd have no reason to krump her if she's like a Mek's best spanner.

/tg/ writes a few scenarios

The one that started it all off:

>'Ere boyz, wut's dis squishy blue fing?

>I dunno boss, them aliens gave it t' us. Want me to krump it good?

>No, y' stoopid git, I'm boss and I say what we're krumpin. And we ain't krumpin this thing. Give it to da mekboyz, dey need the help.

>If you say so boss.

---

>Oi! Wut's all dis now?

>Huh? Oh, uh, b-boss! Well, this, uh, what was he called again?

>E's a Nob, Blue. And e's lyin on da floor.

>Right, about that. He, uh, well he tried to tell me what to do, so I...

>You wut?

>I... I krumped him good!

>Dat's me gal!

---

>Oi Blue, wot ya doin' wif dat shooty suit?

>Oh, I found some guns on the ones that weren't wrecked, so I figured I'd slap them all on one suit and see how it works.

>Huh? Why you doin' that?

>...What do you mean, why? It needed more dakka....

>Hey, boss, are you crying?

>Dey grow up so fast on ya....

---

>Wut's dis here, Blue?

>I thought I'd help put together a truck!

>But dis has chainswords on da front, da sides, and da back

>Well, I thought that instead of just being shooty, it could be choppy as well!

>Blue, keep dis up and y'll be more've an ork dan any of da gitz here

---

>Look, Mr Gretchen, all I need is for you to do this simple task for me

>I ain't listening to you, you ain't no ork and I only take orders from orks

>I'm trying to be nice, please just listen to what I'm saying

>No, y' ain't an Ork, so I ain't listenin to anyfing you 'ave to say

>But-

>I said no, ok?

>Well, you won't help me and I won't help you

>*Thump*

>'Ere Blue, wuts wit all dese ded Grotz on da floor?

>That's what happens to anyone who says I'm not Orky, Boss

>Oh Blue

---

>Wut y' workin on Blue?

>Well, I thought that most of your shooters were a bit too simple, so I decided I'd make them a bit more interesting

>It looks like a normal shoota t' me

>Ah, but see here, when it fires, it actually fires spinning blades! It's choppy as well as shooty!

>Wow Blue. Is der anyfing you CAN'T do?

---

>Now, dis one is Gork, and dis one is Mork.

>But sir, what's the difference between them?

>Who's the teecher 'ere? Shurrup. Da diff'rence is dat Gork is brutally cunning, but Mork is cunningly brutal. Get it now?

>I'm... Not sure I do...

>Gork krumps ya when yer' not lookin', and Mork krumps ya so y' can't look at anyfin any more. Alright?

>Yes sir!

>No ya git. Mork krumps ya when yer' not lookin', and Gork krumps ya so y' can't look at anyfin any more.

>You ain't no teecher. I's got a whiteboard 'n everfing, so whatever da zog I say is da truth. N' I say Gork krumps when y' ain't lookin, 'n' Gork Krumps ya so y' can't look any more. I gots kwal-if-ick-ay-shuns.

>So, what does Mork do, then, Professork?

>'E, er... 'E krumps, er... Shurrup or I'm gunna give YOU da krumpin. You erd wot I sed and dat's wot da troof is. Whatever it were dat I sed. See Blue, dese Orkz is all stoopid. Dey need a good teecher like me or dey's never gunna lern nuffin.

---

>Mr Boss, sir?

>Waddya want, Blue?

>Well, I saw that you were discussing tactics for your next offensive, and that you were planning on just rushing into the enemy's stronghold, where it is best defended.

>So?

>It was just that, as I see it, that's not a very good plan.

>Wut's wrong wid it?

>It'd be suicide! Now, if you sent a small strike force in here, and attacke-

>Blue.

>Hold on sir, I just think going round a back-

>BLUE.

>It's just that I think the attack you're planning at the moment is, well, sui-

>RIGHT. I've 'ad quite enuff of dat. Now you look 'ere Blue, we's been fru this loads o' times, but now we's goin' t' go fru it again. Wot is da Orky way?

>Well, it's to go in shooting and chopping everything in sight.

>And wot is NOT da Orky way?

>*Sigh* Being sneaky and trying to outsmart the enemy.

>EXACTLY. And don't you ferget it, or we's be havin' dis talk again. Now go and 'elp da mekboys or summat.

>So, boss, what we gunna do bout this attack on da humies?

>Well, boyz, I wus thinking. 'Ow about we send a few boyz down this way and try catch em off guard.

>Brilliant boss, how'd you fink of dat?

>Never mind 'ow. Now bugger off, all of ya gits.

---

>So boss?

>Hmm?

>Alright, let's just say that there's this nice mekboy who's been helping me out lately.

>Roight...

>And, well, let's say he asked me to help him with some dakka...

>Wait, wot?

The boss gets out of his chair, thinks for a moment, and heads for the door.

>Boss? Where're you going?

The ork boss slams the door on his way out. A gretchyn comes up to him as he rubs his temples.

>Oi boss, wut's da matter?

>Gork krump me... she's got a boyfriend.

>Isn't that a good thing, boss?

The ork boss then steps on the Gretchyn, and walks off mumbling.

>We iz NOT havin' this discussion.

---

>Wot da zog are yous playin at, blue? Wot da zog 'ave you dun ta my trukk? Woss all dis gubbins here?

>I replicated the Earth Caste Tetra's as best I could, I even polished the barrels and even managed to piece together some anti-gravity jets.

>But oi told yoo to make it fastah!

>B-but it has everything a Tetra does and those far outclock any wheeled device and I worked really hard a-and I thought you'd like it a-and..

The warboss stoops down and embraces the snivvelling Tau with his remaining biological arm while unhooking something from the wall with the mechanical one. A gargantuan green paw rests on her tiny shoulder and roughly dries off a tear with the flick of a calloused digit.

>Oh blue, ya daft git. Da trukk's dead orky but..

the Warboss says smiling, holding up a can of paint and a brush.

>Da RED wuns is da fastest.

---

Oi blue wut you doin'?

>Well um...boss, I was looking at your "Rokkit Launchas" and-

And roight proppa dey is

>Yes....'proppa'. I was trying to modify some Fire Caste Cluster Missiles to-

Oi wut you on about?

>*sigh* The Missiles shoot missiles boss

So youze sayin' da dakka shoots dakka?

>*sigh* Yes boss

Dats so zoggin beautiful

---

>Mr Boss, I see you've got that power claw there, and I had a little idea.

>Yeah? Wotizzit?

>I thought that perhaps you could, instead of only having one close range weapon and one long range weapon, you could put a shooter on TOP of the power claw, letting you have double the firepower! I asked the Mekboys, and they said it would work.

>Dat's. Dat's a good idea. Real good idea. But I can't do dat.

>Oh, you can, I made plans for it and everything!

>No. I can't.

>But-

>No, Blue.

>Why though?

>Because if I did dat dere'd never be any humies left fer choppin!

---

>Oi, Blue. Wot cha mukkin about wif?

>Oh, I found this wrecked Earth Caste Builder and I thought I'd supe it up, and make it Orkier!

>How's ya gunna make dat thing Orky?!

>Well...I thought I'd add..um...teeth to it...and some bigger guns? It can also help me build!

>So...it'z like a flyin' gretchin?

>Yeah, but with the firing power of a Nob!

>Zog me...keep up da good work, Blue!

---

>"Oi, Blue! Today ah'm gunna show ya' how to krump loike a real Ork!"

>"B-but...I thought I'd just be building..."

>"Wot do ya' think'll 'appen if some humiez or sumfing come and attack camp?! 'Ow are ya' gunna defend yurself?!"

>"Well...I've been planning to set up Fire Caste gun drones around camp...so the "humiez" won't be able to get to me."

>"Well...you can do dat, but I'z still gunna teach ya' how to krump proppaly!"

>"Alright, I guess..."

>The Nob then proceeds to demonstrate the several methods of "Krumpin'" to Blue by beating a group of Gretchin to a pulp.

>"Ya git it now?!"

>"Y-yes sir..."

>"Good, now ya' ready!"

>"T-thanks sir..."

>The Nob leaves and Blue goes back to fixing up the drones, mortified of what she just witnessed.

---

>Boss, boss!

>What ya get

>Dah new gurl

>What about 'er ya git?

>She's put mo dakka on ah wartrukz!

>Wat?! 'Ow?! et me see dat. Blue, wat ya doin' wif dat wartruk?

>Just making ah ahem I mean I'z maykin eet lost mo' shooty for dah boyz!

>Wat? Ya jus' put a big ting on it dat'z not how ya do it!

>But it's a railgun boss!

>You's put a railgun on it? Dat's a real bad idea.

>Why, boss?

>Well nows it can only go on da train tracks, when it could turn before.

>Oh Boss

---

>Wot are youz playin at, blue? Wot da zog 'ave you dun ta my trukk? Woss all dis gubbins here?

>I replicated the Earth Caste Tetra's as best I could, I even polished the barrels and even managed to piece together some anti-gravity jets.

>But oi told yoo to make it fastah!

>B-but it has everything a Tetra does and those far outclock any wheeled vehicle we have and I worked really hard a-and I thought you'd like it a-and...

The warboss stoops down and embraces the snivvelling Tau with his remaining biological arm while unhooking something from the wall with the mechanical one. A gargantuan green paw rests on her tiny shoulder and roughly dries off a tear with the flick of a calloused digit.

>Oh blue, ya daft git. Da trukk's dead orky but...

the Warboss says smiling, holding up a can of paint and a brush.

>Da RED wuns is da fastest.

---

>By the way Boss, I thought I'd let you know that I caught Gretchin trying to make off with my spanner

>Where iz da little grot! I'll kill 'im!

>Oh, don't worry about it boss, it's not a problem

>You ain't goin' soft on me, are ye' Blue?

>Maybe you should ask the Gretchin that, boss. *Holds up a chopped off head*

>Dat's ma li'l Blue!

---

> Oi, wot's ya doin' wif dat red paint?

> A little experiment to try enhance this gun I constructed.

> But dat paint is fo' da trucks, ta make 'em go fasta.

> Exactly. And that is why I will try and coat the firing mechanism in red. To enhance the rate of fire.

> Wut?

> Make da shoota go fasta, fo' mo' dakka.

> Oi dun fink 'dis will work.

> Why wouldn't it?

> Yo' can't see da red in dere.

---

>Zog it, I'm da luckiest grot dat ever lived! Once I bring a whole herd o me back ta camp, dere's no way the boss's WAAAGH can fail

>Now listen here, child

>Th'name's T'ork ya lanky, wrinkly grot!

>No one calls the Ethereal a grot y-you little...

>Let it go, Shas'O, now listen here, "T'ork", you've been brainwashed by sick sick creatures, but our reeducation camps will help. They'll show you the Greater Good

>Waaagh!

>There's no getting through to this one, I'm afraid...

>Wait, is that an echo or...oh no! Orks!

>WAAAAAAGH!

>Dere ya are, Blue.

>Mek!

>An' here I thought I wuz gonna be needin a new lucky charm.

---

Gallery

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  Blue's drone/pet, Mr Squig. Hated by pretty much everyone apart from Blue, but is speedy enough to have avoided getting squished (thus far).

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