Cat

Do not be fooled by its appearance. This cat will wreck your shit.

This cat will mongle your cock.

Cats are also known to caus- SQUAD BROKEN!!

A cat is a small, indestructible, furry automaton created by God to give you love and companionship when things fuck up your shit of a life. Nah, just kidding, nobody would love you, especially creatures who have at least some amount of self-dignity. Contrary to popular belief, cats secretly conspire every possible moment on how to murder their owners and escape to the wilderness. Cats have the ability to break spacetime by at times expanding to fill all available space. (see Catsplosion)

Cats are accurately depicted in Dwarf Fortress.

Dungeons and Dragons

An amusing consequence of the 3rd edition D&D system is that a domestic housecat is capable of demolishing first level commoners in combat, doing a point of lethal damage with a single bite or claw attack and being able to make two claw attacks and one bite attack in a single round. First level human commoners generally have between 1 and 5 hit points. Further more, they are harder to hit on account of their tiny size and higher dex (which together give them an AC of 14). The size bonus also boosts there attack, and because they have weapon finesses, their dex does too (which together give them +4 to hit). However, longtime cat owners could testify that this is arguably realistic. For example, my ungrateful cat just scarred my hand, nyoro~n.

Cats in Warhammer Fantasy

Like in old folklore stories, Queen Neferata, the first Vampire and head of the Lahmian Bloodline, likes to turn her underlings (usually female) into cats to sneak into the homes of men (or women) of high standing. The shapeshifting ends, and the Vampire seduces their target leading to them either being their mysterious mistress (in all applicationsof the word) or their mysterious relative/spouse nobody had heard of. Either way, Neferata gains another pawn in her plan for world domination. In old Lahmian models cats often appeared alongside the Vampire.

Cats in warhammer 40k

It was confirmed in one of the Ciaphas Cain books that humans still keep cats as pets. And when you consider how many rats and shit must be in those hive cities, it's not exactly surprising. They would be quite at home on a ship of the Imperial Navy, but sadly, many might also just be food for hive world inhabitants and feral worlds, anywhere where food is hard to find (much of the Imperium).

It's also fun to imagine what might happen if the AdMech were to find an old server bank containing all of humanity's old LOLcat photos... ah, wouldn't cybercats in red robes be awesome?

A cat found by an Ork, though, if not eaten by the Ork himself, would be quickly gobbled by Squigs.

The ruinous powers most definitely have cats with them; cats of Khorne would be angry psychopathic bags of claws that eat weak cultists for dinner (see Dex-Starr). Slaaneshi cats.... you know what's going to happen, I don't even need to explain this. Cats of Nurgle would be flea-ridden mangy mongrel kittens, rubbing up to Loyalists and infecting them with Nurgle's love. Finally, felines would likely fit in with Tzeentch's followers, what with the Bond villain vibe of the Change-lord himself.

See also

• Catfolk

Gallery

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