Cat

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Do not be fooled by its appearance. This cat will wreck your shit.

This cat will mongle your cock.

Cats are also known to caus- SQUAD BROKEN!!

A cat is a small, indestructible, furry automaton created by God to give you love and companionship when things fuck up your shit of a life. Nah, just kidding, nobody would love you, especially creatures who have at least some amount of self-dignity. Contrary to popular belief, cats secretly conspire every possible moment on how to murder their owners and escape to the wilderness. Cats have the ability to break spacetime by at times expanding to fill all available space. (see Catsplosion)

Cats are accurately depicted in Dwarf Fortress.

Dungeons and Dragons

In 3rd Edition Dungeons and Dragons, house cats have stats that make them incredibly deadly combatants for their apparent harmlessness and low Challenge Rating. Thanks to a tiny size and high dexterity, a cat has an armor class that makes it as hard to hit as a man in a chain shirt. The cat is actually harder to hit since that AC is all touch AC, so splash weapons and energy rays will not save you. They are also very stealthy and win initiative, so they can ambush easily.

A cat has three natural attacks, all doing 1 damage each; statistically, a cat will virtually always kill a level one Commoner one on one, and possibly even a level one Wizard if there's no familiar helping them fight back. Even if he can get casting off (which is already a resource expenditure far in excess of its supposed CR), few first level Wizard spells aren't that likely to work on the monster thanks to low damage that is likely halved (and if it's a familiar attacking you, outright avoided) by the cat's high reflex save. More meaty classes fare better, but still need disproportionate effort to kill it.

Pathfinder nerfs them slightly, but only through a minor, easily overlooked system wide change: Damage reduced to less than one by damage penalties does one non-lethal damage (in 3E this was still lethal damage). This means a victim has a chance of being rescued after being KOed, but before the cat finishes them off. This does raise the question of how cats can actually kill rats without first KOing them.

Cats in Magic the Gathering =

Cat is one of the oldest creature types in the game. It first debuted in Alpha, thought the first one to be printed with the type on it was in Legends. While most cats are anthropomorphic of some kind, be it Catfolk, Rakshasa or Ajani Goldmane, there's plenty of actual predators represented. "Normal" cats tend to be green, since it is (naturally) the color of wild beasts. Some cats are white, since they're a symbol of many white values like the group and knightly virtue. Oketra of Amonkhet is a pesudo-Eygptian deity that considers cats sacred. Cat tribal is quite rare.

Whitemane Lion is a notable cat card that has been printed several times. It has an effect that requires you to return a creature to your hand when you summon it. This effect seems like a drawback, but is actually key to powered many decks that abuse it to repeatedly trigger enter the battlefield effects. One of these combos is with, fittingly enough, Oketra's Monument. These two allow you to spawn as many 1/1 tokens as you have white mana for.

Not to be outdone by the other Wizards of the Coast game, Magic also contains a lethal house cat. Sanctuary Cat debuted in Innistrad. It normally wouldn't be a notable card; it's a 1/2 white one drop and a functional reprint of one of the oldest cards in the game with a generally worse type, and a few strictly better cards have been printed. This card became notable because the art depicts what seems to be a normal cat. Since 1/1 has always been the normal power and toughness for one mana creatures, this cat can kill a surprising number of things and live. Most of these creatures were still trained and armed/armored soldiers.

Cats in Warhammer Fantasy

Like in old folklore stories, Queen Neferata, the first Vampire and head of the Lahmian Bloodline, likes to turn her underlings (usually female) into cats to sneak into the homes of men (or women) of high standing. The shapeshifting ends, and the Vampire seduces their target leading to them either being their mysterious mistress (in all applications of the word) or their mysterious relative/spouse nobody had heard of. Either way, Neferata gains another pawn in her plan for world domination. In old Lahmian models cats often appeared alongside the Vampire.

Cats in warhammer 40k

It was confirmed in one of the Ciaphas Cain books that humans still keep cats as pets. And when you consider how many rats and shit must be in those hive cities, it's not exactly surprising. They would be quite at home on a ship of the Imperial Navy, but sadly, many might also just be food for hive world inhabitants and feral worlds, anywhere where food is hard to find (much of the Imperium).

It's also fun to imagine what might happen if the AdMech were to find an old server bank containing all of humanity's old LOLcat photos... ah, wouldn't cybercats in red robes be awesome?

A cat found by an Ork, though, if not eaten by the Ork himself, would be quickly gobbled by Squigs. though if the cat possible had a underbite like some Persians and exotic short hairs it could be possible that the orks would be dumb enough to think of them as a fellow orks and recruit them too the waaaagh and with the orks brain power I think so therefor it must be true the cat would officially be a small furry ork, though by that logic the cat Ork would start producing cat spores and thus the Ork cats would be born. MEOOOOOWWWAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH, We Da Kat Bois wez gonna make ya Coucha Go strate Down Mud, Mor Fluffa, . Pun's aside, cat's have evolved to be in the middle of the food chain, it's why there so skitish they had to watch out for things eating them even as they looked for stuff to eat. It's possible to imagine that felines could survive among an ork ecosystem city preying on the dumber weaker squigs or snotlings, while in turn being eaten by the bigger kinds of squig.

The ruinous powers most definitely have cats with them; cats of Khorne would be angry psychopathic bags of claws that eat weak cultists for dinner (see Dex-Starr). eventually ascending to demon hood as to continue their crusade against bigger prey I mean who wouldn't want to see a space marine fight a demon cat prince. "Death to the false empurrer! fluff for the fluff god, mice for the mice throne!" also would probably murder the shit out of chakats for being a bunch of psychic Mary sues. ahhh doesn't the thought seeing chakats having their skin peeled off by the furry rage of khorne seem so soothing, the demonic house cats adorned with brass armor that blocks out the chakats cries for help, the pain induced spasms that are now visible, the thought of this chakat's skull being made into the second skull throne aka the skull toilet reserved only for chakats and all their subspecies.

Slaaneshi cats... you know what's going to happen, I don't even need to explain this. Cats of Nurgle would be flea-ridden mangy mongrel kittens, rubbing up to Loyalists and infecting them with Nurgle's love. possible they're cats that got infected with some kind of warp originating illness but papa Nurgle picked them up and took them to his garden to adopt them and so became his furriest demons yet as the go around the under-hives infecting mice as to make sure Nurgle's love is in every corner of the galaxy arriving at the garden to make sure new plaguebearers come to term with what they have become.

And finally, felines would likely fit in with Tzeentch's followers, what with the Bond villain vibe of the Change-lord himself. also the cats randomness would meld into tzeentch's randomness making them into greater daemon of fluffy insanity that tears up a solar governor's furniture while no one is looking and turning the man into a paranoid freak who thinks that there's a monster destroying his most prized possessions up until the cat literally starts scratching at the insides of the man's head making lose his sanity with every new scratch and every new nail piercing his sanity, soon all he hears is scratching and meowing as he's unable to sleep and drifts away and begins to hallucinate and begs to something anything for the scratching to go away and in this moment tzeentch appears in the man's lucid nightmares and says that all his possessions will be put back together and that scratching will stop but only if he vows loyalty to him and him alone, and in sheer desperation says yes and proceeds to fall to sleep on the floor and when he awakes all his furniture and lively possessions are rebuilt but at the cost of his eternal allegiance to tzeentch his fate and the fate of his worlds are now under the control of a mad god. and for his service the warp kitty gets a big ol' fish and told she or he's a good kitty and then the cat runs off fish in hand to do his lords bidding.

Other /tg/ relevance

The main point of Real Life overlap between cats and /tg/ (besides the panoply of cat-themed board games) is that a Real Life cat will knock over all the fiddly bits of your game if you let them. Preventing this is difficult, particularly if the pieces are of the right size to make a cat think "hey, this looks like it might be edible". While cats are usually smart enough to not eat inanimate objects (unlike dogs), a cat will attack unusual small objects like game pieces in order to make sure it's not just a small animal that's playing dead.

See also

• Catfolk