Commissar Yarrick: Difference between revisions
1d4chan>Sonicology m (cleaning up previous trolling) |
|||
| Line 11: | Line 11: | ||
Yarrick got his laser eye when he heard that the Orks thought he had the gaze of death, and could kill an ork with a look. Yarrick decided that if the orks thought he could kill with a look, then he was damn well going to be able to. Once again, what Orks believe, becomes true. | Yarrick got his laser eye when he heard that the Orks thought he had the gaze of death, and could kill an ork with a look. Yarrick decided that if the orks thought he could kill with a look, then he was damn well going to be able to. Once again, what Orks believe, becomes true. | ||
He also never | He also never dies, because <strike>of Iron Will</strike> DYING IS FOR [[Roboute Guilliman|PUSSIES]] AND [[Horus|HERETICS]]!!! | ||
He is an absolute monster of a combatant and can easily hand virtually any [[Space Marines|Spehss Mehreen]] his ass on a silver platter in combat (unless they have an invulnerable save....seriously the stats for Yarrick are bullshit). Not even genetic enhancements and power armor are a match for an ECKSBAWKS HUEG power klaw and fucking Superman-style laser vision when paired with the standard issue balls of steel that every person in the Imperial Guard comes with. He makes [[Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt|Gaunt]] and [[Ciaphas Cain|Cain]] look like total pussies of commissars in comparison. | He is an absolute monster of a combatant and can easily hand virtually any [[Space Marines|Spehss Mehreen]] his ass on a silver platter in combat (unless they have an invulnerable save....seriously the stats for Yarrick are bullshit). Not even genetic enhancements and power armor are a match for an ECKSBAWKS HUEG power klaw and fucking Superman-style laser vision when paired with the standard issue balls of steel that every person in the Imperial Guard comes with. He makes [[Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt|Gaunt]] and [[Ciaphas Cain|Cain]] look like total pussies of commissars in comparison. | ||
Revision as of 19:34, 24 June 2013
The Man, The Myth, The Legend
.
Sebastian Yarrick is one of the most badass commissars ever to threaten inspire the Imperial Guard.
He first showed up on Armageddon, coming out of retirement to kick the teeth out of Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka's WAAAAAGH. Ghazghkull thinks he's the bestest humie evar. He also has a laser eye, ala Superman, and an ECKSBAWKS HUEG power klaw. He got his fuckhuge powerclaw from an equally fuckhuge Ork who wanted Yarrick to bend over while something horrible was done to said commissar, but Yarrick proceeded to say "FUCK YOU FILTHY XENOS SCUM!!!" and kicked the ork in the teeth. He also had his arm chopped off in that fight but no one really cares because he stole the Ork's arm with a free fuckhuge power klaw attached.
The man is not only legend among men, but orks as well; should Yarrick manage to finally kill Ghazgkhull, its only a matter of time before Orks start worshiping him, or at least naming him Gork and Mork's favored, and da baddest Warboss ever. Considering he can actually use his powerklaw and Ork arm functionally means they consider him, at the very least, to be quite downright Orky and all. And as we all know, what Orks believe, becomes true. He also speaks Ork. Yeah. It's not that hard. I mean, it's mostly just angry howls with the odd blow to the head for emphasis.
Yarrick got his laser eye when he heard that the Orks thought he had the gaze of death, and could kill an ork with a look. Yarrick decided that if the orks thought he could kill with a look, then he was damn well going to be able to. Once again, what Orks believe, becomes true.
He also never dies, because of Iron Will DYING IS FOR PUSSIES AND HERETICS!!!
He is an absolute monster of a combatant and can easily hand virtually any Spehss Mehreen his ass on a silver platter in combat (unless they have an invulnerable save....seriously the stats for Yarrick are bullshit). Not even genetic enhancements and power armor are a match for an ECKSBAWKS HUEG power klaw and fucking Superman-style laser vision when paired with the standard issue balls of steel that every person in the Imperial Guard comes with. He makes Gaunt and Cain look like total pussies of commissars in comparison.
Yarrick is currently chasing after Ghazghkull along with High Marshall Helbrecht at the head of a Black Templar crusade in the most amazing road trip ever.
