Dawn of War II

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Dawn of War II is the sequel to Dawn of War released on February 19th, 2009. Unlike it's predecessor, it has Tyranids.

It stars Sergeant Avitus, who hates you, Sergeant Tarkus, who is bald, Spike Spiegel (also the Wolverine from Wolverine and the X Men), and a bunch of 'mos. And your Force Commander avatar clearly spends more than the sanctioned amount of time maintaining his hair. Actually, every single fucking space marine officer (with the exception of Tarkus, obviously) in this game does so, resulting in a HAIRESY-ridden gameplay experience. Also features the return of Davian Thule, who tragically lost both his eye and his sexy accent after the fighting on Kronus. Davian Thule can also be called "Davian Cool" in this game.

The game features the Blood Ravens as the only playable campaign faction, and throughout the course of playing they fight Orks, because they’re everywhere, Eldar, who are attempting to slow the Tyranids' progress to their craftworld, and Tyranids. Only three units and your captain may be taken along in any mission, and eventually two sergeants will need to stay home because there are six officers total. There are other drop pods available to carry more men, but it is suspected that Wolverine (or Spike Spiegel) encouraged the rule so that he could remain on board and write bad poetry about the futility of life.

Most of the ridiculous dialogue that started “Metal Boxes” and other memes is now handled typically by Spike Spiegel (who is also Wolverine) and Avitus, who are either very sad or very angry all of the time. At one point, Spike Spiegel spoils victory celebrations by reminding everyone that they’re all going to die some day – he argues the point until everybody agrees and is no longer happy, and then he goes on to say they should save their happiness for when they are dead.

Despite everything written, the dialogue is actually pretty good for a Dawn of War game. Especially when the (relatively, he's around 80) young Assault Sergeant starts reflecting on the melancholy of becoming 'one with the chapter,' you know, if you're into overbearing, melodramatic prattling. Of course, Wolverine (Spike Spiegel) strongly encouraged emotional, cynnical complaining during the monologue. Srsly, Cyrus jumps in to keep the complaints coming in the middle of the monologue.

Also, it was pretty fun to play once through, although repetitive since all the maps are reused two or three times each. There wasn't much point in replaying since you'd have technically already beaten everything twice or more.

The expansion is called Chaos Rising and will be released in March 10 2009. In this game, Relic has realized it's heinous mistake and has decided to include the Chaos Space Marines and the option to turn your Blood Ravens into Chaos Space Marines.

Characters of Note

• Farseer Idranel
• Gabriel Angelos
• Davian Cool, who makes his return to DoW as a dreadnaught this time around, causing him to easily be an ace in the hole for most missions thereafter.
• The Force Commander, who will likely turn to heresy in the expansion (no, not hair-esy, just regular heresy. He's already a hair-etic).
• Avitus, who hates balls-of-steel Guardsmen with a passion due to the Kronus campaign. He was also brutalized by them during childhood, never fully accepting that he probably deserved it. He's also probably going to turn to Chaos and become a Khornate Berzerker, eschewing hundreds of years of heavy weapon experience.
• Spike Spiegal (who is also Wolverine or sometimes even known as Cyrus or Nancy), who will whinge, cry, and generally detest everything and anything that happens as a matter of character and principle. He's trying so hard to be a misunderstood badass. Just so hard, the poor deluded fool - although to his benefit he is hard to understand. It's hard to understand what his fucking problem is, for example.
• Tarkus, who killed a Necron Spyder by shoving a grenade into its head, a clever ploy which led to the loss of his arm (replaced by cybernetics) and half of his face. Apparently he also owns a flame thrower awarded to him by the Salamanders Chapter, resultant of the fact that the Salamanders don't really know what else to give people on any occasion. Unlike Avitus and Cyrus, who could never blend into most known societies today because both struggle desperately to understand more than one human emotion at a time, Tarkus is actually pretty normal for a Space Marine. The guy also has Terminator honors, and if the squads from the first game do turn to Chaos, it's likely he'll be the only one level-headed enough to ask if that's not a stupid decision. "I'll respect your decision, commander, but we should consider that the Chaos Gods basically fuck all their minions in the ass sooner or later, if you'll permit me to speak freely. It's not like we have short life spans and will never regret this, sir."
• There might be a VERY small chance that Eliphas will be in the expansion. No wait, no, he's not gonna be in it. It's Failaddon's Black Legion, not Word Bearers. However, Eliphas' bastard brother may be in it!
• Scott McNeil. DoW II doesn't have him in it, but he used to supply Davian Cool's sexy British accent. Also did Bale's voice and SSSSSSSSSSIIIINDRRRRIIII'S. If Chaos Rising has anything to do with the plot of the original DoW, he'll be back. Or else, Relic.
• Thaddeus, who is supposedly an ex hive gangster. This is almost impossible to believe for a number of reasons. One is that Thaddeus is probably the most hair-etical member of the bunch, especially considering how he manages to make that shit stay despite flying around with a jet pack all day. Two is that he's the one who decides to start whining in the middle of the game about how emotionally jarring it is to become a Space Marine (which Cyrus aggresively approved of). I'm pretty sure gangsters rape you for that nonsense.