Dawn of War II

Dawn of War II is the sequel to Dawn of War and was released on February 19, 2009. Unlike its predecessor, it has Tyranids.

It stars Sergeant Avitus, who hates you, Sergeant Tarkus, who is bald, Spike Spiegel (also known as Wolverine from the X Men), and a bunch of 'mos. And your Force Commander avatar clearly spends more than the sanctioned amount of time maintaining his hair. Actually, every single fucking space marine officer (with the exception of Tarkus, obviously) in this game does so, resulting in a HAIRESY-ridden gameplay experience. Also features the return of Davian Thule, who tragically lost both his eye and his sexy accent after the fighting on Kronus. Davian Thule can also be called "Davian Cool" in this game.

The game features the Blood Ravens as the only playable campaign faction, and throughout the course of playing they fight Orks, because they’re everywhere, Eldar, who are attempting to slow the Tyranids' progress to their craftworld, and Tyranids. In classic Spess Mahrine style, your tiny band is more than sufficient to cunt-punch an entire Tyranid hive fleet back out of the Milky Way (while 'liberating' war gear from as many other Chapters as possible). Such is your reputation that your initial one and a half squads are expected to turn the tide of an Ork invasion. Only three units and your commander may be taken along in any mission, and eventually two sergeants will need to stay home because there are six in total. There are drop pods available to carry more men, but it is suspected that Wolverine (or Spike Spiegel) encouraged the rule so that he could remain on board and write bad poetry about the futility of life. Anyone who doesn't take Cyrus along for every mission is BALD AND FEWLISH.

Most of the ridiculous dialogue that started “METAL BOXES” and other memes is now handled by Spike Spiegel (who is also Wolverine) and Avitus, who are either very sad or very angry (respectively) all of the time. At one point, Spike Spiegel spoils victory celebrations by reminding everyone that they’re all going to die some day – he argues the point until everybody agrees and is no longer happy, and then he goes on to say they should save their happiness for when they are dead. Thanks, you emo. Go join the fucking Raven Guard, they like them some Scouts.

Despite everything written, the dialogue is actually pretty good for a Dawn of War game. Especially when the young (relatively, he's around 80) Assault Sergeant starts reflecting on the melancholy of becoming 'one with the chapter,' you know, if you're into overbearing, melodramatic prattling. Of course, Wolverine (Spike Spiegel) strongly encourages the emotional, cynical complaining during the monologue. Srsly, Cyrus jumps in to keep the complaints coming in the middle of the monologue.

It was pretty fun to play once through, although repetitive since all the maps are reused two or three times each. There wasn't much point in replaying since you've technically already beaten everything twice or more.

Sad Day in the Imperium

Relic was bought out by Sega and still have the license to make 40K. The guys who made Total War are confirmed as making Warhammer Fantasy games. There, all better.

But still, the idea of the spess marheens coming to the aid of the obviously abhuman Sonic and Tails to do battle with the rogue Techpriest Robotnik would be hilarious.

... I just hope Matt Ward doesn't read this, or they'll probably wind up in the next Grey Knights codex.

Chaos Rising

HAIRESY will be maintained regardless of loyalty!

The first expansion is called Chaos Rising and was released on March 11, 2010. In this game, Relic has realized its heinous mistake and has decided to include the Chaos Space Marines and the option to turn your Blood Ravens into Chaos Space Marines.

Featuring a warband of Black Legion Kayoss Spess Mehreens (with the addition of Eliphas, whose soul Abaddon purchased), a bunch of new units (Chaos Dreadnought, awesome Khorne and Nurgle stuff, Genestealers, etc), a corruption meter changed by your actions in game (which determines whether your Spess Mehreens are chaotic or not), some nice ice planet called Aurelia, and a Space Hulk. Apparently, according to the developers, no moar missions will be exactly the same. Also! An exciting new character known as Jonah Orion the Librarian! In a shocking twist, it turns out the mysterious black librarian teammate was not the daemons, amazingly enough ([1] unless you decide to screw canon), despite being the one with a direct connection to the warp.

Retribution

Retribution was released on March 1, 2011 and was said to re-feature base-building to some degree, multi-faction campaigns and the possible coming of the Inquisition to Aurelia. Characters include Kaptain Bluddflagg, an Ork Pirate guy doing what all Orkz do best (choppin', fightin', killin', lootin', and rockin' a crazy west country accent while doin' it, 0:49 in linked video) but sadly isn't Gorgutz. Other confirmed factions include the Eldar (where you play as an Autarch) and 'Nids where you play as a really OP Hive Tyrant with the ability to generate units and regen health when those units die, creating a perpetual motion machine of health regeneration that lets you just troll your way through the whole game. The Swarmlord is nothing but a call-in super unit, to the disappointment of all. Sorry. So if you're looking to get your BLAM! on... well, here's your chance. The story is rather clear cut, an Imperial Exterminatus has been declared on the sub-sector for not getting its shit together; many lols ensue. It also appears Gabriel Angelos is in for a rematch against that spritely little Khorne daemon he accidentally unleashed way back in in the original Dawn of War. The constellation of armies that fight in the sub-sector resembles that from the original DOW as well - the enemy factions are the Eldar of Biel'Tan, the Orks of the Bad Moons Clan and the Chaos Space Marines of the Alpha Legion.

Unfortunately, each 'campaign' is effectively exactly the same. Each mission is identical regardless of faction (except for the buildings; Chaos get warp portals, Loyalists get teleportariums, etc), but the dialogue is unique. Oddly, they all seem to experience the same events - Eliphas is treated to the same Scottish monologue about Dah Behnbleed as Diomedes. He just doesn't react as well.

Oh and before we forget to say it, Everyone's Favorite Red Shirt Army is back! And they brought Presents!

Trailer link

Characters of Dawn of War II

• Farseer Idranel - She's the incredibly racist Eldar Farseer leading the Eldar on Aurelia. She's more racist than most traditional Eldar and because of this, she spawned the mini-meme "Double Mon-keigh" which is kinda equivalent to Double Heresy. She gets killed in Angel Forge after Tarkus bitch-slaps her with his Terminator armor's power fist.

• Gabriel Angelos - DoW's Gabe. From here, his role is more of an advisory and critiquing one since he never appears in-person in a mission (apart from the final mission against the Tyranids). Will probably Returns in Retribution, leading the remnants of the loyalist Blood Ravens against Kyras (though, sadly, he is once again not available to play) Playable only in the tutorial mission for Retribution, but that means fuckall.

• Davian Cool - Makes his return to DoW as a dreadnought this time around, causing him to easily be an ace in the hole for most missions thereafter. In the expansion he can rip apart enemy vehicles and turn them into health and damage upgrades for the rest of your marines (which mysteriously disappear after your current deployment - he was only using duct tape). His Alzheimers seems to have improved somewhat, and he is capable of speaking more than two sentences before forgetting that he left the iron on back at the chapter keep. He is awesome in-game, capable of killing armies by smacking his fist on the ground resulting in tyranid/ork/eldar/kay-oss spess mehreen giblets at a rather ridiculous distance (the radius is twice as long as he is tall at maximum) and also stunning everything that is still alive for just a few seconds shorter than the time it takes for this ability to recharge. He can also sweep his assault cannon and instagib everything in a 90 degree angle in front of him, or he can use the multimelta sweep (best leveled up) and melt entire armies (as long as they are at close range) and erase titanic amounts of a boss's health in one go (because Predator armor is really painted butter), which makes fucking bullshit bosses like Ulkair and Martellus far more manageable. In addition he can charge and gib everything in his path, shatter cover, taunt vehicles and walkers to a one on one duel (if he's venerable and wins, he grants your entire strike force a fuckhueg bonus), lastly he can shut down and regenerate his health really quickly and, if you put enough points into stamina, he can still be controlled in this state (although his speed is reduced to a crawl). He's totally awesome as a Venerable dreadnought because he'll be killing enemies so frequently that you'll pretty much always have an combat bonus up. Once you get him, you'll wonder how you ever lived without him. He is sadly killed in Retribution by Eliphas (maybe), and many shed manly tears upon his death.

• The Force Commander (Aliases include: FCHair Gel and FC Vanilla Ice) - Is declared renegade after Chaos Rising (no, not hair-esy, just regular heresy. He's already a hair-etic). Despite being called, 'the only guido ever to assume the rank of Force Commander', the Force Commander's voice is provided by the same guy who does Gabe's voice in DoWII. This makes his voice in the cinematic make him sound quite old and gruff when compared to Thaddeus. This was likely done because no one would want to play a teeny guido voiced Spess Mehreen. EVER. Is also, paradoxically enough, from the Jersey Shore. Got declared a renegade and left behind the b&hammer he dropped on Ulkair for Diomedes. Calls the 'Hammer of the Nameless', it's a kick in the balls to those who downed Ulkair with Lightning Claws or specced him into a shooty Force commander. His name is Aramus in the novels, though various conflicts between the novels & games canon has many fans insisting Aramus is a totally different guy. They're bitches like that.

• Avitus - Hates balls-of-steel Guardsmen with a passion due to the Kronus campaign. He was also molested brutalized by them during childhood, never fully accepting that he probably deserved it. During the game he expresses anger at everything, including anger at his own chapter for numerous reasons, making statements bordering on treason by the rigid standards of a Space Marine chapter. He's just an angry guy. He frequently asks aliens to show him their fury; or in fuckwit's terms, to get angry at him. He will also very, very frequently say "more corpses" after leaving yet another Xeno/Heretic dead. When he's in terminator armor he has an assault cannon by default, which is awesome, and can also mount a shoulder-mounted cyclone missile launcher to fuck vehicles and infantry over, but his squadmates still have storm bolters; it's not really a problem, since by level 30 their storm bolters will still deal like 1000 damage per shot against freaking tanks. In canon, he was actually the traitor in the Force Commander's squad, and was slain by Tarkus. If When he turns to chaos he turns into a Khornate Terminator Havoc (TT doesn't really have a designation for heavy raged chaos termies), fucking your shit up with assault cannon sweeps and cyclone missile barrages.

• Spike Spiegel (AKA Wolverine or sometimes even Cyrus or Nancy) - Will whine, cry, and generally detest everything and anything that happens as a matter of character and principle. He's trying so hard to be a misunderstood badass. Just so hard, the poor deluded fool - although to his benefit he is hard to understand. It's hard to understand what his fucking problem is, for example. He was probably raped by Tyranids while he was in Deathwatch. Is voiced by the normally hot blooded Steve Blum... What the fuck happened, Steve? If he turns traitor he tries to stage a coup, citing the incompetence of leaders like Indrick Boreale (making it the one emotional outburst the player will actually sympathize with). Along with Tarkus he has the honor of being the most ridiculously unbalanced character in the game. Once you level up his will and strength discipline high enough, he can cloak for virtually the entirety of a mission and shit explosives WHILE cloaked. So yeah, with a bit of microing, he can basically fuck over everything alone when he's equipped with free remote charges and mines, throw in a sniper rifle to get rid of pesky high-value targets and an access to an easy suppression weapon and there's basically nothing short of end-game bosses can stop him. Have fun with that.

Tarkus gets shit done.

• Tarkus - Killed a Necron Tomb Spyder on Kronus by shoving a grenade into its head, a clever ploy which led to the loss of his arm (replaced by cybernetics), his hair, and half of his face. Apparently he also owns a flamer awarded to him by the Salamanders Chapter, since the Salamanders don't really know what else to give people on any occasion. Unlike Avitus and Cyrus, who could never blend into most known societies today because both struggle desperately to understand more than one human emotion at a time, Tarkus is actually pretty normal for a Space Marine. What little angst he does display is usually about the sorry state of the chapter, or his intense hatred of spess elves. If he turns traitor he decides to save the chapter by going on a psychotic killing spree with his new BFF, a possessed bolter. In game Tarkus is stupidly unbalanced. If his will discipline is leveled high enough, he can both spam grenades and can master the fine art of Grenade Fu, which allows him to throw 3 grenades at once, guaranteeing that anything in a tight formation is blow to smithereens. If you max out his stamina he literally cannot die while tactical advance is active, cementing the poor bastard's position as a breathing orbital strike beacon for the rest of the game. His taunts make everyone RAGE.

• The Avatar of Khaine - The avatar of Khaela Mensha Khaine is summoned once in both the vanilla game and Chaos Rising by the Eldar. He was a motherfucker of a boss during the original game due having the highest health of any enemy in the original campaign, insane damage and calling in loads of Fire Prisms, but was somewhat easier in Chaos Rising.

• Scott McNeil - SCOTT MCNEIL! MIGHTY IS HE!!!

• Thaddeus - Supposedly an ex hive ganger. This is almost impossible to believe for a number of reasons. One is that Thaddeus is probably the most hair-etical member of the bunch, especially considering how he manages to make that shit stay despite flying around with a jet pack all day. Two is that he's the one who decides to start whining in the middle of the game about how emotionally jarring it is to become a Space Marine (which Cyrus aggressively approved of). I'm pretty sure gangsters rape you for that nonsense. Though it's difficult to tell due to the lighting in his talking head's box, he has blond hair; and as we all know, all blond men are evil. If he turns traitor he decides he saved everybody in the first game and that he needs to "save" you, by assault jumping on your face until you stop moving.

• Gordian The Apothecary - Aside from Tarkus, the only other character in the game who's dialog does not strictly adhere to only one human emotion. Called out Cyrus on his pessimistic bullshit. Was killed when the Armageddon was shot down.

• Martellus the Techmarine - Some lazy fuckwit on board a strike cruiser who's sole job it is to tell you bad news. Is secretly Spike Spiegel. His Thunderhawk crashed on Typhon shortly before the final battle in the vanilla game and, using only plot-armor, managed to survive for a year alone and crippled against Ork lootas, Tyranid remnants and the newly arrived Chaos Marines. You find him in one of the first Chaos Rising missions, and it's the only mission where you can control him. If he becomes the traitor he expresses some displeasure about the whole being left to die thing, and expresses it by busting out a custom BAWKS that does fucking retarded amounts of damage and takes fucking forever to kill. In an actual plot TWEEST, Martellus is CONFIRMED in Retribution as being a Blood Raven loyalist along with Tarkus, Cyrus and Diomedes. Actually, he's a pretty cool guy, in that he's not as aggressively annoying as Cyrus. Did I mention he has an awesome helm and is double red?

• Governor Vandis - The planetary Governor of Meridian and the most useless character in Dawn of War 2. Instead of helping the player, he just got high in his pleasure palace while two strippers sucked his dingy. He also tried to out-Blood Raven the Blood Ravens by stealing their artifacts (including full suits of Terminator armor), but was caught when Angel Gate was attacked, and so his attempt failed. In Chaos rising he committed heresy and joined up with the Black Legion to attack the newly promoted Governor Derosa's holdings in hope of regaining leadership. He lost. Oh, right, you never see him.

• Governor Ellena Derosa - An adviser to Governor Vandis and eventually the de facto Governor of all of Meridian after Vandis took off to his playboy mansion and left the planet to die to the Tyranids and Chaos forces, she's also the only useful Imperial Guard commander in the series (up until Retribution anyway). She was originally told by Vandis to stall the Blood Ravens, but had enough of his bullshit and finally helped the Blood Ravens in their defense against the Tyranids and Chaos legions in both games. She also told Thaddeus to fuck off when she had enough of his criticism. Avitus has the hots for her since you don't normally see too many Imperial Guard officers who can tell Space Marine Sergeants to shut the fuck up and listen, but unfortunately for him she is a xenos loving lesbian .

• Warboss Bonesmasha - The Ork Warboss who's supposedly the Warboss of the entire Waaaagh! on Aurelia. He can be fought in an optional mission near the end, which rewards you with another Terminator suit. He's famous in DoWII for having a FUCKING high health counter and ridiculous damage, the highest of any unit boss in the game. The Tyranid Hive Tyrant Alpha has nothing on this guy. Hell, he is so Orky that he can withstand multiple lance strikes from orbiting ships. Though hilariously, with a bit of tactics and a max-leveled Cyrus with a sniper rifle and remote charges/mines or a well-built Tarkus/Hairgel tag-team, you can pretty much solo him without much trouble.

New characters of Chaos Rising

• Apothecary Galan - He found Kyras on the space hulk Judgement of Carrion a long time ago, and was corrupted by Chaos after spending too much time on the wreckage. Once you infiltrate Captain Diomedes's base you have the choice to kill him and his terminator veteran bodyguards, who are also heretics. If you do, he'll be back to his old self and tell you that Kyras is evil and stuff, and you can then blow up Diomedes's base and not have to kill him.

• Abaddon - Because destroying a dangerously depleted Space Marine chapter fighting a civil war with itself is just the sort of victory he needs to win back his 'street cred'. Bwahaha, just kidding. He'll still lose.

• Araghast the Pillager - The Chaos Lord of the Black Legion responsible for Eliphas' resurrection. He is shown to be superior to all prior Chaos Lords, including Eliphas, due to his superior Voice acting, Khorne Worship, and Terminator armor. He is defeated because Relic handled his gameplay terribly, and because Eliphas was an ungrateful dick who let him die. However, Araghast is an enormously powerful unit in actual gameplay terms (ie: Multiplayer) and rather fun to be around, regardless. He's perhaps the best hero unit in the game due to his top end damage when deployed with a Blood Maul or a pair of Lightning Claws. Other benefits include immunity to suppression fire early on in the game, his ability to reduce enemy range to almost nil, and his ability to reduce enemy squad damage by a sizable margin every time he kills a unit and his extremely high health and his vampiric health regeneration. He is clearly the hero of Chaos Rising and the mere idea that he loses to some effete snob with an arrogant and unpleasant fanbase makes the game moar tragic than Hamlet and Othello put together. (But he IS on the boxart, so...) He is also a devotee of Khorne and, unlike Crull, totally awesome. He is a master of the art of insult, as is evident by his creative and awesome taunting of the Blood Ravens on the mission where they kill him. Also awesome because his strategy revolved around portals, and not Defilers. He was eventually killed after getting Sindri'd by Eliphas, which wasn't really that surprising since Araghast has the attention span of Lord Bale.

• Captain Apollo Diomedes of the 1st Company - Diomedes is a helmet wearing jerkass, but damn if he isn't awesome (he's a 1st Company Veteran after all). At first, he kill steals the sorcerer you were sent to eliminate with gusto, then tells you and Gabriel to stand down and get the fuck out of the sector. As a result, Angelos sends you to Calderis to blow up his base. If you kill Galan, you don't have to kill him and he will realize that Kyras is a heretic and joins Angelos's side. This would mean that the 1st, 3rd, and 4th companies would be on Angelos' side, and since the blood ravens are only at half strength, poor old Kyras will only have 200 marines to his name, which would mean that he'd be majorly screwed. He has a pimping white helmet and gold trimmed pauldrons.

• Jonah Orion - Gabe's new librarian buddy after Isador got executed for heresy on Tartarus and a member of the player's squad. He was absent in the first game due to the fact that he played a rousing game of mindfucking with the Tyranid Hivemind for weeks so Gabriel's fleet could enter the system and hamper the Tyranid forces altogether. Jonah is a unique character in the entire WH40K storyline, considering he's the first confirmed negro Space Marine in the entire Imperium who isn't one of the Salamanders, and also the second black guy to appear in the game just after Inquisitor Toth. This is a lot considering 99.9% of every last non-Salamanders personality in the Imperium is white. Well, aside from the Tallarns, who are Scottish Arabs, and from whose stock Jonah and Toth likely hail from. He's pretty powerful in game, he can have a variety of useful/devastating abilities with his tomes and you have a chance to acquire a piece of armor that allows you to infinitely spam the Rosarius wargear for temporary invincibility, fuck yeah. He becomes a rape machine when he is upgraded to the point that he will toss soulfire and smite as part of his normal ranged attacks, dealing massive amounts of ranged damage to anyone stupid enough to get his way. If he turns out the traitor, he's actually possessed by a daemon controlling his body like a puppet after Kyras sold it the codes to circumvent his psychic hood for some stale old pork rinds. In the end, you are able to kill his daemonhost form because he is fighting the daemon from the inside and preventing it from regenerating.

• Ulkair the Great Unclean One - Ulkair is a Great Unclean One of Nurgle who was imprisoned by Kyras long ago in Aurelia, but the prison used to hold him started to break, so he was able to exert his influence into the world. He's the final boss in Chaos Rising. Possibly because Relic heard people say that the Alpha Hive Tyrant in the original campaign was too easy, they made Ulkair absolute hell. He is famous for being THE toughest boss in the entire series up until retribution, where he's replaced by Kyras. He basically has a 7-digit health counter (So his HP should be around 1 million or more) and is capable of 1-shotting your LV.30 kitted-out Force Commander if he isn't in Chaos Rising-grade terminator armor and is the only thing that Davian Cool can't hold in CQC without dying at least once. He can also vomit on everyone, doing around the same damage as an artillery barrage from the Signum, do Eliphas's sweeping doom, and can pull one of your sergeants with his intestines if they start doing kite moves so he can OM NOM NOM him. Fuck The Avatar of Khaine and Warboss Bonesmasha, they're easy compared to this lardass. Oh, and he heals himself every time one of the numerous (and very squishy) generic allied Space Marines on the map dies, regardless of the reason for it.

• Eliphas - He's in the expansion, as a mini-boss no less. Successfully Sindri'd Araghast and assumes leadership of the Black Legion forces. He fails eventually. Almost as annoying to fight as Martellus, due ot spamming doombolts and bloodletters at you. Eliphas appears in Retribution as well, surprisingly as the Chaos Lord. Thank the ever competent Black Legion Chaos Lord for that.

Characters of Dawn of War: Retribution

Retribution had a vastly different cast in comparison to the original game and CR, so a new section is in order.

Contender for manliest IG commander yet? (Make him yell "SPARTA" and the setting is complete)

Multiple covers: Collect them all!

Blood Ravens

• Plot: Diomedes is tasked by Inquisitor Adrastia to find proof that would absolve or damn their Chapter Master of the numerous accusations of heresy.

• Captain Apollo Diomedes - Diomedes finally gets his big break and now assumes the role of the "Force Commander" in Retribution. He lost his pimpin' white helmet, though, and is revealed to be (surprise surprise) bald. He is also called the 'greatest warrior the Blood Ravens have ever seen,' by Azariah Kyras, and proves it with his two handed poweraxe/thunder hammer which does a motherfucking shit ton of damage to anything in its way, even if it's rather slow. He's thoroughly outclassed by Eliphas in terms of damage, but he's generally tankier than Eliphas despite the latter being encased in Terminator armor. On the bright side, he does more damage than Bluddflag. Some consider him to be the spiritual successor of Indrick Boreale. As of the latest patch, he has become insane, fully upgraded to victory is the single most damaging power in the game, if harder to aim than sweeping doom. Charge into any mob of infantry and watch them explode into a fountain of gore. He quickly gets an upgrade that let's him get health back for each attack and kill (and then ANOHER ONE) making him unlikable in melee, when in battle cry mode each of his attacks knock over hordes like bowling pins, his hammer opens up vehicles like cans, his heal power has an utterly ridiculous range, oh and each of his commander items is silly, the banner unsuppresses everyone and heals them, the pack let's him drop in the midst of a blob and throw everyone around or set up for a charge, and iron halo makes him invincible.

• Spike Spiegel - Spike Spiegel has once again returned to try to become a misunderstood badass (again). Out of all his fellow squadmates, Relic just HAD to put Cyrus back in because he's apparently the "cool bad-ass" even though he spends most of his time whining about how fucked up the world is. He's still pretty damned good, but he's not as broken comparatively, since everyone else can use gear for free too. He's very handy for getting rid of those fucking noise marines. Overall however, he's vastly eclipsed by the Assault Terminator honor guard squad you can bring in his place, especially considering they're the only source of Assault Terminators in the game. Get focus, a good rifle, his old kit of explosives, and the power to use abilities without revealing himself. With the best rifle he can turn any infantry he shoots into a blob disrupting bomb that suppresses everything hit by it, with focus he literally slows down time and unleashes rapid fire sniper rape that can let him wipe out a squad before they can even shoot back or turn a dozen enemies into explosives. And high powered shot instagibs just about any infantry, plus he can clear buildings like a pro. Throw in his ability to do all of this while having no energy cost for infiltrating AT ALL and the ability to regenerate energy while infiltrating for extra cheese.

• Martellus - Martellus, that fuckwit, has secretly joined Diomedes. Unlike the last game where all he did was tell you bad news without doing shit about it, he's probably gonna do SOMETHING to help you, considering he's part of your squad. If you haven't guessed, his role is a Techmarine. Give him a melta and he will eat people and tanks for fucking breakfast. End game he gets a nifty as fuck power axe and an ungodly powerful melta, the axe when combined with powerful blow fucks over infantry, the melta eats *everything* , and he can repair a tank from across the map while fucking over the enemy. Do not fuck with the tech geek. Make sure to upgrade energy to get Blessing of the Machine Spirit, use it on a Land Raider and turn the last few missions into an absolute joke.

• The Ancient - He does not speak, since after he killed Avitus (Who was canonically the Traitor), he took a vow of silence to atone for past sins, but his actions speak volumes on the battlefield. He does speak after Diomedes finally realizes that Kyras had been manipulating him all those years. Hand him a plasma cannon and he'll buttfuck most everything that can be thrown at him as long as you can keep him out of melee. Also, arguably the most versatile hero of the squad since he can use anything that isn't a 2 handed melee weapon, a Shotgun or a Sniper Rifle. Can also get his hands on a jump-pack for faster thievery and can make himself invulnerable when using any of his abilities, and that's on top of Tactical Advance. He's secretly Stig's Space Marine cousin. Spoiler: he's Tarkus. Give him the Shadowscale armor wargear that renders him permanently invisible and chapter rites accessory, and a plasma cannon, plus the final offense ability to call in air-strikes, then watch him demolish everything in his path with impunity. This includes your troops, so stay the fuck away.

Orks

• Plot: Kaptin' Bludflagg's Kill Krooza is shot down into Typhon, presumably by those poncy Eldar gits. After killing off the entire Alaitoc warhost on Typhon under the impression that they shot down his krooza, he is later contacted and hired by Inquisitor Adrastia to hunt down and kill Azariah Kyras in exchange for an arranged battle with 3 Imperial Regiments on a battleground of his choice. The deal got botched after Kaptin Bludflagg also wanted Adrastia's flashy hat, which she denied in giving. Kaptin Bludflagg only decides to stomp Kyras good after Adrastia told him that she shot down his Krooza, sending him into a quest for revenge, fightin', lootin', winnin', and hats. Apparently he thinks he has to go through Kyras to get her hat.

• Kaptin Bluddflag - The Ork warboss leading the Waaagh on Aurelia, awesome with a capital A since he's wearing a god damned pirate hat with a bionic eyepatch. Sadly, he isn't Gorgutz, so many a veteran Dawn of War fan were disappointed upon hearing the news. Has a large interest in Hats. Does a whole belligerent sexual tension routine with Adrastia, despite being an asexual animate fungus. Alas, he is a far less capable melee combatant than Eliphas (though he has more health than Eliphas by a large margin and can actually support his army). However, he will always be superior due to being funnier and the mere fact he's a motherfucking pirate, which trumps Chaos Lords in Terminator armor any day. His WAAAGH! ability is pure awesome sauce, eventually making the boyz immune to suppression and buffing damage, healing, completely refilling energy (including Bluddflagg's, so effectively WAAAGH! becomes a free power), reinforcing all the ork squads near him (thus eliminating the need to go back to reinforcement points), repairing damaged vehicles and reviving incapacitated heroes, and summoning additional temporary (and free) ork squads. And the damage bonuses become stronger as more orks are under it's effects, meaning that if you fill up your squad cap with orks, Bluddflagg will allow you to rape everything in seconds. WAAAGH! also recharges very quickly. He talks quite a lot, and apparently he can outsmack Daemon Prince DOM-Kyras. Watching him go toe to toe with a Godzilla sized Daemon Prince, then knocking his head off with a rock, is awesome. He hijacks an entire Tyranid, Ork, and Daemon infested Spacehulk, The Judgement of Carrion, which is totally and absolutely badass. I mean he manages to get a ten thousand something year old floating pile of fused together space junk fully operational in spite of the fact that there is like an entire Hive Fleet's worth of Tyranids in it. He's an ork who can read, write, do basic calculus, and outsmart a Space Marine Chapter Master, which easily makes him basically the ork equivalent of Einstein mixed with Shakespeare. He's voiced by Patrick Seitz, who also voices Abaddon.

• Mister Nailbrain - Mekboy and Kaptin Bluddflagg’s First Mate. "I'll SET ME GITFINDA TA PANSY BOSS!" Once you level him up to the point where he no longer has setup times for deffguns, he becomes very, very useful; after this point you'll handily outdamage the big shoota, so Nailbrain becomes an invaluable suppressing fire provider. His Fighting Juice is very, very handy since it heals your orks, revives incapacitated squad leaders, and improves their combat ability; use it to supplement Bluddflagg's WAAAGH! ability. His Stikkbombs, like all Grenade powers, stop being that good for garrison clearing midway through the game since even Heretics and Guardsmen will be able to take multiple stikkbombs to clear out, give them to spookums who can do so much more with them. However, give him the ability to passive heal vehicles, and the ability that makes vehicles come back from the dead and quite quickly lulz ensue as you go over the Population capacity,make your vehicles are nigh on unkillable and extremely strong, then use a combination of Kans and Tanks with the speed boost ablility, you can also have his passive heal and vehicle revive if you chose his honor squad-A vehicle, quickly this Deff dread can turn into a walking rape machine that costs nothing and doesn't count towards population. He talks the second most out of the Orks, he has almost as many lines as Bluddflagg.

• Spookums - The Kaptin’s Kommando Nob. Doesn't say much, but tends to be funny as shit. His starting shotgun is rather useless since you have to piss around with optimum range bullshit (stand more than a few feet away and you'll take forever to kill even basic infantry, stand too close and you'll be in melee, and even if you can get it right heavy infantry laugh at shotguns which is bad since you'll have to kill a lot of Chaos and renegade space marines) and the Big Shoota is just backup for the Deffgun, but he really starts to shine when you can give him a rokkit launcher. The Rokkit launcher does have some of the optimum range bullshit that the melta and shotguns have, but you can do maximum damage from a reasonable distance which is enough to blow up most every vehicle in two or three shots with frontal armor hits and it reloads really fast (way faster than the missile launcher). The Rokkit launcher is also great for building clearing with either rokkit barrages or normal shots (both of which work by simply blowing up the building). Also, one of his abilities essentially has him open a portal to the infinite grenades dimension, and combining this with his zipline means he can absolutely devastate blobbed enemy forces. When you level his offensive tree he randomly tosses around grenades with an amazingly high percentage of his attacks, which amazingly let's him out damage *Neroth* with just stikkbomms, with smoke grenades he throws cover everywhere, trolling shooty foes, with blind bomms he makes the enemy unable to do anything but stare with a stupid look on their face before they get torn a new asshole, Burnabomms turn everything to ash, and he can have two or even three at once, and he tosses out clusters of both! The actual tossing power when leveled hurls a dozen grenades, some of which explode on impact which is an excellent way to troll blobs and cover camping pansies. Oh and his grenades don't hurt your boyz, feel free to charge away! His zipline not only lets him hop across the map and rip apart infantry, but also revives any fallen heroes. And the cherry on top? He can do all this invisibly, is decently tough, and not half bad in melee. He's easily the best ranged hero in terms of straight-up damage. Neroth, Kain, Tarkus, Eldar kitted out for dakka, Merrick, Castor, Nailbrain, Cyrus, Dakka Martellus, ranged Hive lord, none of them even come close. Him showing up will turn the battlefield into a Michael Bay movie. He is voiced by the guy who is also Medic and Master Miller

• Brikkfist - A Storm Nob that has joined with the Freebooters. No other character in the entire WH40K universe has a name as awesome as his. He is fucking amazing, with the hammer he can hurt just about everything, he'll be able to automatically cause suppression by just being there, and disembowel followed by stab will kill pretty much any infantry unit that is not a boss. Also, fully upgrading his jump abilities causes him to explode on takeoff and landing, fly completely off the screen, and generally be hilarious walking artillery. Even so, he's still outclassed by Kain, who is Eliphas' mute slave, in terms of damage and staying power. With a Tankbusta bomb he'll also be able to rapidly put a hurting on any vehicle, allowing you to finish them off much more easily. He talks quite a bit, but far less than Nailbrain or Bluddflagg. He is an appreciator of really great punches/smacks, saying "Now dat was a propa smak" after seeing Daemon Prince Kyras double hammer fist Captain Angelos, to which Bluddflagg replies "Aye, the second 'ardest y'es gonna see today if ya don't keep movin'." He can get traits that heal him in melee and an axe that also heals him in melee, suppresses people by just being there, taunts enemies into attacking him even after he explodes in their midst, and then rip out their guts before gibbing one poor fool. Awesome. Oh, and he wants to ride a cyclonic torpedo.

Imperial Guard

• Plot: Inquisitor Adrastia, a friend of Gabriel Angelos, is requested by him to try and halt the exterminatus by finding proof of Kyras' heresy. As this is an unofficial investigation, Adrastia uses General Castor's and Merrick's guardsmen as their forces.
• Now available in awesomesauce Krieg form

• Inquisitor Adrastia - The female Inquisitor of The Ordo Hereticus assigned to purge/investigate the Aurelian sub sector of xenos, heretics, and mutants. She has artificer armor, a pimp hat and a pop-collar that rivals that of Creed. Likes: EXTERMINATUS, The Emprah, Burning Heretics, Gabriel Angelos. Dislikes: Everything else. Chief Weapons: Surprise and Fear. Also likes to cheer her men up by telling them that if they fail, Aurelia will be Exterminatus'd and she'll be the only one allowed out. So tsundere for Bluddflagg. No, really. We wish we were kidding here. She apparently has a thing going for Angelos, and when Kyras smacks him in the end of the IG campaign (remember, Angelos only survives the pit of Maledictus in the SM campaign) she gets really pissed, first shouting "CAPTAIN ANGELOS! NO!" and then telling Kyras that he had better pray that he dies this day or she will make sure that his life will be filled with as much fucking pain and misery as possible. That is a totally badass thing to threaten a FUCKHUEG Daemon Prince with. However, despite her general coolness, she is outclassed by her honor guard Storm Troopers, primarily because what she can do, either her Storm trooper honor guards or LORD Bern can do better (Storm troopers pump out more dakka with their melta kits and LORD Bern is infinitely more durable and better in melee.) Seriously, give Adrastia the upgrades which affect Honor Guards, give them the melta kit, and watch them wreck anything in their path. Rapid firing Melta guns, with stun! With that said, she comes with some fairly nifty crowd control/debuff abilities that would have been far more useful in multiplayer. Also the owner of the ONLY DAMN INFERNO PISTOL IN THE ENTIRE GAME. And she replaces it with a glorified bolt pistol if you level the power branch. Derp.

• Lord General Castor - A sorta English looking/sounding General, Castor is the main hero of the Imperial Guard campaign, notable for being one of the few Generals that has plenty of Grit and for having a bionic left arm (more on how he got it later) that allows him to one-hand some of the heaviest weapons in the setting and still be able to hit anyone on the other side with any accuracy. Came to Aurelia to fix the problem that the fuckwads in charge made and to help out Adrastia with her work. Has one of the largest Trophy Rooms of any Imperial General (rumors say that, barring the Emperor's own, it's the largest in the Galaxy) and has every single form of Tyranid that has ever been encountered (He lost his left arm on his semi-successful hunt for a Hierophant bio-titan that was wrecking shit on one of the planets he was assigned to, said Hierophant's head is now his most prized trophy) and a handful of Daemons thrown in for good measure. Despite being the cocksure, glory-hungry and clueless General he appears to be, believe us when we tell you he's a lot smarter than he looks, just ask Kyras. And lastly, he's Creed's second cousin, and is one of the few other Cadians that can pull off Creed's signature Tactical Genius (he was allowed to learn this technique when Creed found out that an old friend was in charge of the Chaos forces there), though he'll never be able to turn a rock into a tank or a bush into a Baneblade, he can turn a Metal Box into a bunch of soldiers (though he needs a base-squad to do that first) and he can turn another Metal Box into a Leman Russ Trollface. He also somehow aims a sniper rifle perfectly with one hand, while holding a sword and running; that man's got skills. In combat, Castor's strength comes in the form of melta guns. Give him the ability that allows his Imperial Guardsmen bodyguard to carry what weapon he's carrying (except sniper rifles), and enjoy your 3-man melta squad. He can also do an exploit that gives you infinite power and requisition, allowing you to buff your heroes to ludicrous heights.

• Commissar LORD Bernn (Not putting LORD in capital letters is heresy, and so is putting LORD in the wrong place.) - The math is simple, Commissars = blam, Commissar LORDS = HEUG BLAMMING! He is a support hero, and ironically, supports his men by murdering them. Lulz ensue if you put him in a Chimera... Is the most OP hero in the campaign, since leveling his summary execution makes the benefit apply to your whole force, meaning an army of catachans and storm trooper meltas is much faster, has longer range, rapid fire shotguns/meltaguns and insane damage, making them annihilate anything within range. And the crown on the epicness? Getting the invulnerable trait makes complete invincibility apply on top of all the other benefits, with summary execution recharging before the invulnerability run out. This makes Kyras's slog a 15-minute joyride with minimal casualties. Alas, he has no lines during the campaign, which fucking sucks, though his actions speak louder than his hammy voice in the field. He's usually seen alongside Adrastia in the field and is known for showing the troops under his command that he has even bigger balls than them by giving a daemon prince a nice powerfisting and coming out of it still smelling of roses. A massive fan of Commissar Yarrick and is rumored to have yanked one of his eyes out so he could put on a bionic eye just like his idol and he seems to lampshade this every time he gets one of his hands on a Power Fist. He is a proud owner of one of Commissar Fuklaw's old Laspistols powered by RAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEGGGG! enabling LORD Bernn to one shot everything suqishier than terminators with a bit of concentration and focused RAAAAAAAEEEEGGGG. Of course, you can go ahead and disregard all of this and take the honor guard because FUCKING OGRYNS HOLY SHIT.

• Sergeant Merrick - Technically not a new character, but Retribution is the first time he's is playable. Merrick is such a badass he blasted through a suicide mission to destroy a Tyranid hive fleet, the return of Ulkair AND the ten years of non-stop war in-between. Plays similar to Tarkus and made Avitus choke on his bitching about the Imperial Guard. Unfortunately, he's also a Goddamn pseudo-heretic who places the lives of his men above the Imperium. HERESY! He got really mad with Castor after the Exterminatus of Typhon, telling Castor that he allowed thousands of guardsmen to die (and did so while Bernn had his gun pointed at his head in preparation for BLAMing), but Castor convinced him that it was a necessary sacrifice and by the time DOM-Kyras is dead, they seem to have become friends more or less... or perhaps something... More? Yes, they do. Bros to the end. Righteous. Give him the ability that eliminates set-up time for heavy weapons and an epic autocannon, plus the ability to call in air-strikes, and he becomes a 1-man army of rape against anything short of Kyras.

Eldar

• Plot: The Eldar campaign revolves around the prevention of an Exterminatus act on the planet Typhon. Since that there is a craftworld buried in the planet, as well as thousands of soul stones, the Eldar assist Inquisitor Andrastia with her investigation of Azariah Kyras' corruption, therefore stopping the Exterminatus, saving the soul stones, and making Slaanesh very unhappy... At least, that's the plan.

• Autarch Kayleth - The Eldar commander which the player assumes the role of in Retribution. She has a squeaky high-pitched voice compared to Idranel, is incapable of producing any facial expression other than scowling, and constantly annoys Ronahn with her day-on-end bitching. Has access to the same grenade dimension as Tarkus and Spookums, but combines it with jumping everywhere to become a lolhuge plasma grenade bombing run. She can do a lot of damage but is delicate, so she works best as a hit-and-run type melee hero, although she can use several types of ranged weapons as well. Have her jump into the middle of a group of enemies, let them all charge into surround her in melee, then have her toss grenades all around her, then have her do a grenade-drop jump back out of melee. Laugh as the enemy eats a ton of grenade spam. Almost every weapon you collect in the campaign will be exclusive to her.

• Ronahn - A former Pathfinder of Ulthwe, but he has renounced his ties to the Seer-led craftworld and now wanders the stars. He probably left because of that dick Eldrad. Sadly, he can never be badass because his gun looks like a giant dildo.(However he still is the most badass in your hero squad..) Still though, he survived Ulthwe's failed attack on Angel Forge and the Black Legion's incursion in the sector, that has to account for something. Also, he's Taldeer's brother. As of now it is not known where he fits into LCB canon. Is able to solo missions if you pimp him up enough and leave him with Ranger Long Rifle, as he can BOOM HEADSHOT just about anything given sufficient time and provided he remains undetected.

• Veldoran - An aged and experienced Warlock accompanying Kayleth on her mission. Can make people's heads explode like in Scanners. He likes to piss Rhonan off with his powers of foresight, which some interpret as implying that he was secretly sent by Eldrad to dick around with him. This is debatable, as he is from Alaitoc. He is by far, one of the most hilarious melee fighters in the game. His "Ethereal Slash" ability basically gives him the equivalent of Eliphas' Sweeping Doom. Level his offensive tree, which vastly improves his offensive skills, to maximum and he'll krump anything from hordes Guardsmen to Nobs in an instant with an Ethereal Slash, level up his health tree to 4 points, where he no longer suffers from suppression, and Veldoran basically becomes a glass-cannon version of Eliphas. Then, give him a Good Singing Spear, the Destructor Runes (For a bit of ranged dakka), plus some heavy armor, then watch him hilariously pulp down armies in a heartbeat.

• Elenwe - A Farseer, a master of prediction, helping to guide Kayleth on her mission. Looks surprisingly (read: exactly) like a 16bit pallet swap of Idranel. She doesn't have anything special, apart from the fact that she's the only source of reliable heals for your squad. A good staff and Runes of Channeling is a good setup for her, then level up her health tree to the point where she passively restores health to nearby allies. Then get 2 squads of Wraithguards, stick her near them, and watch your firing line of D-Cannons lay waste while doing a bang-up impression of an objective-sitting Plague Marine squad.

Tyranids

• Plot: Aside from returning to contact with the Hive Mind, the rest is perfectly clear: The Tyranids will just OM NOM NOM everything edible as usual.

• The Hive Lord - Not the swarmlord as originally thought (he's busy in the Octarius sector anyway), but simply a hilariously tough Hive Tyrant. He's the only Hero for the Tyranids since their campaign plays more like a troop-focused RTS. He's trying to lead the tyranids to resume contact with the Hive Fleet in deep spehss, but something is interfering with his telepathic communication to the fleet and the Hive Lord will solve that problem in the only way that ever works; with lots and lots of violence. He becomes one of the most awesome hive tyrants ever by charging right at a titan sized Daemon Prince and hacking away until DOM-Kyras becomes weak enough to be decapitated by a capillary tower bursting out of the ground. He leads the Hive Fleet to return, make the Malleus ships run with their tails between their legs, and omnomnom Aureilia. In the first Tyranid mission, you immediately have to kill Sergeant Merrick, which is the second most emotionally devastating moment in the game. He is easily the best tank out of all of the Heroes, having more hit points at the start of the game than many heroes will have by level ten (though, to be fair, he has no one to back him up so he needs to survivability), and the fact that the engine considers him a vehicle lets him break missions that weren't designed for vehicles in half. And on top of that, he can also summon reinforcements instantly with no requisition cost (initially he's limited to Rippers, but can upgrade to summon Gaunts, Raveners, and Genestealers instead) has a wide variety of wargear that lets him be either snooty or choppy and also grants fun abilities like the ability to auto-revive and reinforce all units near him. Oh, and as a synapse creature everything around the Hive Lord gets buffs that can also be boosted via wargear.

• The Hive Mind - No longer simply just a woman's voice with a bit of an echo, the Hive Mind's voice has been reworked into somebody who sounds like they're gargling nails and mayonnaise as they speak (as well as being mildly creepier and more capable of expressing emotion). Ironic, considering the voice is done by a crazy woman. The Hive Mind essentially plays the role that Gabriel Angelos did in the Dawn of War II and Chaos rising campaigns, giving you plot exposition and commands. The other half of the plot exposition comes from intercepted communications from your enemies in response or anticipation to your actions.

Chaos

• Plot: Eliphas is now under oath from Failbaddon, his job is to give him every last Blood Raven soul and prevent Kyras' ascension, lest Kyras try to take over as Warmaster himself.

• Lord Eliphas - has somehow regained his badassitude. His lines are usually the most violent and best voiced out of all the heroes (tied with the Orks), and he does the most damage out of all the other heroes in the game when specc'd as a Khornate Champion. In addition, in his campaign he has a rematch with Davian Thule and wins. Killing Davian is likely the hardest thing in the game to do from an emotional standpoint, like being forced to shoot a dog you've loved and taken care of for most of your childhood. With his terminator armor (which he obviously stole from Araghast), his constant screaming of 'BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!' and his fun gameplay, Eliphas seemed to have been back to his old self right up until he starts sucking up to Failbaddon. Failbaddon exploits Eliphas' belief in his arms to kowtow Eliphas into servitude. Eliphas then goes on to kill copious amounts of shit and becomes a Daemon Prince after killing another Daemon Prince (Kyras). He can also find a Bloodletter's Hellblade (sadly not a Bloodthirster's Axe) and a Daemon Sword, easily the best commander weapons. He is also capable of soloing missions and land raiders. Turning him into a full Khornate/Nurgle Lord turns him into an all-powerful, unstoppable rapemachine that makes Bluddflag and Diomedes look like shivering pansies in comparisons. He'll out-damage all of them with their best possible respective weapons with almost anything you can get your hands on, and he'll get two passive DoT auras that drain a combined 50hp every second and heals him. Also, he gets health back with every hit. As of the latest patch, Diomedes' To Victory substantially outdamages' Eliphas' sweeping doom, and he's no less capable of being an invincible hurt machine, God damn it. Upon giving him the highest level armor, he looks, suspiciously enough, exactly like Araghast did. Complete with a helmet. Thanks to a mod, you can successfully get rid of Eliphas' baldness and give him a helmet from the get go, making the Chaos Campaign completely awesome. Upon defeating Kyras, he arguably gets the best finishing move, he delivers some particularly macho words and then opens a Warp Rift. After which, a Chaos Star appears and CHAINSAWS KYRAS' FUCKING HEAD OFF IN A SPRAY OF GORE.

• Neroth - Chaos Sorcerer devoted to Tzeentch and perhaps the most prissy character in the game. He is an agent of Abaddon sent to make sure that Eliphas fulfills his promise. He's not a very SSSSSINNDRIII type sorcerer despite having the same VA as Sindri, and is mostly concerned with blowing shit up. Giving him the Artifact of Ahriman and kitting him out with 5 points in Offense lets him eat loyalists and shit free doombolts powerful enough to wipe out four squads of Guardsmen at once on very hard, while Eliphas hits the hard targets. In the campaign, Neroth serves a role somewhat akin to a nagging wife, consistently and ineffectually screeching at Eliphas for his decisions. He promptly shuts up after Kyras is slain, however. Some think that Eliphas killed him after ascending to daemonhood after sacrificing the Aurelian sector to Khorne. Some have also speculated that he is gay tsundere for Eliphas.

• Kain - Chaos Champion. HE LIVES IN DEATH! PEACE THROUGH POWER! Whoops, wrong RTS series. He doesn't talk much. Or at all, really. You can fool yourself into thinking that he's Chaos Rising's Eliphas while thinking Retribution's Eliphas is Araghast. Confused yet? Give him the ability that increases his power and rate of fire at the cost of health damage, give him armor that increases his regeneration, hand him a lascannon (or a autocannon), and watch vehicles pop like popcorn. Despite not being a main character and having no lines, he's still capable of out damaging Bluddflag. Even then, Kain doesn't even come close to Eliphas in DPS or durability.

• Varius - Plague Champion. Put the 'a' out in front and the 'i' second and it will turn out that his name is an anagram for "a Virus", which pretty much suits him. Also ugly as fuck but that's unsurprising considering he's a follower of Papa Nurgle. Doesn't talk much either. Can turn out to be a fine healer if stamina is filled to max and you get him metabolism. He's also a pretty good tank, which is to be expected from a nurglite and especially a plague marine champion/sergeant WHO FEELS NO PAIN! However, his main use is his zombification track, which makes all allies, as well as anything he kills or infects, temporarily come back as plague zombies to wreck shit for you. Zombifying a heavy weapons team and having it decimate their own lines is a thing of fucking beauty, as is having unstoppable waves of Cultists blowing themselves up, zombifying, and exploding in a shower of plague when they die again. Nurgle is a generous patron. Almost as much as Khorne. Varius doesn't have a shining role in terms of attacks like Neroth or Eliphas, though, give him the a good Chainaxe or bilespewer and watch him zombify entire infantry squads in record time. He's also the only source of heals for your squad since Chaos don't get stim kits, so you'll be forced to bring Varius into your missions, whether you like him or not.

• Ulkair - He survived, and is a servant of Eliphas now. Not nearly as tough as before since his health isn't even above 10,000, but just enough to do his job of being a siege unit.

Others

• Azariah Kyras - In the past he backstabbed his way up to the position of Chapter Master of the Blood Ravens, and, as you would expect, it turns out he is a filthy Khorne worshipping sorcerer. However, Khorne hates sorcerers, Librarians ARE NOT the same thing as sorcerers. Sorcerers use arcane knowledge, runes or words of power; a Librarian merely draws upon the power of the warp via the natural connection of their minds as psykers and then beats the fuck out of things with it. While not as Khorne pleasing as mangling someone with your bare hands, beating the fuck out of something with your mind is better than beating the fuck out of something with calligraphy or an equation.) Khorne probably let him serve him despite his sorcerous ways because of how well he could scream the standard Khornate mantra of: "BLOOD! FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS! FOR THE SKULL THRONE!" as well as a new one "LET THE GALAXY, BURN!" so well that Khorne just had to take notice. Kyras used his dickery to get the Imperium to Exterminatus Typhon and sign off a big chunk of a Space Marine chapter to him. After all of this Khornate dickery he walked over to a lava pool in Cyrene where he merged with the Daemon of the Maledictum to become a Mega-Uber-daemon prince the size of a fucking skyscraper (and remember, Sindri only tapped the Maledictum's power when he became a super-daemon prince, Kyras fucking became one with it.) He became the best update to the generic daemon prince look in all Warhammer 40k history, even though he only partially ascended so he was still mortal. Gabriel Angelos found him out and came down to fight him with a bunch of terminators, Jonah Orion, and a Dreadnought or two; but then Diomedes/Bluddflagg/The Hive Lord/Kayleth/Adrastia/Eliphas also found the fucker out and came down to Cyrene just after Angelos. Angelos and his crew futilely fight against Kyras, accomplishing nothing besides killing some Daemons and Chaos loonies because they forgot to blow up the Offering Altars of buttfuckery that were making Kyras invulnerable and protecting him while he finished his ascension. Kyras accidentally tells his weakness to the orks/other space marines/eldar/imperial guard/tyranids/other chaos loonies by telling his chaos looneys to protect these altars. The protagonists destroy the first altar; after which Kyras/DOM gives Angelos one hell of a double hammer fist and disposes of the rest of those space marines. Then they mow down the rest of the altars and make Kyras vulnerable and fight him. After a long, long, LONG, WAY TOO GODDAMN LONG fight, Kyras is on death's door and the protagonists call down their death from above global power (Eldritch Storm, Orbital Bombardment, Artillery Strike, Rok Bombardment, Capillary towers, or Empyreal Abyss) and finish the fucker off, by hitting him a lot of times before blowing his head off and causing his bloated corpse to slump back into his pit. Because he used noise marines, he isn't as bro-tier as Araghast.
  • Of course, if you're playing as Imperial Guard, Kyras is a complete joke. Grab a hundred Guardsmen with Plasma Guns and Flamers, a couple Melta armed Stormtrooper teams and a Baneblade, and you're laughing as Kyras crumbles in under five minutes. Forget all of that, bring the entire squadcap of nothing but Stormtroopers with Meltas, and he goes down in under 15 seconds.

• Sergeant Lysandros: The sergeant of a renegade Blood Raven contingency, sent to destroy Argus settlement on Calderis to remove traces of Kyras' passing there. He gets killed after you level his base. He's known for sending a large contingent of Razorbacks to reinforce their base, because we all know that Space Marines love to HIDE IN MEHTAL BAWKSES! THE COWARDS! THE FEWLZ! You do have to take away his metal boxes in order to take out his HQ.

• Tyrea: An Eldar Banshee Exarch who survived Ulthwe's failed attack on Angel Forge. She still has that annoying voice and is an overall bitch, even to fellow Eldar.....well except for Ronahn, who she manages to remember before she gets sacrificed to become the Avatar of Khaine in the Eldar campaign.

• Maledictum Daemon - The Khornate Demon which Gabriel Angelos accidentally released on Tartarus a few years back, during the original Dawn of War. Gabe gets his shit together and goes off to have a showdown with him while he's merged with Kyras. It is totally fucking glorious. Especially when Gabriel gets motherfucking flattened by a two-fisted hammer blow that could have probably squished a Baneblade. He probably dies (as in permanently dead, and yes you can kill a Daemon off for good) with Kyras after the two get decapitated by roks/orbital bombardment/bombers/whatever the fuck you used to finish him off.

• Abaddon the Despoiler - Serves only to screech angrily and threaten Eliphas to fulfill his promise of delivering all the souls of the Blood Ravens to him but can't actually do anything to him since he lacks arms - luckily for him, Eliphas is completely unaware of Abaddon's "little" problem. After Eliphas wins, he literally squees that Eliphas is awesome, the fickle cunt.

• The Mad-mek - The boss on the Judgement of Carrion for everyone except the Tyranids, he got stuck on the Space Hulk, went insane from being stuck there, even by Ork standards (assuming they have any) and is currently trying to build a teleporter to get out. As he's a paranoid nutcase, he attacks the player and you have to kill him. Mainly famous for his hilarious dialogue, after you escape the Exterminatus of Typhon Primaris you will be introduced to this motherfucking hilarious sonovabitch. He hams it up to epic levels, easily out-hamming the rest of the DoW2 casts combined. "I FINKS IT'LL BE ANNUVER DECADE BEFORE I CAN ZAP MESELF OUT A DIS BUG...INFESTED... 'ELL 'OLE!!!!!!" Can be very annoying to fight because he has a tendency to teleport units in melee with him out of the room you fight him in when they get into melee, meaning he takes a while to kill and has no trouble putting rokkits in your tanks. Dies in seconds to dreadnoughts.

• Jonah Orion - Playable only in the campaign prologue. Also gets double-hammered along with Angelos. Though in the SM campaign, while Gabriel survives, Jonah, lacking the ridiculous levels of Plot Armor Gabriel has, follows the age-old tradition of "the black dude dies first".

• Commander McTavish - Name based after Graham McTavish due to the fact they they sound very alike. Has a Scottish accent and red glowing eyes indicating that he is corrupted by chaos. He chases the players with a Baneblade in one of the first missions, leading to many shat pants. When he finally gets the players cornered, the players hack into the defensive weapons and blow the baneblade into smoldering ash.

• The Traitor Sergeant - The sergeant who led the traitor guard on Meridian. He glorifies Corn and spams air support.

• The Traitor commander in a Banewolf - An Imperial Guard commander who turned into a Nurgle cultist after he and the overwhelming majority of his regiment was corrupted by Ulkair. He has a pretty decent VA, though not very Nurgle-ish.

• Those three Space Marines who have British accents for some reason - Undoubtedly the best VA'd characters in the game. These 2 renegade marines and 1 Chaos Space Marine have well done accents. Likely the only link to the fact that Games Workshop is a BLEEDING BRITISH COMPANY. They are also well characterized by being able to scream Blood for the Blood God better than any body else.

• Davian Thule - OK, he doesn't have a major role in Retribution, in fact he's only seen in the early part of the campaign as Chaos. Though some suspect that it's him going Toe-to-Toe with a Chaos Dreadnought in the Tutorial Mission.

Last Stand

Just before the release of Chaos Rising, Dawn of War 2 updated with a new game mode, as did the successor game, Dawn of War 2: Retribution. This new game mode, Last Stand is a fun co-op game mode where you play as one hero from any of the existing six factions (specifically, the Space Marine Captain, Tyranid Hive Tyrant, Chaos Sorcerer, Ork Mekboy, and Eldar Farseer. Retribution further adds the Imperial Lord General, a new Last Stand map, and a new DLC-only hero in the Tau Commander.

It's remarkably competent and a lot of fun to play with friends, and definitely worth checking out.

Multiplayer

A Synopsis in Comic Form

Whilst Dawn of War 2's myriad Single-Player campaigns and Last Stand mode are generally-beloved by the playerbase, for their plot and characterization, and Last Stand's raw fun-factor, the same cannot be said of Dawn of War 2's multiplayer, which is horribly reviled by much of the playerbase for being both counter-intuitive, non-interactive, and poorly-designed. Boasting a general setup virtually identical to Relic's World War II RTS Company of Heroes, Dawn of War II's multiplayer starts off strong - multiple heroes, and some (apparent) real tactical choices for each faction - and quickly slides downhill.

The central mechanic of Dawn of War 2 is capturing points, much as was the case in its predecessor. Unlike the original, however, Dawn of War 2's smaller scale and extremely slow econ-building means that the bulk of Dawn of War 2 is focused around a much smaller group of units - and these magic buttons, once taken, cannot be reinforced or made harder to take by building structures or guns on it, like Dawn of War 1 - and worse, with most defense structures costing population and resources in a game with few to spare, you cannot afford to use these on any but the most-critical of the magic buttons: the Victory Points. This frequently means that games between newbies to DOW2 frequently turn into merry-go-round battles as everyone tries to take everyone else's magic buttons, only to lose theirs and need to capture it again. The comp opponents, even on the hardest difficulties, are well-known for being willing to foster this behavior, and will sooner die than allow a magic button to go un-humped.

One might think that this metagame design means that securing and holding terrain would be of critical importance, something that was true in the Tabletop 40K game for Table Quarters or Objective games. If this is what you thought, then you thought like an idiot, because if you don't keep your units grouped for maximum firepower, you can expect to lose them in short order - and with their expense and time involved replacing them, you cannot afford to lose them. Because of this, scouting, securing better terrain, and pretty much all else fall secondary to getting a big ol' cluster of early game units, moving for the magic button closest to the enemy, and (hopefully) killing their force group, ergo putting them in an utterly-unrecoverable-from situation where you already hold most of the map and they can do nothing but watch their tickets slowly bleed away. Most games of Dawn of War 2's multiplayer decisively end in about 4 minutes specifically because of this gameplay mechanic. Because of the entire metagame slowly pulling itself into this bizarre paradigm, DOW2's Multiplayer comes across as remarkably one-dimensional, since it's rare that high-level games make it beyond Tier 2 - they turn into complete curb-stomps. The ones that don't quickly devolve into the Merry-Go-Round.

Special note needs to be made for the Retreat mechanic. Intended to allow players who are risking losing units to remove them from battle so they can recover back at base, it's an incredibly finicky mechanic that happens to grossly benefit a certain faction that can move faster than most and is nigh-impossible for slower and larger commanders to get much use out of if they really start getting pounded. In practice, it just slows down a game which already has a painfully poor pace. With every game de-volving into either a curb-stomp or the merry-go-round, the Retreat mechanic is only one more bit of strangeness further diluting a game whose mechanics already defy comprehension.

To further drive home how bad this game's general premise is, the central focus of the metagame is not 1v1s, but, in fact, 3v3 team battles. This setup has allowed the devs to get incredibly lazy with setups, since no race actually needs to be self-sufficient in a strategy game where this sort of thing is supposed to be a critical element.

Resurrection

With THQ going under, and Sega scooping up the license, there were questions what this would mean for DOW2, since the original game's and Chaos Rising's servers were being allowed to expire. What no one expected was they're actually being allowed to resume full support for DOW2, and with that Faggot Johnny Ebbert gone, this has every possibility of being Awesome.

You can read all about it here.

It appears that for the moment they're focusing on porting the multiplayer for vDoW2 and CR off of GFWL and onto Steam, but we can't rule out the possibility of larger additions later on yet.