Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka

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thraka is the most badass ork ever, if you dont think so your either a girl or a faggot.... faggot (or both?).

He was once a normal ork, until his head got blown off, causing him to start having crazy visions once it was back on. Now, he's the leader of the biggest WAAAAAGH! currently running.

Awesome Quote

I'm da hand of Gork and Mork, dey sent me to rouse up da boyz to crush and kill ‘cos da boyz forgot what dere ‘ere for. I woz one of da boyz till da godz smashed me in da ‘ead an’ I ‘membered dat Orks is meant to conquer and make slaves of everyfing they don’t kill. I’m da profit of da Waaagh an’ whole worlds burn in my boot prints. On Armour-Geddem, I led da boyz through da fire deserts and smashed da humies’ metal cities to scrap. I fought Yarik, old one-eye at Tarturus, an’ he fought good but we smashed iz city too. I’m death to anyfing dat walks or crawls, where I go nothin’ stands in my way. We crushed da stunties on Golgotha, an’ we caught old one-eye when da speed freeks blew da humies’ big tanks ta bits. I let ‘im go ‘cause good enemies iz ‘ard to find, an Orks need enemies ta fight like they need meat ta eat an’ grog ta drink. I iz more cunnin’ than a grot an’ more killy than a dread, da boyz dat follow me can’t be beat. On Pissenah we jumped da marine-boyz an’ our bosspoles was covered in da helmets we took from da dead ‘uns. We burned dere port an’ killed dere bosses an’ left nothin’ but ruins behind. I’m Warlord Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka an’ I speak wiv da word of da gods. We iz gonna stomp da ‘ooniverse flat an’ kill anyfing that fights back. We iz gonna do this coz’ we’re Orks an’ we was made ta fight an’ win!

Makari

Once upon a time (read: 2nd edition) Ghazghkull had a personal standard bearer, Makari the Gretchin. He was quite fond of Makari. Makari had no battle application, he had no guns and poorer fighting ability than a Guardsman. But he had a banner, a BIG banner, that he waved about eagerly. In fact, so eagerly he often got shot at, but Makari was a special Gretchin. He was ridiculously lucky, so lucky in fact, he had an unmodifiable 2+ save (equivilent of a 2+ invul save). So walking into the most dangerous battlezones in the whole of the grimdark Universe was one plucky little Gretchin with a banner, standing side by side with the most powerful Ork in existance.

Then Games Workshop decided that big bad Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka having a personal Gretchin wasn't grimdark enough. So big G sat on Makari by accident and fed him to a squig.

Fuck. That.

The Truth about Makari

Orks are creatures of war and death. Deprived of it they waste away as other species would deprived a vital part of their diet. It is the slowest and most agonising death an Ork can face. But that is not to say that Orks do not have a kind side, a decent side. A side that allows them to feel fondness of others.

"Oi, Boss, where ya goin'?" asked Graknob, before a sharp smack to the back of the head from one of his fellow Nobs silenced him. Ghazghkull Thraka, greatest Ork Warlord the Orkoid race has ever seen, did not even stop in his plodding steps as he walked away from his main tent in the camp. Some of the boyz had objected to moving the Waaagh off course to visit this small, unknown, out of the way planet. 'Itz already been smashed, why we'z goin' here?' some had asked, but never loud enough for the boss to hear. The Nobz waited for their mega-armoured warboss to be out of earshot before answering the new member of Ghazghkull's retinue.

"'E's off rememberin'" said one, an old Ork named Griksnak who had served their boss for many many years.

"'E can remember jus' fine round 'ere. What's 'e rememberin'?" asked the curious Nob, uncaring of the death-stares he was receiving from his fellow Nobz.

"Think 'bout it dis way, ya git. Us Orks love ta fight, yeah?"

"Yeah, even a snotling knows dat!"

"But da boss keeps sendin' us 'gainst da 'umies. Dis is cuz 'e hates dem. Now, why'd da boss hate 'umies?"

Graknob remained silent for a few seconds, pondering the question he was asked. "Cuz dey got ugly faces?"

The other Nobz just shook their heads. "'E lost someone ta 'em." Graknob looked around, confused. Everyone knew it didn't matter if an Ork died, he just got belched back into another body. He couldn't understand the feeling of loss.

Ghazghkull had shed most of his mega armour by the time he got to the top of the hill. Being an Ork, the act of removing armour seemed... unusual, to say the least, but it seemed appropriate to approach this site somewhat vulnerable. After all, he was meeting with the one being he knew would never harm him.

"'ey. Uhh... not sure what's I suppose'ta say 'ere. Jus' wanted tah, y'know, say 'ello. See how ya's was. Dose 'umies who got dat lucky shot off on ya? Yeah, dey dead. 'Dere planet is dead. Got lotsa da bastards. 'Ope dat helps out somehow. Wells... I's be goin', den. I... I misses ya, boy." Ghazghkull Mag Thraka turned and began walking down the hill again, leaving the grave he had been speaking to behind. A grave that simply said:

Makari

Banna Wava

Everyone knew Orks were belched back into another body after they died. Not Gretchin though. No Gretchin could ever replace Makari.