Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka

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(Moar boyz)

That is the greatest Ork warlord to ever live? He's about to get his ass whooped by an old man.

Ghazghull Mag Uruk Thraka is the Warlord of one of the largest Ork WAAAGH's in existence. AND E IS DA BIGGEST AND DA BEST BOSS OOO SMASHES ALL DA UMIES, AND ANYFING ELSE WOT WANTZ TA 'AVE A GO

Overview

Ghazy started out as an Ork of very little standing or prestige in the Goff's Klan on the planet of Uruk, where he also got his name 'Uruk', Yeah, we thought it was a LoTR reference too. Anyway, this meant that he was at least slightly tougher than the regular git, but hey, who's counting?

Anyway, an unknown group of Spess Mehreens were forced to attack the Orks in Uruk. Oh, poor Ghazghkull fought but a bolter round tore into his skull, destroyed over 30% of his skull and pulped most of his brain. Rough, considering like most Orks he had little there to begin with. After the Spess Mehreens systematically left Uruk, Ghazghkull was found by a particularly... creative Painboy known as Mad Dok Grotsnik, who rebuilt the small Ork's head with adamantium for shits and giggles. (They don't call him Mad Dok for nothing.)

Apparently metal plates unleash Psyker potential within Orks. Which also gave Ghazghkull some visions from Gork and Mork, convincing him he was blessed. So yeah, Orks can be religious too. So, after this, he became delusional- sorry, I meant DESTINED FER GRAET FINGZZZ and rose to become Warboss of his tribe after a short period of 6 years. Guess he needed to check in with his Ork Minister. Anyway, here's where the lulzy shit starts going down. A year or two later, Uruk's sun began to die, killing boyz with radiation from severe Solar Flares. However, conveniently enough, a massive Space Hulk appeared and provided Ol' Ghazy a chance to be someone for a change. (Apparently the dick had something to do with this, as otherwise the WAAAAGH!! would have headed straight for Ulthwé instead and we all know how much the Eldar would prefer that other people fight their battles for them.) He decided to get all them boys on Uruk together and made for that Space Hulk. It failed to start up several times. In the warp of all places. Which also meant they got to fwack some lesser daemons while they waited.
The daemons may not have found these incidents as amusing as the Orks did.

"Travellin' through space is boring. Well, boring unless da hulk yer on is full of dem gene-sneakers, or a base fer da chaos lads wiv da spikes, or already has Boyz on it. Or if humie lootas come callin', that's always good fer a bit a sport. Or unless yer have a mutiny or two to pass da time, or unless strange fings start happenin', which dey usually do when yer out in da warp. One time we had some bloody great ugly fing come straight out of Weird Lugwort's 'ed! It butchered half da lads, that was pretty entertainin'. Come ter fink of it, space is a pretty good larf. And that's before yer find yerself a nice world ta crush!"
~ Bigmaw, Orks on Space Flight

Anyway they finally managed to reach Armageddon and the fine wars that we all know and love started out. They were all great failures, especially considering that every fucking strategy he tried was fucked over by Yarrick in the Second Armageddon War anyway. Then the SPESSSH MEHREEENZ arrived and it all went as well as you would expect things to go for the Orks when the Oh-So Awesome, Hyper-Religious Nazi Warriors of the Imperium decide to get their act together. Then the Third War for Armageddon started and Ghazgkhull got his ass kicked by an old man with an oversized and silly looking claw. What the fuck? He ends up fucking up the entire planet, and withdraws simply because he got bored. Sometime between all of this, Yarrick swore to avenge the dead of Armageddon and kill Ghazgkhull. A rather strange thing to hear from a man who's job it is to kill his own soldiers when they so much as put their hands up or ask a question, but hey, we'll buy it that may be Yarrick's job but he instead inspires the men with acts of heroism.

Ghazgkhull developed an... equally unhealthy relationship with Yarrick, regarding him as 'the bestest 'umie evar'

And that's all there was to him for about twenty years, till 7th edition. It just seemed falling on his ass twice wasn't enough for da big boss no mores, so the Games Workshop team *gasp* advanced the storyline.

Well, just Ghazghkull's storyline.

See, Ghaz left Armageddon to go find something he wasn't quite sure of. Then, he had this revelation from Gork and Mork, telling him he was to create a galaxy-wide waaagh! Ghaz had a space battle with Yarrick and Helbrecht, but got away, leaving his humie boyfriend in the dust. Ghazghkull, now determined to unite the orks under the Great Waaagh, went around the galaxy, thumping heads and getting orks in line. Then he went to Octarius and intervened, killing all the tyranids on Octarius and, essentially, driving over hive fleet Leviathan's testicles in a battlewagon. He let the empire of Octarius and its overfiend know he was the prophet of the ork gods and would bring an eternal Waaagh to the galaxy. Now endless orks flock to Octarius to join the fight against the remaining tyranids, turning the whole area into an endless war of attrition against the tyranids just as Armageddon is the against the Imperials. Get that? With pretty much every major ork concentration between Armageddon and Octarius is united under Ghazghkull, he is on his way to uniting the ork race. Oh yeah, and he can psychically sense big concentrations of orks so he knows where to go.

Some consider Ghazghkhull to be the Warhammer 40K to Warhammer Fantasy's Grimgor Ironhide. But he's not nearly as Mary Sue-ish. Possibly.

Awesome Quotes

"I'm da hand of Gork and Mork, dey sent me to rouse up da boyz to crush and kill ‘cos da boyz forgot what dere ‘ere for.

I woz one of da boyz till da godz smashed me in da ‘ead an’ I ‘membered dat Orks is meant to conquer and make slaves of everyfing they don’t kill.

I’m da profit of da Waaagh an’ whole worlds burn in my boot prints. On Armour-Geddem, I led da boyz through da fire deserts and smashed da humies’ metal cities to scrap. I fought Yarik, old one-eye at Tarturus, an’ he fought good but we smashed iz city too.

I’m death to anyfing dat walks or crawls, where I go nothin’ stands in my way. We crushed da stunties on Golgotha, an’ we caught old one-eye when da speed freeks blew da humies’ big tanks ta bits. I let ‘im go ‘cause good enemies iz ‘ard to find, an Orks need enemies ta fight like they need meat ta eat an’ grog ta drink.

I iz more cunnin’ than a grot an’ more killy than a dread, da boyz dat follow me can’t be beat. On Pissenah we jumped da marine-boyz an’ our bosspoles was covered in da helmets we took from da dead ‘uns. We burned dere port an’ killed dere bosses an’ left nothin’ but ruins behind. I’m Warlord Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka an’ I speak wiv da word of da gods. We iz gonna stomp da ‘ooniverse flat an’ kill anyfing that fights back. We iz gonna do this coz’ we’re Orks an’ we was made ta fight an’ win!"

All were found scrawled on the side of an Imperial Titan in legible Gothic. We suspected his good buddy "Clever" Nazdreg helped him with that. However the next quote comes from the memories of Yarrick himself as Ghazghkull (Chains of Golgotha book) releases him... HE SPEAKS IN FUCKING HIGH GOTHIC!

"A great fight! My best enemy. Go to Armageddon, make ready for the greatest fight"

See Also

• Makari, Ghazghkull's late banna-wava.
• Orks
• Metalbeard, his long-lost Lego brother