Grey Knights

The only thing they don't get is life insurance

More like Gay Knights after new codex, amirite?

The Grey Knights are a bunch of fucking badass SPESS MEHREENS that also, like their brethren, do it for the EMPRAH. The Grey Knights are the legendary 666th Spess mahreen chapter made by the Emprah and one of the few Chapters to have more than 1000 marines. They have about 3000 battle brothers, beating out the Space Wolves (who have about 1440) but losing to the Black Templars (who have 6000-10000). Notably while the Grey Knights are an all psyker force, the Black Templars don't allow any psykers to join and both heavily draw from medieval influences, however it's almost certain that if all the Grey Knights were to fight all the Black Templars that the Black Templars would get squashed.

Overview

They're all made with the Gene-seed of the Emperor himself, making them sort of like mini-primarchs. The Grey Knights work under the Ordo Malleus and specialize in killing anything daemonic, so they're typically called in to deal with giant greater daemons of death or Chaos Primarchs themselves, and boy can they ruin any daemon's day. People outside the Ordo Malleus and high-lords of Terra do not know much about the Grey Knights, other than they exist and totally kick-ass, because their base of operations and anything that happens within their Chapter are never discussed outside the Ordo or by the High-lords though as the First war of Armageddon, Dawn of War:Dark Crusade, and Dawn of War:Soulstorm show, they'll work with other Chapters if the Ordo Malleus or one of their higher-ups decides that their presence is needed or if their presence is requested by the overall commander of Space Marine operations.

They don't necessarily have to fight Daemons and will readily deal with more mundane things like witches, mutants, and heretics. These would normally be left to the Ordo Hereticus and their chamber militant the Sisters of Battle as well as their inquisitorial stormtroopers. Grey Knights also occasionally fight Xenos which would normally be left to the Ordo Xenos and their chamber millitant the Deathwatch which is composed of the hardest non-grey knight space marines around as well as the usual inquisitorial stormtroopers. Again, this is rare as the Grey Knights and their Ordo Malleus Inquisitorial Stormtrooper allies will typically feel that this is a waste of their talent.

All of this changes when Xeno Warp entities like the Avatars of Khaela Mensha Khaine and Enslavers appear or when said heretics, mutants, and witches bring out Daemons or some combination of the above, but this tends to end up causing two or if they're really unlucky; all three branches of the inquisition to descend down upon the poor sap. Fighting Inquisitorial Stormtroopers from all three branches, the Sisters of Battle, the Deathwatch, and the Grey Knights all at once is a challenge that most sapient entities would much rather slowly gnaw all of their legs off than face.

Grey Knights are also the most elite of the Space Marines and are trained in the most ball-crushingly hard process that even veteran space marines consider "hard". Unlike other marine chapters however, they're all Psykers and only induct Psykers as recruits from the inquisitorial "Black Ships", which collect Psykers throughout the Imperium for training. They're also the most pure of the Space Marine chapters, every last one of them thinks that Chaos is fucktarded and not a single Knight ever succumbed to Chaotic influences. Even a basic Grey Knight is capable of one shotting a lesser daemon with his force halberd in fluff terms, and a typical nameless Greater Daemon or Daemon prince can be sent shrieking back into the warp with one swing from a Grey Knight Grand Master. But for really big Daemonic threats like the Daemon Primarch Angron and An'ggrath, lots of Grey Knights will be needed to bring down the gribbly warp monster. Unless you are Draigo, who is actually Chuck Norris in terminator armour. Seriously, he carves names into Daemon Primarch's hearts, beats Bloodthirsters barehanded and makes swords out of them. In other words, he's an even bigger and more annoying mary sue than Calgar; God...Motherfucking...Damnit...Ward.

TRUTH

They are given the absolute best equipment the imperium can give, their basic troopers are nearly as well armed as most chapter's terminators, coming with a stormbolter and a force weapon vs a termies storm bolter and power weapon and they have access to the monstrously powerful Psycannon. However, they always prefer fighting at close combat where they can use their force weapons.

The wrath of Ward

Table-top wise, Grey Knights are the optimum commando army, you're normally outnumbered but you are capable of tearing shit up if you lead your troops correctly. In an average 1,000 point match, you'll have 20 models and a land raider. But it's okay, because they kick ass. Plus all of their models subscribe to the Rule of Cool, they're more awesomesauce than regular marines and all their basic weapons are fuckawesome and their units all look really damned cool.

GO GO GREY KNIGHT RANGERS...wait someone forgot to form the head...

Though they are individually more powerful than the Deathwatch of the Ordo Xenos and are both more individually powerful and experienced than the Sisters of Battle of the Ordo Hereticus, they lack the experience and versatility of the Deathwatch who probably also outnumber them somewhat, and are vastly outnumbered by the Sisters of Battle, which keeps a balance of power between the three orders of the inquisition.

Quote from Brother-Captain Stern

They also make fanatical faith in the God-Emprah cool:

"There is nothing in the arcane and blasphemous arsenal of the forces of Chaos that can compare to faith. With the power of faith, our weapons become shining instruments of deliverance that can cleave the mightiest daemon in twain. With the power of faith, our minds appear as slivers of pure agony to the daemon, driving into the wretched forms of those who would dare stand before us. With the power of faith, our words become commands that cause the daemon to cower and cringe in terror. I could meet my enemies unarmed without a shred of fear in my chest, for I know that the Emperor watches over me and guides my hand. So let them come. We shall show them what the power of faith can do."
+++ Captain Stern of the Grey Knights +++

Suddenly Fail

This article or section involves Matthew Ward, Spiritual Liege, who is universally-reviled on /tg/. Because this article or section covers Ward's copious amounts of derp and rage, fans of the 40K series are advised that if they proceed onward, they will see fluff and crunch violation of a level rarely seen.

When the Grey Knights Codex update was announced, there was considerable discussion amongst /tg/; finally, an army that needed it was going to get an update. Anticipation turned to balls-out horror, however, when it was discovered that Matthew "Spiritual Liege" Ward was going to do the codex. Matt was notorious for fucking up the fluff of the Blood Angels (turning them into necrophiliacs) and Space Smurfs (turning them into SECOND TO TEH EMPRAH marines, simultaneously enfuriating those who actually liked the Ultramarines fluff in which they took their lumps but fought on (I.E. the Manly route) and those who already disliked Ultramarines. Virtually all the fluff in the 5th Edition Space Marine codex was for the Ultramarines, with especially strong emphasis placed on shafting any army who told Rawbutt Girlyman to go fuck himself, such as the Raven Guard and Black Templars).

OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK!!!!!

Considering that Matt had placed so much ascended fanboy wankery on the Ultramarines, many, especially on /tg/, were wondering how, exactly, he was intending to handle the fluff of the Grey Knights, who were trained to be the best of the best. The face-palm worthy answer came in the form of leaked information regarding the Codex:

He would handle it exactly like the giant faggot that he is.

Gray Knights now roam around carving their names in the daemon hearts of daemon primarchs - you know, the ones that single-handedly destroyed empires and have ascended to daemonhood. That any man would be capable of this, given that the Warp is the very essence of the Daemonic and ergo their numbers are limitless and their powers inviolate, and the 10+ years of canon regarding just that was completely disregarded - because Matt Ward said so. So they have one guy (who is such a bit of lunacy that 1d4chan has given him his own article) running around the warp, killing Slaanesh's chosen handmaidens, burning down the gardens of Nurgle, and though it wasn't expressly stated in his fluff article, likely figuring out Tzeentch's Infinite Labyrinth. True to all Matt Ward fluff, how Draigo managed to escape going insane from warp exposure, become Slaanesh's buttsex-slave after setting eyes on She who thirsts, being popped like a Zit by Khorne, not catching space daemon AIDS from being in the plaguefather and Mortarion's presence (let alone carving anything on his heart), or simply being drowned in bodies that make his armor/invulnerable saves irrelevant (the usual way to deal with Grey Knights on the tabletop) is never explained. This is Ward we're talking about, and he shows as much grace as black Irish lepers when handling fluff.

Not content to rape canon with just one codex entry, he then made it so that Daemonhosts could be taken by a Grey Knights army. For the uninitiated, this was, again, another slap in the face of 10+ years of canon, since in literally every fucking work put out by Games Workshop, has had them view Daemonhosts as the darkest form of Heresy and dealing with those that harbor them the same way they deal with anything daemonic. Not content to leave well enough alone, they can now work with radical Inquisitors, who, again, now harbor the daemonic in the form of Daemonblades.

Remember the good ol' days?

Then he gave most of the Sisters of Battle special characters to the Grey Knights, such as Lord Krazypantsoff, since - y'know, that army hadn't been brutalized enough for Matt's taste. Which is why he then included the Bloodtide. A Basilicae of the Sisters accidentally release a Bloodthirster of Khorne. Some of the sisters turned bad, some stayed pure, most ended up deprived of blood and skulls. (Part of this is based off a book/movie. Google Bloodtide.) The Grey Knights pop in, see that some of the sisters are pure, and decide to murder them all and paint their armor and swords in their blood in order to better fight the demons. Apparently being turned into fancy armor coating is the new way to treat unpopular elements of the game, rather than tyranids.

He then proceeded to give the Grey Knights an absolutely-ridiculous-looking (and widely mocked by /tg/) walker called a Dreadknight that counts as a monstrous creature, can do a huge personal teleport to get where it needs to be, and which basically is a Grey Knight Terminator hooked into a bigger armor suit - yes, it's every bit as insane and retarded (and broken) as it sounds. As one clever Ultramarines player, fed up with Matt Ward's shit, put it:

"Yo dawg, we heard you like powered armor so we put powered armor in your powered armor so you can go to war while you go to war"

Quite.

Inexplicably, despite the fact that you could snipe the Grey Knight out of the Dreadknight, since apparently armouring the head is for losers, the rules don't display this. Exactly why Ward thinks that bullets are somehow less damaging against the Knight's head when it's put in a suit of armor that mostly covers its body and limbs is a mystery. (Although the codex does say something about there being an invisible shield of ridiculous strength protecting the pilot, without any regard to what kind of implications Super-Strength Force Fields have, simply because Matt Ward wanted to make the DreadKnight look like the Power Loader from Aliens)

Throw in a ton of extra cheese, a commander that out-Creed's Creed (it can Scout more units than Creed can with Tactical Genius) by a sizable margain, throw in a ton of retarded violations of fluff like the aforementioned, and several other bits of flaming stupid (such as the oversight which allows players to take entire armies of Jokaero, which, depending on who you are, could be a bad thing or a funny thing), and you have the new Grey Knights Codex in a nutshell.

The God-Emperor of Mankind wept tears of sorrow at the ruination of his favored sons. And at the same time, tears of rage at the homosexual Ultrasmurf fanboy whom he wishes no less than his eternal torture at the hands of the Inquisition.

Pretty much the only redeeming quality of the book is that it allows the use of viable Inqisitorial-henchmen-only armies. With liberal use of the aforementioned space monkeys, it is now possible to make a fairly fluffy and effective counts-as Mechanicus force. Or at the very least, field your Dark Heresy group on the tabletop.

Of course, in the interim, we still have Khornate Knights to facepalm over.

The Grey Knight's Super Secret Box

Deep within the core of Saturn's moon, Titan, which has been hidden in the Warp during the Horus Heresy, in the heart of the Grey Knights fortress lies a super secret box containing something so super secret that only Supreme Grand Master Kaldor Draigo knows what is inside and nobody else. It is unknown what lies within the box, but it is believed that if it is opened that untold horrors would spill into the material world. But anything could be inside the box, even a piece of string, a secret compartment within the actual secret box that holds one of the deepest and darkest secret of the Imperium that's triggered by pulling a string, or another box that contains another secret box.

Of course, we'll never now since the box will only be opened when "All is lost", ie: the 43rd millenium, when Tyranids finally eat Ultima Segmentum, the Eye or Terror eats Cadia, Yarrick kills Ghazghkull, Macha gets laid, Indrick Boreale is resurrected to speak normally, Abaddon finally does something competent and gets his arms back, and the Primarchs come back just in time for a threesome with 'Nids and Chaos to see who gets the Astronomican.

Basically, Matt Ward read The Sphere and thought he was being clever by putting a Pandora's Box reference in the codex, that or Matt Ward just happened to watch the Super Secret Box episode of Spongebob Squarepants while doing the GK Codex and thought: "why the fuck not?", and thew it in for content's sake. It is also possible that the box contains the remains of Matt Ward himself, and at the moment these remains are released this horrid creature will resurrect, raping the last remaining bits of sanity and awesome left.

Gallery

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  An adequate synopsis of the level of bullshit in the new Grey Knight codex.

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  So, um... WHY IN THE NAME OF BUGGERY WASN'T THIS USED FOR THE DREADKNIGHT MODEL?!?

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  Yes let's all ignore the unique and immensly powerful deamon sword he's holding

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See Also

• The 666 Rituals of Detestation - All Grey Knights initiates must pass these trials before they become a full-fledged battle brother.
• Daemonhunters
• Tactics/Grey Knights

Chaos just can't catch a break these days can it...