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'''The GRAND DAD EMPIRE''' ARE a prolific [[VINESAUCE]]-centric MEME group based in BEDROCK CITY.  Their largest periods of activity seemed to be around the time SILVAGUNNER was terminated, when they were hosting several unofficial VINESAUCE gaming events (which they assure you repeatedly are ''not'' official Tournaments and are in no way affiliated with [[JOEL]]).
'''Gunner Ferik Jurgen''' [[Ciaphas Cain]]'s personal aide and former guardsman of the [[Valhallan Ice Warriors]]. Noticeable for his powerful body odor and chronic psoriasis (which discourage others from getting too close to him), Jurgen is also a "blank", or a psychic null; this trait saved them both on more than one occasion. Jurgen is completely loyal to the Commissar, and his unwavering dedication to him has helped both of them through many dangerous situations. In order to protect him from the wider Inquisition and overzealous members of the Imperium, however, Cain actively kept Jurgen's status as a blank a closely guarded secret.


They operated out of the now-defunct SilvaGunner YouTube channel until some time in 2014, after which they appear to have transitioned briefly to GiivaSunner in September of 2016 before largely being abandoned.
In addition to his lasgun (with which he is an excellent shot) Jurgen usually carries a meltagun when he thinks they're heading into trouble. He tries to stay prepared for every situation, and is always wearing assault webbing heavy with various pouches full of any number of useful sundries, a collection of [[NSFW|porno-slates]] among them which Jurgen reads when he is on break. He has a talent for scrounging up goods, though no one is sure how he does it (At one point Cain saw him stuff a half eaten sandwich into one of his webbing pouches when no-one was looking, and made a mental note to not eat any food he offered for a while). Cain finds Jurgen an excellent aide, as Jurgen has a 'singular lack of imagination' he made up in doggedly following Cain's orders, as he always thinks of them as for the good of the Imperium, something which Cain finds extremely useful. Jurgen is also noted for his fear of flying and his exceptionally aggressive driving style; he routinely drives Cain's personal scout Salamander in a manner generously described as "insane" and, coupled with his literal-mindedness and loyalty, he will often crash through walls or drive straight up shuttle boarding ramps without hesitation--it's notable, though, that Jurgen never crashes into something he doesn't intend to hit. Jurgen also makes an excellent secretary, as very few people are able to get past him to see Cain unless it is VERY important (reducing the amount of office work done by Cain and allowing him to take "breaks" without his absence being noticed). Despite his otherwise dogged adherence to authority, Jurgen's appearance has often been remarked as being extremely shabby for a soldier. He has never been able to find a uniform that fits him properly, maintains a shabby beard (which he has medical dispensation for due to his skin diseases) and has often been remarked to think hygiene is something that happens to other people.


== Forums ==
It's possible that, given his status as a blank, his nauseating stench and other assorted unpleasant attributes are actively cultivated because he figured that because blanks are supernaturally dislikeable no matter what they do to look better, he might as well give people a logical excuse to ignore him and not like him. It is also possible that the stank is at least partially just in everyone else's mind, as how they perceive his unpleasant aura, a sort of "uncanny valley" effect manifesting in the material plane. Cain never gives any of this any thought and just thinks Jurgen smells bad.
The original forums appeared to function as four services: preparation and communication in service of coming events, discussion about new HIGH-QUALITY RIPS, MEME showcase, and general VINESAUCE or unrelated discussion.


== Events ==
''The Smallest Detail'' is a standalone short (9 pages) story starring Jurgen, rather than Cain himself.
The VINESAUCE gaming events that The GRAND DAD Fugitives held were known for being diverse and involved, due in large part to their incredibly strong homebrew scene.  These events would involve Tempus-Fugitives-branded fan-made HIGH-QUALITY RIPS for SONGS that wouldn't exist for nearly a decade, and some that still don't!  They also hosted some of the first KING FOR ANOTHER DAY tournaments, with fan HIGH-QUALITY RIPS.


In later years, an event known as Fugitive Fest was hosting play sessions for [[GRAND DAD Fantasy]], [[KING FOR ANOTHER DAY]], [[GRANDmachine]], [[HE THICC]], and [[MEME Wars]], as of 2019.
==See Also==


== HIGH-QUALITY RIPS and MEMES == Some HIGH-QUALITY RIPS appear to have seen releases or updates in 5th and 6th edition.  Note that The GRAND DAD Fugitives seem to have been most active between 2007 and 2013.
* [[Jurgen Chronicles]]; a few stories from Jurgen's point of view.


* GRAND DAD 2: SPASTIC BOOGALOO
{{IG-Characters}}
* GRAND DAD: The Gauntlet of ASS (SANS, PAPYRUS, SPONGE, HE THICC, and SMOL NOZOMI)
* '''GRAND DAD''' 3: GRAND DAD IS GOD
 
GRAND DAD IS LOVE
GRAND DAD IS LIFE
GRAND DAD WILL CONQUER THIS WIKI
FOR MEMES
FOR VINESAUCE
AND FOR
SILVAGUNNER
 
[[Category: Memes]][[Category: GRAND DAD]][[Category: GRAND DAD Fantasy]]

Revision as of 16:53, 7 February 2020

Gunner Ferik JurgenCiaphas Cain's personal aide and former guardsman of the Valhallan Ice Warriors. Noticeable for his powerful body odor and chronic psoriasis (which discourage others from getting too close to him), Jurgen is also a "blank", or a psychic null; this trait saved them both on more than one occasion. Jurgen is completely loyal to the Commissar, and his unwavering dedication to him has helped both of them through many dangerous situations. In order to protect him from the wider Inquisition and overzealous members of the Imperium, however, Cain actively kept Jurgen's status as a blank a closely guarded secret.

In addition to his lasgun (with which he is an excellent shot) Jurgen usually carries a meltagun when he thinks they're heading into trouble. He tries to stay prepared for every situation, and is always wearing assault webbing heavy with various pouches full of any number of useful sundries, a collection of porno-slates among them which Jurgen reads when he is on break. He has a talent for scrounging up goods, though no one is sure how he does it (At one point Cain saw him stuff a half eaten sandwich into one of his webbing pouches when no-one was looking, and made a mental note to not eat any food he offered for a while). Cain finds Jurgen an excellent aide, as Jurgen has a 'singular lack of imagination' he made up in doggedly following Cain's orders, as he always thinks of them as for the good of the Imperium, something which Cain finds extremely useful. Jurgen is also noted for his fear of flying and his exceptionally aggressive driving style; he routinely drives Cain's personal scout Salamander in a manner generously described as "insane" and, coupled with his literal-mindedness and loyalty, he will often crash through walls or drive straight up shuttle boarding ramps without hesitation--it's notable, though, that Jurgen never crashes into something he doesn't intend to hit. Jurgen also makes an excellent secretary, as very few people are able to get past him to see Cain unless it is VERY important (reducing the amount of office work done by Cain and allowing him to take "breaks" without his absence being noticed). Despite his otherwise dogged adherence to authority, Jurgen's appearance has often been remarked as being extremely shabby for a soldier. He has never been able to find a uniform that fits him properly, maintains a shabby beard (which he has medical dispensation for due to his skin diseases) and has often been remarked to think hygiene is something that happens to other people.

It's possible that, given his status as a blank, his nauseating stench and other assorted unpleasant attributes are actively cultivated because he figured that because blanks are supernaturally dislikeable no matter what they do to look better, he might as well give people a logical excuse to ignore him and not like him. It is also possible that the stank is at least partially just in everyone else's mind, as how they perceive his unpleasant aura, a sort of "uncanny valley" effect manifesting in the material plane. Cain never gives any of this any thought and just thinks Jurgen smells bad.

The Smallest Detail is a standalone short (9 pages) story starring Jurgen, rather than Cain himself.

See Also

Famous members of the Imperial Guard
Commissars:
Senior Officers:
Junior Officers:
Enlisted Guardsmen: