Lizardmen

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Overview

In Warhammer Fantasy Lizardmen are a Aztec/Inca like civilization of Chaos-hating reptile-like creatures that live in the Warhammer Fantasy universe's analogue to South America.

They are ruled by the bastard offspring of Jabba the Hut and a frog, also know as Slann. The Slann were subcontractors of the Old Ones, who fled from a parallel universe because they where exterminated by Terminator wannabes and jellyfishes of doom, and decided to build a new world for later fuck up it as they always do thanks to their hippie culture.

The Slann were so fucking lazy they demanded some extra help, and the Old Ones created the skinks, the saurus and the kroxigors, using some Chuck Norris essence in the process, because no matter how small a lizardman can be, he or she will obliterate your scrotum with a wood stick with pointy obsidian rocks. They hate furs(but they are scaliefags), emo elves and pirate zombies, loving to feed their snake pets with Skaven bitches and smashing rotted imitators of Jack Sparrow when they are bored, also their cities have a shitload of gold and when not feel in the mood usually contract merc Estalian and Tilean guys for do the dirty job. They are also well known friends of tomb kings and Grandpa Dreadnought with their get the hell off my lawn policies.

People like to draw them raping amazons [does require photo evidence].

With the new magic rules they went from being one of the least popular armies, to raping enemy wizards, half the opposing army and still having enough dice left to throw out a fuck load more spells in the first turn. Seriously, Lizardmen have the Most Broken Magic items. One of them lets the user put the negative effect of a miscast onto an enemy Wizard, considering this includes creating a blackhole that rapes all reality, you can literally fuck up a roll and throw one of the nastiest game mechanics ever statted out in tabletop gaming into the middle of the other guys army! They also have the Black Cube which dispels magic spells like a normal Dispel scroll, only it has a 50% chance of cancelling the other guy's entire magic phase!

TL;DR Fucking Toad Wizards Troll players who ain't Lizardmen

They are made of awesome and rape. In that order.

Units

Almost all Lizardmen units benefit from both of these two awesome special rules:

• Cold-Blooded: Units can reroll Leadership tests! EVERYONE HAS THIS!
• Scaly Skin: Most have the 5+ version, but a few have 4+, Skinks don't get this.

Core

• Skinks: Cheap spammable light infantry, they can either be equipped with Blowpipes with a hand weapon, or for the cost of 1 point they can take javelins and a shield. Blowpipes are the best offer as it out-ranges the javelins and blowpipes shoot twice. Note that both weapons are quite short-ranged and for a unit that is so weak in close combat the extra shots at something about to charge it helps greatly in actually hurting the target. Kroxigors can be taken in the second rank of the unit and are allowed to attack over the front rank of Skinks, this gets some heavy hitters in there, but overall its not a good place to put these thugs. Despite weak leadership and terrible toughness, they can be surprisingly effective against non-elite infantry and cavalry, for a single turn, but overall as a ranked unit Skinks are shit for shooting as they lack range and are crap in close combat because they no longer get poisoned attacks, leading to the unit just being bad for anything, especially when we look at the next entry.

• • Skink Skimirshers: On the other hand, as a skirmishing unit at minimum size with blowpipes Skinks can be great for kiting enemy units and being a thorn in the side of your opponent. Put simply if the Skink Skirmishers manage to inflict wounds on any unit, your opponent will be compelled to either direct missile fire or magic at the unit, commit a unit to engage it in combat or try to ignore the damage they're doing. The first option of spells or shooting is bad because all damage spells and all shooting units do overkill against the skinks making it a waste of resources when other more dangerous units are unharmed. The second option is bad for your opponent because most close combat units are significantly more costly then the skinks and would be much better suited to stopping/slowing Saurus bricks from crushing through the battlefield, this gets worse if the skinks are able to shoot at the unit prior to the combat and inflict wounds, with cheap units like Skaven clanrats this is less of an issue except that large clanrat units should not chase down less than a dozen skinks and no one fields these units at a size that is equivalent to the value of the skink unit which would be 10-12 Clanrats. With elite units the problem is exaggerated because any damage done by the Skinks is needless, most elite units are costed close to 30 points a model which means that more then 2 casualties from the Skinks shooting is a lose-lose tradeoff for both players. Ignoring the Skinks as some players do is again stupid because that leaves the unit free to pick off other skirmishers, warmachine crews and chiselling off wounds from important units that are out of combat. In summary Skink Skirmishers are a suicide unit that forces bad tradeoffs; they'll die if they're ever attacked by something, but its a lose-lose situation in combat and in the wider context of the battle leads to the opponent being inefficient with their units.

• Saurus Warriors: What. The. Fuck? Scaly Skin + Shields, Spears, 2 Base attacks, Cold Blooded and S, WS & T of 4!?! While the unit has some good stats for a hand-to-hand unit, their bad initiative will ensure that they won't leave combats unscathed, and their cost for each model plus the spears is more expensive then other factions equivalent basic troops. These two key issues are mostly irrelevant though because Saurus Warriors are the best fucking brick infantry in the game. Chaos Warriors may have more advantages, but they cost more and other factions don't possess any units as cheap as this one that can beat it down in combat the way it crushes other units. Units that are engaged with Saurus warriors and get flank charged another unit of Saurus might as well be removed from table as Saurus warriors either crush a unit and break it in the combat phase, or you end up with this slow grinding combat that leaves either half a unit of Saurus warriors or only a couple of the enemy unit's models. It can theoretically tarpit any infantry unit but Dragon-Ogres and the like will probably have a win with some damage sustained. Overall not taking a Saurus unit or two is sign that the army isn't intended for anything other than giving the other guy an easy, very easy win.

• Reptile Swarms: No. Just No. If you have the perfect list and there is a point gap large enough to fill with a Swarm but too small to fit a Skink Skirmisher unit, cut something and take the Skinks! Being at similar costs the Skink Skirmishers are always the better option to take because they can... well reread that entry above.

Special

• Temple Guard: See those Saurus Warriors above? Add Light Armour to them and the option take Halberds. That plus some stat boosts. Plus these guys when combined with a Slann Mage-Priest acting as the BSB have access to some great buffs not including whatever spells and magic items the Slann takes. TG are easily a must-have if you have a Slann in your army, and a definitely worth taking even if you don't have a one. They cost a lot more then the Saurus warriors, but honestly these guys are fucking A! Nothing fights this unit without taking horrible damage. Nothing. The unit won't break if it has Slann, and if that is the BSB you pretty much get this rock solid blob of fuck you in the centre of your army that you're opponent will not break and all units around it get the boost of Cold-Blooded, the Slann's Leadership, the buffs from the BSB etc... Honest to god if you see a Lizardmen player in a tournament with Slann but not this unit have the TO kick this shit out for epic levels of retardedness!

• Cold One Cavalry: Nice heavy cavalry option for the Lizardmen, the riders are Saurus so copypasta the Saurus warrior stuff over here. Albeit they don't benefit from the spears as much because cavalry spears are +1 S instead of +1 A, but still the unit is great, good for a "Hammer and Anvil" combo with Saurus Warriors and its fucking amazing if you do it with a Temple Guard unit. Nerfed with 8th editions anti-cavalry attitude, but still a fast hard hitting unit in an otherwise slow and steady or fast and weak faction. Not an essential buy like other Saurus units, but a unit of 6 with a Musician is a cost-effective way to bring fast moving pain to the table. Multiple units can tagteam effectively, but at the cost your army's overall size. Kroq-Gar can make 1 unit Core. Its still good despite 8th edition, but its not the sledgehammer it used to be. Also DINOSAWZ

• Terradon Riders: Excellent for harassment tactics, hunting warmachine crews, solo models and skirmishers. The ability to drop rocks onto an enemy unit is handy for softening up something tough before the Saurus or TG lay the smackdown on it. The Arboreal Predators rule used to make it better then any hippie Wood Elf flyer because none of them could fly unhindered through trees, but this will probably change. Not the best unit in straight up combat but because the riders are Skinks with their poison attacks expect them to be effective at wounding. Nice, slightly overcosted, but good at doing their job. Also DINOSAWZ!

• Chameleon Skinks: The Little Reptiles That Could. Costing, being Special and simply being more of the same doesn't help Chameleon Skinks when compared to Skink Skirmishers. Thats not to say they're terrible, its just that while they do the same job but a lot more effectively they take up space and points that are needed to a lot of the other more expensive units. In an all Skink list or any list they will earn their place but if you're choosing between these guys and any of the other Specials you will always do better with the others. They have a special character that isn't really worth mentioning, unless GW gives him the ability to make Chameleon Skinks are Core unit don't expect to see him or the unit much.

• Stegadon: Fuck Me. Its a bolt-thrower mounted on a DINOSAUR! This unit is fucking fun, but also effective, put simply its a two-in-one package, you get a bolt-thrower that can move and shoot, even when in combat, and a big monster that can crush things under its... paws? Crewed by Skinks because you need a BS above 0 to fire anything, its AWESOME. It can shoot while in close combat, meaning you can either fuck up whatever is about to get crushed, or you can fire at other units as a way to say "COME GET SOME BITCHES!". Also it can be taken as a mount by a Skink Chief who can then take the Stegadon Warspear to ensure it does a horrible amount of damage when it charges. Its pretty good, but its defences are a little weak for such a massive fire magnet. A good choice and a fun one, every time.

Rare

• Ancient Stegadon: You thought the above was awesome, this guy is tougher, hits harder in combat and does 4D6 blowpipe shots, again it can do this in combat. Again you will see infantry die with this angry old bastard. Then there is the special version mounted by Skink Priests...

• Engine of the Gods: I'm putting this here because its basically an Ancient Stegadon with an upgrade that requires a Wizard. The EotG or "THAT FUCKING CHEESE SHIT" was broken until 8th edition's rules for army structure came round. Basically it had 3 things it could do, a ward save bubble for all allied units within a radius from any ranged and/or magic spell or magic attack from outside of the bubble, boosting the Skink Priest so he can gain power dice as if he were a higher level and finally one of the coolest things ever a Magic Pulse that does random hits to all enemies in range of it Strength 4 for normal units, but Undead and Daemons take Strengh 5 hits. Lists with 2 of these things below 2,000 points were universally reviled in the tournament scene because they would break most armies in 2-3 turns. The new point percentage per slot type rule prevents you from seeing this ever again. Great broken cheesey thing that should be taken when you can.