Lizardmen

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The Lizardmen are a faction in Warhammer Fantasy Battles. They are a race of Aztec/Inca-like, Chaos-hating, reptillian creatures that live in Lustria, the Warhammer World's analogue to South America.

History

Way back when the Old Ones entered the world, they decided they'd need some extra help in messing this world up guiding this world to its destiny. So, they created the first of the Lizardmen, the Slann. The Slann are obese but highly-magical frog-men that spend most of their days sitting around meditating. The Old Ones, realizing the Slann wouldn't be useful for much when it came to manual labor, then created the rest of the Lizardmen, including the Saurus, Skinks, and Kroxigor. They then left the Lizardmen to make some pointy-eared faggots, awesome-but-cliche dwarfs, and humans.

However, the Fall of the Eldar then happe-- wait a minute, wrong universe. The dimensional gate the Old Ones had come through collapsed, crashing into the north of the Warhammer World and opening a portal to the Warp Realm of Chaos. The Lizardmen and Elves had to team up to defeat the Daemons that started pouring through the portal. Eventually the Elves managed to redirect the flow of magic into a portal at the center of the island home, Ulthuan, but not before much awesomeness on the part of the Lizardmen.

They hate furs(but they are scaliefags), emo elves and pirate zombies, loving to feed their snake pets with Skaven bitches and smashing rotted imitators of Jack Sparrow when they are bored, also their cities have a shitload of gold and when not feel in the mood usually contract merc Estalian and Tilean guys for do the dirty job. They are also well known friends of tomb kings and Grandpa Dreadnought with their get the hell off my lawn policies. Though they suck at this policy because the Warriors of Chaos have built up a fucking raiding town in their country and spend their time slaughtering their outposts and cities and stealing their lizard mounts. So, in short, they get their asses kicked by the Warriors of Chaos, but that's okay because the Warriors of Chaos are motherfucking Vikings. Honestly they only care about the endothermic fucks stealing their plaques. They don't give a shit about settlements, just that they don't touch anything. Which the Vikings have figured out, and thus don't get buttfucked every time they do something. Also, Dinosaurs > Vikings.

Currently they have set up a colony in the Warhammer World's analoge to England.

People like to draw them raping amazons [does NOT require photo evidence].

Subspecies

Unlike most of the races in WFB, Lizardmen are actually divided into a number of distinct subspecies, each with a different role in Lizzie society.

Slann

The Slann are the obese, magic frogs we were talking about above. They're among the most powerful wizards in the entirety of the Warhammer World. In previous Lizardmen army books, they had a more active role in leading the species, but apparently they are now more sleepy. Also, there are no longer any more Slaan being spawned, so the ones a alive are part of a dieing species... welp, grimdark.

Saurus

Saurus are the main footsoldiers of the Lizardmen and, by and large, the "face" of the army. A "face" that could rip a man in half for instance. They may seem slow and dimwitted, but don't let that fool you, its not that they are dumb, they just only care about warfare.

• Temple Guard: A elite group of spawned to instinctively guard the temples and Slann, their spawning as ingrained this purpose so much they've been know to kill a Skink helper just because he looked at a Slann funny.

Skinks

Skinks are the smallest type of Lizardmen. They act as the administrators and artisans of Lizardmen society. Despite their small size (roughly the same as a Goblin), Skinks can be a formidable military force, as they have highly-accurate, poisoned blowpipes. They are also the caretakers for most of the dinosaurs used by the Lizardmen, and thus are Awesome.

Kroxigor

Kroxigor are like Skinks but bigger and dumber; so, in other words, what Ogres are to Halflings (at least in the Warhammer World). They're the main workers and builders of the Lizardmen. In war, they work together with Skinks, forming units termed "Skrox" by the fans.

DINOSAWZ

Lizardmen are also known for their use of dinosaurs found on their native continent of Lustria. Thus they have the best monsters and cavalry period. Dinosaurs bitch. Like fucking Jurassic Park.

Stegadons

Probably the most well known dinosaur used by the Lizardmen, this stubborn, motherfucking Triceratops hits like a freight train and can trample all who oppose the Lizardmen underneath his... uh... paws. They usually carry Howdahs on their back which include a Skink crew, and a FUCKHUEG bow. As the stegadons age, their tempers cool and they will be able to carry either 2 massive blowpipes which fire buckets of dice, or a mystical Engine of the Gods that can buff, or shoot lightning bolts like a tesla coil. Strangely, it seems to be named after a Stegosaurus when it seems more similar to a Triceratops mixed with an Ankylosaurus.

Carnosaurs

RIP AND TEAR This guy is based on large, awesome, therapod dinosaurs like Tyrannosaurus, Spinosaurus, and Allosaurus and can rip the throats out of Dragons. Only the beardliest of Saurus can ride them, as even the babies can rip a human in half. Also, they spill blood in the name of the Old-ones and don't give a shit about that pushover Khorne faggot. If you field one or more of these in your army, make sure you play the song "I'm a motherfucking T-rex!"

Bastiladons

The Lustrian equivalent of Ankylosaurus, the walking tank of dinosaurs, and the first recipient of a 2+ Scaly Skin save. Even a big Dragon, T-rex (ahem, CARNOSAUR), or Greater Daemon sometimes struggle to get through.

Cold Ones

Not to be confused with the Old Ones, Cold Ones are basically velociraptors-like animals that are used as cavalry. They are also used by the emo, faggot Dark Elves, who have much cooler Cold Ones. The official, in-universe explanation for this discrepancy is that the two types are related-but-distinct breeds of Cold One; the cool ones are native to Naggaroth and based off of irl Velociraptors, whereas the derpy ones are native to Lustria and based off of Spinosauroids. But mostly this is due to Games Workshop being too lazy to update old models.

See Also

• Tactics/Lizardmen

Gallery

<gallery> File:FUCK YOU CHAOS.jpg|Play Lizards. Or I'll cut you. File:Slann and their Magical Force Fields.jpg|Slann are the only Wizards that can go one-to-one against a Lord of Change.