Sisters of Battle

This article contains PROMOTIONS! Don't say we didn't warn you.

Space Marine Guideline 1: Thou shalt not refer to the Adepta Sororitas as "Bolter Bitches," nor shalt thou go anywhere near our sisters during the time of their "Red Rage," lest thou wishes to be the first human to enter orbit without the aid of a shuttle.

What? U MAD SPESS MAHREEN?

Sisters of Battle are essentially Warhammer 40k's female equivalent of Space Marines, and are warriors devoted to the Emprah. Although they lack the genetic modification of their beefier brethren, they also wear power armour and are armed mainly with the ubiquitous Bolter. The Sisters of Battle are also known as the "Daughters of the Emperor", and officially as the "Adepta Sororitas", though the Adepta Sororitas refers to their entire organization, while the term Sisters of Battle refers only to their militant branch. They are more colloquially known by players as "Bolter-bitches" or "Nuns with guns".

Overview

The Sisters of Battle are part of the Ecclesiarchy, the religious arm of Imperial government, and often work closely with the Inquisition. They have somewhat of an obsession with the purifying effects of flame, and generally choose equipment that allows them to cover their enemies with as much holy promethium as possible. This philosophy is most obviously exemplified by the Immolator tank, essentially a rolling METAL BOXES with giant flamethrowers or multi-meltas stuck on it.

They also own a giant mobile organ that sprays missiles like a garden hose, yep they do some missile spam too.

The Sisters may or may not be giant pedophiles. They also may or may not be flaming lesbians (Insert Rimshot Here).

Though they are technically a part of the Ecclesiarchy and not the Inquisition, they are more or less the chamber militant of the Ordo Hereticus, much like how the Grey Knights are technically an independent chapter but work with the Ordo Malleus so much that they are more or less its chamber militant.

When compared to the Extremely Experienced and specialized Deathwatch and the Extremely well equipped and Psychic Grey Knights, the Sisters of battle are quite clearly inferior in virtually every way on an individual basis. However, while there are only 3-5,000 or so Grey Knights (strike that, Ward retconned 3/4ths of them out of existence fuck you we're not acknowledging Ward's stupidity who cares what Ward says, it's probably like 10,000+ at this point given everyone and their dog has a GK army) and an unknown number of Death Watch Space Marines (probably 10,000 or so), there are millions or perhaps tens of millions of Sisters of Battle.

This in addition to the numbers of inquisitorial stormtroopers keeps a firm balance of power between the three branches of the Inquisition as well as between the Departmento Munitorum, The Imperial Navy, the Inquisition, the Adeptus Arbites, the Adeptus Mechanicus, the Adeptus Astartes, the Officio Assassinorum, and the Ecclesiarchy as none of the armed orders of the Imperium are able to defeat another.

Sisters Snuff

In 1997 when the Necrons were launched Games Workshop demonstrated the Necrons' awesomeness by having them exterminate a whole convent of Sisters (Sanctuary 101). Games Workshop liked the result so much that they decided the Sisters of Battle should get slaughtered all the time. Unless they are falling to Chaos, obviously. It's notable that the Sisters of Battle tend to get killed and mutilated repeatedly when Matt Ward writes fluff, leading many to ask uncomfortable questions regarding Ward's sexual deviancy that nobody really wants the answers to.

Fa/tg/uys masturbate furiously to fanfics of Sisters engaging in bdsm fetish sex with the likes of servitors, children, Schola Progenium cadets, or even the likes of Nurgle.

Note that all of the below actually fucking happened. Some highlights include:

• A whole Order turned to Chaos by one SlaaneshiKeeper of Secrets.
• A whole Order Mind Controlled by one chaos Psyker. Fucking Goto.
• A strike force of Celestians and an Inquisitor being killed, cannibalized, and sacrificed by the Sons of Malice Astartes chapter for disturbing their victory rites and falsely accusing the chapter of heresy. (Imperium does nothing... Apart from declaring the Sons of Malice to be heretics anyway.)
• A whole Commandery being killed by Flesh Tearers Astartes chapter (who were eating allied militia at the time). (Imperium does nothing.)
• Three whole Orders killed by the Space Wolves Astartes chapter when they try to inquire about that ship full of unarmed priests the Space Wolves shot down earlier. (Imperium, again, does nothing.)
• 99% of sisters in the galaxy vanishing due to to a retcon in the two whole paragraphs of fluff given them by the 5e rulebook. Considered by most to be proof of what was to come, considering the clown-car that is the current Sisters of Battle army on tabletop.
• A whole shrine-world of Sisters killed by Chaos Dreadnought. Said dread shrugs off meltas, meltabombs and multiple Exorcist volleys, a Living Saint even gives up her divinity to stop it, and fails. It's destroyed instantly when a Marine throws a hammer at it. We are not making this shit up.
• An entire Order of Sisters of the Order of the Sacred Rose dying and ultimately destroying their base and everyone in it, who were sent to the Kaurava Campaign and killed by Vance Motherfucking Stubbs after they refused to fuck off. Unlike the majority of the entries on this list, the Sisters led a valiant defense action, crippling the Imperial Guard forces for weeks and hamstringing the Imperium's campaign to reclaim the worlds of the Kaurava system.
• An entire convent of Sisters killed by Grey Knights, their bodies violated and their blood applied to the Grey Knights' armor, so the Grey Knights can be immune to demonic corruption, even though they were already immune to all forms of demonic corruption, due to the fact that they are the Imperium's daemon killers. See also: Khornate Knights. Alternatively, this can be viewed as a middle finger at the feminists. God-Emperor knows that those are nothing but trouble.
• Necron Lord Trazyn the Infinite keeps the head of Sebastian Thor mounted on his wall like a Deer Trophy. God damn it, Ward.

The Sudden Yet Inevitable Betrayal

The reaction of Sisters and SoB players everywhere to the codex update.

This article or section involves Matthew Ward, Spiritual Liege, who is universally-reviled on /tg/. Because this article or section covers Ward's copious amounts of derp and rage, fans of the 40K series are advised that if they proceed onward, they will see fluff and crunch violation of a level rarely seen.

As of August 1, 2011 it seems Games Workshop finally decided to attempt to "revamp" the Sisters of Battle, much to the aggravation of about two thirds of the entire Witch Hunters playerbase. It's by no means a horrible update; initial worries on /tg/ suggested it to be akin to a biblical plague in terms of disaster-level, when in truth it's simply sub-average. The Codex Update is had it's fluff written by your SPIRITUAL LIEGE, which shocked and confused /tg/ as it wasn't full of misogynist bullshit. In spite of this, it's squarely in-level with another bad codex update, because the rules where clearly written by committee.

For starters, gone are the various special characters that got gobbled up by the Grey Knights codex update, like Inquisitor Valeria. The Sisters have many of their own special characters now, but a lot of the classics, like Lord Krazypantzoff, are gone now since they're now part of the Grey Knights army list. Immolators took a nasty nerf-bat to the face (they can't fire on the move and have no firepoints now, which makes them basically more-cost-effective Razorback Transports now). Who would have thought that Games Workshop would update an army by nerfing the one model every player had a couple of so that they all have to go out and buy new models?

Inquisitorial Stormtroopers are gone as well, and Faith is now randomized, which means that it's much harder to manage in big games. Faith is now, functionally, a game of roulette, with randomized dice rolls deciding how much (if anything at all) you get. Sisters now all have very specific faith powers on a by-squad basis now, and whilst several are powerful, the breakdown means you actually have to vary up your units if you want more variety in them, and they share a pool so the Sisters are pretty much only viable in low-point-count games.

Heavy armor in an update? We fucking wish.

Sadly, things were muddled by a spree of fake releases as part of an April Fool's Prank. Original reports of genuinely useful units to offset the loss of the Stormtroopers and inducted forces thus turned out to be false. As of thus far, there's been no reports of new units - so in other words, about a third of the Sisters' armory is now gone without being replaced by anything. The new special characters reportedly are nothing worth getting excited over.

The Sisters carry over a number of Grey Knight units as well, including Death-Cult Assassins, Arco-Flagellants, and Crusaders. There was talk of a new heavy transport/assault vehicle called the Repressor (see image above), but it turned out to be part of the same fucking April Fool's Prank and is still Forgeworld-only (which sucks because it would be an improvement). Sisters Repentia were originally purportedly nerfed, but in the end the Repentia now are vastly better, boasting Feel No Pain, a 6+ armor save, Fleet, and double their original number of attacks with a faith act to do more on death - meaning they stand a good chance of fucking up a lot of units they wouldn't before now... So now instead of paying ridiculous prices for a sick joke, you're just paying ridiculous prices for a suicide squad. At least they'll rape shit while they're there now. Progress!

The biggest kick in the cunt for the Sisters, aside from the obvious loss of utility units, was the loss of ally rules and inducted unit rules. One of the biggest advantages the Sisters had was the ability to, courtesy of the Ordo Hereticus, requisition allied forces. A time-honored method of getting around the relatively weak Sisters of Battle vehicular lineup was to take some Inducted Guardsmen for a Leman Russ or two, or Space Marines for a Predator. The loss of Inquisitors also came with the loss of Land Raiders as dedicated transports, which was another stab at their vehicular capabilities.

On the plus side, the fluff was very clearly not written by the blessed one either, since the Sisters in it are portrayed as completely badass, fighting off a Daemonic incursion by themselves without ever needing the Grey Knights to butcher them and turn them into armor paint. One can only imagine how the development meeting for this codex went - because most of /tg/ argues that it had to be hilarious.

BREAKING NEWS

Come on guys, she's got sisters to feed.

One year on things are looking slightly up. A leaked and subsequently corroborated release schedule shows a small but significant oasis of new sisters minis amidst the endless wasteland of ultramarine releases. It includes most of the sisters force org as well as some new faces such as Prioress Lazarea Verat and Sister Superior Magdalenia. The sisters have also been retained for 6Es new ally rules, giving them a place in other armies. While its too early to say whether this heralds the coming of a real codex, its a precious hopeful sign for the most fucked over army in 40k. All we can do is pray to the Emprah, because if this shit gets shelved for another release cycle the sisters will most likely end up getting melted into pewter bars.

Tactics

The Sisters of Battle employ a costly yet simple tactic whenever they're called out for battle:

1.Bring thousands of sexually deprived Sisters of Battle into the field.
2.Arm them all with Melta and flame-based weapons.
3.Tell them they can shlick to the image of the Emperor if they triumph over the foul enemies of the Imperium. HERESY. *BLAM*
4.Set them loose.
5.If they do win, all remaining Imperial troops, save for the SoBs, are ordered off the field.
6.No other accounts can be heard of, as remembrancers and all other Imperial journalists are sworn to an oath of silence on whatever events transpired.
7.????
8.Profit.

(Yes we do have a real tactica, its here.)

See Also

• Sisters of Cleaning - a /tg/ created order.
• Sister Hospitaler - a non-militant Sister.
• The Times and Trials of Klightus; a love story about a shy Guardsman and a Sister of Battle.
• The Steadfast Pewter Sororitas - a sad story about what happens to those metal Sisters that don't get bought.

External Links

• suptg archive about Sisters of Battle and pedophilia.
• FOR THE IMPERIUM! Hey, there's no rule saying that warrior space nuns can't be badass.

Costume Gallery

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  Sister Shoju

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  The Japanese are beating us to the punch.

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Gallery

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  They aren't actually this cute.

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  Love Can Bl-- wait.

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  Can't read my, Can't read my, No he cannot read my Purging Face (She's got no one to spare)

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  There are not too many men in Adepta Sororitas so they have to improvise.

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  dum dum dum... dummmm

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  Sisters Repentia are supposed to repent.

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  Not that they are fanatical about it.

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  Cum my sisters!

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  OMNOMNOMNOM

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  Post whenever you need to make a fa/tg/uy rage that he doesn't understand the role and jurisdiction of Commissars.

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  GENESTEALERS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY. *But they should*

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  Sorry Mario, but your Heresy is in another castle

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  Sister in deep trouble.

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  Grimdark meets Hot Chicks.

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  Sisters love delicious xeno shota.

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  The lesser known loli chapter.

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  moar

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  Yes We Can

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  Are we this desperate for recruits?

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  Some day we too will receive an utterly broken codex update, and when we do this image will be faithfully waiting for you.

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  A sister who isn't being murdered or worshipping slaanesh what is this I don't even.

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  You don't want to see her tsun side.

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  NO THATS STUPID NO NO NO.

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  Problems heretics?