Star Trek: Difference between revisions

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(Forgot... Skub and other things...)
(Should be enough shitshining for the night.)
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== [[Star Trek IX]] (2009 [[skub|movie]]) ==
== [[Star Trek IX]] (2009 [[skub|movie]]) ==
There are two sides to every [[skub|story]], and when you can't compromise you can see [[skub|two]] [[skub|completely]] [[skub|different]] [[skub|views]] [[skub|of]] [[skub|the]] [[skub|same]] [[skub|goddamn]] [[skub|thing]]. What we need is compromise. What we have is [[skub|well...]] To get things straight, people either [[skub|love]] or [[skub|hate]] this movie for what [[skub|it]] [[skub|is]] and [[skub|it]] can be [[skub|summarized]] in two paragraphs:
There are two sides to every [[shit twinkie|story]], and when you can't [[gets shit done|compromise]] you can see [[skub|two]] [[skub|completely]] [[skub|different]] [[skub|views]] [[skub|of]] [[skub|the]] [[skub|same]] [[skub|goddamn]] [[skub|thing]]. What we need is compromise. What we have is [[skub|well...]] To get things straight, people either [[skub|love]] or [[skub|hate]] this movie for what [[skub|it]] [[skub|is]] and [[skub|it]] can be [[skub|summarized]] in two paragraphs:


'''Trekkie Hipsters think''': This was given to be a total revamp of the entire Star Trek universe, a modernization that would invite new generations of Trekkers to the fold. It resulted in one of the largest [[nerdrage]] controversies in the history of Sci-fi, with [[Matt Ward|J.J. Abrams]] labeled as a total [[Matt Ward|fucktard]] for effectively ignoring 45 years of Star Trek history. Set in the timeline of the 'The Original Series', it adds flashy, sexy, lens-flare faggotry to the aging Star Trek universe. Featuring a newly redesigned Enterprise that looks like it was [[shit twinkie|built by Apple]] and more [[dakka|action]] than an entire season of TOS, it did indeed win new fans over. It also, to be fair, pissed off a lot of the old fans, but let's be honest: they could have remade Wrath of Khan shot for shot and [[neckbeard|old fans]] would have been pissed off about something.
'''Trekkie Hipsters think''': This was given to be a total revamp of the entire Star Trek universe, a modernization that would invite new generations of Trekkers to the fold. It resulted in one of the largest [[nerdrage]] controversies in the history of Sci-fi, with [[Matt Ward|J.J. Abrams]] labeled as a total [[Matt Ward|fucktard]] for effectively [[retcon|ignoring 45 years]] of Star Trek [[canon|history]]. Set in the timeline of the 'The Original Series', it adds flashy, sexy, lens-flare [[fag|faggotry]] to the aging Star Trek [[fluff|universe]]. Featuring a newly redesigned Enterprise that looks like it was [[shit twinkie|built by Apple]] and more [[dakka|action]] than an entire season of TOS, it did indeed win new fans over. It also, to be fair, pissed off a lot of the old fans, but let's be honest: they could have remade Wrath of Khan shot for shot and [[neckbeard|old fans]] would have been pissed off about something.


'''Trekkie Fanboys think''': This was given to be a total revamp of the entire Star Trek universe, a modernization that would invite new generations of Trekkers to the fold. It resulted in one of the largest [[nerdrage]] controversies in the history of Sci-fi, with [[Matt Ward|J.J. Abrams]] labeled as a total [[Matt Ward|fucktard]] for effectively deleting 45 years of Star Trek history. Set in the timeline of the 'The Original Series' (where good ol' Abrams could do the most damage), it adds flashy, sexy, lens-flare faggotry to the aging Gene Roddenberry Star Trek universe. Featuring a newly redesign so-totally-Not-phallic ship (the Enterprise), and proceeds to [[Poison'd|butcher]] [[FATAL|and]] [[rape]] Star Trek fluff from there.
'''Trekkie Fanboys think''': This was given to be a total revamp of the entire Star Trek universe, a modernization that would invite new generations of Trekkers to the fold. It resulted in one of the largest [[nerdrage]] controversies in the history of Sci-fi, with [[Matt Ward|J.J. Abrams]] labeled as a total [[Matt Ward|fucktard]] for effectively [[retcon|deleting 45 years]] of Star Trek [[canon|history]]. Set in the timeline of the 'The Original Series' (where good ol' Abrams could do the most damage), it adds flashy, sexy, lens-flare [[fag|faggotry]] to the aging Gene Roddenberry Star Trek [[fluff|universe]]. Featuring a newly redesigned [[slipshine|so-totally-Not-phallic]] ship (the Enterprise), and proceeds to [[Poison'd|butcher]] [[FATAL|and]] [[rape]] Star Trek fluff from there.


[[category: television]]
[[category: television]]

Revision as of 06:32, 20 November 2011

Star Trek is one of the classic nerd interests, with over 40 years of Geek history that span several generations, and is the longest running Sci-fi franchise...Ever. If you are a nerd (And you are, otherwise why the fuck would you be on this site?) you are at least somewhat familiar with Star Trek. But then, you may have stumbled across this page by accident somehow, so here's the York Notes on Star Trek.

The Original Series

"Wagon Train to the stars". Created in 1966 (yea, wow) by legendary sci-fi god Gene Roddenberry, it's a Pulpy adventure sci-fi, with fist-fights and gunfights and occasionally sword-fights. The Original Series isn't deep, folks. It's good, hammy fun, monster-of-the-week type stuff. The USS Enterprise is tasked by the Federation to seek out new worlds and boldly go where no man has gone before. James T. Kirk is the captain, and he fucks and fights his way to victory. Mr. Spock is cold and logical, Dr. McCoy is rash and emotional and Scotty gets shit done.

The Next Generation

Here's where it starts getting a little deeper, and a little darker. The USS Enterprise-D (usually just called Enterprise) is once again tasked with going where no-one has gone before, but this time around the problems are less likely to be solved in a single episode. Jean-Luc Picard is the captain, and he plots and negotiates his way to victory. Mr. Data is cold and unemotional (but he'd like to learn emotions), Riker and Worf have sex and punch things, respectively, and Geordi LaForge gets shit done.

Deep Space Nine

Unlike all the other series so far, Deep Space Nine primarily takes place on a space station - the titular Deep Space Nine, out near the borders of Federation Space. Said space station is near a recently-freed world and a wormhole, so all sorts of crazy shit goes down. It's a lot more political than other series (Though TNG and Voyager have their moments) and the last series to have Gene Roddenberry's involvement.

Voyager

Voyager is...well, it's controversial. Many people say it's the worst series, but it has its fans. The USS Voyager gets teleported over to the other side of the galaxy, and the plot of the series as a whole centres on its efforts to get back home. Like TNG and DS9, it's a character-driven drama just as often as it is a sci-fi adventure romp.

Enterprise

This is the closest series to being genuinely, objectively bad. It's a prequel to the rest, taking place on the first enterprise, before the Federation got a lot of shit figured out - so there's a lot of primitive versions of things from other series. At least the uniforms were pretty cool, in an air force sort of way.

So why should I care?

Because between them, these 5 TV series and their assorted spinoff movies, books, etc. provide inspiration for any sci-fi game you could care to run. If you want light-hearted action, look at the sort of things that happened in TOS or DS9 to get the crew into some dangerous situation. If you want a charismatic villain, look at Ghul Dukat or the Borg Queen. If you want moral issues and debates, look at the shit that happened to Voyager. But more than all this Star Trek represents a fallback to a time and mentality that dared to dream of greater ideals and more meaningful pursuits than the standard conquer-the-universe cliches that most genres milk upon. It is in point a polar opposite to the gritty, dark, hopelessness of the Warhammer 40,000 universe.

Star Trek IX (2009 movie)

There are two sides to every story, and when you can't compromise you can see two completely different views of the same goddamn thing. What we need is compromise. What we have is well... To get things straight, people either love or hate this movie for what it is and it can be summarized in two paragraphs:

Trekkie Hipsters think: This was given to be a total revamp of the entire Star Trek universe, a modernization that would invite new generations of Trekkers to the fold. It resulted in one of the largest nerdrage controversies in the history of Sci-fi, with J.J. Abrams labeled as a total fucktard for effectively ignoring 45 years of Star Trek history. Set in the timeline of the 'The Original Series', it adds flashy, sexy, lens-flare faggotry to the aging Star Trek universe. Featuring a newly redesigned Enterprise that looks like it was built by Apple and more action than an entire season of TOS, it did indeed win new fans over. It also, to be fair, pissed off a lot of the old fans, but let's be honest: they could have remade Wrath of Khan shot for shot and old fans would have been pissed off about something.

Trekkie Fanboys think: This was given to be a total revamp of the entire Star Trek universe, a modernization that would invite new generations of Trekkers to the fold. It resulted in one of the largest nerdrage controversies in the history of Sci-fi, with J.J. Abrams labeled as a total fucktard for effectively deleting 45 years of Star Trek history. Set in the timeline of the 'The Original Series' (where good ol' Abrams could do the most damage), it adds flashy, sexy, lens-flare faggotry to the aging Gene Roddenberry Star Trek universe. Featuring a newly redesigned so-totally-Not-phallic ship (the Enterprise), and proceeds to butcher and rape Star Trek fluff from there.