Toof

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The Toof is the standard unit of currency of the Orks. The plural of Toof is Teef, so a rich Ork can be said to have many teef.

If you haven't guessed it already, the Orkish economy is based on teeth (spelled and pronounced "teef" because Orks cannot make a "th" sound). Orks produce teef constantly throughout their lives, and they always have replacements, much like a shark. If an Ork wants more teef, he simply punches a nearby Ork in the face and takes a toof or two. This is a fairly risky proposition unless there is a large difference in size between the two Orks, since an Ork who objects to losing his teef can punch back. Brawls started in this way help keep the Orks collectively strong, since brawls for teef need not be fatal -- or result in the destruction of an entire warband, in any case.

The consistent difficulty in acquiring teef keeps the currency at a steady value: larger teef are more valuable than smaller teef, so fighting Grotz for their teef is generally unproductive, meaning that Orks must generally take on Orks of their own size (or greater) to procure enough teef. They also cannot hoard their teef as they tend to decay after some time, hence, preventing inflation in an Ork band. This also means that stockpiling teef is rarely a good investment, as those teef would just decay before they can be spent. Hence, the only way for an Ork to afford something expensive is to be 'ard enough to bash other Orks and take their teef. This is why bigger Orks are almost consistently better equipped than smaller ones.

Exchange Rates are not well known at this time.

Prices of a few common items

• Squig Pie with Fungus Beer-1 Toof
• Bag of Shoota bullets (roughly forty to sixty)-1 to 3 Teef
• Choppa-2 to 12 Teef based on materials used in construction
• Slugga-4 to 15 Teef depending on availability, quality and the available supply of bullets
• Shoota (regular)-8 to 25 Teef
• Wartrukk, New-100 to 800 Teef

Other Notes on Teef

One reason that Orks dislike dealings with Humans is because Humans are socially awkward to Orks. They are tiny, determine leadership in the most contrived of ways, and generally shy away from a good scrap (unless you really provoke them). And to an Ork, a Human has pathetic teef. They are wee little fiddly things, often look flat, and humans tend to be quite protective of them on accounts that human teeth do not grow back and humans use them to show social status (and chewing food). Yet more reasons why Orks are the bestest. However, some humans hiring Ork warbands as mercs for guns, wagons, and anything else that may interest an Ork is not unheard of and said warbands turning against their employers for more bits or just for fun isn't uncommon either.

Not all Teef are made equal, as noted above. But Orks still technically operate on a bartering system, and one Ork's eye for Teef might not be as conservative (or voracious) as the next. Two identical Teef might not buy the same volume of Grog Brand Grog Brew™ at one bar as it will at the next, regardless of availability. Similarly, inflation, deflation, supply and demand, the size difference of the buyer and the seller, the mood of the vender, and even the time of day can affect how much dat fancy new choppa youz been eyein' iz worf. If a lot of Orks go rushing in to get a new bike at once, the dealer Mek might set up an auction at dawn that everyone in the camp attends. The price the bike goes for could affect how much a Toof can buy for the rest of the week. And obviously, if there is one stingy Oldboy who hikes his prices because he sells the only motor oil for seven hundred miles, then he will have a band of Orks banging down his door demanding CHEAP or DEATH!

Orks are technically not the only ones who use teef. Sometimes if an Inquisitor wants to get rid of a chaos infestation, there are some orks nearby and there has recently been a big battle between the guard and the Orks which the guards won, he will send some guys to collect the teef from the corpses and use them to pay for the Orks to go attack that Chaos planet. Orks are not all that keen about humans stealing ork teef, but getting teef and someone to fight is still a winning combination in an Ork's book.

Orks like shiney fings. Some Orks (boyz Bad Moonz klan and Freebooterz especially) will decide that something shiny is just as good as a toof. Or a handful of teef. Or a whole sack. Said shiny thing is usually Gold, which both looks more colorful than Silver and is heavier to boot. Gold often comes in convenient Coin form when stolen from other races, which looks nicer still and makes handy pendants. While not very tough, Gold can be beaten or plated by even the dumbest slave grot into snazy trinkets or onto weapons and armor (to make them shinier). Mekboyz like gold because it conducts "energee" better than more common metals. Even in raw Nugget form, Gold holds a clear appeal to Orks and Humans alike. And unlike Teef, Gold never rots, and thus can be hoarded in big piles of shiny. Thus, some Orks will trade in gold instead of (or in addition to) Teef. This is a risky proposition; while all Orks know the value of a Toof, some Orks don't care much for Gold, and your bartender might not take that tiny nugget in exchange for his finest brew. However, a Bad Moon will take Gold without a second thought, and a Loota or Blood Ax boy will usually take Gold as well. A gold plated weapon on the other hand, will be worth much more than it's duller counterpart, and will usually be deadlier as well because "it'z a high-kwality piece of flash!" The same goes for armor, trophies, and "lukky bitz".

The Adeptus Orthodontus are known for accidentally increasing the exchange rate of Humie teef to Ork teef.