Troll

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A troll in its natural habitat of an imageboard.

A troll is a person who posts inflammatory comments in an attempt to start a fight on the internet.

As most species of mythological troll can only be totally defeated through the use of fire or acid, many internet users assume this will be true of the internet troll. However, the internet troll is a Min-Maxing Powergaming Wanker, and always has some combination of templates and one-level PrC dips to make it immune to Flaming attacks, or worse still is able to feed off them and increase its Trolling ability. This is the reason 3 trolls seem to pop back up and start three more worthless RAGE threads for every one that is defeated by logic or sage, neither of which are listed as doing fire or acid damage in the DMG or PHB.

Rating a troll

Trolls are to be given a rating on a scale of 1 to 10, based on how subtle they are in their trolling, whether or not it's an amusing troll, and the general quality of their post. This type of contentless post can also be a troll.

For example:

"Hey gaiz, 4e lolololol" merits a 0/10.

"So, you like roblox kid? Well let me tell you something. You are nothing. Your friends despise you, and your parents thing you have ADHD for playing this. If you want to be better, go on this website called 'www.meatspin.com' and show your parents and everyone on roblox, saying 'I am gay.' Do it, and you will redeem yourself. K?" merits a 10/10. (Done by pacman0129 on RŌBLOX. The kid was banned from RŌBLOX even though he had bought a membership. And a LOT of in-store items.)

There are no other examples of a 10/10 at this time, as trolls are usually physical and/or mental children who aren't intelligent enough to post quality material. Having said that, some theorize that 10/10 trolls are only rarely identified because their victims never actually realize they're being trolled, since the trolling is RAGEworthy and artful enough to merit 10s, and the victims are thus distracted by other concerns such as removing their own lower jaws and bludgeoning themselves to death with them.

/tg/ rating system

An alternative rating system has been suggested for /tg/ in which one adds or subtracts points based on the success of the troll. While trolling is mostly a subjective experience, users are encouraged to try to objectively rate based on cleverness and creativity of the troll post in question. In general, zero points are to be awarded for common and obvious things that fail to induce responses or anger. This usually indicates laziness and lack of cunning. The majority of troll posts on the internet would probably be rated a zero. Examples would be:

• Posting copypasta designed to induce rage. We've all seen it.
• Posting an image of text instead of an actual relevant image.

If the troll post is good enough to earn some points, points should then be deducted for things that make the troll more obvious, or which indicate they're completely clueless about what they're supposed to be doing. Deductions are for particularly uncreative or stupid people attempting to troll. Indicators of this are things like:

• Using a name or tripcode.
• Using an avatar in combination with a name or tripcode, forcing a personality.
• Bad grammar or spelling, especially common grammatical errors like misuse of "your" and "you're," "its" and "it's", or the use of incorrect phrases like "should of."
• Obvious lack of knowledge on the subject he/she is trolling.
• Anything indicating the troll is under the age of a majority of the site's posters.
• Spamming the same thing over and over again.

Points are awarded on the rare occasion that a post elicits a true emotional response from not only the judge, but most of the board as well. Some things that are awarded points are posted repeatedly, but as long as they continue to make fa/tg/uys sputter and froth through rolls of quiverfat, they should still warrant at least a point. The material is either generating rage on its own or the troll is a creative and astute one. Again, trolls warranting any points at all are exceedingly rare, and can sometimes go undetected for long periods of time. Examples of this are:

• Posting furry art. As often as it's done, it should be worth no points, but it never fails to create a thread that always reaches maximum post count.
• Posting furry art that you drew for /tg/ containing /tg/ characters. Thiscan sometimes even make a mod rage and order a ban. Always guaranteed to reach autosage if it doesn't get deleted first.
• Making a long, seemingly knowledgeable and well-written post with a few factual or fluff errors intentionally slipped in. Most people won't notice them but a few fa/tg/uys are guaranteed to see it and write long, rage-filled posts on how the poster is WRONG WRONG WRONG. Bonus points are awarded if other people who don't see the errors quote the post somewhere, believing it all to be accurate.

Judges may write up a brief report on why the troll post received the score it did.

How Not to be Trolled

Another soul falls victim...

Don't reply.

Seriously, that's it. That's literally all it takes. However boundlessly noble and correct your reasoning may be for posting in an obvious troll thread, IT STILL FEEDS THE TROLL. The response you've prepared is undoubtedly quite witty, thorough, and undeniably right, but please, for the love of God, don't post it. Not even with sage; sage posts do not count against the bump limit or the image limit, and will inevitably be answered by the troll. Remember they're called "trolls" after a type of bait fishing, so if you don't take the bait, they have no power. Also remember Alfred's story in the The Dark Knight about the caravan raider who was stealing precious stones and then throwing them away: "So why steal them?" Bruce Wayne asks. "Well, because he thought it was good sport," Alfred explains. "Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn." Maybe a bit melodramatic for our purposes, but that's the basic principle a troll acts upon.

If you simply ignore the troll, report as many of his/her posts as you have the patience for, and hide the thread, the troll will either starve or be swept up by one of the local janitors (who, unlike the mods, have been known to show up occasionally). The other option is to stay off the internet entirely, but since you're on here, I'm guessing that'd be like chopping every other toe and finger off.

The last and most desperate option is to simply exterminate EVERYTHING, then do the same to the leftovers and then again even when there is nothing left, not even the matter of it, not even the ATOMS! NOTHING! PURGE IT ALL!!!!

Fantasy trolls

Oh, you wanted to know about these, eh?

Trolls originated in Scandinavian mythology, though similar creatures like Oni or even Bigfoot exist in other cultures. Other than that, it's really hard to pin down what a "troll" officially is. Often they're big dumb brutes who turn to stone in sun light; these would be the three trolls in The Hobbit. Norse myths go further and say these trolls are descended from giants, or Jötnar. Other times, they are portrayed as smaller, social beings that can turn invisible and hoard gold and treasure, a bit like dwarves.

The D&D troll combines the trait of stupidity found in the first type of troll, junks the 'turn to stone' part, and adds varying degrees of regeneration. Most trolls can heal from any injury, though doing so makes them hungry, unless they've been doused with acid or fire first. Beware the killer DM who likes to exploit templates, as he can and will build a troll that can only be killed by drowning or strangulation.

Patent Trolls

Patent trolls are real-world extortionists that shake down people for 'infringing' their criminally vague, broad, and utterly useless patents (unless you count having a patent that that can be used for shaking someone down, and only for shaking someone down, as useful). [1]

See Also

• RAGE
• Female Space Marines
• 4e
• Twilight
• Trollzyn
• 50 Copper and Ludi'drizz't
• Forbidden Temple of the Great Falls
• "Troll" a poem by Shane Koyczan

Gallery

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  4chan is the preferred environment of a troll.

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  Now you can be a troll too!

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  That is how trolls were supposed to look.

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  No, /tg/, you are the little goat.

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  There is no better troll bait than Female Space Marines.

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  Trolls start at the bottom and work their way up to the basement.

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