Union Astarte

Union Astarte
Capital	Macragge
Official Languages	High Gothic
Power	Major Power
Size	Nearly the entirety of the Galactic East
Head of State	Supreme Chancellor
Head of Government	Council of Ultramar
Governmental Structure	Military Confederacy
State Religion/Ideology	[[]]
Demographic	Space Marines, Humans, Minor Xenos

Get the fuck out of the way, Oldfag. (Vior'la Sept Fire Warriors)

"Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?"

– Luke 6:41

"Ce qui constitue une République, c'est l'extermination totale de tout ce qui lui est opposé. - What constitutes a Republic is the total destruction of that which is opposed to it."

– Louis Antoine de Saint-Just

"The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting."

– Sun Tzu

Legion States

• Emperor's Dragoons
• Astral Wardens
• Iron Guard
• Ussaran Liberators
• Pale Hounds
• Dusk Phantoms
• Corsairs Gallant

In a Nutshell

The Stated Reason Why People Hate Tau

Weeaboo space confucianists (Asian Commies)—not grimdark enough.

The Real Reason Why People Hate Tau

Until the edition update, this would, most assuredly, be Fish of Fury. Fuck, even most Tau players felt this was bullshit. Post-edition update, it was that certain undesirables felt that they were trying to take the mantle of the 40K universe's "rightful" Imperial protagonists. And because they are not choppy enough. And then 6th Edition codex came, and Tau became one of the shootiest armies in the shootiest edition ever, not to mention their ability to bitchslap cheesmongers, having straight counters against any of the Wardex bullshit. When the 7th edition came out they became overpowered AF and they took the title as the chedder cheese of Warhammer. More generally, the Tau battle philosophy is "deny your opponent the chance to interact with you," which is a good philosophy for real soldiers but can make for frustrating or uninteresting gameplay.

Of course there's also the fluff side of things, and as mentioned above the Tau are given massive amounts of plot armour compared to everyone else in the setting, even the Space Marines which should give you an idea of how ludicrous it is. To use some examples and keep it short, The Tau have comparatively slow non-warp travel that would LOGICALLY mean the Imperium and everyone else have a gigantic advantage in space combat and logistics, never mind hit and run tactics, yet after the first few retcons of the Damocles Crusade this stopped being an issue. Even in cases where the Tau are stuck in a planet engulfed in a burning nebula that it's established they cannot fly through, they just go back home by flying through it. Add in battlesuits that are immune to anti-titan weaponry, the capability to conquer (in one day no less) and deport a hive world, where one human hive city has more humans than the entire T'au race and you start to see some issues. And of course none of this is even touching the fact that they have never lost a major battle, the worse fate they suffer being a stalemate, a stalemate which eventually transforms into a victory when the Imperium withdraws its forces to other theatres of war where they are desperately needed and the Tau just roll in and accomplish what they wanted anyway. These aren't helped by an interminable list of other assorted stupidities, that would require their own separate page just to cover them all. Suffice to say for those who are more interested in the fluff their blatant titan grade plot armour can become somewhat infuriating.

A Real Reason Why People Like Tau

The one race that isn't being a wall of dicks. If the Tau are trolling done by Games Workshop, then the target of said trolling was any fatbeard that needs a constant supply of grimdark to stay alive. Of course, the mind-influencing pheromones they use to conquer new worlds and their psycho-indoctrination mass re-education facilities will just have to be ignored if you don't want destroy your wishful thinking for a half-way decent faction to exist in 40k. But people have always been good at ignoring shit that doesn't fit into their perceived image of something. Though even considering those, it's saying something that they're still the nicest faction in 40k; they're just an awful oppressive empire, rather than a hyper-ultra terribad megadeath awful xenocidally oppressive empire, or some flavor of omnicidal maniacs, or Eldar.

Another Real Reason Why People Like Tau

Unlike many other Races in 40k the Tau are capable of fitting into many other Sci-fi Universes without much Problems. Such as Star trek where they would be at home along side other Peaceful yet also Tyrannical Factions like the Federation. Compared to the Necrons or Eldar which would be both Roflstomps and completely different from all other groups in that Universe. (Unless it Doctor Who).

The Real Reason Why People Play Tau

Arguably have the most powerful guns in the game. Often twin-linked. Often on cool-looking robot battlesuits. Also markerlights. Also RAPETIDE. Tau players may also have a tendency towards sadism.

A Solid Reason People Don't Play Tau

They're fucking expensive. Seriously. On a points-per-pound level, they cost more than any other (plastic) army. This is doubly true if you like battlesuits, but of course you do because you're playing Tau.

Helping Necrons? Or are they Necrontyr descendants?

An often overlooked issue is that Tau have almost no warp signatures, just like Necrons, hate Warpspawns and Warp in general (despite the fact that in 6E they can work with them...I just...I don't...WAAAARD!!!), just like Necrons, have the exact same skull shape, stature and short lives, and the overwhelming need for Technology and beam weapons, JUST LIKE NECRONS. GW may have planned a race that simply prepares a pacified, multiracial galaxy for Necrons to feast upon, supported by Ethereals that have a C'tan phase blade. Then there is a reference of "dark seed in east" by the Deceiver, so the tricky C'tan might give Tzeentch the finger in the JUST AS PLANNED competition. Or maybe GW just has so little creativity that they simply made a new civ conforming to an Old One's standards without knowing it. Given that recent murmurs have suggested that something absolutely massive is in the works at GW, anything could be possible, though past experience has led us to believe that it will simply be a Tau wearing a silly hat.

TL;DR

The good guys High-tech, Mech-loving alien race who are the least grimdark of factions. Can't melee for shit but can blow you back to the stone age with ranged weaponry if you have the misfortune of being downrange. You will either love them or hate them because of all this, and many neckbeards do feel the butthurt. For some reason Tau females are awkwardly sexualized by a non-insignificant minority of fa/tg/uys, which has shown up in some draw- and writefaggotry. As the saying goes: "You can't spell TAUNT without TAU."

Warhammer Fantasy

Unlike most other factions in 40k, Tau have no clear antecedent from Warhammer Fantasy. Some think the anime influences and rapid industrialization/militarization point towards Nippon; others feel the caste system might be related to the Kingdom of Ind. However, neither faction has ever been explored in great detail (or any detail at all), so it's impossible to say whether Tau are similar to those factions; instead, we must compare to the real-world equivalents of the Old World nations. Slightly more controversially, there are elements of Cathay (which is the Anglicized word for China back in the British Empire heyday, so yes) in the Tau. Cathay has been described as being technologically advanced (at least on par with the Empire), including terra-cotta automaton warriors (which the Chinese definitely used to make to pay homage to the First Chinese Emperor's over inflated ego, more than a millennia ago), although such comparison is stated by some to have already been implemented in the characterization of the Eldar and thus, is considered as seriously stretching up a notch.

More recently, some have connected the Tau and their subject races to other factions in Fantasy. The rapid evolution of the Kroot and their overall savagery is (somewhat) similar to the Gors of the Beastmen (although the Beastmen are in the 40k universe themselves). The Empire also shares the xenos-friendly viewpoint of the Tau, although they're not expansionistic, and decidedly less concerned with a unified government structure so long as everyone pays their taxes, for better or for worse. Others compare them to dwarves: dwarves don't use Chaos magic, are short, technologically advanced, kinda casty and blue (understood in many countries as "hopelessly drunk") basicly all the time. Tau don't use Chaos warp magic, are short, technologically advanced, very casty and blue all the time (in regards to skin colour). Both also get seriously grudgy and angry when you piss them off.

Trivia

FOR THE GREATER THEFT!

• Some have said that Tau resemble the protagonist KYNE from the Amiga video game Brataccas, which was released in 1986. Tau were first added to Warhammer 40k in late 2001. Some would dismiss this as coincidence, but Games Workshop has a long history of ripping off designs from other games; Beastmen are Broo from Glorantha, very large chunks of 40k are a little too similar to Judge Dredd, and all of the Greater Daemon model designs are stolen from early Dungeons & Dragons. These properties are understandable as Games Workshop was still selling games of those IPs when Warhammer was first created, but Brataccas is an obscure game from a forgotten system that was quite forgettable even at release, even if Amiga games tended to get fantastic cover art. This being said another of GW's early products was also puzzles of of this style of '70's/'80's Sci-Fi art. The Tau cast system does resemble the Protoss caste from Starcraft, which predates the release of the Tau by 3 years... You have the Templar (Fire/Air Castes) Judicators (Ethereals + Water Castes) and Khalai (Earth Caste). In addition to a rogue sub-caste in the Dark Templar (Farsight Enclaves). This is Ironic considering that GW originally was making a deal with Blizzard to make games based on their properties. GW asked too much/Blizzard didn't like the terms and left... to make Warcraft and Starcraft. Starcraft would have become a Rogue Trader RTS. It was probably a mistake on GW's part, as they REALLY missed out. Stealing the Tau from the Protoss was probably done because GW was still salty.
• Tau are technically canon to the Marvel Comics universe, as the series Venom: Space Knight repeatedly used Tau vehicles for aliens in the scenery. In fact, they have the balls to even keep the Tau Sept symbol! Also, you can see what appears to be a Eldar tank, as well as a Necron. The irony of the ripoff masters Games Workshop getting ripped off is juicy, even more so when its realized that lawsuit-happy Games Workshop (who literally tried to copyright "pauldrons" while they plagiarized Eldar from Tolkien and had some contention between two very similar Dark Elf characters of theirs) couldn't do shit about it because Marvel is owned by Disney, and nobody beats The Mouse™. (except Marvel/Disney settled out of court rather than risk the wrath of the Ordo Legalitus)

Notable Tau

Canon

• Aun'Va
• Aun'Shi
• El'Myamoto (Sub-commander Darkstrider)
• O'Shaserra (Commander Shadowsun)
• O'Shovah (Commander Farsight) and The Eight
• Commander Puretide
• Shas'o Kais
• Shas'o Or'es'Ka

/tg/ 40,000

• Blue
• Faptau
• O'ren I'shi'ii
• Shlicktau
• Xeno

See Also

FOR THE GREATER GROOT!

• Nicassar
• Sept V'iet
• Tau Quest
• Warhammer 40,000: Fire Warrior
• Tau Dark Heresy
• Tactics/Tau
• Tau Cadre Creation Tables
• Codex_-_Tau_Auxiliary
• Tau Diplomacy
• Love Can Bloom 3:Golden Shadowsun NON-CANON FANFICTION GARBAGE