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"A monster I am, lest a monster I wankity wank wank..." | "A monster I am, lest a monster I wankity wank wank..." | ||
These guys suck. Blood, mostly, but in recent portrayals they've learned there's more to sucking than just sustenance. Vampires were originally people that died and came back as undead, <strike> blood-craving monsters </strike> (Actually, vampires were originally bloated walking corpses animated because they were possessed by a demon that would attempt to eat the hearts of the living and satisfy their OCD by counting grains of rice) or perhaps were infected by another vampire to become one, but now they're an overrated, over-glorified "race" that emo love, and at times the entertainment industry circle jerks to. Possibly the most notorious example of the ruination of vampires in contemporary media are the [[Twilight]] vampires from the book/movie series written by [[Stephanie Meyer]], which are less like undead fiends and more like mysterious pretty-boys, who sparkle in the sunlight rather than burning to death, as in older portrayals. | These guys suck. Blood, mostly, but in recent portrayals they've learned there's more to sucking than just sustenance. Things are getting better for them, granted, but... | ||
Wait, we're getting ahead of ourselves here. | |||
'''Vampires''' are fictional creatures that were originally people that died and came back as undead, <strike> blood-craving monsters </strike> (Actually, vampires were originally bloated walking corpses animated because they were possessed by a demon that would attempt to eat the hearts of the living and satisfy their OCD by counting grains of rice) or perhaps were infected by another vampire to become one, but now they're an overrated, over-glorified "race" that emo love, and at times the entertainment industry circle jerks to. Possibly the most notorious example of the ruination of vampires in contemporary media are the [[Twilight]] vampires from the book/movie series written by [[Stephanie Meyer]], which are less like undead fiends and more like mysterious pretty-boys, who sparkle in the sunlight rather than burning to death, as in older portrayals. | |||
Vampires used to be badass motherfuckers that struck at night and hypnotized you into obedience so they could feed on you and turn you into a zombie, but then emo teens started to pretend that they were vampires until it stopped meaning "Dark Creature of the Night, Here to Devour your Soul", and started meaning [[Fag|"Faggot"]]. Now, vampires are created through the use of make-up, bad poetry, and incense lit to conceal the smell of pot so the vampire kid's parents don't come in and scold them in front of his friends from high school. | Vampires used to be badass motherfuckers that struck at night and hypnotized you into obedience so they could feed on you and turn you into a zombie, but then emo teens started to pretend that they were vampires until it stopped meaning "Dark Creature of the Night, Here to Devour your Soul", and started meaning [[Fag|"Faggot"]]. Now, vampires are created through the use of make-up, bad poetry, and incense lit to conceal the smell of pot so the vampire kid's parents don't come in and scold them in front of his friends from high school. |
Revision as of 11:10, 24 December 2018
>
"A monster I am, lest a monster I wankity wank wank..."
These guys suck. Blood, mostly, but in recent portrayals they've learned there's more to sucking than just sustenance. Things are getting better for them, granted, but...
Wait, we're getting ahead of ourselves here.
Vampires are fictional creatures that were originally people that died and came back as undead, blood-craving monsters (Actually, vampires were originally bloated walking corpses animated because they were possessed by a demon that would attempt to eat the hearts of the living and satisfy their OCD by counting grains of rice) or perhaps were infected by another vampire to become one, but now they're an overrated, over-glorified "race" that emo love, and at times the entertainment industry circle jerks to. Possibly the most notorious example of the ruination of vampires in contemporary media are the Twilight vampires from the book/movie series written by Stephanie Meyer, which are less like undead fiends and more like mysterious pretty-boys, who sparkle in the sunlight rather than burning to death, as in older portrayals.
Vampires used to be badass motherfuckers that struck at night and hypnotized you into obedience so they could feed on you and turn you into a zombie, but then emo teens started to pretend that they were vampires until it stopped meaning "Dark Creature of the Night, Here to Devour your Soul", and started meaning "Faggot". Now, vampires are created through the use of make-up, bad poetry, and incense lit to conceal the smell of pot so the vampire kid's parents don't come in and scold them in front of his friends from high school.
If you want vampires in fiction in their original, non-emo bad ass form, check out the Warhammer Fantasy Battle game created by GW, or look to Vampire: the Masquerade (not 5ED tho, that edition just sucks ass), or you can go to Youtube, and search for Jojo's Bizarre Adventure's Dio Brando (ZA WARUDO!) or look up Hellsing Ultimate. I mean, FUCK! Also, Team Four Star abridged episode one of Hellsing Ultimate, and had Alucard kill Edward Cullen. You know you want to watch it. Why aren't you? Have we offended you in some way?
History of Vampires
Ancient Vampires
In ancient cultures, there weren't any creatures called "vampires" or any word that roughly translates to "vampire"; however, stories were told of demons and spirits that drank blood or ate flesh. Even the devil was directly associated with the eating of flesh and drinking of blood, and the gods and goddesses of some cultures were credited with these activities. The Persians were one of the first civilizations to have tales of blood-drinking demons: creatures attempting to drink blood from men were depicted on excavated pottery shards. Ancient Babylonia had tales of the mythical Lilitu, synonymous with and giving rise to Lilith (Hebrew לילית) and her daughters the Lilu from Hebrew demonology. Lilitu was considered a demon and was often depicted as subsisting on the blood of babies. However, the Jewish counterparts were said to feast on both men and women, as well as newborns. The closest this got to the idea of vampires in recent history was that some demons would possess corpses and then use them to drink the blood of people.
Medieval and European Vampires
Many of the myths surrounding vampires originated during the medieval period. The 12th century English historians and chroniclers Walter Map and William of Newburgh recorded accounts of revenants, though records in English legends of vampiric beings after this date are scant. These tales are similar to the later folklore widely reported from Eastern Europe in the 18th century and were the basis of the vampire legend that later entered Germany and England, where they were subsequently embellished and popularized.
During the 18th century, there was a frenzy of vampire sightings in Eastern Europe, with frequent stakings and grave diggings to identify and kill the potential revenants; even government officials engaged in the hunting and staking of vampires. Despite being called the Age of Enlightenment, during which most folkloric legends were quelled, the belief in vampires increased dramatically, resulting in a mass hysteria throughout most of Europe. The panic began with an outbreak of alleged vampire attacks in East Prussia in 1721 and in the Habsburg Monarchy from 1725 to 1734, which spread to other localities. Two famous vampire cases, the first to be officially recorded, involved the corpses of Peter Plogojowitz and Arnold Paole from Serbia. Plogojowitz was reported to have died at the age of 62, but allegedly returned after his death asking his son for food. When the son refused, he was found dead the following day. Plogojowitz supposedly returned and attacked some neighbours who died from loss of blood. In the second case, Paole, an ex-soldier turned farmer who allegedly was attacked by a vampire years before, died while haying. After his death, people began to die in the surrounding area and it was widely believed that Paole had returned to prey on the neighbours. Another famous Serbian legend involving vampires concentrates around certain Sava Savanović living in a watermill and killing and drinking blood from millers. The folklore character was later used in a story written by Serbian writer Milovan Glišić and in the Serbian 1973 horror film Leptirica inspired by the story.
The two incidents were well-documented: government officials examined the bodies, wrote case reports, and published books throughout Europe. The hysteria, commonly referred to as the "18th-Century Vampire Controversy", raged for a generation. The problem was exacerbated by rural epidemics of so-claimed vampire attacks, undoubtedly caused by the higher amount of superstition that was present in village communities, with locals digging up bodies and in some cases, staking them. Although many scholars reported during this period that vampires did not exist, and attributed reports to premature burial or rabies, superstitious belief increased. Dom Augustine Calmet, a well-respected French theologian and scholar, put together a comprehensive treatise in 1746, which was ambiguous concerning the existence of vampires. Calmet amassed reports of vampire incidents; numerous readers, including both a critical Voltaire and supportive demonologists, interpreted the treatise as claiming that vampires existed. In his Philosophical Dictionary, Voltaire wrote:
"These vampires were corpses, who went out of their graves at night to suck the blood of the living, either at their throats or stomachs, after which they returned to their cemeteries. The persons so sucked waned, grew pale, and fell into consumption; while the sucking corpses grew fat, got rosy, and enjoyed an excellent appetite. It was in Poland, Hungary, Silesia, Moravia, Austria, and Lorraine, that the dead made this good cheer."
The controversy only ceased when Empress Maria Theresa of Austria sent her personal physician, Gerard van Swieten, to investigate the claims of vampiric entities. He concluded that vampires did not exist and the Empress passed laws prohibiting the opening of graves and desecration of bodies, sounding the end of the vampire epidemics. Despite this condemnation, the vampire lived on in artistic works and in local superstition.
Celtic mythology features the Baobhan Sidhe, which resemble the archetypal modern horror vampire, as they are beautiful women who take the blood of men while "dancing" with them (usually in a murderous fashion), but have to return to their burial mounds before the rise of the sun. There is also the Lennan Sidhe, or Barrow Lover, who is the tamer, more good natured, monogamous style of vampire girlfriend, who inspires her pet artist but also drains him, sometimes driving him into an early grave. There's also Abhartach, a dwarf magician and tyrant who, according to legend, rose from the grave after he was killed and demanded the blood of his subjects. He was finally killed using a sword made from a specific type of tree wood.
Romanian mythology also contributes heavily to the modern, sociable, attractive notion of vampires, who seem to usually be gingers, and could sometimes pass unnoticed in human society or even procreate or marry; even female vampires could bear offspring. The children are usually fated to become vampires after death. Romanian vampires come in countless varieties, from evil spirits to owls to vampire babes to actual living witches. Romanian vampires potentially have a shot at becoming alive again -- it involves marrying a foreigner, changing their name and leaving the country, however, which sounds a lot less like "becomes human again" and more "sneaks off to bite people elsewhere." YMMV.
Modern Vampires
In the late 1800s, Vampires were still widely regarded to be nasty little weirdos like Count Orlok, creeping around in the night looking freakish and completely the opposite of sexy. But then- along came the Hollywood portrayal of Bram Stoker's Dracula from the typical unattractive vampire (he was at least written as ugly; he was a thin elderly man with a hooked nose, pointed ears, blue eyes that went flaming red when he was mad and had hairy palms, though his appearance became more youthful as he fed on blood) to Tod Browning's Dracula film, starring Bela Lugosi's Dracula as a suave lady's man, and the Vampire's descent into sparkly Marty Stu-dom began. (Incidentally, vampires only began to burn to death by sunlight with 1922's Nosferatu film. Before this even Dracula himself could walk in broad daylight, though his powers were weakened). Lady-types developed a metaphorical hard-on for vampires, and vampires supposedly got literal hard-ons for ladies until 1976, when Anne Rice published the first book in her series, the Vampire Chronicles, which established a more... Primal interpretation, wherein Vampires had free will, but all of their needs paled before the all-consuming need for fresh blood to feed upon. This is where we started to see more classical interpretations, where they were sociopaths, gluttons, and sophisticates, all at once.
Discussion of the Vampire mythos and how Vampires began to suck (figuratively) cannot be had without careful analysis of the culture at the time. Vampires, up through the 1980s, had always been associated with gothic horror - it's one of many reasons that there was such a resurgence of Victorian-style fashion amongst the Goth crowd, which admittedly a lot of /tg/ finds impossibly hot. Goth culture celebrated Vampire mythos for this very reason; they were a worthy bit of admirable folklore, the source of many an interesting BBEG, and an inspiration for a lot of things in Goth culture. This "classical" archetype is what we would see with most Vampire portrayals throughout movies, comic books, television series, and so on during this time.
Sadly, in the early 1990s, cross-contamination by the "Emo" subculture caused this to bottom out in a parasitic fashion - Emo glutted itself on anything it could encounter and claimed that it belonged rightly to it, and Goth subculture, with its established fashion sense and habits, was a natural target. The prevalence of Emo bullshit caused the bulk of the Goth subculture to retreat back to its Victorian roots, but not before Emos had secured Vampires as "their own." Similar would happen to other genres Emo wormed its tendrils into so as to feed: Grunge, Punk, and even the Beat movement would all likewise be absorbed by Emo attempts to claim it, which is why many stereotypes, including Emo fashion, music stylings, and predilection towards poetry persist to this day. None of this, however, would really amount to the damage that Emo subculture did to Vampires, romanticizing them into individuals for whom the taste for blood was little more than a dietetic quirk. Emos continue to drink tomato juice from plastic Halloween goblets, dress up like gay vampires, and whine endlessly about how they supposedly hate life to this very day, whilst everyone else who remembers the good old days just shakes their head in disgust, goes "son, I am disappoint," and walks off, depressed.
Defining Abilities
Though vampires as a species have gone through the gamut in regards to what powers they do or don't have or how to identify one, there are some very common powers that a great number of vampires possess.
- Bloodthirst: THE defining feature. Regardless of reasons, be it for simple survival, slaking an addiction, or just sadism, almost all vampires drink blood, usually through their fangs. It also serves as the main source of conflict for vampires, as it can potentially lead to a conflict in conscience or morality by putting another's life at risk (if not ending it altogether) in order to preserve their way of life.
- Healing Factor: Like any self-respecting BBEG, a vampire's gotta have regeneration if they plan on living past one fight. Usually, drinking blood hastens the process. Anything that causes continuous harm (such as drowning or burning) might even overwhelm the healing factor.
- Hypnotism: As part of their drop-dead sexy, vampires tend to have some sort of hypnotic power, usually in the form of some entrancing gaze (For an example, look at Mephiston's Transfixing Gaze or Dio's flesh buds).
- Shapeshifting: Vampires tend to have some form of shapeshifting, even if it's just to conceal their less human features from unsuspecting eyes. There are also those vampires who can shapeshift into animals (typically bats, but they can also turn into wolves, rodents, and even mist). Some vampires can also shapeshift into more monstrous forms, reserved for when they're truly pissed off.
- No Reflections: For whatever reason, vampires do not show up on mirrors, but anything they wear does. Sometimes this is played with, like making it that they only show up on mirrors not lined with silver or making them not show on photos. It's usually a dead giveaway that vampires aren't human.
- No Shadows: When in a room without mirrors (which can happen quite a bit depending on setting), a vampire's inability to cast a shadow might be a giveaway. Just pray that said shadow isn't planning on double-teaming you.
- Shadow Magic: Whenever vampires are allowed to use magic, they tend to focus on using shadows or necromancy. Telepathy is another frequent power, especially when communicating to lackeys/vassals.
Weaknesses
Just like the features of vampires, their weaknesses have also gone through various interpretations, but they usually follow some common tropes.
- Sunlight: Despite what pop culture says, sunlight doesn't always kill vampires. Even in Stoker's classic, sunlight really just hampered Dracula's power to the point that he's effectively powerless. Of course, some settings have vampires be resistant enough to sunlight that it just irritates, if it bothers at all. And then there are those that just...turn into fucking sparkles upon exposure to sunlight. Whatever the case, sunlight's not a nice thing to a vampire, so they tend to sleep in their coffins to pass the time.
- Stakes: Yes, the other trademark weakness. By piercing a stake (usually of either silver or wood) through a vampire's heart, you can effectively cancel out their blasphemous regenerative properties and kill them for good...then again, this is just as lethal to normal folks.
- Decapitation: Another weakness that's just as lethal to normal people!
- Crosses: Sometimes just showing the symbol of Jesus Christ's sacrifice is enough to banish vampires, especially when vampirism is considered to be in league with the big red guy. Sometimes, it just works because vampires are considered undead and your cleric has Turn Undead. Often enough, however, showing a cross just tends to make the vampire hunter look like a bellend. Especially when the vampire's decked in his own crucifixes
- Silver: Silver works fine enough on werewolves, why not use your silvered weapons here too?
- Running Water: For some vampires, running water, be it rivers or aqueducts, is an effective way to block them off, even when they could just fly over it. Maybe it's because it reminds them of blood flowing in veins. Maybe it's because water's acidic to them, as is the case in the Legacy of Kain series.
- Garlic: A persistent weakness involved vampires having a phobia of garlic, either because of how it smells awful or because it has some sort of property that's lethal to them like some supernatural food allergy. Then again, some vampires can't taste a thing and wouldn't even notice.
- Arithomania: In case you ever wanted to mention a very petty or stupid weakness, there's spreading sesame seeds somewhere - some vampires have a obsessive-compulsive need to count the fuckers - even when it leads to them counting until sunrise.
- Permission: Another very unusual habit some vampires have is their inability to enter a residence without permission. This usually plays hand in hand with their hypnotic factor, but if denied, they'll just pace around angrily until they can try again if they don't decide to go to greener pastures.
Vampires in Modern Fiction
Vampires in anime
While Japan may have their share of silly vampires, they mostly respected the traditional image of modern vampires, here are some of the traits you may find when looking through weaboo media:
- Undulated light colored hair (white, blueish white or light blonde)
- Alternatively pitch black hair
- Red eyes (may bright when showing strong emotions)
- Long sharp nails
- Pallid skin, fair, if slightly ill features.
- White fangs (duh!)
- Bat wings (sometimes may be feathered wings)
- Very very rich (because long term interests are easy when you are a couple of centuries old, may or may not even be the bank owners)
- Preference of early modern age European customs and dresses (may feature black and red)
- Usually of British or west Slavic ascendancy
- May or may not be real nobility
- Crosses (Apparently it doesn't affect them since they aren't christian...)
- Mockingly suave in times of peace, very cultured
- Ferociously sadist when fighting, the beast is unleashed
- Extremely strong close combat and lighting speed
Of course not all anime and manga or vydiagaem vampires fit to the T with this list, but they will have most of this characteristics, expect them to be proficient fighters with all the advantages of old vampires and enough brains to not to fall to cheap tricks such as exposing themselves to the sun due some silly accident.
Hellsing
A great example of vampires done by Japan right comes from a manga called Hellsing, which focused on a gunslinging "domesticated" vampire named Alucard who works for an organization of vampire hunters. The Hellsing manga follows the story of the Hellsing Organization, a British family-run organization incharge of killing supernatural threats to the British empire. In the manga's case, they fight a 50-year old batallion of artificial vampire nazis originally meant to turn the tide of the war (called "The Last Batallion"), under the command of an SS major, who wants to kill Alucard for ruining the original Last Battalion project, and just for the lulz.
Alucard himself is a blood-crazed, warmongering maniac that makes the archetype 90s anti-hero look tame by comparison, even if the villains in the series were even worse than him. He somewhat follows the story of Bram Stoker's Dracula, with him being Vlad the Impaler in life before getting killed and becoming Dracula in death ("Alucard" is Dracula backwards), but is instead compelled to serve humans rather than being axed off outright.
Just an example of his insanity and his level of dickishness is that he is completely immortal, even by vampire standards, capable of even surviving methods designed to kill vampires (from stakes to the heart and beheadings with blessed equipment. Although this is because he can use the millions of souls he has consumed over 5 centuries as a scapegoat.), and is the most powerful vampire in existence. Despite being able to kill any foe he desires in the blink of an eye; he will instead allow them a hollow chance at killing him, only to get back up, show them a fraction of his power, and proceed to slowly dismember and humiliate them before finally killing them, just for the lulz. Ohh, and he also transforms into a little girl when it fancies him (Although keeping his masculine voice while in this form). Truly the vampire all of /tg/ asked for.
There's also the deuteragonist Seras Victoria, a british cop-girl-turned-vampire sired by Alucard himself after "saving" her (which is in quotes because he fatally shot her in the first place on purpose) from being molested and murdered by another vampire. She originally started off as the hapless minion of her master, but becomes murder on legs after she unlocked her true power as a vampire, most notably by literally grinding someone's face off by dragging their face against a wall at high speed. Seras is notable for being the plucky comic relief and fan service character despite being an undead creature of the night, and still being an upbeat and decent individual in spite of the former and all of the fucked up shit going on around her.
The series had anime adaption made, but like many animes based on mangas, it started to run out of material and started making its own, which divided fans of the manga, and ended after only 13 episodes. Four years later we got a more faithful adaptation called in the form of series of direct to video movies they're called Original Video Animations and they're nowhere near as shitty as direct to video movies are implied to be called Hellsing Ultimate. Even though most these haven't been released stateside Since watching dubbed anime is for scrubs even if Hellsing's dub is markedly better than most others, any decent anime fan site will still have them subtitled, so if you want to watch them, you don't have to look to far (Although Crispin Freeman's voice acting for Alucard is the shit, compared to his equally good Japanese counterpart). So go watch them. That's an order.
And here's to get you started. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNLuGfIb5Do (Well shit. Seems like the copyright goblins have struck again.)
tl;dr What if Bram Stoker's Dracula didn't get killed but sealed by Van Helsing, who converted to Protestantism and moved to Britain? Spoiler: Which means Mina Harker is a vampire too, and her corpse is used by the Third Reich to synthesize their own vampires.
Pinelight
And then Stephanie Meyer showed up and ruined Vampires forever. At this point, vampires still had the whole "promiscuity" thing going for them; that is, they did until Meyer up and decided to write Twilight so she and other Mormons would have a Vampire Abstinence porno they could fap to without angering Jesus. With this, vampires reached their current state of immense glittery faggotry and became the fucked-up, universally-mocked, emotionally-abusive teen heartthrobs they are today, while every Vampire Counts player in WHFB, every old-school Goth, and everyone who gives a damn about literary or cultural verisimilitude cried manly tears of pain and rage.
Fortunately, as a backlash against this complete castigation of the scary and badass monsters-of-the-night that they originally were, some modern fiction has taken the opposite direction by making their vampires actually frightening and dangerous. One rather bad (but very clever) game turned them into truly horrific undead adversaries, the likes of which are nightmare fuel.
Warhammer
Warhammer Fantasy Battle plays up the horror aspects of the Vampires to 11, knowing that it's what makes them a compelling force to play - after all, the one nice thing about being an undead lord of the night is that you get to be a right and propa evil overlord about it. Vampires in WFB are both hard as nails and are wizards to boot, meaning they cover most bases that other armies have to pick and choose, however being masters of necromancy and all, if the general dies then the rest of the undead army under his command usually starts crumbling to dust (not so much after the return of Nagash though) unless another Vampire/Necromancer can step in and take over. Steven Sevile's vampire trilogy Inheritance, Dominion, and Retribution are great for showing just how monstrous these fiends are.
Warhammer 40,000
There were once actually rules for Vampires (spelled Vampyre) in the 40k universe, taken as supplementary rules for Necromunda they represented an abhuman subtype who drank blood, had superhuman statlines and raised gangs of thralls to do their bidding. Even a young, pony-tailed Gav Thorpe got involved with the rules and wrote up a counter character: B'Ufi the Vampyre Slayer which was somehow part of the 40k canon.
Though 40k has generally left Necromunda behind, mention of blood sucking mutants can still be found in Dark Heresy and one of the Freeblade Knights (the Crimson Reaper) is rumoured to be a Vampyre. Rogue Trader has vampires as Warp-Spawned entities that change shape and drink the lifeforce of societies they inhabit.
Also, several tabletop factions drink blood as part of their fluff..
- Blood Angels A first-founding chapter who includes blood in many of their chapter themes and rituals (and their successors usually follow this), basically what would happen when you throw Catholicism and Bram Stoker's Dracula in a blender and pressing puree. The Blood Angels have a lot of modern vampire-ish themes, mixed with angelic elements, from looking eternally youthful, being long-lived (even by Astartes standards), and have an 1-3 chances of developing a need to quench their partially dormant bloodthirst.
- Blood Drinkers A Blood Angels successor chapter. They have a literal need to drink blood, although unlike their more angelic cousins; they do not do this out of ritual: instead they do it as a way to sate their chapter's innate bloodlust.
Blood Ravens(Not really vampires, but Fantasy counterpart is Strigany, who serve the Vampire Counts.)- Flesh Eaters (Crappy Space Marines who like to eat flesh. Especially if it's raw.)
- Dark Eldar (While not bloodsuckers, although they might drink their victim's blood if it fancies them; the Dark Eldar partake in a sort of "emotional vamprism" on their hosts to sustain themselves. Said vamprism is carried out usually by slowly torturing the host until he's dead. They also follow the "classic" Vampire aesthetics; being a bunch of crazy arrogant pale and nimble wannabe-aristocrats. They even come back from dead in a process, which involves crystal coffins.)
Vampires in 4E
Vampires are now a class in 4e. They were introduced in the Heroes of Shadow book, and yes, they are in fact a CLASS now, no longer a template or curse. There is also detailed in the book a new race, "Vryloka," which are basically vampires in their own right so WHY MAKE VAMPIRE A CLASS, I MEAN SERIOUSLY. Only in the fluff, Vryloka have the power of vampires, just without the bloodlust. Really? That just sounds stupid on paper. And also stupid in general. We got a fucking cornucopia of stupid going on here.
The Vampire class has the Shadow power source, and is also a striker, which is apparently all Shadow is good for in 4e, being that all it consists of is Assassins, Executioners (variant Assassins from the Heroes of Shadow), Vampires, and Blackguards, all of which are strikers for fuck-all reason. WOTC explained that they named the class Vampire because they really wanted the players to feel like they were playing one, as most of the powers are based on vampiric lore (turning into bats, mist, wolves, drinking blood to gain healing surges). If so, they still could have come up with an original fucking name either way and kept the fluff relatively the same. This also means that Vampires (the class, that is) cannot be mages or knights without using hybrid classes.
Then there's the Vampiric Heritage feat, which lets any humanoid gain +2 to Perception and Insight checks to find undead while also getting Blood Drain (Encounter Attack; Str/Dex/Con +2/tier vs Reflex when grabbing someone, deals 1d4/tier + Con Mod damage and lets you spend a healing surge). This already is a step above the class by not hamstringing you with the shittiest number of surges in existence and an absolutely pitiful selection of powers. You also get access to the Blood Knight Paragon Path and a few extra feats, though some of them are kinda naff:
- Vampire Alacrity (+1 Speed)
- Mist Form (Requires level 10; replace a level 10 or lower utility power with Mist Form, a sustainable daily power that renders you insustantial with a hovering speed of 8 squares but forbids you from attacking)
- Night's Sight (Gain darkvision)
- Bloodied Regeneration (Requires paragon tier; replace a level 10 or lower utility power with Bloodied Regeneration, a daily utility power that grants you regeneration 5 until you aren't bloodied anymore)
- Domineering Gaze (Requires level 15; replaces a level 15 or lower utility power with Domineering Gaze, a daily ranged 5 attack that uses a mental stat +4 (+6 in epic) vs Will that inflicts either save-ends Dominated (downgraded to save-ends dazed after making the save) or save-ends dazed)
- Savage Bite (Requires paragon tier; you can now use your power on anyone you have combat advantage over)
This also raises a question: Since vampirism was already present in 4e by way of heritage feats (which was already a decently-received idea that enabled for diversity in builds), why not simply expand on that idea instead of introducing both a race AND class that are both vampires? Or better yet, why not make vampire a race in the same way that Revenant is (that is, you choose which race you are a revenant of and can select that race's feats)? As the system is, it is possible to make a Vryloka with Vampire class and the Vampiric Heritage feat, meaning you can gain utility and attack powers that all relate to being a vampire from three different sources with one character.
Another, better idea than they did was themes: optional features that give players a bit more unique character fluff, that came with at least one additional power and others to choose from as you leveled up. Why couldn't they have done this with Vampire? It would have cut down on the feat expenditure, enabled access to unique powers without being shoehorned into any crap class, and offers all the benefits of each without any drawbacks.
Tl;dr There's a Vampire class, it is stupid, blame 4e.
Dungeons & Dragons 4th Edition Classes | ||
---|---|---|
Player's Handbook 1 | Cleric • Fighter • Paladin • Ranger • Rogue • Warlock • Warlord • Wizard | |
Player's Handbook 2 | Avenger • Barbarian • Bard • Druid • Invoker • Shaman • Sorcerer • Warden | |
Player's Handbook 3 | Ardent • Battlemind • Monk • Psion • Runepriest • Seeker | |
Heroes of X | Blackguard* • Binder* • Cavalier* • Elementalist* • Hexblade* • Hunter* • Mage* • Knight* • Protector* • Scout* • Sentinel* • Skald* • Slayer* • Sha'ir* • Thief* • Vampire* • Warpriest* • Witch* | |
Settings Book | Artificer • Bladesinger* • Swordmage | |
Dragon Magazine | Assassin | |
Others | Paragon Path • Epic Destiny | |
*·: Non-AEDU variant classes |
The Dresden Files
A number of species (or "Courts) of vampires exist in the The Dresden Files. While the RPG isn't on the neckbeard's essentials list, the novel series is on /tg/'s approved literature list, and the rich background made from the 15 and counting books, numerous short stories, and a few other forms of media is rife with nasties. This includes a number of species that fall under the umbrella of vampires. It should be noted that while they're largely unrelated, Vampires have a few thing in common: each Court is essentially a family clan or a close-knit set of family groups; they feed on humans in various ways; they're agelessly immortal; the older they are, the more powerful and more influential in court politics they are.
The Black Court
The Draculas. Meant almost unironically. The Black Court are what we normally think of with the pop cultural vampire: blood drinking, moldering corpses with superpowers. In addition to the expected super strength, super durability, and super speed, Black Court vampires have a grab bag of superpowers, including subverting the will of humans to make them docile and compliant, or as a Renfield, a physically-empowered beast who is fanatically loyal to their master. Black Court campires are the most powerful, but have the most weaknesses, and it adds up to them being the hardest to fight and easiest to kill. While older, more powerful vampires have some protection against the traditional weaknesses, young vampires have to remain dormant during the daytime. Garlic, sunlight, and getting staked are all lethal, and holy relics are an anathema, and necromantic magic is rumored to be a potent weapon against them. They are also notably vulnerable to more modern means, such as flamethrowers and high explosives. Out of the vampire species, they reproduce the fastest, with victims of their bite getting back up in a matter of minutes and able to create even more Black Court vampires; but the greater their presence means the more attention they draw, meaning the sooner a whole group comes to extinction.
Their rivals in the White Court commissioned Bram Stoker to write the novel Dracula as an expose on their strengths, weaknesses, and signs that a group (or more correctly, a "scourge") of Black Court vampires have taken up residence in an area. This has lead to the court has largely dying out, and natural selection has left the most powerful, the most cunning, and/or the most discreet vampires being left alive, with the odd exception of a young Black Court vampire popping up to cause trouble when an older vampire finds them useful.
The original vampire of the Black Court has the title of the Black King, and in this case it appears to be the original Dracula. His father, Vlad Dracul was ironically even worse, since he was some thing of incredible evil that was trapped in human form (most fan theories posit that he was a demon or a dragon, but juries out if he was something else entirely), and since he was incredibly evil, he was a dick to his son. So out of daddy issues, little Vladdy joined the Black Court according to a snarky magical database, but he might have been mistaken about Dracula having joined the Black Court rather than creating it, as Word of God later posits that Dracula was the Black Court O.G. Whoever the creator was, the Black Court was apparently created when they had made a deal, if not with the Devil, then with a creature of comparable evil and power. Notably, if Dracula was indeed the founder, that would make this Court just more than 5 centuries old, making them the youngest Court.
Red Court
The Red Court are Central American, anthropomorphic bat monsters. Unlike most depictions of anthropomorphic creatures, Red Court vampires are grotesque creatures with flabby bodies, pot bellies, spindly limbs, and slimy skin. For them, blood is both sustenance and a drug, sometimes having a narcotic effect with dependence potentially being a very real issue; and instances of insanity and mental instability occurring in Red Court vampires in much greater frequency than in other Courts and human populations.
Red Court vampires are less powerful than Black Court vampires, but also have fewer weaknesses. There are a higher number of magic users in the Red Court than in the Black (though thats a given and its unknown if that's per capita, since only about two vampires of the Black Court showed up, and literally hundreds of Reds). They have super strength, but the fact that they still have a mass comparable to a human has been leveraged against them. Their main weaknesses are divine symbols, fire, and sunlight, being damaging against them, and lethal only with sustained exposure (with fire, of course, requiring slightly less sustained exposure). They can also heal pretty quickly, given they have enough blood to metabolize. They can also pose as regular (albeit incredibly attractive) humans with a second skin called a flesh mask, which can be formed at will over a few seconds, and it provides them with some protection from sunlight. Elder vampires are hinted to be able to alter their flesh masks, allowing them to disguise themselves, and occasionally they happen to have other abilities (one vampire could mesmerize people with a look in the eyes, making them see the things she wanted them too). Lastly, they have narcotic saliva, which can be used to make prey more compliant and willing (imagine an incredibly hot individual who has a tongue than makes you feel great, numbed, and willing to go along with their suggestions), and they can create "renfielded" individuals by making them dependent on the effects of their saliva.
Most members of the Red Court are survivors of another Red Courts vampire's bite. These "dhampirs" have super strength, immortality, and super senses. Unfortunately, they also have a huge hankering for blood that they need to resist unless they want to become a vampire themselves. A group of rebellious Red Court dhampirs have gathered together as the Order of Saint Giles and are conducting a centuries-long guerrilla war on the Red Court. If a Red Court dhampir ever drinks blood, that is to make or fail to resist the choice of taking the life of another to sate their thirst, then they become a vampire.
The leadership is based around hierarchical system of nobility, the very top is a council of twelve who took the name of the Lords of Outer Night, and the Red King being placed above them, and he having taken the title of Kukulkan. Kukulkan has been the Red King for at least 4,000 years, ruling Central American civilizations from the shadows all the while, and nobody is quite certain where he comes from. The Lords of Outer Night have posed themselves as gods, members of one of the Central American patheons (probably Mayan, going by "Kukulkan"), for several thousand years, and the worship and devotion of mortals has allowed them to become deities in their own right; this means they become much more powerful, and exerting their force of will is like a form of telekinesis that most humans don't have a prayer of overcoming. While considered a nation unto themselves, they control several human nations in Central and South America, mostly through secretly pushing their cult and compulsion of key individuals through intimidation, addiction, or promises of vampirism. As a nation, they have several billion dollars worth of resources and entire villages of humans bred like cattle for consumption and occasionally proliferation, including children.
Kukulkan has ruled the red court for his entire life, though through the novels, his subordinates think that it's about time for his tenure to end. By the "present" in the novels, with the possible exception of a few sequel hooked individuals, the Red Court has been driven to extinction.
The White Court
Incubi and Succubi. The White Court are psychic vampires that mainly feed on psychic energy, mostly lust and desire. They appear the most human, having no secret form and no distinction except for glowing silver eyes when their powers are activated or their hunger is stoked. White Court vampires are more born than created; the son or daughter of a White Court vampire is a human born with a demonic symbiote called a "Hunger", and it manifests at puberty, and is awakened only when it sates itself for the first time the nascent vampire makes love for the first time. The effect is that their partner is drained to the point of death and the human scion of the White Court is transformed into a vampire. Female White Court vampires appear to be sterile (though this isn't confirmed).
The White Court is, in a few ways, the weakest of the Vampires. They're still physically superior to humans in every way, have an ability to regenerate from injury that's superior to the Red Court and much better than the Black Court, and when their power is activated, their strongest vampires can go toe-to-toe with a Black Court vampire. But every time their power is used, it draws from their Hunger, draining their "battery" each time, and one of the best ways to beat them is to exhaust their Hunger. They can inspire lust and devotion in their prey, advanced vampires or vampires with a long term relationship with their "food" being able to take the life force from their prey with a touch. At least one of their more humane vampires has developed a semi-functional romantic relationship with his prey, even with the predator-prey dynamic. To compensate the fact that they generally aren't as powerful and that they don't have the sustained power as their counterparts, the White Court has developed a culture of scheming and manipulation.
The White King is the patriarch of the Raith family, known only as Lord Raith, and he maintains his position at the top of the heap with a long-earned reputation of being the most powerful White Court vampire and being the entire court's best manipulator. There are other families, presumably derived from Lord Raith's siblings. While House Raith feeds on and can inspire lust and desire, the lesser houses of Malvoras and Skavis have a similar relationship with fear and despair respectively. The White Court derives at least as far back as the Etruscan civilization, which was one of Rome's neighbors about 21 centuries ago, and the ancient Etruscan language is still utilized by the Court in the present.
Jade Court
The only court that hasn't appeared directly in the novels. The Jade Court are Asian vampires that have the least details known about them, due to the fact that their extremely secretive and isolationist, they largely constrain themselves to their bases in China's Yangtze River basin and the area around the South China Sea, and that most of the series takes place in North America. They likely date back to the Qin dynasty. They're currently holding themselves up in their homes while they see if the new People's Republic will collapse like previous Chinese governments. While very secretive, they have a reputation for being honorable and respecting the supernatural equivalent of the Geneva conventions. Next to nothing is known about their nature, but fan consensus is that they're Jiangshi, and probably feed on a victims qi.
Other Courts
There are reputedly at least 3 other courts in the 'verse, but they're fleas compared to the others, and thus not really worthy of mention.
Vampire: the Masquerade
VtM from White Wolf had a pretty good take on Vampires, consisting of an entire campaign setting surrounding Vampires, covering a range of playable clans from the uber-seductive Toreador (presumably what inspired the Twilight books though) to the feral Gangrel, the fucking ugly as shit Nosferatu to the batshit mental as fuck Malkavian. So pretty much the setting allowed players to play the vampire of their dreams.
The setting was real-world too, fitting into real-word mythologies using elements from biblical canon to explain itself away, using the origin story of Cain(e) & Abel and making Vampires to be Caine's cursed descendants, after learning how to master his blood magic from the equally outcast Lilith (Adam's first ex-wife according to Hebrew canon)
Vampire:The Requiem
Essentially a reboot of VtM above, VtR removed the Christian backstory and made vampires more mysterious, and condensed the vast array of playable clans down to five clans that embodied strong vampire archetypes and myriad sub-clans, "bloodlines", that further refined those archetypes.
Nosferatu
The classic 1922 silent film is essentially a bootleg version of Bram Stoker’s Dracula with a more copyright-friendly name. That doesn’t stop it though from coming up with a few original ideas; it’s notable for inventing the entire idea vampires burn in sunlight, something which has stuck with them ever since. However, the character of Count Orlok is a classic example of vampires being terrifying monsters which prey upon the living. Not much backstory is ever really given about him or vampires in this setting, but to defeat a vampire here, a pure maiden must sacrifice herself in order to vanquish him by exposing Orlok to sunlight. Orlok also has a noticeable rat motif going on, bringing rats with him when he moves to a new town, rats which spread the plague. His powers include telekinesis, levitation, some kind of mind control and turning into his own damn shadow. However, what everyone remembers is his appearance, which is now so iconic it's a go-to for making an especially creepy vampire.
Legacy of Kain
A series of video games from the 90's to the mid 2000's by Crystal Dynamics which has itself some rather unique ideas about vampires and their particular place in the dark fantasy setting of Nosgoth.
While the first game (Blood Omen) plays vampirism rather straight with a few extra tricks like telekinetically sucking blood, there are some vampires that do look rather monstrous when compared to the pale-skinned human the protagonist Kain is. Then came Soul Reaver, which sets itself in a distant shithole of a future where the world's about to end and the vampires are now all very inhuman, each with some very unique evolutions based upon their progenitors (Like spider-vampires, mer-vampires, bat-like vampires with sonic blasts, etc.) alongside a developed immunity to sunlight. Even Kain himself looks more like a life-sized gargoyle than a person by this point. Raziel, the second protagonist, makes things even weirder by being an undead vampire who has to feed on souls because he lost his jaw.
Later games expanded upon this by revealing that vampires only became the bloodsucking monsters they are because of an ancient curse by a long-banished enemy that corrupted all vampires and stripped their reproductive abilities from them. With no way to sire vampires or cure their curse, they had to resort to necromancy (Which only made the corruption worse) and eventually became hunted down by greedy fuckwad humans. None of this is helped by the fact that everything's been run by the machinations of an eldritch Lovecraftian entity whose ultimate goal is to own all life in his cycle of life and death.
Monster Hunter International
Monster Hunter International has two types of vampires: Standard and Master. Vampires move faster than humans, drain blood, are weak to silver (like most monsters), holy stuff, faith, sunlight, can't enter buildings unless invited (though invitations are forever and welcome mats count), can be paralyzed with a stake and must be beheaded to kill. Master Vampires are all around stronger and have a few extra powers including only being weakened by a stake, mind reading, hypnotism, more powerful spawn and, rarely, turning to mist. How exactly master status is determined from remains is unclear, though they are only below Lich (who are very rare) in PUFF value. Normal humans fed on by a vampire will spawn new vampires from their corpse if they die, regardless of how much time has passed, unless it is cremated or beheaded.
Vampires in the Monster Hunter International verse are universally evil. Fiction portraying sparkly, "friendly" vampires is well loved by vampires in this universe: It makes getting victims so much easier.
Sexy, Sexy Vampires
This article or section is about Monstergirls (or a monster that is frequently depicted as a Monstergirl), something that /tg/ widely considers to be the purest form of awesome. Expect PROMOTIONS! and /d/elight in equal measure, often with drawfaggotry or writefaggotry to match. |
When Bram Stoker wrote his "Dracula" novel in the 1800s, even though ol' Drac himself was not exactly portrayed as the handsomest individual, the book's scenes of Dracula's attacks on sleeping women had a darkly erotic undertone that women readers instantly picked up on. Add in Dracula's far more handsome portrayal by actor Bela Lugosi in the first ever film depiction and Carmilla, the beautiful female vampire who only preys on women and does so with just as much eroticism as Dracula did, and you had the beginnings of the vampire's descent into sexual fandom amongst the growing Goth movement. Add in Anne Rice's sexually charged Vampire Chronicles books, and thus the "Vampires Are Sex Gods" trope/meme was born.
For the most part, it tends to be the male vampires who get presented in this light, dominating the niche genre of "supernatural romance" for women by an enormous margin. Still, there are enough voluptuous, sexually provocative female vampires in media that monstergirls fans aren't left entirely in the dust.
In fact, it's not actually unprecedented; the Balkans had stories of Dhampirs, the offspring of vampires and their human wives, for centuries before Anne Rice put pen to paper, so people have been seeing vampires as sexy for a pretty long time.
In the Monster Girl Encyclopedia, the vampire is presented as a kind of succubus with a taste for bloodplay and an affinity for necromancy. They are arrogant, conceited tsunderes, demanding only the very best in a potential human mate. Unless you feed them garlic, whereupon they turn into a horny, submissive slut.