Vampire Counts

Let us go out this evening for pleasure... The night is still young!

"Death is the one predator we can't escape. But vampires have found the loophole so many of us crave. I think that's the allure of vampirism."

– Sherrilyn Kenyon

"A great deal of struggle and sorrow in the world comes from misguided feelings of pride of ownership and possessiveness."

– Bryant H McGill

"He roused from a joyous dream of feasting, of drinking blood and sucking warm marrow from the bone. His sons and daughters swarmed like ants upon the surface of the Earth, ripe in their terror, delectable in their anguish. He swept them into his mouth and their insides ran in black streams between his lips and matted his beard. This sweet dream rapidly slipped away as he stretched and assessed his surroundings. He shambled forth from the great cavern in the mountain that had been his home for so long."

– Laird Barron

I reject my humanity!.

The Vampire Counts are the non-Egyptian Undead of Warhammer Fantasy. Due to them being..."heavily inspired" by the boom of Vampire: The Masquerade in the early '90s, the 1994 release of the 4th edition bit off borrowed the use of Vampiric "families" leading back to a sole "ancestor". The idea was sucked up by popular among the Warhammer community and as a result Vampires split from the mummies in 5e 1999 with the first Vampire Counts Army Book.

The Vampire Counts are your classic, blood-sucking Slavic fiends and total fucking badasses who almost took over the entire fucking Old World (Warhammer Europe) multiple times before the armies of mankind and their Dwarfish allies got their shit together. Ruthless, intelligent, strong enough to go toe-to-toe with Ogres and evil as hell (except for a few questionably neutral characters), most of the Vampire Counts in the Warhammer universe long to plunge the entire world into a holocaust of darkness and despair, ensuring that the entire land is wholly under their thumb and the foolish mortals know their place as slaves and food. Others pursue dark knowledge for its own sake, like a Lich with a good (but not great) moisturizer; some want to control the entire planet in the shadows like a far more efficient Illuminati, or simply want to tear down the motherfuckers who have it better than themselves. Regardless of motives or behavior, all Vampires suffer from a strong sense of pride and possession; servants and allied are belongings, either as tools or luxury items/pets, and a sense of camaraderie with any other being is extremely rare. But on the plus side all Vampires are free from the cycle of death (as with the right ritual ANY Vampire can be resurrected and there's plenty of downtrodden mortals clamoring to become a powerful Vampire's favorite servant) and Chaos (which can provide them blessings if served willingly but cannot actually interact with their soul; but given the aforementioned pride and entitlement, few Vampires would revere even a Chaos God as their superior and pledge any loyalty to it).

Basically, it's an entire army of Gothic Horror Vampire lords, seeking to kill and conquer nations not just to appease their own massive egos and pride, but to ensure their all-encompassing need to feed. The classic intelligent monsters and consummate overlords of evil, WHFB's Vampire Counts are pretty much the best of what Vampires can be, and sure as fuck a welcome departure from this shit.

History

Three thousand years later, still a pain in the ass. (MG)

A long-as-hell time ago, even by Warhammer Fantasy standards since most human history is in the living memory of Dwarfs and Elves but this story begins alongside THEIR prehistory, there was a powerful Priest of Khemri named Nagash, who was such a thorough badass that he became not only the first Necromancer in Warhammer Fantasy's universe, but literally created the first undead. He learned his Dark Arts from a trio of Dark Elven Sorceresses, who taught him how to manipulate the energies of Chaos using dark rituals involving heresy and human sacrifice. He killed them in a magical duel, poisoning one, ripping another to shreds, and crushing the third before consuming their souls; many on /tg/ would say this is the way to deal with an Elf.

After this, there was no stopping the guy - he communed with Daemons and the spirits of the dead, seized the kingdom for himself from his brother, and used his Necromantic magic to greatly expand his own lifespan. During his tenure as King of Khemri, Nagash decided it would be an awesome idea to run the kingdom as a real-life version of Dwarf Fortress, and all that it implies. He soon had the idea for the creation of a massive megaproject: a necropolis made of pure Warpstone AKA evil magic meth plutonium that came to be known as the Black Pyramid, so named for the black Warpstone that made it up. Suffice to say, his blatant evil scared the shit out of the other kingdoms around Khemri, and -undoubtedly jealous of his epic pyramid- they attempted to kill him. Hell, Nagash was so damn terrifying that the Skaven all united against him, which is probably the only time in history the paranoid little freaks have ever been completely united for any cause at all. Despite having an army of the dead and loyal followers like Arkhan the Black, Nagash was finally deposed, though he fled and would eventually emerge once more as the first Lich, continuing to, as many threats in the Warhammer universe have, be a constant thorn in the side of the armies of man forever until the end of fucking time...and beyond.

After the fall of Nagash, the Black Pyramid went undisturbed for years, since nobody wanted anything to do with a giant monolith that was related to an insane necromancer who pretty much came within striking distance of ruling all the desert kingdoms. Eventually a spoiled princess from one of the neighboring kingdoms named Neferata who had been put in charge of interrogating Nagash's sidekick Arkhan channeled her inner Tomb Raider, breaking in and making off with some of Nagash's magic books, which were later called the Nine Books of Nagash (guess how many there were). Delving into the corrupt lore she found within the tome, Neferata discovered a recipe for the Elixir of Life, a blood-draught that would extend one's lifespan. Doing her own research on it and "refining" it alongside the now-infatuated Arkhan, she eventually created a new version of the Elixir -called the Elixir of Damnation using venom from the scorpion tails of Sphinxes- and then downed it. It almost killed her (permanently) until with Arkhan she managed to overcome the sickness and became an unliving nigh-demigod.

Later she shared it with many of her court (after killing her douchebag brother and taking the throne) which created the very first Vampires, most of whom would found their own Bloodlines by turning mortals which then inherited their strengths, weaknesses, and predilections (how generations after the first are turned isn't known, although it involves drinking the blood of their "parent" and something else since without that something else they either just become a feral brute with a short lifespan or get a pleasurable high; volume of Vampire blood drunk may be the difference). Unfortunately we don't know for certain how many or what the names of most of the other Vampire originals are since each time a complete list was given it mostly consisted of a different number of entirely different names. We know the captain of the guard Abhorash was turned and that he founded the Blood Dragons, her high priest W'soran who would found the Necrarchs was turned and began to worship Nagash as a god, her younger brother Ushoran who was a diplomancing seducer was turned and would create the Strigoi, her husband Vashanesh (although another version names him Ankhat and states he was her attendant) was turned with him founding the Von Carsteins, and Neferata herself created the Lahmians. She had a Cathayan AKA not-Chinese Vampire who she sent on the Warhammer Silk Road to give her control of the east, and in most versions had a female attendant turned for some classic Vampire bisexual fun.

The additional Vampires in the first batch are possibly: Maatmeses, Naamia, Prince Xian Ha Feng, Harakhte, Zhuras. Maatmeses and Harakhte have their own Bloodlines, the Maatmasi and Jade-Blooded respectively which were created for the Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay supplement Night's Dark Masters, but did not make it into the book and instead were released later individually; whether or not this is canon is debatable since the founders are canon to Black Library. Another unnamed seven were created after the first, and two vials were sent with Prince Xian Ha Feng to Cathay to give players a blank check to make OC Bloodlines for unknown reasons.

Naturally, this massive population boom in immortal superpowerful bloodsuckers led to problems. The seeming eternal youthfulness of Neferata and her ilk were hard enough to ignore, but the rampant feeding of their followers quickly became too much to turn a blind eye to. When confronted Neferata herself tried to forcefully convert her cousin, Khalida, and failed. Suffice to say, the other armies of the desert kingdoms of Nehekhara eventually fell upon the vampires of Lahmia like sacks of thunder, and they wound up scattering, regrouping only when they met up with the now-undead Nagash in his new undead warpstone Dwarf Fortress megaproject of Nagashizzar. The Vampires quickly became generals of Nagash's armies, and, with the overpowering forces they added to Nagash's cause, turned on the combined armies of Nehekhara in vengeance, poisoning the land itself, transforming it into a realm of eternal death and began to systematically usher in what would have led to a global zombie apocalypse if not for the intervention of Skaven-brand dickery. With Nagash out of the picture -albeit temporarily- the Vampires swiftly turned to in-fighting and scattered to the far corners of the world.

But not being one to let death keep him down for long, Nagash came back, weakened, but still 1,000 years more pissed off than last time. Losing was not fun to Nagash, and so he went skele-balls deep into Reclaim Fortress Mode to retake Nagashizzar in a single night. But all of his cool artifacts, their craftundeadship being of the highest quality, had been stolen while he has napping. Marshaling another huge undead army to repossess everything that had been pilfered, he sent out word to his Vampire peeps that he was going to fuck up the Empire next. This advance was short-lived - as Sigmar showed up, and, when Nagash called for their aid, the Vampires were too arrogant to actually help out, and Sigmar smashed him down in short order. In retaliation for this double-dickery, Nagash laid out a curse on the Vampires for this offense: for their refusal to come to his aid, they would forever be weak against the power of Sigmar, being vulnerable to sunlight and all sorts of bizarre shit that came in the undead mind of that autistic manchild. The Undead advance fell apart quicker than Boatmurdered, and the bulk of the Vampires retreated to the lands of Sylvania, where the various Vampires would continue to follow their own agendas, not unlike several unrelated groups in the Warhammer 40,000 universe.

There they continued to menace the armies of man with periodic invasions of undead, death, and horror for over 2,500 years. With potentially eternal life to bide their time, all they had to do was quit fucking each other over and amass their forces to wait for a supreme leader to unite the armies of undeath under one banner once more. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

Here be Sparkles

Fuck yes.

One important thing about WHFB vampires is that being turned into one does not automatically turn you evil. It does crank all your personality traits to eleven, almost to a caricature level, so for example a noble warrior turns into a combat maniac with a stick so deep in his ass it could be seen when he smiles, a petty bully with insecurity issues becomes a sadistic psychopath murder machine who does whack shit like having his own mother executed for giving birth to him without his permission, and a slick politician turns into Machiavelian schemer who wraps entire nations in her web of multi-layered intrigues. Similarly a good person given the blood kiss may as well turn into unbearably saintly do-gooder going beyond reason to fight the Thirst and help innocent people. Of course vampirism does not grant the immunity to character development, and feeding on humans, having magical powers, superhuman strength, speed and immortality eventually change most to the worst, pretty much the same way normal people get mad with power. Still, if one just wants to live peacefully with human society, nothing stops him, providing they have the self discipline to resist the rampant thirst or substitute human blood with animal blood, which can do the job even if it is not as invigorating, or at least get human blood through a second hand market, such as mortuaries. Well, there are also Witch Hunters and angry mobs with torches and pitchforks, so it could take a bit of finesse to hide your vampirism. There are hundreds of vampires living peacefully in the Empire and pretty much all other human nations (except Norskans and Kurgan) - and in some places they even built their own secret societies with a thriving blood market. These vampires are not actually the part of the Vampire Count factions, and some of the bloodlines view them as traitors to vampire cause, adding one more reason for them to lay low. According to the WHFRP supplement Night's Dark Masters, becoming a vampire also makes a person more prone to violence, since it essentially makes you immune to being traumatized by blood, gore and death.

Even when it comes to the "evil" vampires, most of them have much more humanity left in them than your average Chaos Lord, and are capable of acts of true selflessness and compassion, especially if it concerns their loved ones or faithful subjects. Neferata herself originally did all that fucked up shit she did out of love for her motherland, as did Ushoran, and Vlad von Karstein even sacrificed himself to save his wife. This does not, however, change the fact that they see humans as pets at best and would not mind slaughtering thousands of them to further their own goals. Still, even Mannfred, who's most undoubtedly the most irredeemably evil vampire ever, is nowhere close to the kinds of evil Nagash did while he was still human.

Vampire Bloodlines

• Von Carstein

The Von Carsteins are your old-school Vampires of the Dracula-inspired "I VANT TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD!" "ZEEE CHIIILLLDREEN OF THE NIIGHTTT VAT SVEET MUZIC DEY MAKE" variety, and their members are more or less parodies of nobility. Since their roots are very recent as opposed to the other major bloodlines which all began at the beginning of the vampire race, they're sort of the nouveau riche of the vampires. Vlad von Carstein, the head of the family, was the one who first tainted the human aristocracy of Sylvania with undeath leading them to become the badass European Vampires they'd eventually become. Vlad took a wife (willingly) named Isabella von Carstein and set out on the first vampire offensive to conquer the Empire. The Von Carsteins are kind of unusual in that they realized that keeping the living populace safe meant easier meals. This didn't mean they eased up on being badass, however - instead, Vlad, and twoof his "sons" violently and/or politically brought a lot of the rebellious nobles in line and actually managed to unify much of Sylvania's vampire nobility for a while during their reigns. When Vlad himself was killed by Wilhelm the Third, his wife Isabella killed herself because she didn't want to be without him, most of their vampiric get squabbled until Konrad, who is in many respects analogous to a WHFB version of Kharn (but completely and utterly stupid in a number of ways), took power and quickly caused the advance to grind to a screeching halt. Konrad eventually got killed (ridiculously), and Mannfred arose, and managed to come back after two major defeats and continue trying to claim the Empire- before changing his mind and resurrecting Nagash, becoming one of his Mortarchs. Von Carsteins use all Vampire Count models in their army, making them the default faction.

• Lahmian

The Lahmians, named for the monster that drinks the blood of Children, are an almost entirely-female (although there ARE males) vampire clan, who descended from Queen Neferata, the woman who started the vampires off in the first place. They are the spy bloodline, keeping humans as happy pets and living in comfortable heated estates instead of crumbling castles. They don't tend to be directly involved in big events, primarily spending their time controlling every government in the world through spies and politics and focusing on maintaining the status quo of happy, stupid, pretty humans. Having pissed off just about every other Vampire clan due to their involvement with this nonsense, Neferata's openly-vampiric followers currently occupy the once-dwarven lands of the World's Edge Mountains (Erryone is getting grudged!). Lahmian groups tend to rely more on psychological effects like Beguile as well as spellcasting, and any non-vampires in the army are ghosts that can be dismissed or skeletons that can be buried or told to lay still until given orders and be told to sit in the crypt to be passed off as inanimate ancestors when Witch Hunters come to investigate them.

• Blood Dragon

Formed by Abhorash, the fuckingest of Vampire Warriors, the Blood Dragons are the martial vampires, and fucking awesome. Honorable to a fault, though still mostly evil-as-hell, they will never refuse a challenge and excel at absolutely curb-stomping anything put against them in combat. Consummate warriors, they live to fight, and they believe that only cowards feed upon the weak - the only ones that Blood Dragons will willingly feed on are powerful warriors and monsters (from both Destruction and the Order alignments of the game). As such, they are capable of resisting the thirst better than the other clans, and, due to their badassery, are arguably one of the two favorite factions of Vampires for /tg/ in the setting.

• Necrarch

Following distantly in the footsteps of Nagash, the Necrarchs are Necromancer vampires and loremasters. Whereas other Vampires focus on sorcery, martial pride, or a mix of the two, the Necrarchs focus entirely on Necromancy and thus have vast armies of the undead at their disposal. A common joke is that they'd be studious gits and/or faggots.... If they didn't GET SHIT DONE. They give even less shit about the thirst than the Blood Dragons, often being too consumed in their researches and experiments to remember about it, and as a result they look like withered corpses most of the time, and for most of them this becomes the permanent state, so even if the do start feeding properly they would not revert to human-like looks.

• Strigoi

The Strigoi are horrid-looking mutant Vampires, closer to Ghouls than traditional Vampire-kind. They not only drink their prey's blood - they go all the fuck out and devour their prey's flesh as well. They eat anything alive or un-alive, including other vampires and each other. Hated and feared even by their own kind, they are easily the kings of ripping and Tearing and have more Ghouls at their disposal than any other bloodline. Do not let the fact that they are freakish abominations convince you that they are not FUCKING BADASS. They tend to rampage wherever the fuck they want, and as a result they step on the toes of the other bloodlines a fair amount. A common tactic is for the bloodline finding them inconvenient is to send them to another bloodline to be dealt with, killing a bird and annoying another with one stone.

• Miscellaneous

There are other, smaller bloodlines. All of them are recent and not strong enough to warrant much attention. Among them are a group of vampire pirates, vampire Norsemen, and bloodsucking Brits living in Albion. There are also two more major bloodlines that live in Ind and Cathay. The Cathayan vampires are the closest we get to "good guys" among the undead (barring exceptions like Genevieve), being on generally good terms with the Dragon Emperor as long as they stay out of his way. Many of them are nobles and heroes, though they take great pains to conceal their undead nature. The Indan Vampires are worshiped as one of the many gods of that strange land, and are said to resemble wampyres.

On the Tabletop

See Tactics/Vampire Counts

Originally vampires were but just a cog in the greater Undead army. But come sixth edition Undead had been schismed into two armies, with the Vampire Counts getting the lion's share while those fucking mummies made off with what scant few ranged options Undead ever had. But we all know who got the last laugh in the end.

See Also

• Abhorash, the most badass Vampire in all of Warhammer.
• Vlad von Carstein, also known as Chad von Carstein.
• Isabella von Carstein, Vlad's bitch.
• Konrad von Carstein, bucking the Warhammer trend of Too Dumb To Live in favor of Too Insane To Live.
• Mannfred von Carstein, also known as Mannchild. Directly responsible for the last chance of saving the world failing.
• Ushoran, the unluckiest of the bunch.
• W'soran/Melkhior, nerd.
• Neferata, the mommy of all Vampires.

External Links

Carpe Noctem, the main Vampire Counts army forum

Playable Factions in Warhammer Fantasy Battle
Human Kingdoms:	The Empire of Man - Bretonnia
Elves:	High Elves - Dark Elves - Wood Elves
Dwarven:	Dwarfs - Chaos Dwarfs
Undead:	Tomb Kings - Vampire Counts
Heirs of the Old Ones:	Lizardmen
Greenskins	Orcs - Goblins
Ogrekind	Ogre Kingdoms
Servants of Chaos	Warriors of Chaos - Daemons of Chaos - Beastmen
Skavenkind	Skaven