Warp

ALL THE CRAZY SHIT GOES DOWN HERE.

A mortal's limited rendition of the Warp.

Also called the "Empyrean" or "Immaterium," the Warp is a sort of parallel dimension to the real world. Some say that it is actually the just a far-future name for "Hyperspace", because of the similarities. Plus, it would be practical if one was also to take the Star Wars/Star Trek/Doctor Who/Every other sci-fi series ever into the fictional universe. It is primarily composed of psychic energy, shaped by the emotions of those living in the real world, especially those with psychic power. It is used by most major factions for faster-than-light travel and communication, because the laws of physics don't apply there.

If you're not a Chaos god, a Chaos Spess Mehreen or a Daemon, you probably have no business being here. Which of course means that all the sapient races of the galaxy flock to the Warp like boy scouts to a knot-tying badge, except for the Tau (who are only just discovering the horrors awaiting them here) and the Necrons (Which haet it).

Think of the warp as a mixture between Hell, the everchanging chaos of Limbo The Far Realm and Hyperspace, it works a bit like that. However this doesn't mean there are no benevolent entities in warp, the problem is they interfere with Materium once in a billirion years and when they do they actually do nothing of significance (ie. Watchers in the dark, they don't do shit, just watch and once in a while warn a random person that can't do shit about whatever minor god of rape they are watching).

Warp travel is used to speed everything up so it doesn't take forever to get to places. Unfortunately, the Imperium of Man has shitty protection against it, and effectively plays a game of Russian roulette in hopes that they wouldn't get themselves killed speeding towards wherever the Empra tells them to.

History

Every little thought or emotion affects the Empyrean to some degree, most people can't do much to the warp on their own, but lots of people thinking similar thoughts or feeling similar things will have an pronounced effect, especially if said people are psychic. During the time of the dinosaurs and before, the old ones were cranking out powerful psykers like there was no tomorrow to fight the C'tan and the Necrons, shitting out creatures like Orks, Eldar, Slann, and who knows what else to fight the endless tide of mummy robots and star eating, life energy nomming lovecraftian energy gods, and they still lost. All the RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEGGGG!!!!!! felt during the fighting by all those powerfully psychic races as they fought and died changed the warp in the milky way from a calm place where you could get anywhere you wanted without much trouble and do so very quickly into the hell hole it is now, minus the daemons. Instead, there were squid jelly fish things called Enslavers who would mind control psykers and eventually turn them into a warp portal which would both kill the psyker and allow more Enslavers to come out.

The Eldar hid like a bunch of pussies in the webway system while the few remaining old ones who weren't killed by the Necrons and the C'tan were wiped out by the Enslavers, the Slann...did something, and the Ork survived -- OI! SHUT IT, YOU! *STOMP*

'cuz orks iz neva' beaten in battle, 'spechiallee not by schome jellee 'eaded grotz. An' dem necron boyz an' der C'tan godz went an' slept cuz dey 'ad no moahr food ta eat. Den dem jellee 'eaded grotz left an' da orkz were da boss o' da 'hole galaxie, but den dem puny Eldarz came outta 'idin an' gave us a good stompin'. Den millionz a yearz later da humiez' big boss; I fink dey call 'im da Empraz a' somefink waz born, den wayz later da humies got sick so much dat da big tub a lard called Nurgle was born but 'e 'ad no kunnin' see and den dem Daemon boyz started poppin' up in da warp, den later da puny humiez did so much fightin' wit demselves dat da grot called Khorne waz born, den dey got sick some more cuz dey were grotz and Nurgle found 'iz kunnin'. Den de humiez got more kunnin' an' dat runty squig named Tzeentch waz born.

Den da humiez mekboyz built dere ships an' got into space an' met da Orkz an' Eldarz and got more an' more kunnin', but dey never could beat da Eldarz cuz dere teknologee and weirdboyz waz betta an dey were moahr kunnin', an' dey could neva' beat da Orkz cuz Orkz iz neva' beat in battle. Cuz da pansies had no one good ta fight da Eldarz got lazee an' 'ad played so much dat da git called Zlaannecksh waz born and made a big 'ole in reality dat ate all da central planetz a' dere 'empirez an' made dis big 'sykik scream dat killed a bunch more a' dem puny Panzees. Den dere godz got a good stompin from Slaanesh who was moahr killy den de Eldar Godz, da Eldarz' big boss Azurian got stomped by Zlaanecksh, but da Eldarz' killiest god did some good fightin' with Zlaanecksh while dere tricksee god hid like a grot. Den Khorne came an told Zlaanecksh dat da Eldarz killy god waz 'iz an' gave 'im a good stompin that broke da Eldarz killy god inta pieces.

Things to do in the Warp

If you're NOT Chaos or Chaos affiliated GET THE FUCK OUT AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stop at the warp equivilent of a truck stop, a certain chaos god may or may not be waiting to rape you in more ways than one.

External Links

• [1] This might be an accurate representation of an unaligned daemon of pure chaos. Disregard ponies.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDtCBj2bZoM This is pretty much what happens in the Warp if you don't have a Gellar field to protect your soft, human entrails.