Elfslayer Chronicles

In december of 2009, a fa/tg/uy posted the story of his campaign. After the prince of a human kingdom had wandered into an elven kingdom was was presumably killed by the xenophobic elves with a "shoot first don't bother asking questions" policy, the king declared war on the elves, and send the party in.

What had actuall happened though, is that the prince was injured by a fall from his horse and was taken in by the elves, nursed to health and was in a gay relationship with the captain of the royal guard. The elves were prepared to send the prince back home to avoid hostilities, but the party didn't went with that. Instead, they murdered the prince and blamed his death on his elvish lover.

As you might have guessed by now, the DM was a yaoi fangirl. To her credit though, she didn't throw a fit or went "Rocks fall, everyone dies" on the party; instead she pitted the elves against the party in an attempt to discover the truth and bring the true killers to justice.

What happened next was a campaign-long game of cat and mouse between the OP and his cohorts against the DM. For four weeks /tg/ got to enjoy the brilliant scheming and planning of the OP, being one step ahead of the DM at every turn. It was like just like Death Note, except with elves.

It involves elf-murder, plans going exactly as planned, and a half-orc woman raping OP's character. It is a must read for every neckbeard.

Dramatis Persona

There were two groups in the game: those gathered behind the OP and those on the DM's side.

• OP played a human Illusion Mage, and was one of the most magnificent of bastards to ever post on /tg/.
• OP's second in command was a female half-orc Ranger, who went beyond the call of duty to provide an alibi for the night of the murder.
• A pair of Dwarven twins: a Fighter and a Valourous Bard who brofisted all the time, had a theme song, and during interrogation using Discern Lies by the elves one of them would make a correct statement, and the other would confirm the story. Since the bard had insane CHA, and the fighter had it as his dump stat, this truly fucked up the interrogation. Dwarves love to make elves suffer.
• A human artificer, who did little during the campaign, and was likely there just to watch the campaign world burn.

Then there's the DM's side.

• The DM was a yaoi fangirl who was obsessed with elves, and tried to stop the OP from carrying out his plans, all within the confines of the system. It is tragic that someone who is skilled with the system falls to the side of yaoi, and she should put her knowledge into less unclean campaigns.
• A weeaboo Tiefling Swordmage who based his character on several anime and vidja characters, who had a penchant for flipping his shit every time OP's plan went just as planned, and ranged from being a hurdle for the OP to outright threatening him IC.

The Story

Part the first
Part the second
Part the third
Part the fourth
Part the fifth

The Aftermath

One of the posters scetched the image that celebrated the OP's then-unsure victory: sit on a throne next to an open window, granting a view of the burning elven forest. His henchwoman at his right hand, the dorf brothers on his left, brofisting. The weeaboo tied and gagged at his feet, and the heads of the prince and the elven captain nailed over the throne, the words "DEVIANT" and "MURDERER" on small plaques under them.

And in the end, isn't this what all true warriors strife for?

TL; DR verion

Elves die. Just as planned.