High Lords of Terra

Check out these muthafucka's! Four of the High Lords of Terra. From left to right: the Inquisitorial Representative, the Lord Commander Militant of the Imperial Guard, the Master of the Administratum and the Fabricator-General of Mars. Not pictured: common sense.

The High Lords of Terra are the twelve wrinkled ballsacks members of the Senatorum Imperialis, the Council of the High Lords of Terra, and the rulers of the Imperium of Man in the Emperor's absence.

Overview

After Horus got his heresy on, the Emperor had to "ascend" the Golden Throne to keep himself alive. Since he wasn't dead, Roboute Guilliman reasoned that a new leadership was needed to guide the Imperium. He set up the High Lords from the old Council of Terra with himself as Lord Commander of the Imperium, inviting the heads of the Administratum, the Officio Assassinorum and the Adeptus Mechanicus to the table as well. As time went on, the Ecclesiarchy, the Inquisition, the Navigators and others were also invited. While it's plainly evident that they are not making the Imperium better, there is some evidence that they may be making the Imperium worse than it actually needs to be (although whether this is due to malice or incompetence is anyone's guess, most people are betting on the latter). Exactly what they decide on isn't clear either. "Making decisions that affect the whole galaxy" sounds like a lofty purpose but really all the different departments seem to do things by themselves. The Space Marine chapters decide where they fight, the Inquisition governs itself, the Navigators govern themselves, the Administratum is like a machine just left running and doesn't even change gears....so unless they are just the people with the stamps to approve everything, we need some more fluff on what they are doing GW!

Well good news, I guess: as of 6th they are becoming more and more pro-active.

The High Lords are theoretically a dynamic body that changes based on the needs of the Imperium. In reality though the same nine old fucks decide everything millennium in and millennium out. Said fucks include:

• Ecclesiarch: The head of the Adeptus Ministorum, or Ecclesiarchy, was granted a seat in M32, which became permanent three centuries later. During the Age of Apostasy, the Ecclesiarch briefly usurped the Master of the Administratum as most powerful High Lord. Goge Vandire solved that problem by being head of both, then went nuts with power and had to be killed by the Sisters of Battle. As of M41, the Ecclesiarch is considered tied with the Fabricator-General and the Grand Master of Assassins for second most powerful High Lord.
• Fabricator-General of Mars: The head of the Adeptus Mechanicus will occasionally take time from meditating on the Omnissiah or running his own nation to help run the Imperium.
• Grand Master of Assassins: The head of the Officio Assassinorum, the Grand Master is constantly watched by the other High Lords, out of concern that he might assassinate the others. Mostly because one Grand Master did. Funny story.
• Grand Provost Marshal: Head of the Adeptus Arbites. Makes sure the Imperium's myriad jackboots know whose skulls to bust.
• Inquisitorial Representative: A member of the Inquisition sent to insure that the Emperor's pet psychopaths are up to date on what laws to enforce. An Inquisitor's term is 5 years after which he has to step down to make place for another. It is interesting to note that while there is hefty political competition for the other seats, the seat of Inquisitorial Representative carries little merit because it prevents an Inquisitor to carry out his primary duty: to directly protect the Imperium from its many enemies. They are selected, often unanimously, from Inquisitor Lords from the sectors near Terra, granting the individual in person the title of Inquisitor Lord Terra even after his service ends. On the plus side, the Inquisition is mostly runs on an "influence" system, and becoming the Inquisitorial representative give the Lord Inquisitor in question a substantial boost in influence.
• Master of the Adeptus Astra Telepathica: The guy in charge of making sure the Imperium's giant network of psychic email servers don't go to shit, and the training of various kinds of psykers within the Imperium.
• Master of the Administratum: The head of the Imperial bureaucracy. While the the Master of the Administratum is an equal with the rest of the High Lords on paper, in practice he is considered the "head" of the Senatorum and most powerful of the High Lords, and they are fucking territorial about that.
• Master of the Astronomican: While the Adeptus Astronomica isn't nearly as large or influential as the other members' branches, they keep the light of the Astronomican burning. The Astronomican in turn keeps every other High Lord from being fucked inside out by daemons on their way to meetings, so they let this guy have a chair.
• Paternoval Envoy: Representing the Navis Nobilite, this guy makes sure that the Navigators have a say on what's going on, so they won't get declared abominations to the holy human form. Unlike the other posts, he is not the head of the combined Navigator houses, but a representative from the Paternova, the currently effective head house of the Navis Nobilite. The Paternova cannot attend meetings because he stays in the Palace of the Navigators due to...changes he underwent upon assuming the post, which would cause mass rioting among the populace questions among the less informed. As a result, the Paternoval Envoy is usually from a weak house who couldn't upset the balance of power among the Navigators.

The remaining three positions are chaired on a rotating basis by people too weak and ineffectual to get uppity. They include:

• Abbess Sanctorum of the Adepta Sororitas: The head of the Adepta Sororitas. The only member of the High Lords who is a woman by default, she is elected from the leaders of every order of the Sororitas. Like the Inquisitorial Representative, there is no real race for this position. It is in fact considered a penance to become the Abbess Sanctorum, which given the other assholes in the Senatorum is not that far from the truth. Before the Abbess is formally induced she is to take a pilgrimage to San Leor, the homeworld of the Daughters of the Emperor. The current would-be Abbess, Sister Sabrina of the Order of the Ermine Mantle, disappeared during her pilgrimage. Tradition dictates there cannot be another Abbess elected until the current one's fate has been determined, so the seat of the Abbess remains empty as of now.
• Captain-General of the Adeptus Custodes: Got on the council by virtue of being the Emperor's BFF and the leader of the Adeptus Custodes, and has very little to actually say about galactic affairs. Serves mainly to make sure the High Lords keep their shit together and to tear the next Goge Vandire a new asshole. Only the second-most useless High Lord.
• Cardinal of the Holy Synod of Terra: Some old guy from a group of old guys who spend all their time arguing about slight deviations in doctrine. Their only useful function is electing the head of the Ecclesiarchy who gets them their chair on the council. Mentioning that this is a conflict of interest is considered heresy.
• Chancellor of the Estate Imperium: The Imperium's head paper pusher. Seriously, he's a glorified secretary. The most useless of the High Lords.
• [Militant of the Imperial Guard]: The leader of the Emprah's hammer. Nominally in charge of every man woman and child in the Imperium with a flashlight to point, although the bureaucratic distances and sheer, incomprehensibly large numbers of personnel involved means that he mostly dictates uniform and grooming standards, and maybe operational doctrine if the bigwigs at the Departmento Tactica are feeling indulgent.
• Lord Commander of the Segmentum Solar: Commander of the Imperium's forces (those that listen to the military bureaucracy anyway) in charge of guarding humanity's chewy center.
• Lord High Admiral of the Imperial Navy: Having discarded the shiniest of flying space cathedrals in favour of the shiniest of desks.
• Speaker for the Chartist Captains: Spokesperson of the Merchant Fleet, this High Lord defends the interests of the various trade captains within the Imperium. They are similar to but less powerful than Rogue Traders. There are four levels of Merchant Charters: from flying fixed and limited routes to being allowed to travel through all of Imperial space within the Segmentum.

Trivia

• The authors of the Horus Heresy series are collectively referred to as the "High Lords of Terra" on Black Library's blog. According to Dan Abnett, this is intended as self-deprecation. Yes, even the makers of 40K canon think the High Lords of Terra are useless.
• All tea and biscuits are the property of the High Lords of Terra and no one elses. They are needed for the constant meetings the High Lords have (most likely to decide what colour to paint the Imperial Palace's walls this season).
• The High Lords do decide on foundings of Space Marines and assign the title of Warmaster to special individuals undertaking Imperial crusades. However considering how many chapters turn renegade or do their own thing and how many crusades seem to fall into failure, this could be further proof of the High Lords' collective uselessness.