M'kar
M'kar the Reborn is a Daemon Prince of Chaos Undivided and the biggest failure since Abaddon as well as Matt Ward's favourite whipping post. His history of defeats reads like a who's who of the Imperium, all queuing up to bitch slap him. His one notable achievement is banishing everybody's favorite Mary Sue, Kaldor Draigo, to the warp. How this makes any sense when he has been repeatedly and humiliatingly defeated by lesser combatants is unclear, but can probably be blamed like everything else on Matt fucking Ward.
According to Graham McNeill's Ultramarines novel series and Dan Abnett's Horus Heresy novel Know No Fear (both of which one should read if they want to see Ultramarines look decent) , M'kar was once Maloq Kartho, a Dark Apostle of the Word Bearers. During the Horus Heresy, Kartho participated in Kor Phaeron's assault on Calth, one of the worlds of Ultramar, where the Word Bearers managed to poison Calth's star to give off extremely deadly radiation that can kill even Space Marines unshielded, and force its people underground. When Kor Phaeron ran like a bitch after getting one of his hearts ripped out by Roboute Guilliman (though after he beat the shit out of Rawbutt, problem Ward?), Kartho was left behind to continue the slaughter of the remaining Imperials. In this he was challenged by Remus Ventanus, Captain of the Ultramarines 4th company. During a climactic battle, the enemy commanders faced each other, and through a series of largely forgotten events, the Ultramarine Captain managed to stab Kartho in the chest with the so-called Shard of Erebus. In light of his complete and utter failure to succeed, the Chaos Gods raised Kartho to the status of Daemon Prince of Chaos Undivided. The requirements for Daemonhood were fairly soft back then. (They did it for the LULs, he's the 40k version of the fat chick that gets voted prom queen and doesn't realize it's a cruel joke.)
THIS SAID. He DOES actually possess an ultramsurfs venerable dreadnought...as in, he overwhelms and possesses an Ultramarine dreadnought of millenia of experience. So Ward's special snowflake army? Apparently they fall to Chaos. And quite easily, too, given that this was, again, an ancient dreadnought being possessed by a daemon prince who is perhaps (definitely) the most laughable and useless daemon prince in existence. Now picture what would happen if, say, a Lord of Change went after Cato Sicarius or any of the other ultra-snowflakes...
No, no, it's ok, you can smile. It IS a pretty hilarious mental image, after all.
History
- M31: Contributes to the Horus Heresy by getting stabbed in the chest with a dagger. Inexplicably elevated to daemonhood by the powers of chaos. (For the LULs).
- M Unknown: Chases Ollanius Pius and friends across time and space for bit, banished by a teenage girl screaming his name. Blood of the Gods, M'kar, we could have accepted getting your ass kicked by Ollanius Pius (honestly, we'd have actually thought a little better of you), but really?
- 799.M41: Attacks Acralem, killed by a young Kaldor Draigo.
- 878.M41: Attacks Ultramar, routed by Cato Sicarius.
- 935.M41: Seizes a star fort briefly, before being torn to ribbons by Marneus Calgar. According to McNeill, this was actually a lie, and M'kar was instead bound to the star fort's warp core, and subsequent tales are implied to be propaganda.
- 965.M41: Attempts to entrap and tempt Mephiston into Chaos worship, choked to death.
- 997.M41: Transforms an agri-world into a chaos world using an artifact, only to lose the world to the Tyranids and the artifact to the Grey Knights.
- 999.M41: Attacks Acralem again, killed by Kaldor Draigo again. Manages to use the last of his power to throw Draigo in to the warp and curse him.
- 835999.M41: Back again after an absurdly convoluted plan. New army, attacks Ultramar again with the help of Honsou of the Iron Warriors, juiced by the nearly limitless power of a star fort. Killed by Varro Tigurius, Marneus Calgar, and Cato Sicarius (or Uriel Ventris, depending on whether you read Ward or Graham McNeill's version. Hint: Go with McNeill, it's awesome).
- Added: Turns out the absurdly convoluted plan was a result of Craftworld Iyanden seeing either M'kar or the Smurfs were going to destroy them so they sent them both up to kill each other. So now we can add Eldar puppet to the list.
- 835999.M41: Eldar puppet: But to be fair. Who isn't?