Squat

From 2d4chan
Revision as of 23:40, 13 February 2012 by 1d4chan>Tim (Undo revision 107512 by 109.156.34.77 (talk) GW have outright said it's because they didn't fit the setting and Ratlings never had a backstory to speak pf)
Jump to navigation Jump to search

A Squat is a space dwarf. They used to exist in Warhammer 40k (with a planned Codex mentioned in the Second Edition Codex: Imperial Guard) until somebody got embarrassed and decided their homeworld would be eaten by Tyranids. It is popularly believed that Games Workshop sends out teams to assassinate, kidnap, or otherwise inconvenience anyone who dares mention them. One possibility is that the Squat nobles demanded that some impossible-to-acquire item be put in each of their rooms, and thus locked up the entire working class of Squats, and the whole race starved. Another theory is that Creed is using his tactical genius to hide them until the final showdown with Chaos. It's kinda likely that, what with their "We haz teknologeez!", being Dwarves, drinking, not being assholes, and generally not being depressing, Games Workshop decided they weren't grimdark enuff, and subsequently fed them to the Tyranids (who exist to eat Games Workshop's mistakes, obviously), and at the same time branding the mention of <censored for heresy> as heresy. Heresy - the perfect excuse to retcon!

Isn't the fact that they hate Orks and Eldar just a confirmation that Eldar ARE space elves? Not like anybody thinks otherwise, but GW (and a lot of 'hardcore' fans) tend to explode in RAEG if the space-elves are called space-elves. Which they aren't. At ALL. GRRRRR.

They're now /tg/'s version of the Candlejack meme, since mentioning them gets GW to send death squads after you. Fortunately, the two memes cancel one another out.

Fa/tg/uys fear that the Sisters of Battle will become 'Squatted' (be made obsolete). However, recent updates in White Dwarf and leaked pictures of new designs make this seem unlikely.


Squats Sighted With Bigfoot on the Island of Mu

It has always been suspected that Squats weren't simply lost to a Tyranid attack. After all, men don't get their legs broken just for discussing people who have been eaten. Rather, the Squats probably saw something they weren't supposed to see and had to "disapear" for a while. Come to think of it, there is a race called the "Demiurg" who are short, drunken miners with a love for technology and a hatred of Greenskins and Eldar. Strangely enough, they popped up after the Squats disappeared; it's probably a coincidence, though. They sell their services to the TAU of all people, so it must be.