Battle for Dominus Pillowus
On a backwater Imperial planet. a Guardsman buys a Celestine Bodypillow from a passing Rogue Trader. Fearing reprise from an angry Commissar, he tattles on the Commissar's xenofucking habits to a Priest. Said priest turns out to be an undercover Inquisitor investigating Commissar Xenofucker. The Inquisitor begins a sting operation and the local Regiment splits between the loyalists and the Taufuckers.
Characters
This section includes all characters involved in this clusterfuck.
Imperial Forces
Imperial Guard
- Commissar Xenofucker:
- Saint Waifu Commander:
- Sanctioned Psyker who was almost raped by Daemonette:
- Marcus:
- Guardsman who was almost raped by Eldar:
- Assortment of Kriegers:
- Random Harmonica Guardsman:
Space Marines
Penicillus, Apothecary of the Deathwing
Ultramarine Bro
Minotaurs
Blood Ravens
Deathwatch
Sisters of Battle
Living Saint Celestein (not Celestine)
Living Saint Celestine (not Celestein)
Canoness Olivia III, Order of the August Vigil
Sister Lydia
Animal-loving Sister Hospitaller
Mechanicus
Enginseer Mike L33: Used an Earthshaker Cannon on Daemon Prince Commissar Xenofucker.
Magos Xenobiologis: Realised entire biosphere of planet was in fact devolved Tyranids.
Dominus Exitium Imperator-Class Battle Titan responsible for the recovery of the Æonic Orb. Got smacked about by Orknids
Archmagos Magnificus Apparatos Responsible for the deployment of Titan legions on the planet as a means to both capture the Orb and avoid an Exterminatus
Inquisition
Xeno Hunting Inquisitor:
Ordo Malleus Inquisitor: Showed up late to the party, and when he found out about the Tau-Slaanesh-Daemon Engune-Craftworld, left for the nearest Imperial Port to get drunk.
Xenos
Eldar
Thirsty Farseer: Was infected by a disease made by Nurgle, who wanted to boost Eldar birthdates so as to make Isha happy. Tried to rape Guardsman, but Psykerbro kept her away.
Constantiy-respawning Eldar: Died over and over again, eventually defecting to Imperial forces. Was a titan at one point in time.
Dark Eldar: Went raiding. Some of them took advantage of the vorefest between the Hive Fleet and the Daemon Engine Craftworld to get more suffering and ecstasy.
Tyranid/Ork/Orkanids?
Gitsmacka
DokTank
Hivefleet
Planetary Hivemind
Rapevines
Necrons
Necron Lord I
Necron Lord II
Unnamed Destroyer Lord
Æonic Orb
Tau
Ethereal
Slaneshau Leader
Slaneshi Diplothot
Chaos Forces
Slaaneshi
Daemonette: Developed a hug fetish. Has a crush on Psykerbro.
Chaos Lord Vögeln: Chaos Lord of the "Alluring Ostriches" warband. Failed in his mission by Slaanesh him/her/itself to cum on the Celestine Bodypillow, and was turned into Chaos Spawn for his failure. Wait no-AAASJEHDUBEUJSIJSJ
See Also
External Links
Gallery
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