Dwarf
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A dwarf (or more properly, Dorf) is a short guy who is made of muscle and beard and awesome. No member of dwarf society can function without alcohol, even their infants are made to chug a whole keg of ale down before mommy ever lets the baby near her nipples. They like to live in dwarven fortresses. Dwarf characters should have one or a combination of the words "beer" "beard" "stone" "iron" "hammer" or "axe" in their names.
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Dwarves will build elaborate floodgates and use them as weapons, even as their clothes rot from their bodies.
