Elf

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Elves are forest-dwelling sisses; the antithesis to the manly dwarf race. Elves are the chosen race of many Mary Sues in the fantasy setting thanks to their pointed ears, slender builds and and ever-perky breasts. Though related, they are not in fact eldar due primarily that one is found in space with guns that shoot shurikens and the other live in forests and have bows that loose arrows. Unless you're playing something crazy like Spelljammer. In all actuality female elves are the more manly of the elven race since they're the only ones to ever leave the forests and attempt to do manly things.

Even this masculine elf is actually female.

Or that could be why they're always scantily-clad and the fantasy of neckbeards everywhere.

Typical Elven Traits and Habits

Some people take this shit too far.
DM of the Rings webcomic
  • Having long/pointed ears
  • Hugging trees
  • Eating granola
  • Kissing bunnies
  • Prancing in meadows
  • Being sissies or girls
  • Bringing useless cloth to your dwarven fortress

All elves are female until proven otherwise.

In much the same way that a single dwarf can kill ten orcs, ten orcs can easily rape an elf. Though it doesn't count, cause they're elves.

Uses of elves

  • Slaves/pets.
  • 35 elf bone bolts can be made from one elf.

Elves in 4th Edition

4th Edition elves happen to be the all-around mechanically best race in the game for nearly every class (yes, a bugbear fighter will get outdamaged on average by an elf fighter) due to their Elven Accuracy racial encounter power, the flat-out best racial power ever, which can be upgraded further with the Elven Precision racial feat. This mechanical advantage, of course, comes with the price of being an elf.