Archaon

The Everchosen, Lord of the End Times, Chaos Incarnate, Herald of the Apocalypse, Warlord of the forces of Chaos United, Scourge of the Empire.

He is Archaon... and he is not a fun guy to be around.

He started out as a devout servant of Sigmar, just as Failbaddon started out a good guy. That's about where the similarities end. One day Archaon, after a long day of being a bad-ass, decided to do a little light reading. Finding a little book whose cover caught his interest, he flipped through the pages. This book being, of course, completely evil. When Archaon saw the horrible blasphemies contained in the book, he flew into a RAGE! This rage was so intense, that even in another universe, the Angry Marines felt a disturbance unlike any they had ever felt before. Their rage was NOTHING compared to Archaon. He then proceeded to slaughter his family, renounce his name, and take off into the Chaos Wastes. He was then chosen to be the Everchosen of Chaos.

Accomplishments

He, by sole fact of being a badass, did what no other Everchosen could do. He gathered all of the Treasures of Chaos,in the process defeating hundreds of monsters in pitch dark, stole the horse Dorghar (steed of the apocalypse) from Agrammon, resisting the visage of Slaanesh, killed a Bloodthirster with its own whip, resisted every disease that Nurgle could throw at him, made it through a maze designed by Tzeentch, and then led the most ferocious and largest army of Chaos Warriors against the Empire. And then Grimgor headbutted him in the junk. Since then, he has seemingly disappeared, and is supposedly gathering his forces for another attack.

So far, he also has the distinction of being the first non-Northman Everchosen. As his predecessors, Morkar the Uniter and Asavar Kul, are a Norseman and a Kurgan, respectively. So far, the only race that hasn't produced an Everchosen are the Hung. But GW seems to have forgotten that the Hung exist (or are secretly racist against Asian people).

Things for Archaon to do

-Find that orc who blindsided him and make him pay

-Find a way to bring orcs back to life, so he may torture, then kill, that damn orc again

-Repeat until bored (might take a while)

-By the time he's done, time will have flown by, say, about 40,000 years

-Find Abaddon, beat him to death with his own arms, and assume command so that Chaos might actually get something done

-Start spreading Chaos the only way he knows how, at the tip of his sword, no more pussyfooting around chaos

-March on Holy Terra itself

-Beat the Tyranids into submission, then use them against the Imperium

-Kill the Tau. To. The. Last. One.

-Kill the Eldar

-Kill the Dark Eldar, he doesn't care that they are evil, he's more evil

-Kill the Necrons

-Kill the Orks (in memorium of his old friend Grimgor)

-Pimp slap Valkia the Bloody, so that she may finally learn a hoe's place.

-Have a drink with Wulfrik.