Rage

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Revision as of 18:55, 20 April 2016 by 1d4chan>Evilexecutive (Newerfag, you accidentally removed the second .div, so the twilight tab's styling bled into the remainder of the article below it.)
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The famous Rageface

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF... Rage is the most important fuel on which the neckbeard runs (with meatbread coming at a close second), and the only way to get his share of rage is to grapple the troll whenever he appears on /tg/. Here is a summary of the things /tg/ hates and the most common sources of trolling.

  • Sometimes known as Raeg, never to be confused with Raege, or there *will* be rage. Also, this has nothing to do with that boring 2011 video game.

Things that /tg/ Loves to Hate

  • Twilight, and its author Stephanie Meyer by extension: Uncollapse this tab at your own peril

==Twilight== is a 4-part book series/5-part movie series featuring the least menacing vampire in the history of literature and the thinly veiled author avatar that loves him. For reasons nobody can seem to understand this made it wildly successful among the hormonal pre-teen crowd as well as legions of sexually frustrated housewives and ruthlessly mocked by everyone else.

To make an unnecessarily long story short, a Mary Sue named Bella gets saved from a car crash by Edward, another Marty Stu and he looks all emo and shit. After half a book of plodding romantic crap, we learn that he's a vampire (as though the sunken eyes and pale skin weren't a massive tipoff). But it's okay -- him and his family are vegetarian vampires, they don't drink human blood. Oh, and sunlight doesn't kill them, it makes them sparkle like Tinkerbell on a six-coffee bender. Oh, and he and his family all have superpowers as if they were the vampire Justice League.

Things become even more retarded when her best friend is revealed to be a werewolf, and the least convincing love triangle of all time ensues, inasmuch as it is explicitly stated over the next two books that she'll choose Edward. Meanwhile, various other shit involving the not-Catholic vampire Illuminati among other things happens, most of which is glossed over or covered in the most hamfisted way ever. This is itself combined with said Mary Sue insisting on being turned into a vampire only to be told they need to get married for some reason. Stupid, yes. But if you view it as a metaphor for sex and keep in mind that the author is a devout Mormon, it makes a lot more sense. Incidentally, said Mormonism is also why we get such peculiar euphemisms as "Holy crow" in the book. No, really.

The last book of the series can be summed up as follows: I'm gonna die a horrible death during childbirth, and my kid's gonna look like a god-forsaken hellspawn all because I fucked a vampire. Oh wait, hold the phone-- it's ok, he's going to turn me into a vampire too, and mystical vampire magic will heal my spine so I can frolic through the forest in heels and a cocktail dress while my werewolf ex-boyfriend tries to fuck my baby hellspawn daughter. (Speculation that this is a way for Meyer to passive-aggressively vent about being married and having kids at an early age is unconfirmed. But seriously, anyone can tell that it was intended.)

Gallery

  • File:Neckbeardrage.gif
  • Rage and TV!

    Rage and TV!

  • As long as the Sun, the Moon and the Earth exist, everything will RAGE. Wait, wrong anime...

    As long as the Sun, the Moon and the Earth exist, everything will RAGE. Wait, wrong anime...

  • An improbability: THE RAGE HAS ENDED.

    An improbability: THE RAGE HAS ENDED.

  • More probable: Time for rape.

    More probable: Time for rape.

  • The Emperor is displeased.

    The Emperor is displeased.

  • ALL ABOARD THE RAGE TRAIN

    ALL ABOARD THE RAGE TRAIN

  • Now in HD, for the new decade.NO THE RAGE HAS RAGED INTO COLOR

    Now in HD, for the new decade.NO THE RAGE HAS RAGED INTO COLOR

  • Sister of Battle initiate Kanaya Mayram shows you how rage is done. (With a chainsaw)

    Sister of Battle initiate Kanaya Mayram shows you how rage is done. (With a chainsaw)

In summary

RAAAAAAAAAAAGGE!!!!!!

See Also

P.S: If your Rage can be heard a) on the other side of the Planet, b) in Space, c) in Limbo AND d) by your own Son twenty Years into the Future, then you're doing something right! Or not. Depends on who's at the recieving end.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5VGZebsmEA

Also, read this. Seriously, keep reading you won't be disappointed. http://1d4chan.org/wiki/File:Slaanesh's_sacrifice.pdf

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