Rape

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The graceful Rape in a field.

The act of "rape" is by having an individual to perform a sexual act against their will, usually ending with the victim being ultimately powerless to fight off their aggressor(s); it's considered one of worst things one person can do to another, with numerous arguments placing it either above, next to or just below murder or forced mind-wiping. Its also the name of a type of Canola.

In a proverbial sense that is common in the gaming community and more relevant to us, being "raped" is as situation where an individual finds themselves completely powerless and at the mercy of their opposition, often resulting in them just hoping that they can still get away in one piece after their aggressor(s) is/are done with them. In short, getting "raped" in the proverbial sense, is being utterly dominated by the opposition with no hope of relief.

Examples of being proverbially raped

  • A 30 man unit of Slugga Boyz, within 6" of a Nob with a Waaagh! Banner and Ghazghkull Thraka, buffed by Warpath, charging ANYTHING without a 2+ save.
  • Slivers
  • A Space Marine tactical squad against a Kastelan Robot Maniple.
  • Magnus the Red during the psychic phase.
  • Angry Marines vs ANYTHING
  • DEN vs ANYTHING
  • A unit of Khorne Berserkers against a Furioso Dreadnought
  • An Intercessor squad against a Deff Dread
  • Being in 5 inches of an eversor assasin that has discovered cocaine.
  • a haruspex/mutalith vs two snotlings (replace snotlings with schoolgirls for actual rape)
  • Deep Striking 600 points of Terminators 15 inches from a Plasma sponson equipped Leman Russ Executioner.
  • Three full squads of laser destroyer rapiers vs a grot tank.
  • Anything without a good invunerable save going up against Thunderwolf Cavalry in melee
  • A Dreadnought getting ambushed by 30 Tankbustas
  • Anacharis Scoria vs ANYTHING.
  • Anything, ANYTHING without Eternal Warrior against Sigismund or Constantin Valdor in a challenge.
  • Anything on the table with Horus Lupercal, including the table itself.
  • Ferrus Manus riding atop a Landraider Spartan like a surfer, repairing it, as he is shooting his assault weapons, before Swanton Bombing (look it up) into the nearest unit and smashing it with Forgebreaker.
  • Konrad Curze against anything that's not immune to fear.
  • A World Eaters player trying to out-assault a Space Wolves player
  • Almost anything against a Thousand Sons Grand Coven
  • Cadia at the end of Gathering Storm I
  • Ahzek Ahriman, with enough allied psykers around him against anything without solid DtW.
  • Going against a Blood Angels army that fields more than 3 Death Company Dreadnoughts
  • A squad of Grots facing down a Chaos Vindicator.
  • A unit of Khorne Berzerkers against a Tau unit in melee combat.
  • A Tau unit of any kind against anything that can enter melee combat. Even another Tau unit.
  • A Tau unit armed with pulse carbines, led by a Fireblade, within 12" of an Ethereal, within 18" of ANYTHING.
  • Damn near anything facing down a Dreadknight.
  • A ten-man squad of Hetaeron charging a lone Chaos cultist.
  • A squad of Daemons facing down a Grey Knight Terminator Squad.
  • A single heretic against an Inquisitor Lord.
  • Anything within 6 inches of Abaddon the Despoiler that isn't a snowflake character (and even then only a handful are good enough to put brakes on Abby's rape train)
  • Anything within 6 inches of Mephiston.
  • A squad of Imperial Guardsmen against a Dark Eldar raiding party. In more ways than one...
  • An Ork army facing a trio of Manticore Rocket Launchers.
  • A horde of Tyranid gaunts against a Land Raider Redeemer.
  • said landraider being shishkebab by 10 or More carnifexes
  • A Dreadnought at standoff range against a trio of XV88 Battlesuits.
  • A command Leman Russ Vanquisher with co-axial heavy stubber, artificer hull and monster-slayer shells against anything without solid invuln save.
  • A Sisters of Battle Player in 5th any Edition.
  • A Sisters of Battle player vs Slanneshi Daemonettes
  • Anything without a two plus save deepstriking within 36 inches of a missleside squad.
  • C'tan Shards have been on the giving and receiving end.
  • Eldar when Goto is on the prowl.
  • Warhammer 40K fluff and crunch at the hands of Matt Ward.
  • The Sisters of Battle at the grubby hands of Matt Ward.
  • Anything at the hands of Matt Ward.
  • An uppity PC against a grumpy GM.
  • Tomb of Horrors
  • Tomb Kings before their recent update.
  • Vlad von Carstein in Total War: WARHAMMER.
  • An oldschool Magic: The Gathering deck going up against any other deck sporting cards from ANY expansions in the last five years or so.
  • Anything under the leadership of Abigail the Armless vs anything under the command of Creed.
  • A troll talking to a fat/tg/uy.
  • A unit of heretics being assaulted by a full unit of Honour Guard all equipped with relic blades.
  • Any vehicle that is in the line of sight of a Hammerhead. (Bonus points if Longstrike is in it and he's facing down IG)
  • What Fish of Fury used to be.
  • What the Riptide is now.
  • A table that was Made in China used by Ork, Tyranid and Guard players. Bonus points if using metal mini's or playing apocolypse
  • Dark Eldar going up against Orks in Apocalypse.
  • Tyranids going up against Dark Eldar in Apocalypse.
  • Anything going up against Chaos Guard+Marines+Daemons combo in Apocalypse.
  • Angron charging anything.
  • Burna-boyz overwatching anything without terminator armor stupid enough to charge them.
  • Wraithguard with D-scythes overwatching anything, up to and including bio-titans
    • D-Weapons in general if the Dice God favors a player that uses Codex Eldar: Craftworlds.
      • What the Wraith Knight became in said Codex.
  • <insertname>wing army facing a trio of Ectoplasma Forgefiends or Ion Riptide battlesuits
  • Daemons vs Grey Knights
  • Chaos Space Marines vs Grey Knights
  • Anyone trying to outsmart - Hang on, what's that Titan doing there?
  • Anyone within charge range of a Genestealer brood
  • A Carnifex charging a Chimera
  • The Swarmlord.
  • Imperator class battle titan.
  • Necron mass flyer list vs anything but Imperial Guard with 18 hydras.
  • Elysian mass flyer list vs ANYTHING.
  • When Cultists are holding your objectives
  • When Guardsmen are holding your objectives
  • When Guardsmen are charging objectives
  • When Daemons of Khorne are charging anything
  • Skulltaker w/Juggernaut vs. Anything
  • 6th Edition Vortex Deathstrike Missile aimed at anything not in Terminator Armour.
  • A Hierophant Biotitan with 3++ saves and feel no pain against anything.
  • 6th edition Tau.
  • Dark Angels against Chaos Marines.
  • Just about anything being charged by Blood/Chaos knights.
  • DOZE SAME GITZ GETTIN' CHARGED BY BOARBOYZ. AH HA, DOSE UMIES DON'T GOT NUTHIN ON US!
  • Sly Marbo against pretty much everything.
  • A trio of XV9's in a 1200 point game. (Preach on.)
  • A Lord of Skulls reduced to one Hull Point, armed with a Great Cleaver of Khorne, going up against a Tau Ethereal
  • Any army that Robin Cruddace doesn't like.
  • Reapers from Mass Effect against the Time Lords from Doctor Who.
  • Anything from Sci-Fi against anything from the Marvel Pantheon of Gods.
  • Anything worse than AP3 against an opponent who's playing a Siege Assault list. Re-rollable 3+ Armour Saves, for when being That Guy just isn't enough.
  • Cypher against anything involving or relating to the Dark Angels.
  • Chapter Master Smashbane and Iron Father Smashfucker double teaming some poor sod.
  • Anything getting charged by Skarbrand
  • A Skaven Hell Pit Abomination getting right back up after dying.
  • A Leman Russ Punisher staring down an Ork mob. Bonus points if Pask is commanding it.
  • A Leman Russ Punisher with Pask against everything that isnt AV 14
  • Nagash. Just. Nagash.
  • Malekith as The Eternity King.
  • Whenever Matt Ward touches WH40k
  • An Umbra against any number of Imperial Guards/Cannon Fodder.
  • Whenever a WH40k fanboy enters a forum regarding space Marines.
  • Any sufficiently kitted out Death Star unit in 40K.
  • Khorne Daemonkin army that just summoned six Bloodthirsters.
  • The "newest" addition to the fuck-you-mine's-bigger contest
  • Anything from the fluff regarding the lamenters.
  • Vintage deck playing against a standard deck.
  • Trying to fight archaon in age of sigmar
  • What happens to your brain when you read the rules for Age of Sigmar
  • fighting a necrosphinx as with a monsterous creature.
  • Anything that gets between an Eversor and it's target. Including Especially!! Allies and Civilians HAHAHA WRYYYYY!!! What The..?? OH HOLY TERRA NOOO!! *Screams and Splattering noises*
  • Cassian Dracos in Zone Mortalis.
  • WHEN THE SKAVEN BLEW UP THE MOON.
  • DARK ANGELS.
  • Anything being attacked by army ants. Here's a video of them killing a crab.
  • Sly Marbo
  • Anything going up against a Thallax.
  • Anything on the receiving end of a Skitarii Ranger (equiped with either a Galvanic Rifle or a Transuranic Arqebus, either one works really. Although an Arqebus could equate to an exterminatus if it hits the ground or the next planet in sight).
  • KX139 Battlesuits.
  • Leman Russ fighting anything in melee (including other Primarchs).
  • Solar Auxilia LORD-MARSHAL and his entire force making Marines look like whiny pussies, being Ld10, Stubborn, and re-rolling 6 on Morale and Pinning Checks.
  • Drazhar against anything, ANYTHING AT ALL not wearing armor. And a lot of things that are.
  • Kenshiro vs anything armored and unarmoured. Even MOTHERFUCKING BATTLE TANKS, BITCH.
  • Longstrike firing at a single wound model with any kind of buff to his hit roll in 8th edition.
  • Volcano Cannons in 8th edition.
  • An army of only Carnifexes is now totally possible and somewhat viable
  • Magnus the Red unleashing a massive amount of mind dakka towards damn near anything
  • A whole army made up entirely of Pyrovores, about to die RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR OPPONENT'S ARMY.
  • Ghazghkull Thraka with 90 Ork Boyz in 8E backed up with a Waaagh! Banner Nob.
  • a 14/0 Kayn when you are 5 squishies.
  • Everything in this list against Sly Marbo
  • The fact that the one Imperial Guard motherfucker with the silly name is on this list 3 times
  • Roboute Guilliman
  • Any infantry of walker without a good anti personnel weapon vs a sufficiently large amount of IG. Seriously, enough shots shoots holes in SPACE MARINES. According to fluff anyway...
  • 20 Y'Vahra Battlesuits at far range without cover, vs 30 Basilisks behind cover, with a spotter with a vox. For context, Basklisks have AP3, Battlesuits, AS3. Yep. Fun fun!

See also

  • Anal circumference
  • For those who came here looking for something else, it's here. Not that I'm one of those people... Nice try Slaaneshi cultist! *BLAM*

Gallery

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    Now ships overnight.

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