Space Marines

Cockmongler and Happy Negro, the typical Ultramarines .

The Space Marines (canonically officially named the Adeptus Astartes) are one of the playable armies in the Warhammer 40k universe. They are genetically engineered supersoldiers clad in powered armor, and are generally regarded as the toughest bastards to ever serve the Emprah. The average Space Marine is around eight feet tall, has bones that can repel present-day small arms fire, can breathe poisonous gas with no significant problems, is capable of spitting acid, and lives for hundreds of years. They are vastly more powerful in their fluff than they actually are in the Warhammer 40k games.

The Space Marines themselves were created by the Emperor using genetic information from the Primarchs, who were also created by the Emperor but subsequently kidnapped by the ruinous powers of Chaos when they were little boys.(which means that the chaos gods were pedophiles at the time) And they apparently were scattered across the galaxy in a wierd warp storm. All but two of the original twenty Primarchs were later recovered and re-united with the Space Marine legions their genetic material had founded.

Space Marines are generally regarded as something of a "noob army", mainly because every twelve-year-old 40k player has a raging hard-on for them, and almost every unit in the listings has at least a 3+ armor save, making them rather hard to kill. The Ultramarines in particular are an extremely popular choice of Space Marine chapter, and their blue design coupled with the small size of the miniatures often leads to them being referred to as "SMurfs". Thanks to Indrick Boreale, the Space Marines in general are frequently called "SPESS MEHREENS", or variations to that effect.

Marneus Calgar, trying and failing miserably to be a pimp.

Anyone who doesn't play Space Marines is either a Tyranid, a faggot, or more than twelve years old. Probably all three, since no one cares about armies other than the aforementioned ones, and 'nids are totally fabulous. Also, twelve year-olds play WARMACHINE as hard as they can.

The Space Marines of today look very different from the glory days of Rogue Trader, where they earned the nickname beakie for their fuckawesome helmets. (Which some of them still have, mind you, apparently it all comes down to preference!) GRIMDARK fluff was less prevalent, and Mahreens were psychotic killing machines, not monks for TEH EMPRAH.

/tg/ Space Marine Chapters

One of /tg/'s favorite pastimes is creating new and exciting chapters of the Adeptus Astartes based on silly concepts. /tg/'s homebrew chapters include:

• Adeptus Orthodontus
• Angry Marines
• Bald Marines
• Classy Marines
• Disco Marines
• Lazy Marines
• Manly Marines
• Pretty Marines
• Reasonable Marines
• Scary Marines
• Sleepy Marines

GW Space Marine Chapters

• Blood Angels
• Dark Angels
• Grey Knights
• Legion of the Damned
• Mentors
• Raven Guard
• Space Wolves
• Ultramarines
• White scars

See Also

• Female Space Marines

External Links

• Lexicanum on Space Marines

Gallery

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  Steel Rain in action!

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  Space Marine chicks...do they exist?

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  Yes, yes they do.

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  Ultramarines sure know how to party!