Trazyn the Infinite
 | This article or section involves Matthew Ward, Spiritual Liege, who is universally-reviled on /tg/. Because this article or section covers Ward's copious amounts of derp and rage, fans of the 40K series are advised that if they proceed onward, they will see fluff and crunch violation of a level rarely seen. |
Trazyn the Infinite, also known as Trollzyn the Tarpit Breaker, is the best Necron Overlord/Phaeron (while technically his title is Overlord, he has his own Overlord subordinates and rule his own little empire like Phaeron). Basically what you'll get if you combined Doctor Doom, a Tomb King, a Bloody Magpie and the Terminator.
Trazyn the Infinite is a preserver of histories, artifacts and events. In his possession are technologies and relics that are so valuable as to be priceless. Amongst his collection are the fabled wraithbone choir of Altansar, the preserved head of Sebastian Thor, the ossified husk of an Enslaver and a suit of baroque power armour, complete with the Space Marine who was still wearing it. (Who according to a recent White Dwarf issue hints that it may or may not be Vulkan.) This means that he is the only creature in this or any other universe that rivals the stealing power of the Blood Ravens. In such a dangerous galaxy, Trazyn is loath to go out and explore it himself, but with so many exquisite artifacts to see and catalogue, he cannot afford to miss out. As a result he will send out substitutes of himself to do his dirty work. On the battlefield this can become increasingly irritating, as killing what appears to be Trazyn may simply be a Lychguard or a Necron Lord. Meanwhile, somewhere nearby, the real Trazyn is busy smashing his way through his foes to get his metal hands on his latest acquisition.
(That's how the fluff handles it; the crunch rules imply that he simply takes over the body of another Lord, Lychguard, or Cryptek. He was there; you killed him; he just ran like the troll he is. Oh, and you didn't get Slay The Warlord by the way. Just imagine this guy politely trolling with the voice of Terl from Battlefield Earth : "Oh, dear ! What a wonderful contingent of Imperial Guards ! I shall thank you with all my heart, General, for this marvelous gift. Please tell them to strike a nice pose while I prepare a stasis grenade...")
/tg/ has gained a fondness for him, due to his thieving ways, his Doctor Doom-esque body doubles, and his polite yet trollish attitude. It is generally agreed that he is one of the only good things Matt Ward has ever put into the fluff.
"A war-torn city in the Ultramar system. The Ultramarines, aided by an Imperial Guard regiment led by Lord Castellan Ursarkar Creed, prepares to face an Ork incursion in a final battle. The Orks are numerous, but the Imperium has the upper hand, just barely, as Lord Creed's tactical genius has proven invaluable. As the Orks begin their final assault on the city, the Ultramarines ready their defenses. Creed, ever oddly silent, gazes intently at a large flagpole in the center of town, watching through binocs as the Orks' charge is funneled towards the center of the city. Suddenly, as the Orks near the square, the tip of a Baneblade's main gun can be seen coming around the flagpole. The great tank begins to emerge from behind the thin metal object, perfectly and impossibly concealed. It begins to move into its firing arc, and a great shout is heard from the Warboss down below, just barely carrying over the rest of the din. "CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-" Suddenly, the cry cuts off in confusion, as Creed spits out his cigar. Where the Baneblade once stood, there is air, thin air. Not a trace remains of the enormous tank. It has vanished completely. Then, gradually, a green, crackling, electrical rune appears hanging in the air where the Baneblade was. It extends gracefully, for its platonic geometric form. If Creed was given to poetry, he might even say it resembled a rose. But he knew better. A rage he had felt only once before began to boil deep within, and his cry shook the world as the Orkish tide began to hack his guardsmen and the Marines to pieces. "TRAAAAAAAAAAAAZYYYYYYYYN!"
From Ward Himself
"Trazyn's also no slouch in combat. Whenever his empathic obliterator kills an enemy, it has a chance to kill all other enemies of the same type in the same combat - perfect for Ork mobs. This isn't so useful against characters, but that's why Trazyn also carries a clutch of mindshackle scarabs - why kill an enemy when you can take over his mind and have him kill for you...?"
He also has a Polish-inspired name, and uses lame pseudonyms from eastern-European mythology, which makes him a filthy treacherous Slav. Moreover, he claims to have many of his subordinates infiltrated in the Sautekh Dynasty. Just compare the number of Egyptian crons with the number of Polish crons in the Sautekh Dynasty, and you'll understand...
The Infinite List of Dickings
Trazyn is universally regarded as a huge dick pretty fun guy to be around due to his rampant kleptomania erudition and wit. Here is a list of his crimes many-splendored accomplishments, compiled for the warning edification of /tg/.
- Killed five invading regiments of Catachans, then turned them into miniatures for his collection.
- Sent Inquisitor Valeria fan mail (maybe, we can't tell if he was being sarcastic in the letter) attached to an armed tesseract labyrinth as a reward for "gifting" him said Catachan regiments.
- Banned from the Necron throne world of Mandragora after trying to loot Imotekh's staff.
- Stole Sebastian Thor's head.
- Took the World Spirit Shrine of Carnac, an Exodite world as a trophy for helping to conquer it.
- Uses other Necron Lords as body doubles without telling them.
- Told the greatest amongst us all he was old pals with Rawbutt Girlyman.
- And then informed them that maybe he was going to take Papa Smurf, as he'd be better off with him than in the company of the Ultramarines.
- Has a fucking PRIMARCH stored at his pad, supposedly... Possibly Vulkan according to White Dwarf, which makes the next one all the more hilarious.
- Told Vulkan He'stan he had the Song of Entropy, luring the Salamanders into a 10-year war with the Necrons. At the end of it, Trazyn pretty much said "just kidding, I don't have the Song of Entropy," as he tried to steal the Spear of Vulkan. Kind of back fired when Vulkan He'stan decided to just give him the Spear. Tip first. He'stan was pretty pissed when he learned Trazyn just jumped into another body.
- Twice.
Things on Trazyn's 'Must Have' List
- A lock of the Emperor's hair (Assuming it hasn't rotted away by the time he gets to Terra)
- Magnus the Red's favourite eye
- The Sanguinor in a stasis field
- A living Tyranid zoo (no stuffed dolls for our old collector)
- One of each type of Eldar Aspect Warrior, arranged in complementing color order (exarchs would be even better, and the Phoenix Lords would be best)
- A signed autograph from each Primarch. (Still asking Orikan for "access" to his time machine so he can get some from Ferrus Manus, Horus, Sanguinius, and Konrad Curze since they're all presently busy being dead.)
- A signed autograph from each chaos god.
- A sweet ride so he can cruise the galaxy looking for new junk
- A shoulder pad from each space marine chapter (Pre-heresy legions and post-heresy chapters all together of course, going for the complete set!)
- A Space Marine from each of the first founding chapters (this collection would be easily finished if not for the fact that he cant find any marines from the two missing legions).
- A painting of one of the Empra, Tzeench, Cegorach, and the Deciever's card games.
- A circus filled with nothing but Eldar Harlequins.
- A garage filled with one of each type of the Imperial Guard's tanks.
- A feather from Sanguinus's wing.
- An Imperial Titan that has been CREEEEEEED'ed.
- A snap shot of the look on Abaddon's face upon seeing aforementioned Titan in the middle of his battle line, shouting CREEEEEEEED
- Abbadon's arms. Creed hid them surprisingly well that even Trazyn is having trouble finding them.
- A matching pair of Angry Marine Powerboots.
- His own Tesseract Vault, complete with C'tan.
- A pair of a Sisters Of Battle Canoness Regulation Holy Panties from each Order, stolen from their quarters while they are asleep. Is surprisingly hard to pull off, even for Trazyn.
- One of the fingers from the Talon of Horus.
- One of Ferrus Manus's hands. He isn't picky which.
- One of Asurmen's twin-linked Shuriken Catapults.
- A lock of Jain Zar's hair. Bonus points, if it's from the original Jain Zar, not the current phoenix armour wielder. Extra bonus points for the locks from all Jain Zar incarnations.
- An Imperial Knight from each house.
- The Eye of Horus. As in the actual Eye.
- Alive and fleshy non-sorcerer Thousand Son.
- Remnants of the Inquisitorial acolyte who died of old age.
- Any 100% reliable information about Alpha Legion.
- The Blood Ravens Armoury. Since most of the above was already "gifted" to the Chapter.
- A complete and unblemished cosmetic kit 'gifted' by a Pretty Marines' Company Captain, still with a wrapping bow attached. (Getting one each from both Loyalist and Chaos Pretty Marines Captains would be even better!)
See Also
- [1] Compare and contrast, comrades.
- Epic duel ahead.
![[1]](http://images.wikia.com/heman/images/b/bc/Skeletor.jpg){kind=link}