Battle for Dominus Pillowus

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On a backwater Imperial planet. a Guardsman buys a Celestine Bodypillow from a passing Rogue Trader. Fearing reprise from an angry Commissar, he tattles on the Commissar's xenofucking habits to a Priest. Said priest turns out to be an undercover Inquisitor investigating Commissar Xenofucker. The Inquisitor begins a sting operation and the local Regiment splits between the loyalists and the Taufuckers.


Characters

This section includes all characters involved in this clusterfuck.

Imperial Forces

Imperial Guard
  • Commissar Xenofucker:
  • Saint Waifu Commander:
  • Sanctioned Psyker who was almost raped by Daemonette:
  • Marcus:
  • Guardsman who was almost raped by Eldar:
  • Assortment of Kriegers:
  • Random Harmonica Guardsman:
Space Marines
  • Penicillus, Apothecary of the Deathwing
  • Ultramarine Bro
  • Minotaurs
  • Blood Ravens
  • Deathwatch
Sisters of Battle
  • Living Saint Celestein (not Celestine)
  • Living Saint Celestine (not Celestein)
  • Canoness Olivia III, Order of the August Vigil
  • Sister Lydia
  • Animal-loving Sister Hospitaller
Mechanicus

Enginseer Mike L33: Used an Earthshaker Cannon on Daemon Prince Commissar Xenofucker.

Magos Xenobiologis: Realised entire biosphere of planet was in fact devolved Tyranids.

Dominus Exitium Imperator-Class Battle Titan responsible for the recovery of the Æonic Orb. Got smacked about by Orknids

Archmagos Magnificus Apparatos Responsible for the deployment of Titan legions on the planet as a means to both capture the Orb and avoid an Exterminatus

Inquisition

Xeno Hunting Inquisitor:

Ordo Malleus Inquisitor: Showed up late to the party, and when he found out about the Tau-Slaanesh-Daemon Engune-Craftworld, left for the nearest Imperial Port to get drunk.

Xenos

Eldar

Thirsty Farseer: Was infected by a disease made by Nurgle, who wanted to boost Eldar birthdates so as to make Isha happy. Tried to rape Guardsman, but Psykerbro kept her away.

Constantiy-respawning Eldar: Died over and over again, eventually defecting to Imperial forces. Was a titan at one point in time.

Dark Eldar: Went raiding. Some of them took advantage of the vorefest between the Hive Fleet and the Daemon Engine Craftworld to get more suffering and ecstasy.

Tyranid/Ork/Orkanids?

Gitsmacka

DokTank

Hivefleet

Planetary Hivemind

Rapevines


Necrons

Necron Lord I

Necron Lord II

Unnamed Destroyer Lord

Æonic Orb

Tau

Ethereal

Slaneshau Leader

Slaneshi Diplothot

Chaos Forces

Slaaneshi

Daemonette: Developed a hug fetish. Has a crush on Psykerbro.

Chaos Lord Vögeln: Chaos Lord of the "Alluring Ostriches" warband. Failed in his mission by Slaanesh him/her/itself to cum on the Celestine Bodypillow, and was turned into Chaos Spawn for his failure. Wait no-AAASJEHDUBEUJSIJSJ

See Also

External Links

Gallery


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