Cards Against Humanity

From 2d4chan
Revision as of 14:53, 20 June 2023 by imported>Administrator (28 revisions imported)
(diff) ← Older revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)
Jump to navigation Jump to search

You know how, when you play Apples to Apples, the goal quickly changes from "Play the most appropriate combo" to "Play the funniest combo," and then further devolves to "Play the most terrifyingly offensive combo?" Like, someone plays "Crispy" or some shit, and you play "Anne Frank?" That's Cards Against Humanity. (Or to be less charitable, it's a party game where you pay money for a license to make crude jokes without getting ostracized by your perpetually-offended clique of faggots. But if you're reading this, that part probably doesn't apply to you and you just want a fun party game.) It's specifically set up to be as offensive as possible (in theory; see below) but pulls it off well enough to come across as hilarious, instead of morbid. A great game to play with college dorm-mates, erudite friends, polite society, your grandmother, and anyone else over the age of 18. You will never look at anyone you play with the same way again.

The game itself is very simple. Every player starts with a hand of ten white cards drawn from the white deck. One player takes their turn to act as the "Card Czar," the official judge of that round. (The basic rules state that whomever most recently took a shit has the dubious honor of being the first Card Czar of a new game.) The Card Czar starts by drawing a black card from the black card deck and reads it out loud to the other players. The black card will contain a question or statement of some sort, but will have anywhere from one to three blank spaces in it à la Mad Libs. The other players will then submit enough white cards from their hands to fill in those blanks on the black card, generally in the most crass and offensively lulzy way they possibly can with the cards at their disposal. The Czar will pick which submission they felt was the best and the winner of that round gets one "Awesome Point," taking the black card to keep track of their score, all players draw enough white cards to maintain a full hand, and then the next player takes their turn to be the Czar. And so it continues. Whenever the game finally ends you will know who is truly the most horrible in your circle of reprobate friends.

Do not allow Cards Against Humanity within 500 feet of any game more complex than it. Seriously, this shit kills RPG sessions harder than Magic ever did.

There is a website that lets you play a clone of Cards Against Humanity over the internet, for fun times on Ventrilo or Skype. It comes with several genre-based Card Packs, in case you play amongst furries or /v/irgins.

Editions and Expansions[edit | edit source]

The base Cards Against Humanity game comes with 460 white cards and 90 black cards. The base game has gone through several different editions over the years since its original release in 2011 to keep the game "current." Generally once a year they remove some specific names and things that offended people too much, then add in new cards to replace them. One might think that you'd have to be a real loser to get offended at a game who brands itself as being horrible and offensive, but the devs are only too happy to bend over and spread 'em if someone says that a given card is problematic. The base game is currently in its seventh edition, version 1.7. If you want to check which edition you have you can find out by checking the back of the box, where it is printed in a black circle in the bottom right corner. There are also versions of the base game that have been tailored for the United Kingdom, Australia and Canada which are only available in those countries. And if that's not enough for you, there's been several official expansions.

  • The First Expansion: 100 cards of random bullshit.
  • The Second Expansion: 100 cards of more random bullshit.
  • The Third Expansion: 100 cards of more random bullshit. Have now been discontinued, merging the first, second and third expansions into the 300-card ♦ Red Box
  • The Fourth Expansion: 100 cards of more random bullshit.
  • The Fifth Expansion: 100 cards of more random bullshit.
  • The Sixth Expansion: 100 cards of more random bullshit. Have now been discontinued, merging the fourth, fifth and sixth expansions into the 300-card ▲ Blue Box
  • ● Green Box: A 300 card expansion of more new, yet still random, bullshit.
  • The Bigger Blacker Box: 20 cards of box-pun bullshit, and comes with the Bigger, Blacker Box, a carrying box to fit the game and all expansions, and 10 dividers to keep them seperated. Named in the style of the "Big black dick" and "Bigger, blacker dick" cards from the main game, this edition was famous for the secret bonus card hidden inside the box lid (literally inside; it has to be cut out) that says "The biggest, blackest dick." No longer available, but now superseded by-
    • The New Bigger Blacker Box: The same 20 cards of box-pun bullshit, 50 blank cards and comes with the even bigger Bigger, Blacker Box, a carrying box to fit the game and all expansions. Has 'The biggest, blackest dick." hidden in the lid once more, but this edition also has a one-of-a-kind procedurally generated card that is unique to each box, as well as a secret bonus card hidden inside the bottom of the box (that also has to be cut out) that says "A dick so big and so black that it is a problematic stereotype."
    • Please Do Not Buy This Product: The biggest, blackest box to date, measuring in at a whopping 69 inches. For $100 it contains only a single shiny silver card: "The even biggest, blackester dick."
  • The 90's Nostalgia Pack: 30 cards of 90's kid bullshit.
  • The Science Pack: 30 cards of science bullshit. Marketed as a way to promote women in STEM fields.
  • Sci-Fi Pack: 30 cards of futuristic space bullshit.
  • Geek Pack: 30 cards of entry-level nerd bullshit.
  • Holiday Pack: 2012, 2013, and 2014 all saw 30 card expansions of holiday bullshit.
  • Jew Pack: Oy vey! 30 cards of Yiddish bullshit.
  • Design Pack: 30 cards of over-designed bullshit with George Carlin's seven words you can't say on television as the theme.
  • Fantasy Pack: 32 cards of fantasy bullshit.
  • Food Pack: 30 cards of barely-digestible bullshit.
  • World Wide Web Pack: 30 cards of Plebbit AMA bullshit.
  • House of Cards Against Humanity Pack: 25 cards of House of Cards bullshit.
  • Fascism Pack: 17 cards of Secret Hitler bullshit.
  • The Retail Pack: 5 bullshit cards as a bonus for buying the base game at specially approved game stores.
  • Retail Product Pack: 20 cards of retail store bullshit and a $1 instant cash rebate.
  • Vote for Hillary Pack: 15 cards of Democrat bullshit.
  • Vote for Trump Pack: 15 cards of Republican bullshit. Notable for the fact that the store blurb took a bunch of catty snipes at you for buying it.
    • Post-Trump Pack: 25 cards of butthurt liberal bullshit. Originally sold as part of a bug-out bag to assist in fleeing to Mexico.
  • Period Pack: 30 cards of cramps-and-internal-bleeding bullshit written when the writers were on the rag. Lightly scented to prevent odors.
  • College Pack: 30 cards of educational bullshit.
  • Weed Pack: 30 cards of stoner bullshit.
  • Your Shitty Jokes: 50 Blank White Cards

In addition, the core game set has been released in three special editions, plus a couple more publicity stunts:

  • The Black Friday Sale Edition: Everything about the set is exactly the same, but it was only available for order on Black Friday, 2013. It cost 5$ more. Despite this, or more likely, because of this, it not only stayed a best seller on Amazon, but sales went up.
  • Total Bullshit Edition: For Black Friday, 2014, the regular game and all expansions were removed from the store, and replaced with this. In it you get no cards. Just an actual box of real bull shit, from a real bull's digestive system. It sold over 30,000 "copies" in one day.
  • Cards Against Humanity for Her: A limited edition released in July 2017, everything about this set is exactly the same except the case is pink and it costs $5 extra. Because you're worth it.
  • Absolutely Nothing: For Black Friday, 2015, the regular game and all expansions were removed from the store, and replaced with a payment form to give the devs five dollars in exchange for absolutely nothing. They still made $71,145 on it, with one person even giving a total of $1,000. After the promotion was over they replaced the form with an itemized list detailing how each dev spent the money they did absolutely nothing to get.
  • Holiday Hole: For Black Friday, 2016, the Cards Against Humanity devs rented a bunch of excavation equipment and invited holiday shoppers to pay to watch them dig a hole. They somehow got $100,573 for their troubles and kept digging all the way through to Sunday.
  • Cards Against Humanity Saves America: You know the Post-Trump Pack above? Imagine that same sentiment, but this time they're actually being obstructionist instead of just making money off of other butthurt liberals. For 15 dollars, holiday shoppers could purchase a plot of vacant land along the US-Mexico border, the intent being preventing the US government from claiming the land for use in the proposed border wall project by drowning it in red tape and lawsuits. Oh, and there might have been a cardboard rectangle involved, I kinda forgot.
    • Prongles: The CAH devs bought some shitty-tasting private-label potato chips, put them in a 90s XTREME parody packaging, and sold them at Target stores for Black Friday 2017 under the premise that the company was changing its focus to snack foods. Apparently this is supposed to be an insult to Donald Trump.

License[edit | edit source]

Unique for a best selling card game, Cards Against Humanity is released under Creative Commons (CC) BY-NC-SA, meaning it's open for anybody to copy and share, as long as you properly attribute the developer and don't make money off of it. (They can do this because they know that most of their audience is too lazy to find a local printing press, check if their cheap printer can handle cardstock or dick around with cereal boxes and a glue stick.) The original set, and generally most of the expansions are provided online in .pdf form for you to print on your own. This licence also makes it easy to play digital versions of the game for those who would rather play with friends long-distance (see "Pretend you're Xyzzy" below).

Custom Cards[edit | edit source]

Since the cards in Cards Against Humanity are just black and white, it's dead-simple to make custom cards if you can print on cardstock. Mix and match for fun! If you printed your own copy from the .pdf, there are blank cards on the template you can edit and print to match the rest of your collection. Thanks to the licence above, the custom sets below are perfectly valid expansions to the base game.

Links[edit | edit source]

Card Games
Collectible
Card Games:		 Call of Cthulhu - Cardfight!! Vanguard - Fire Emblem Cipher
Force of Will - Jyhad - Magi-Nation Duel - Magic: The Gathering
Netrunner - Pokémon - Star Wars: Destiny CCG (Dead) - Yu-Gi-Oh
Other
Card Games:		 1000 Blank White Cards - 7th Sea - Apples to Apples - Bang!
Cards Against Humanity - Coup - Decktet - Dominion - Dvorak
F.A.T.A.L. - Keyforge - Mafia - Mag Blast - Mao - Munchkin
Race for the Galaxy - Sentinels of the Multiverse - Tanto Cuore
Traditional
Card Games:		 Bridge - Cribbage - Mahjong - Solitaire/Patience - Poker - Rummy - Tarot
Retrieved from "http://2d4chan.org/mediawiki/index.php?title=Cards_Against_Humanity&oldid=111654"