Brettonia

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Revision as of 12:39, 3 August 2011 by 184.58.241.69 (talk)
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It's Arthurian legend made Warhammeresque, with clean, mighty knights and dirty, undernourished peasants. They worship the Lady of the Lake who may or may not be secretly a wood elf. They manage to survive despite being right next to the gun-totting Empire by giving their knights he ability to pray to their Goddess, causing bullets to miss their target. Fuck that shit. They're so manly that they IGNORE the musket balls.

They have no less then four kinds of knights these being; Knights Errant, Knights of the Realm, Questing Knights and Knights of the Grail...plus a unit of fast cavalry. They also have peasants which for the most part are just cannon fodder. Except for those guys who carry around a dead knight.

They're French, which would explain why they've never entered a noteworthy fight victoriously or without hiding behind their manly cousins, the Empire.

As they're French, they are also Masters of the Art of Insult.

They're half French half English/Irish/Anglo-Saxon.

They may or may not be named after the Breton region in France. Aww, who am I kidding; GW is too creative to do that.

They also have no grasp on economic management.

They once tried to expand into The Empire by offering them a "more stable" government, which includes French fag knights telling you what to do, stabbing you for fun, taxing you to such a crushing level of poverty that a hobo has more wealth than you and instituting laws that make you into a slave in all but name, in return they expect you to enjoy this. This was about as successful you could realistically imagine, not because the peasants in The Empire aren't retarded dumbshits like Brettonian peasants, but because GW can't allow any faction to have anything that could be rationalized as a development in the storyline.


Notable Characters:

  • Graham Chapman (Who is also King Arthur)
  • The Green Knight and his one true love, Sir Gawain.
  • Miles O'Keefe (Who is also Sir Gawain)
  • The Lady of the Lake
  • John Cleese and the Monty Pythons
  • Sean Connery (Who is also the Green Knight)
  • Tony Blair
  • Gordon Brown
  • Gui le Gros a fat peasant who kicks arse and is fond of ale and wenches.

Why play brettonia?

Monty python jokes. Oh god, the Monty Python jokes. a census taken a few years back shows that every player of a Brettonian army has at least one knight unit based on Monty Python and the holy grail.

Aside from that, its a good "elite" army. with your knights doing all the actual fighting and your peasants nothing more than distractions. if you like the idea of 10-15 guys wrecking an entire armies shit then this would be a good choice.