Braindead Bimbo Barbarians is an in-progress /tg/ homebrew system where the players take on the roles of the titular characters in a "swords and sluttery" setting. Everything here is, at best, an early beta.
SLUT Engine
Slap: is a Bimbo's physical strings and capability to bring the hurt. It's the key component of melee combat and athletics.
Legs: is limberness and physical reflexes. It's key in shooting, throwing, acrobatics, stealth, etc.
Uhm: is the closest thing Bimbos have to Int. It's used for dealing with traps, using tech if things get sci-fi-ish, counting, and possibly some magic.
Tits: is charisma, sexuality, and lust. These are inseparable to a Bimbo. It's used for manipulation, feats of sexual pleasure, and possibly some magic.
These stats have a minimum of 1 and a maximum of 6 (though items and temporary mods can change this). When a bimbo attempts an action that has a chance to succeed or fail, the GM will call for a check against one of these stat. For an easy check, the player rolls 1d6. For a medium check, the player rolls 2d6, and the player rolls 3d6 for a difficult check. In all checks, if all dice rolled are equal to or below the bimbo's stat, she succeeds.
Rolling all ones results in a critical success, while rolling all sixes results in a critical failure. For criticals in combat, consult the relevant table. Non-combat criticals are currently up to the DM.
At the GM's discretion, a player may "raise" to increase the difficulty of a roll in exchange for a better result.
Character Creation
To create a bimbo, roll 3d6. The first d6 is the bimbo's Slap, the second is her Legs, and the third is her Uhm. Subtract the total from 19, and whatever is left over becomes her Titties. This process cannot take any stat over 6, so randomly assign any points that are left over. Bimbos have a base movement speed of 3. The GM may choose to allow starting equipment as well, usually a weapon and a generic, poor quality outfit that provides no modifiers.
Alternate character gen:
Produces lower-powered bimbos but has less random redistribution of points:
To create a bimbo, roll 3d6. The first d6 is the bimbo's Slap, the second is her Legs, and the third is her Uhm. To determine Tits, start from zero and add one for each roll of 3 or 4, add two for each roll of 1 or 2. If the total Tits is under 2, subtract 1 each from Slap, Legs, and Uhm for being a filthy cheater, and set Tits to 1. Equip your bimbo with one accessory, one top, one bottom, and footwear. This starting equipment grants no bonuses or special abilities. Roll up one heavy weapon and one light weapon from the table below. At the GM's discretion you may select your own equipment.
Abilities
Next, choose two of the following features.
Rawr
When you grab an enemy, you cannot let go or be forced to let go while that enemy is capable of fighting back. Neither you nor this enemy may attack or be attacked by other characters.
Oh No You Didn't
When hit by an enemy, you may sacrifice a piece of your equipment. Gain +2 damage against that enemy permanently.
Wardrobe Malfunction
When hit by an enemy, you may sacrifice a piece of your equipment to negate the effects of the attack.
Watch Where You're Going
If an adjacent allied bimbo misses an attack, you may make a medium Slap check. On a success, both you and the allied bimbo lose 1 HP, and she may reroll the attack against a different target at difficulty reduced by 1.
Upstage
If an allied bimbo is in melee combat, you may move into her square on a successful medium difficulty titties check (causing the bimbo to leave her square as directed by her player). For this turn, the difficulty of attacking the allied bimbo's former target in melee is reduced by one. For her, it is increased by one.
Flash
When you would be hit by an attack from an appropriately oriented enemy, force a re-roll. Lose any abilities and modifiers attached to your top until the end of your next turn. In order to use this, you must be wearing a top that grants abilities or modifiers.
Cleave
When you kill someone in melee combat, you may attack again.
Flex
When you would make a Titties check, make a Slap check instead. On a failure, lose 1HP.
Bounce
When someone physically forces you to move successfully, you may make a medium Titties check. On a success, you stay put and the attacker is pushed equally in the opposite direction.
NPCs
NPCs in Braindead Bimbo Barbarians have one stat, which is based on what they are. For example, a dragon might have the stat "Dragoning (6)," which it would roll against to burn peasants, fly, and horde treasure. For other actions, the dragon would roll against the target number of 2. NPCs have HP equal to their one stat, and may have special abilities as well.
Combat
To attack, a Bimbo or NPC rolls against the appropriate stat (usually Slap or Legs for bimbos). Normally, attacking is a medium check, but circumstances may increase or decrease the difficulty, most notably flanking, which renders it an easy check.
Successful attacks against an unavailable stat render that character incapacitated in a manner chosen by the DM.
Critical Hit Tables
Bimbos
Bimbo Critical Hit Table
| 1: |
No additional effect
|
| 2: |
Pass a medium Slap check or be stunned (all attacks on next turn default to difficult instead of medium difficulty).
|
| 3: |
Pass a medium Legs check or be knocked prone (for the next turn, incoming attacks require only an easy check, cannot move).
|
| 4: |
Pass a medium Uhm check or [A BAD THING]
|
| 5: |
Pass a medium Titties check or become intimidated (all attacks against attacker default to difficult instead of medium difficulty for the duration of the fight)
|
| 6: |
Roll on Bimbo Major Critical Hit Table
|
Bimbo Major Critical Hit Table
| 1: |
+1 damage
|
| 2: |
Enemy grabs
|
| 3: |
Enemy pushes one square
|
| 4: |
Enemy disarms
|
| 5: |
Roll twice on Bimbo Critical Hit Table, rerolling 1s and 6s
|
| 6: |
Roll on Bimbo Catastrophic Critical Hit Table
|
Bimbo Catastrophic Critical Hit Table
| 1: |
+2 damage
|
| 2: |
Roll twice on Bimbo Major Critical Hit Table, rerolling 1s and 6s
|
| 3: |
Long Term Injury (-1 Slap)
|
| 4: |
Nerve Damage (-1 Legs)
|
| 5: |
Head Injury (-1 Uhm)
|
| 6: |
Scar (-1 Titties)
|
NPCs
NPC Critical Hit Table
| 1: |
+1 damage
|
| 2: |
+2 damage
|
| 3: |
Attacker may immediately roll to trip
|
| 4: |
Attacker may immediately roll to grab
|
| 5: |
Attacker may immediately roll to push (colliding with an obstacle causes 1 damage, colliding with another character causes both to fall prone)
|
| 6: |
Attacker may immediately roll a second attack
|
Critical Miss Tables
Bimbos
Bimbo Critical Miss Table
| 1: |
No additional effect
|
| 2: |
Dropped weapon
|
| 3: |
Drop random non-weapon equipment
|
| 4: |
Weapon caught in hair (can disentangle by either passing a medium Legs check or taking one damage, can attempt once per turn)
|
| 5: |
Weapon caught in clothes (can disentangle by either passing a medium Legs check or dropping a piece of equipment, can attempt once per turn)
|
| 6: |
Roll on Bimbo Major Critical Miss Table
|
Bimbo Major Critical Miss Table
| 1: |
Throw weapon d6 squares in a random direction
|
| 2: |
Move 1 square in random direction (collide with wall = 1 damage, collide with character=both prone)
|
| 3: |
Weapon stuck in ground/wall (medium Slap check to remove)
|
| 4: |
Off balance until the end of next turn (require an easy check to hit)
|
| 5: |
Trip self (cannot move until end of next turn, and require an easy check to hit)
|
| 6: |
Roll on Bimbo Catastrophic Critical Miss Table
|
Bimbo Catastrophic Critical Miss Table
| 1: |
Roll an attack against a piece of equipment. On a hit, it is destroyed.
|
| 2: |
Weapon destroyed.
|
| 3: |
Target may immediately roll a counter attack.
|
| 4: |
Roll an attack against yourself.
|
| 5: |
Roll an attack against the nearest ally to the target, or yourself if none are in range.
|
| 6: |
Roll twice on the Bimbo Major Critical Miss Table
|
NPCs
NPC Critical Miss Table
| 1: Save or fall prone
|
| 2: Save or move into a random adjacent square and fall prone (colliding with an obstacle causes 1 damage, colliding with another character causes both to fall prone)
|
| 3: For the next turn, all attacks are hard difficulty checks
|
| 4: For the next turn, only requires an easy check to be hit
|
| 5: Attack an ally in range, or self if none are available
|
| 6: Attack self
|
Equipment Generation Tables
To generate equipment using these tables, start with the sentence at the top and roll d6s to fill in the brackets. These tables are an optional tool for the DM.
Shoes
This is a pair of [shoe size] [base material] [base shoes]. They are [heel type] [decoration type] [decoration number].
Shoe Size
| 1: |
ankle high
|
| 2: |
mid calf
|
| 3: |
below the knee
|
| 4: |
knee high
|
| 5: |
above the knee
|
| 6: |
thigh high
|
Base Materials
| 1: |
iron
|
| 2: |
steel
|
| 3: |
chrome
|
| 4: |
brass
|
| 5: |
black leather
|
| 6: |
brown leather
|
Base Shoes
| 1-2: |
[shoe size] sandals 1-2
|
| 3-4: |
[shoe size] boots 3-4
|
| 5-6: |
pumps 5-6
|
Heel Type
| 1: |
flats (-2 Titties, +1 Legs)
|
| 2: |
short wedges (-1 Titties, -1 Slap, +1 Uhm)
|
| 3: |
high wedges (-2 Slap, +1 Titties)
|
| 4: |
stilettos (-1 movement speed, -1 Legs, +2 damage to prone targets)
|
| 5: |
platforms (-1 movement speed, -1 Legs, +1 Slap)
|
| 6: |
stilettos, with platformed toes (-1 movement speed, -1 Legs, +1 Titties)
|
Decoration Type
| 1: |
studded with [decoration material]
|
| 2: |
lined with [lining type]
|
| 3: |
encircled by bands of [base materials]
|
| 4: |
menacing with spikes of [decoration material]
|
| 5: |
decorated with an image of [image type] in [base material]
|
| 6: |
decorated by hanging rings of [base material]
|
| d6 |
Base Material |
Decoration Material |
Lining Type |
Image Type
|
| 1: |
iron |
cubic zirconia |
fur |
a skull
|
| 2: |
steel |
iron |
tiger print fabric |
a heart
|
| 3: |
chrome |
steel |
leopard print fabric |
foreign calligraphy
|
| 4: |
brass |
chrome |
zebra print fabric |
the designer's mark
|
| 5: |
black leather |
brass |
wool |
a diamond
|
| 6: |
brown leather |
rhinestones |
leather |
an eye
|
Decoration number:
| 1-3: |
Add new decoration and repeat, rolling for another decoration number when finished.
|
| 4-6: |
End.
|
Bottoms
BOTTOMS
This is a [base material][base bottoms]. It is [decoration type][decoration number].
Base Material
| 1: |
iron
|
| 2: |
steel
|
| 3: |
chrome
|
| 4: |
brass
|
| 5: |
black leather
|
| 6: |
brown leather
|
Base Bottoms
| 1: |
thong
|
| 2: |
miniskirt (Slap-2, Legs+1)
|
| 3: |
loincloth (Titties -2, Slap +1)
|
| 4: |
pair of hotpants (Uhm-2, Legs+1)
|
| 5: |
skirt (Legs-2, Uhm+1)
|
| 6: |
pair of panties (Slap-2, Titties+1)
|
Decoration Type
| 1: |
studded with [decoration material]
|
| 2: |
lined with [lining type]
|
| 3: |
encircled by bands of [base materials]
|
| 4: |
menacing with spikes of [decoration material]
|
| 5: |
decorated with an image of [image type] in [base material]
|
| 6: |
decorated by hanging rings of [base material]
|
| d6 |
Base Material |
Decoration Material |
Lining Type |
Image Type
|
| 1: |
iron |
cubic zirconia |
fur |
a skull
|
| 2: |
steel |
iron |
tiger print fabric |
a heart
|
| 3: |
chrome |
steel |
leopard print fabric |
foreign calligraphy
|
| 4: |
brass |
chrome |
zebra print fabric |
the designer's mark
|
| 5: |
black leather |
brass |
wool |
a diamond
|
| 6: |
brown leather |
rhinestones |
leather |
an eye
|
Decoration number:
| 1-3: |
Add new decoration and repeat, rolling for another decoration number when finished.
|
| 4-6: |
End.
|
Tops
This is a [base material][base tops]. [Pauldron Base] It is [decoration type][decoration number].
Base Material
| 1: |
iron
|
| 2: |
steel
|
| 3: |
chrome
|
| 4: |
brass
|
| 5: |
black leather
|
| 6: |
brown leather
|
Base Tops
| 1: |
bodice (-2 Slap, +1 Titties)
|
| 2: |
tube (-2 Legs, +1 Titties)
|
| 3: |
string bikini top (-1 Titties, -1 Legs, +1 Slap)
|
| 4: |
chestplate (-2 Uhm, 1 DR when not flanked)
|
| 5: |
bra (-2 Titties, +1 Legs)
|
| 6: |
halter top (-2 Titties, +1 Uhm)
|
Pauldron Base
| 1: |
Skip.
|
| 2: |
It has one small [Base Material] pauldrons attached.
|
| 3: |
It has two small [Base Material] pauldrons attached.
|
| 4: |
It has one large [Base Material] pauldrons attached.
|
| 5: |
It has two large [Base Material] pauldrons attached.
|
| 6: |
It has one large and one small [Base Material] pauldrons attached.
|
Decoration Type
| 1: |
studded with [decoration material]
|
| 2: |
lined with [lining type]
|
| 3: |
encircled by bands of [base materials]
|
| 4: |
menacing with spikes of [decoration material]
|
| 5: |
decorated with an image of [image type] in [base material]
|
| 6: |
decorated by hanging rings of [base material]
|
| d6 |
Base Material |
Decoration Material |
Lining Type |
Image Type
|
| 1: |
iron |
cubic zirconia |
fur |
a skull
|
| 2: |
steel |
iron |
tiger print fabric |
a heart
|
| 3: |
chrome |
steel |
leopard print fabric |
foreign calligraphy
|
| 4: |
brass |
chrome |
zebra print fabric |
the designer's mark
|
| 5: |
black leather |
brass |
wool |
a diamond
|
| 6: |
brown leather |
rhinestones |
leather |
an eye
|
Decoration number:
| 1-3: |
Add new decoration and repeat, rolling for another decoration number when finished.
|
| 4-6: |
End.
|
Accessories
This is a [base material][base accessory].
Base Material
| 1: |
iron
|
| 2: |
steel
|
| 3: |
chrome
|
| 4: |
brass
|
| 5: |
black leather
|
| 6: |
brown leather
|
Base Accessory
| 1: |
pair of glasses. (-2 Titties, +1 Uhm) It is [decoration type][decoration number].
|
| 2: |
bag. (-1 Titties, holds items when not in use) It is [decoration type][decoration number].
|
| 3: |
[Headwear Type]. It is [decoration type][decoration number].
|
| 4: |
ring. (-2 Uhm, +1 Slap) It is [decoration type][decoration number].
|
| 5: |
[Bracelet Type]. It is [decoration type][decoration number].
|
| 6: |
[Necklace Type]. It is [decoration type][decoration number].
|
| d6 |
Headwear Type |
Bracelet Type |
Glove Length: |
Necklace Type
|
| 1: |
crown (-2 Slap, +1 Titties) |
[Glove length] glove (-2 Legs, +1 Uhm) |
wrist length |
collar (-2 Uhm, +1 Titties)
|
| 2: |
tiara (-2 Legs, +1 Titties) |
bracer (-2 Titties, +1 Slap) |
wrist length |
choker (-2 Legs, +1 Slap)
|
| 3: |
headband (-2 Titties, +1 Legs) |
wristband (-2 Titties, +1 Legs) |
elbow length |
necklace (-2 Legs, +1 Titties)
|
| 4: |
skullcap (-2 Titties, +1 Uhm) |
armguard (-2 Slap, +1 Legs) |
elbow length |
neck guard (-2 Titties, +1 Slap)
|
| 5: |
helmet (-2 Titties, +1 Slap) |
armband (-2 Legs, +1 Slap) |
shoulder length |
ruffle (-2 Slap, +1 Titties)
|
| 6: |
hair tie (-2 Slap, +1 Legs) |
elbow pad (-2 Titties, +1 Slap) |
shoulder length |
tie (-2 Slap, +1 Uhm)
|
Decoration Type
| 1: |
studded with [decoration material]
|
| 2: |
lined with [lining type]
|
| 3: |
encircled by bands of [base materials]
|
| 4: |
menacing with spikes of [decoration material]
|
| 5: |
decorated with an image of [image type] in [base material]
|
| 6: |
decorated by hanging rings of [base material]
|
| d6 |
Base Material |
Decoration Material |
Lining Type |
Image Type
|
| 1: |
iron |
cubic zirconia |
fur |
a skull
|
| 2: |
steel |
iron |
tiger print fabric |
a heart
|
| 3: |
chrome |
steel |
leopard print fabric |
foreign calligraphy
|
| 4: |
brass |
chrome |
zebra print fabric |
the designer's mark
|
| 5: |
black leather |
brass |
wool |
a diamond
|
| 6: |
brown leather |
rhinestones |
leather |
an eye
|
Decoration number:
| 1-3: |
Add new decoration and repeat, rolling for another decoration number when finished.
|
| 4-6: |
End.
|
Heavy Weapons
This is a [weapon material][base weapon][decoration type][decoration number]. The grip is made of [lining type].
Weapon material:
| 1-2: |
iron
|
| 3-4: |
steel
|
| 5-6: |
bronze
|
Base Weapon:
| 1: |
[sword type] sword (medium (2) save)
|
| 2: |
[axe type] axe (hard (3) save, Titties -1)
|
| 3: |
[hammer type] hammer (hard (3) save, Titties -1)
|
| 4: |
[flail type] flail (hard (3) save, Titties -1)
|
| 5: |
[mace type] mace (hard (3) save, Titties -1)
|
| 6: |
[spear type] spear (medium (2), Titties -1, reach)
|
| d6 |
Sword Type: |
Axe type: |
Hammer Type
|
| 1: |
straight bladed, single edged |
single bladed |
single headed, round
|
| 2: |
straight bladed, double edged |
single bladed, bearded |
single headed, square
|
| 3: |
curved bladed, single edged |
double bladed |
single headed, round, spiked
|
| 4: |
curved bladed, double edged |
double bladed, bearded |
single headed, square, spiked
|
| 5: |
wave bladed |
single bladed, spiked |
double headed, round
|
| 6: |
serrated |
single bladed, bearded, spiked |
double headed, square
|
| d6 |
Flail Type |
Mace Type |
Spear Type
|
| 1: |
single headed |
round |
broad headed
|
| 2: |
spiked |
flanged |
narrow headed
|
| 3: |
flanged |
studded |
flanged
|
| 4: |
triple headed |
spiked |
barred
|
| 5: |
triple headed, spiked |
headless, spiked |
serrated
|
| 6: |
triple headed, flanged |
banded |
barbed
|
Decoration Type
| 1: |
studded with [decoration material]
|
| 2: |
lined with [lining type]
|
| 3: |
encircled by bands of [base materials]
|
| 4: |
menacing with spikes of [decoration material]
|
| 5: |
decorated with an image of [image type] in [base material]
|
| 6: |
decorated by hanging rings of [base material]
|
| d6 |
Base Material |
Decoration Material |
Lining Type |
Image Type
|
| 1: |
iron |
cubic zirconia |
fur |
a skull
|
| 2: |
steel |
iron |
tiger print fabric |
a heart
|
| 3: |
chrome |
steel |
leopard print fabric |
foreign calligraphy
|
| 4: |
brass |
chrome |
zebra print fabric |
the designer's mark
|
| 5: |
black leather |
brass |
wool |
a diamond
|
| 6: |
brown leather |
rhinestones |
leather |
an eye
|
Decoration number:
| 1-3: |
Add new decoration and repeat, rolling for another decoration number when finished.
|
| 4-6: |
End.
|
Light Weapons
This is a [base weapon], [decoration type][decoration number].
Base Weapon
| 1-2: |
[Dagger Type] dagger (easy (1) save, difficult (3) when flanking, can be thrown without penalty)
|
| 3-4: |
[Whip Type] whip (easy (1) save, reach, can trip, grab, and disarm without penalty)
|
| 5-6: |
[Bow Type] bow (easy (1) save, ranged)
|
| d6 |
Dagger Type |
Whip Type |
Bow Type
|
| 1: |
long bladed |
weighted |
flat
|
| 2: |
short bladed |
black leather |
short
|
| 3: |
wave bladed |
brown leather |
long
|
| 4: |
serrated |
multi-tailed |
decurve
|
| 5: |
tapered |
barbed |
recurve
|
| 6: |
broad bladed |
woven |
composite
|
Decoration Type
| 1: |
studded with [decoration material]
|
| 2: |
lined with [lining type]
|
| 3: |
encircled by bands of [base materials]
|
| 4: |
menacing with spikes of [decoration material]
|
| 5: |
decorated with an image of [image type] in [base material]
|
| 6: |
decorated by hanging rings of [base material]
|
| d6 |
Base Material |
Decoration Material |
Lining Type |
Image Type
|
| 1: |
iron |
cubic zirconia |
fur |
a skull
|
| 2: |
steel |
iron |
tiger print fabric |
a heart
|
| 3: |
chrome |
steel |
leopard print fabric |
foreign calligraphy
|
| 4: |
brass |
chrome |
zebra print fabric |
the designer's mark
|
| 5: |
black leather |
brass |
wool |
a diamond
|
| 6: |
brown leather |
rhinestones |
leather |
an eye
|
Decoration number:
| 1-3: |
Add new decoration and repeat, rolling for another decoration number when finished.
|
| 4-6: |
End.
|