Busty Barbarian Bimbos
Braindead Bimbo Barbarians is an in-progress /tg/ homebrew system where the players take on the roles of the titular characters in a "swords and sluttery" setting. Everything here is, at best, an early beta.
SLUT Engine
Slap: is a Bimbo's physical strings and capability to bring the hurt. It's the key component of melee combat and athletics.
Legs: is limberness and physical reflexes. It's key in shooting, throwing, acrobatics, stealth, etc.
Uhm: is the closest thing Bimbos have to Int. It's used for dealing with traps, using tech if things get sci-fi-ish, counting, and possibly some magic.
Tits: is charisma, sexuality, and lust. These are inseparable to a Bimbo. It's used for manipulation, feats of sexual pleasure, and possibly some magic.
These stats have a minimum of 1 and a maximum of 6 (though items and temporary mods can change this). When a bimbo attempts an action that has a chance to succeed or fail, the GM will call for a check against one of these stat. For an easy check, the player rolls 1d6. For a medium check, the player rolls 2d6, and the player rolls 3d6 for a difficult check. In all checks, if all dice rolled are equal to or below the bimbo's stat, she succeeds.
Rolling all ones results in a critical success, while rolling all sixes results in a critical failure. For criticals in combat, consult the relevant table. Non-combat criticals are currently up to the DM.
At the GM's discretion, a player may "raise" to increase the difficulty of a roll in exchange for a better result.
A Word on Math
Math is like, hard n' stuff. The SLUT engine is as math-lite as possible to accommodate in-character play and because it's funny in the context of the premise.
Character Creation
To create a bimbo, roll 3d6. The first d6 is the bimbo's Slap, the second is her Legs, and the third is her Uhm. Subtract the total from 19, and whatever is left over becomes her Titties. This process cannot take any stat over 6, so randomly assign any points that are left over. Bimbos have a base movement speed of 3. The GM may choose to allow starting equipment as well, usually a weapon and a generic, poor quality outfit that provides no modifiers.
Alternate character gen:
Produces lower-powered bimbos but has less random redistribution of points:
To create a bimbo, roll 3d6. The first d6 is the bimbo's Slap, the second is her Legs, and the third is her Uhm. To determine Tits, start from zero and add one for each roll of 3 or 4, add two for each roll of 1 or 2. If the total Tits is under 2, subtract 1 each from Slap, Legs, and Uhm for being a filthy cheater, and set Tits to 1. Equip your bimbo with one accessory, one top, one bottom, and footwear. This starting equipment grants no bonuses or special abilities. Roll up one heavy weapon and one light weapon from the table below. At the GM's discretion you may select your own equipment.
Beginning Abilities
Next, choose two of the following features.
Bounce
any character attempting to engage a bimbo with the Bounce ability must make a Difficult check instead of the normal Medium check.
Cleave
When you hit with a Slap or Legs-based attack, you may make another attack. May only be used against opponents you are currently engaged with.
DTF
Upon a successful Legs check to engage an enemy, a bimbo with the DTF ability may make her immediate attack attempt as an Easy Legs or Slap check (if it normally would have been Medium), or as a Medium Legs or Slap check (if it would normally have been Difficult).
Flash
When you would be hit by an attack from an appropriately oriented enemy, force a re-roll. Lose any abilities and modifiers attached to your top, and your top may not be used for a wardrobe malfunction again, until the end of your next turn.
Flex
When you would make a Titties check, make a Slap check instead. On a failure, lose access to Slap for one turn.
Ms. Smarty Pants
A bimbo with the Ms. Smarty Pants may opt to bring her Tits score to 0 for one combat turn (or the remainder of a scene outside combat) to make Uhm checks at reduced difficulty. Make an Easy check where it would otherwise be Normal. Make a Normal check where it would otherwise be Difficult.
Rawr
When you grab an enemy, you cannot let go or be forced to let go while that enemy is capable of fighting back. Neither you nor this enemy may attack or be attacked by other characters.
Upstage
When an ally of a bimbo with Upstage is engaged with an enemy, the bimbo with Upstage can engage that same foe or foes with a Medium Tits check instead of a Legs check (this check is unaffected by Bounce). On success, the ally is no longer engaged with anybody.
Watch Where You're Going
While engaged with the same opponent as a allied bimbo, if the ally misses a Slap or Legs-based attack, you may make a medium Slap check. On a success the ally make make an additional attack attempt and loses access to Uhm for a single turn. Of failure, the bimbo that tried to use this ability loses access to Uhm for a single turn. This ability may be used outside the normal turn order, but only once per turn.
Character Advancement
Generally speaking, a braindead bimbo improves her effectiveness by acquiring nicer clothes, a fancier weapon, and better-coordinated accessories. From time to time, typically after a significant achievement by the player characters, a milestone in the overarching story of the game, or a particularly good spa session, the GM may dictate that the characters themselves, not their garments, accessories, and weapons, have improved significantly. Inherent character advancement takes place in the form of changes to a bimbo's list of abilities, and consists of adding to or modifying the bimbo's list of abilities.
Advanced Abilities
When instructed to by your GM, select an additional ability from the list above (under Character Creation) or one of the advanced abilities below:
Brazen Disregard
A bimbo with Brazen Disregard may make a ranged attack against a target that is currently engaged in melee as a Normal Legs check.
Frugal
A bimbo with the Frugal ability may make a Medium difficulty Uhm check to resist purchasing any Medium or High quality equipment that is labeled as being "on sale." She may also attempt a Difficult Uhm check to resist purchasing any Medium or High quality equipment that is labeled as "buy two get one free."
Oh No You Didn't
A bimbo with Oh No You Didn't that sacrifices an article of clothing to negate an attack may reduce the difficulty of checks to engage with or strike the attacker in melee at a reduced difficulty. Legs checks to engage with the attacker are reduced from Difficult to Normal or Normal to Easy. Slap or Legs checks to harm the attacker are reduced from Hard to Normal or Normal to Easy. This benefit lasts for the rest of the combat.
Quick Shots
A bimbo with Quick Shots that is making a ranged attack may increase the difficulty of her Legs check to include an additional target. This makes what would have been an Easy attack against one target a Normal attack against two, or make what would have been a Normal attack against one target a Difficult attack against two.
SlapStorm
A bimbo with SlapStorm that is making a melee attack may increase the difficulty of her Slap or Legs check to include an additional target. This makes what would have been an Easy attack against one target a Normal attack against two, or make what would have been a Normal attack against one target a Difficult attack against two.
Tittiemancy
Upon selecting Tittiemancy as an advanced ability, a bimbo immediately received a number of Mana Tokens equal to her Tits attribute and may select a number of Tittiemancy Spells equal to her Uhm stat. See the Magic section for more information.
Modifying Abilities
Sometimes an ability just doesn't turn out to be as handy as you thought it would be. Every time your GM instructs you to add a new ability to your bimbo, you may also select a single ability you already had and replace it with a new one (either from the beginning abilities list or the advanced abilities list, player's choice).
NPCs
NPCs in Braindead Bimbo Barbarians have one stat, which is based on what they are. For example, a dragon might have the stat "Dragoning (6)," which it would roll against to burn peasants, fly, and horde treasure. For other actions, the dragon would roll against the target number of 2. NPCs may have special abilities as well.
For any rule that describes the use of a specific bimbo stat (Slap, Legs, Uhm, or Tits), the NPC's single stat may be substituted at the GM's discretion.
Combat
Sometimes bimbos get into fights. In Braindead Bimbo Barbarians they get into fights a lot.
Attack
To attack, a Bimbo or NPC rolls against the appropriate stat (usually Slap or Legs for bimbos). Normally, attacking is a medium check, but circumstances may increase or decrease the difficulty, most notably flanking, which renders it an easy check.
Damage
Successful attacks against an unavailable stat render that character incapacitated in a manner chosen by the DM.
Wardrobe Malfunction
Losing use of a stat for a full turn can be pretty bad, and two successful hits in a row can incapacitate a character, but hit points and status effects are complicated and make a bimbo's head hurt. Instead, a bimbo that has been successfully attacked may make a Medium Tits check and sacrifice an article of clothing (top, bottom, or footgear) to negate an attack. The object sacrificed is ruined. Additional articles of clothing may be sacrificed if the first (or second) attempt fail. Objects sacrificed in this manner are rendered useless.
Other Defenses
At the GM's discretion, some NPCs' single stats grant them the ability to save against attacks as though they had articles of clothing. This may represent a non-player-character bimbo, another character with articles of clothing, or just a particularly-tough monster. GMs are advised to use this option sparingly.
Critical Hit Tables
Bimbos
1: | No additional effect |
2: | Pass a medium Slap check or be stunned (all attacks on next turn default to difficult instead of medium difficulty). |
3: | Pass a medium Legs check or be knocked prone (for the next turn, incoming attacks require only an easy check, cannot move). |
4: | Pass a medium Uhm check or [A BAD THING] |
5: | Pass a medium Titties check or become intimidated (all attacks against attacker default to difficult instead of medium difficulty for the duration of the fight) |
6: | Roll on Bimbo Major Critical Hit Table |
1: | +1 damage |
2: | Enemy grabs |
3: | Enemy pushes one square |
4: | Enemy disarms |
5: | Roll twice on Bimbo Critical Hit Table, rerolling 1s and 6s |
6: | Roll on Bimbo Catastrophic Critical Hit Table |
1: | +2 damage |
2: | Roll twice on Bimbo Major Critical Hit Table, rerolling 1s and 6s |
3: | Long Term Injury (-1 Slap) |
4: | Nerve Damage (-1 Legs) |
5: | Head Injury (-1 Uhm) |
6: | Scar (-1 Titties) |
NPCs
1: | +1 damage |
2: | +2 damage |
3: | Attacker may immediately roll to trip |
4: | Attacker may immediately roll to grab |
5: | Attacker may immediately roll to push (colliding with an obstacle causes 1 damage, colliding with another character causes both to fall prone) |
6: | Attacker may immediately roll a second attack |
Critical Miss Tables
Bimbos
1: | No additional effect |
2: | Dropped weapon |
3: | Drop random non-weapon equipment |
4: | Weapon caught in hair (can disentangle by either passing a medium Legs check or taking one damage, can attempt once per turn) |
5: | Weapon caught in clothes (can disentangle by either passing a medium Legs check or dropping a piece of equipment, can attempt once per turn) |
6: | Roll on Bimbo Major Critical Miss Table |
1: | Throw weapon d6 squares in a random direction |
2: | Move 1 square in random direction (collide with wall = 1 damage, collide with character=both prone) |
3: | Weapon stuck in ground/wall (medium Slap check to remove) |
4: | Off balance until the end of next turn (require an easy check to hit) |
5: | Trip self (cannot move until end of next turn, and require an easy check to hit) |
6: | Roll on Bimbo Catastrophic Critical Miss Table |
1: | Roll an attack against a piece of equipment. On a hit, it is destroyed. |
2: | Weapon destroyed. |
3: | Target may immediately roll a counter attack. |
4: | Roll an attack against yourself. |
5: | Roll an attack against the nearest ally to the target, or yourself if none are in range. |
6: | Roll twice on the Bimbo Major Critical Miss Table |
NPCs
1: Save or fall prone |
2: Save or move into a random adjacent square and fall prone (colliding with an obstacle causes 1 damage, colliding with another character causes both to fall prone) |
3: For the next turn, all attacks are hard difficulty checks |
4: For the next turn, only requires an easy check to be hit |
5: Attack an ally in range, or self if none are available |
6: Attack self |
Movement
Outside of combat, movement happens at GM discretion. Generally speaking, you cannot expect a bimbo in high heels to walk for more than an hour or two at a time; those things are uncomfortable.
Engaging an Opponent
Characters in combat are either engaged in melee with another character or not; let's not spend a lot of time tracking distances and stuff. That's complicated.
If two characters aren't engaged in melee and one of them wants to change that (maybe somebody with a sword wants to make an attack), she may make a medium Legs check to close the gap. Failure means that her opponent outmaneuvered her. NPCs use whatever their stat is, as usual. The person being engaged may opt to concede that melee is starting up and just skip the die roll.
If a bimbo successfully engages an opponent, she may immediately make an attack roll based on Legs or Slap. An NPC that successfully engages an opponent may immediately make an attack if the GM deems it appropriate. This represents the attacker having charged in swinging or thrusting her weapon.
Disengaging from an Opponent
Once engaged, a Bimbo may disengage with a Medium check against Slap, Legs, or Tits. If there are multiple opponents engaged, a Difficult check is required instead. This represents her shoving, dodging, or bluffing her way out of peril.
If a bimbo successfully disengages an opponent, she may immediately make an attack roll based on Legs or attempt to engage a different opponent as described above.
Other uses of Movement
Flanking
When engaging an opponent that is already engaged, a character may choose to flank her opponent. All Slap, Legs, or Uhm-based attacks against a flanked opponent that the attacker is engaged with is an Easy check if it would otherwise have been Medium. Such attacks are Medium checks if they would otherwise have been Difficult. Tits-based attacks suffer from the flanked target being already distracted, and become Medium checks if they would otherwise have been Easy, or a Difficult check if it otherwise would have been Medium.
Cover
At the GM's discretion, a combatant that is not currently engaged may make a Legs check to seek cover. The GM's discretion is important here because there may be no cover available. A character benefiting from cover cannot be attacked by opponents that have not engaged her. A character seeking to make a ranged attack against an opponent benefiting from cover may make a Difficult Legs check to remove the cover status (this represents finding an angle of attack from which the cover is irrelevant).
Grids / Hex Maps
From time to time, the GM may find it convenient to use a map to present the details of how various terrain features and characters are positioned during a tactical situation. In this case, assume that each square or hex is one yard or meter, and that each bimbo may move four squares or hexes plus her Legs stat as part of a normal Medium Legs check. Moving half that distance is an Easy Legs check. Moving twice that distance is a Difficult Legs check. All counting of movement must be performed by the GM, as counting is math, and math is hard for bimbos.
If everybody at the table agrees to a given move action, any character may move anywhere on the map. Die rolls and counting should be resorted to only when there is an objection.
Equipment
The following are intended as master tables for randomly-stocked purveyors of equipment, items found in treasure hordes and abandoned closets, et cetera.
Outfit Material Generation Tables
To randomize entire outfits, use these tables to generate a garment material, primary decorative material, secondary decorative material, and lining material. Fill in these materials as needed for all parts of the outfit. Otherwise, you may generate items individually.
d6 | Garment Material | Primary Decorative Material | Secondary Decorative Material | Lining Material |
1: | Cloth | Cloth | Metal | Cloth |
2: | Cloth | Cloth | Metal | Cloth |
3: | Metal | Metal | Metal | Fur |
4: | Fur | Fur | Gem | Fur |
5: | Leather | Leather | Gem | Leather |
6: | Leather | Leather | Gem | Leather |
- For footwear, add two to the garment material type (more likely to be leather, won't be cloth). Roll footwear separately if creating a full outfit and the garment material would otherwise be "cloth"
d6 | Low Quality | Medium Quality | High Quality |
1: | canvas | satin | silk |
2: | canvas | satin | silk |
3: | cotton | satin | silk |
4: | cotton | velvet | fishnet |
5: | wool | velvet | fishnet |
6: | wool | velvet | fishnet |
d6 | Low Quality | Medium Quality | High Quality |
1: | copper | bronze | gold |
2: | copper | bronze | gold |
3: | chrome | iron | platinum |
4: | brass | iron | platinum |
5: | tin | steel | titanium |
6: | nickel | silver | titanium |
d6 | Low Quality | Medium Quality | High Quality |
1: | beaver | wolf | leopard |
2: | beaver | wolf | leopard |
3: | deer | wolf | tiger |
4: | deer | bear | cheetah |
5: | rabbit | bear | zebra |
6: | rabbit | bear | zebra |
d6 | Low Quality | Medium Quality | High Quality |
1: | raw | black | white |
2: | raw | black | white |
3: | raw | black | white |
4: | brown | maroon | red |
5: | brown | maroon | red |
6: | brown | maroon | red |
d6 | Low Quality | Medium Quality | High Quality |
1: | rhinestone | lapis lazuli | diamond |
2: | rhinestone | lapis lazuli | diamond |
3: | bone | lapis lazuli | sapphire |
4: | bone | amber | sapphire |
5: | cubic zirconia | amber | ruby |
6: | cubic zirconia | amber | ruby |
Decorations
Many pieces of equipment, whether garments, weapons, or accessories, have additional embellishments on them. The following is a general table for use in random equipment creation:
d6 | Decoration Type |
1: | studded with [secondary decoration material] |
2: | lined with [lining material] |
3: | encircled by bands of [primary decoration material] |
4: | menacing with spikes of [secondary decoration material] |
5: | decorated with an image of [image type] in [primary decoration material] |
6: | decorated by hanging rings of [primary decoration material] |
d6 | Image Type |
1: | a skull |
2: | a heart |
3: | foreign calligraphy |
4: | the designer's mark |
5: | a diamond |
6: | an eye |
Equipment Generation Tables
To generate equipment using these tables, start with the sentence at the top and roll d6s to fill in the brackets. These tables are an optional tool for the DM.
Shoes
This is a pair of [garment material] [base shoes]. They are [heel type] [decoration type].
d6 | Base Shoes |
1-2: | sandals |
3-4: | [boot size] boots |
5-6: | pumps |
d6 | Boot Size |
1: | ankle high |
2: | mid calf |
3: | below the knee |
4: | knee high |
5: | above the knee |
6: | thigh high |
d6 | Heel Type |
1: | flats |
2: | short wedges |
3: | high wedges |
4: | stilettos |
5: | platforms |
6: | stilettos, with platformed toes |
Bottoms
This is a [garment material][base bottoms]. It is [decoration type].
d6 | Base Bottoms |
1: | thong |
2: | miniskirt |
3: | loincloth |
4: | pair of hotpants |
5: | skirt |
6: | pair of panties |
Tops
This is a [garment material][base tops]. [Pauldron Base] It is [decoration type].
d6 | Base Tops |
1: | bodice |
2: | tube |
3: | string bikini top |
4: | titplate |
5: | bra |
6: | halter top |
d6 | Pauldron Base |
1: | Skip. |
2: | It has one small [garment material] pauldrons attached. |
3: | It has two small [garment material] pauldrons attached. |
4: | It has one large [garment material] pauldrons attached. |
5: | It has two large [garment material] pauldrons attached. |
6: | It has one large and one small [garment material] pauldrons attached. |
Accessories
This is a [garment material][base accessory]. It is [decoration type].
d6 | Base Accessory |
1: | pair of glasses. |
2: | bag. |
3: | [Headwear Type]. |
4: | ring. |
5: | [Bracelet Type]. |
6: | [Necklace Type]. |
d6 | Headwear Type | Bracelet Type | Glove Length | Necklace Type |
1: | crown | [Glove length] glove | wrist length | collar |
2: | tiara | bracer | wrist length | choker |
3: | headband | wristband | elbow length | necklace |
4: | skullcap | armguard | elbow length | neck guard |
5: | helmet | armband | shoulder length | ruffle |
6: | hair tie | elbow pad | shoulder length | tie |
Heavy Weapons
This is a [weapon material][base weapon][decoration type]. The grip is made of [lining type].
d6 | Weapon material: |
1-2: | iron |
3-4: | steel |
5-6: | bronze |
d6 | Base Weapon: | Ranged | Long | Normal | Close | Skin-To-Skin | Save |
1: | [sword type] sword | n/a | penalty | normal | penalty | n/a | medium (2) difficulty |
2: | [axe type] | n/a | penalty | normal | n/a | n/a | hard (3) difficulty |
3: | [hammer type] hammer | n/a | penalty | normal | n/a | n/a | hard (3) difficulty |
4: | [flail type] flail | n/a | penalty | normal | n/a | n/a | hard (3) difficulty |
5: | [mace type] mace | n/a | penalty | normal | n/a | n/a | hard (3) difficulty |
6: | [spear type] spear | normal | normal | penalty | n/a | n/a | hard (3) difficulty |
d6 | Sword Type: | Axe type: | Hammer Type |
1: | straight bladed, single edged | single bladed | single headed, round |
2: | straight bladed, double edged | single bladed, bearded | single headed, square |
3: | curved bladed, single edged | double bladed | single headed, round, spiked |
4: | curved bladed, double edged | double bladed, bearded | single headed, square, spiked |
5: | wave bladed | single bladed, spiked | double headed, round |
6: | serrated | single bladed, bearded, spiked | double headed, square |
d6 | Flail Type | Mace Type | Spear Type |
1: | single headed | round | broad headed |
2: | spiked | flanged | narrow headed |
3: | flanged | studded | flanged |
4: | triple headed | spiked | barred |
5: | triple headed, spiked | headless, spiked | serrated |
6: | triple headed, flanged | banded | barbed |
Light Weapons
This is a [base weapon], [decoration type].
d6 | Base Weapon | Ranged | Long | Normal | Close | Skin-To-Skin | Save |
1-2: | [Dagger Type] dagger | normal | n/a | penalty | normal | normal | easy (1) difficulty (hard when flanking) |
3-4: | [Whip Type] whip | n/a | normal | normal | penalty | normal | easy (1) difficulty, can trip and disarm without penalty |
5-6: | [Bow Type] bow | normal | n/a | n/a | n/a | n/a | easy (1) difficulty |
d6 | Dagger Type | Whip Type | Bow Type |
1: | long bladed | weighted | flat |
2: | short bladed | black leather | short |
3: | wave bladed | brown leather | long |
4: | serrated | multi-tailed | decurve |
5: | tapered | barbed | recurve |
6: | broad bladed | woven | composite |
Magic
this is more in the "discussion" phase of things than anything else, so I'm putting this here instead of the main article for the moment --Burrowowl 18:44, 26 March 2012 (BST)
Items
Advanced weapons, accessories, and garments should grant alternate stats, special actions, or access to abilities rather than numeric modifications to a character. This is in keeping with the "math is hard" ethic.
Some example items may be something like
- Tyrant Lizard Boots These calf-high go-go boots are crafted from the hide of a Tyrannosaurus Rex and goes nicely with any black, white, or green garments. A bimbo wearing these boots gain one free Wardrobe Malfunction per turn when engaged in melee with more than one opponent (the boots are not damaged by this one free use).
- Moonsilk Bustier This alluring top is woven from mystical moonsilk, and goes nicely with white, red, and blue garments. A bimbo wearing this bustier gains the benefits of the Bounce ability.
For a broad variety of adventure concepts suitable for BBB, there is no good reason for the villains to have items that a bimbo would be interested in using, which would tend to limit opportunities to replace ruined equipment and participate in the time-honored process of character advancement by way of getting better stuff. Magic is one way to allow bimbos to turn available materials into weapons, accessories, and garments without skinning anything or ruining their nails.
Spellcasting
Start with an advanced ability called Tittiemancy (the magic of Tits). This does a couple of things:
Tokens
A bimbo with Tittiemancy gets a number of poker chips equal to her Tits attribute. Having physical chips to represent how much magical oomph she has will help avoid having to write down exactly how many she has at any given time, which could quickly turn into math. All Tittiemancy spells cost a single token to invoke, which avoids any mandatory counting; just grab a chip and hand it to the GM while you declare your action.
Replenishing Tokens
- Once per day, when a bimbo puts on her makeup, she regains 1 mana token. On a successful Normal Tits check, she receives two instead.
- Whenever a bimbo receives a new garment or accessory of Medium Quality, she regains 1 mana token.
- Whenever a bimbo receives a new garment or accessory of High Quality, she regains 2 mana tokens.
- If replenishing mana would otherwise take a bimbo over her maximum quantity (normally her Tits score), she may make a Difficult Tits check to go over her maximum. Petty rules like that don't apply so much to pretty people.
Spells
Upon selecting the Tittiemancy ability, a bimbo gains access to a number of spells equal to her Uhm stat. A smart and beautiful Tittiemancer is a terror. This means, of course, that we need at least six spells. Heh.
- Clairvoyance - Roll a Difficult Tits check. On a success, the bimbo spaces out severely, her mind wandering to other places. Literally. The material component here would be a shiny object or nice pair of shoes, not necessarily in the immediate possession of the caster.
- Create Item - spend a token on a suitable incapacitated enemy ("suitable" as the GM's discretion) and render it into a garment, accessory, or weapon. Consult with the GM and the equipment tables to determine the exact item and its benefits.
- Defensive Flaking - roll a Difficult Tits check. On a success, the caster is not considered to be engaging any other character, no other character is considered to be engaging her, and no character may target her for any purpose (friendly or hostile) for a full turn. This must be the only action the caster takes this turn.
- The Difference is I Make This Look Good - make a Normal Tits check and pay a mana token to cast this spell. You may immediately make an attack that would normally be governed by Slap or Legs with a Tits check instead
- Future Lower Back Pain - cast this spell and make a Tits check at normal difficulty. If successful, the caster is treated as having a 6 score in Tits for the remainder of the scene/combat.
- Hands Off - When a bimbo with Hands Off successfully uses a Wardrobe Malfunction or Flash to negate a melee attack, the range of engagement with the attacker is shifted to whatever the bimbo prefers, up to and including disengagement.
- Mass Invisibility - roll a normal Tits check. On a success, all the caster's allies are immediately rendered invisible in respect to any character with line of sight to the caster. Creatures affected by Mass Invisibility return to normal upon being attacked for damage, losing line of sight with the caster, or if the caster performs any action other than moving.
- Oh That's Where I Put It - A bimbo with OTWIPI that has had equipment damaged or destroyed during a scene may, immediately after the scene is resolved, make a Normal Tits check to discover that one of the objects was not actually harmed at all, and was simply misplaced. Oops. This ability may only effect items that were in the immediate posession of the bimbo with this ability when they were damaged or destroyed, and can only effect one item per scene.
- Offensive Flaking - Roll a Difficult Tits check. On a success, the target is not considered to engage others (though it may still be engaged by others that wish to). The target considers all other creatures (friend or foe) to be invisible and inaudible until it is struck by a damaging action or the scene ends.
Assumed Setting Information
Braindead Bimbo Barbarians assumes that all player characters are attractive young women in skimpy clothing that go around adventuring for some reason or other, often involving getting into fights with enemies that would just as soon kill, kidnap, enslave, and/or ravage them (any or all of the above, not necessarily in that order). Adventures do not happen in a vacuum, so there must be a setting for these adventures to happen in and challenges for the bimbos to overcome.
The following is one take on a setting appropriate for a BBB game:
Dark Moon, a Post-Apocalyptic Wasteland
Once this was a verdant, fertile, propserous land. The menfolk toiled in the fields and protected the towns, and the world was as it should be. Then the man-kings rose to power. Using forbidden technology and foul magics, the man-kings leeched the very manliness from the air, water, and soil around them, gathering its power and hording it for themselves. The women-folk looked on in horror as their husbands, fathers, and sons withered before their very eyes, their masculine stubble thinning out to peach fuzz, their muscles shrinking away to near-usefulness, their vitality and enthusiasm in the bedroom almost completely sapped. The man-kings captured and enslaved thousands of subjects to toil in their factories. They castrated hundreds and pressed them into service as eunuch-soldiers for their incessant wars against each other. They thundered across the wastelands in their Ford F-150s and Dodge Rams with the KC lights and lifted suspension kits bringing down wild game with guns and spear and their own bare hands.
Grimdark cities surrounded by parched, craggy badlands belch black smoke into the sky. Storm-ravaged seas crash dark waves against rocky shores. Forboding mountains quake with volcanic eruptions and landslides. Bones and broken weapons litter battlefields ancient and new along the borders between the realms of the individual man-kings. Dragons wheel in the sky, vomiting flame and lightning at each other, sometimes at the man-kings' behest, sometimes as wild predators. In the realms of the man-kings this is an era of gasoline, magic, and heavy metal. In the wilds, it is a primitive struggle for survival, as man-kings greedily keep their secrets of automotive repair, barbecue cuisine, and other manly arts hidden away.
Humanity is now a shadow of what it once was. Continuous war, a ravaged environment, and premature ejaculation have taken their toll on the population. Only one child in ten is a boy now, and only one in ten of them survives to a effeminate adulthood without falling prey to sickness or being press-ganged into a man-kings' legions. In the man-kings' territories, women perform nearly all the labor, toiling in the hot sun or sweatshops. The fairest are taken away to serve in the pleasure palaces and temples. But not all people live under the man-kings' thumbs. In the icy mountains and deep jungles, small bands of free women live simple but desperate existences. These women rely on hunter-warrior women to bring food to their tables and fend off ravenous dinosaurs, great apes, and slavers.
Dark Moon, as a setting, provides a handful of character background archetypes for players to work with, a some stock antagonist types for the GM, and a veneer of an explanation as to why bimbos in bikinis might be running around with axes and swords killing stuff. About as skimpy an explanation as one of the heroines' miniskirt, but we aren't aiming for verisimilitude here. Verisimilitude is way too big a word to be involved.
Reference Material worth looking into
- The Dark Sun D&D campaign setting
- The movie Heavy Metal
- Every Iron Maiden album ever