Cat

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Revision as of 22:16, 15 November 2014 by 107.196.175.12 (talk)
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Do not be fooled by its appearance. This cat will wreck your shit.
This cat will just mongle your cock.
Cats are also known to caus- SQUAD BROKEN!!

A cat is a small, indestructible, furry automaton created by God to give you love and companionship when things fuck up your shit life. Nah, just kidding, nobody would love you, especially creatures who have some self-dignity. Contrary to popular belief, cats do not conspire at every possible turn to murder their owners and escape to the wilderness. Cats at times expand to fill all available space. (see Catsplosion)

Cats are accurately depicted in Dwarf Fortress.

An amusing consequence of the 3rd edition D&D system is that a domestic housecat is capable of demolishing first level commoners in combat, doing a point of lethal damage with a single bite or claw attack and being able to make two claw attacks and one bite attack in a single round. First level human commoners generally have between 1 and 5 hit points. However, longtime cat owners could testify that this is arguably realistic. For example, my ungrateful cat just scarred my hand, nyoro~n.

Cats in Warhammer 40k

It was confirmed in one of the Ciaphas Cain books that humans still keep cats as pets. And when you consider how many rats ad shit must be in those hive cities, it's not exactly surprising. They may become badass warp cats that fight for the Imperium or become pets for daemons too. Who knows. Sadly, they might also just be food for hive world inhabitants and feral worlds, anywhere where food is hard to find.

It's also fun to imagine what might happen if the AdMech were to find an old server back containing all of humanities old LOLcat photos... ah, wouldn't cybercats in red robes be awesome?

See also


Gallery

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