Cat

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Do not be fooled by its appearance. This cat will wreck your shit.
This cat will mongle your cock.
Cats are also known to caus- SQUAD BROKEN!!

A cat is a small, indestructible, furry automaton created by God to give you love and companionship when things fuck up your shit life. Nah, just kidding, nobody would love you, especially creatures who have some self-dignity. Contrary to popular belief, cats do not conspire at every possible turn to murder their owners and escape to the wilderness. Cats at times expand to fill all available space. (see Catsplosion)

Cats are accurately depicted in Dwarf Fortress.

Dungeons and Dragons

An amusing consequence of the 3rd edition D&D system is that a domestic housecat is capable of demolishing first level commoners in combat, doing a point of lethal damage with a single bite or claw attack and being able to make two claw attacks and one bite attack in a single round. First level human commoners generally have between 1 and 5 hit points. Further more, they are harder to hit on account of their tiny size and higher dex (which together give them an AC of 14). The size bonus also boosts there attack, and because they have weapon finesses, their dex does too (which together give them +4 to hit). However, longtime cat owners could testify that this is arguably realistic. For example, my ungrateful cat just scarred my hand, nyoro~n.

Cats in warhammer 40k

It was confirmed in one of the Ciaphas Cain books that humans still keep cats as pets. And when you consider how many rats and shit must be in those hive cities, it's not exactly surprising. They may become badass warp cats that fight for the Imperium or become pets for daemons too. Who knows. Sadly, they might also just be food for hive world inhabitants and feral worlds, anywhere where food is hard to find.

It's also fun to imagine what might happen if the AdMech were to find an old server bank containing all of humanity's old LOLcat photos... ah, wouldn't cybercats in red robes be awesome?

Not to mention if an ork found a cat and adopted it into the Waaagh probably not because a squig mite be hungry and see a cat as food or the other way around?

The ruinous powers Most definitely have cats with them cats of Khorne would be angry psycho kitties that eat weak cultist for dinner (see Dex-Starr). For renegades or horde tactics jumping out of a tree and clawing a guardsmen to death. Cats of tzeentch would be even more random Crazy then normal running up walls and shooting warp lasers out of there eyes not too mention being able best friends with lords of change just because cats eat birds doesn't mean they can't be best buds. Slaanesh cats.... you know what's going to happen I don't even need explain this. Cats of nurgle super friendly cuddly flea ridden snuggle buggles giving rides to nurglings in fact they don't even need to be rotten they could have fleas carrying diseases rubbing up to Loyalist and infecting them with Nurgle's love.

See also


Gallery

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