Emperor's To-Do List

The Emperor's list of Things to do after Resurrection

This article is awesome. Do not fuck it up.

This article contains PROMOTIONS! Don't say we didn't warn you.

The God-Emperor of Mankind has been taking a bit of a breather lately, but don't think that he has stopped caring and looking after humanity. As a matter of fact, the Adeptus Custodes happens to have this reassuring list of things that the Emperor intends to do once he's finished taking a little nap, and had a good breakfast.

Rules for new entries

1: Learn to spell, this is the Emperor's sacred list, not the toilet paper roll of an illiterate five year old.

2: Keep crossovers to a minimum, especially dumb ones. Before you make it, ask yourself "can it be funny without referencing non-warhammer stuff?" If the answer is yes, don't make the reference.

3: Read through the damn list before repeating the same damn thing over again, having five entries all asking for the same thing is stupid. Read it? Read it again!

4: Learn to be funny and not painfully annoying, jokes are fine, bad jokes are not, before you show us your wit, tell it to some friends and see if they laugh.

5: Avoid excessive strike-throughs and blamming as it makes it hard for all of us to read.

6: Anyone who declares a state of anarchy or refers to this article as a "thread" will be shot, dragged out behind the barnyard, beaten severely, then shot again.

7: If you can't make jokes, then put some effort to make an insightful or interesting submission. Think about what the God-Emperor would actually do when he wakes up to the sight of a regressing civilization.

8: Do not under any circumstance edit these rules.

9: FOR THE ETERNAL GLORY OF CHA (cough) umm, I MEAN THE EMPEROR

One click to bottom of list

395. Forge alliance with Eldar by finding, wedding, and screwing a hot space elf Farseer. (Channeling Personal Fetish)

396. Make the BLOOD RAVENS give me back my power sword i know they have it among those relics.

397. Beat the one second Chocobo race in exactly zero seconds.