Krizluk, M.D.

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The following article is a /tg/ related story or fanfic. Should you continue, expect to find tl;dr and an occasional amount of awesome.

The three goblins approached the pale, fallen figure. In the long shadows of dusk, their faces were obscured - except for their sharp, gleaming teeth as they approached the helpless woman, clad in so very little to protect herself against the predations of any who would come across her, merely meager garments of leather. She had straight blonde hair, her fluttering eyes shadowed with purple.

One of green monstrosities approached the fallen maiden, eyes wide. He quickly approached, laying a sharp-clawed hand upon her defenseless neck.

"Thank god!" said Krizluk. "She still has a pulse."

"Are you sure this is wise..." said Griglug. "Helping an... elf?"

"She is clearly not an elf - this is a human. Note the ears." said Krizluk with little patience. "A rarer breed and quite separate."

"Hrm... pale skin..... her breathing is shallow though.... from the looks of it, an allergic reaction." said Prid, ignoring his compatriots. "Here, see if she carries an alchemical injection."

Griglug complied, finding the injection and expertly administering it.

"Thank the gods.." breathed Krikluk. "Think what would have happened if three medical students hadn't been nearby, hmm?"

Suddenly, a figure loomed over them. Female, of a beautiful, demure looking nature, though clad in rather fantastic looking stockings.

The fair looking elf maiden surveyed the scene.

"Hey, gobbos, piss off." she said harshly. "This was my hume, now back off."

"Good ma'am, this lady is suffering a severe allergic reaction!" said Prid. "She needs to be brought to a hospital, or at least stabilized here!"

The elf narrowed her lovely, exotic eyes, looking at the diminutive creatures before her.

"This hume's my toy, get it?"

Krizluk's eyes blazed, as he drew out his alchemical rod, with a lightning stone embedded in the end, which hummed ominously.

"I will only say this once." he said in a steady tone. "By the honour of the Orcoid Medical School of Gronlar, and all its distinguished members, I will not - cannot! - allow you to take advantage of a lady so incapacitated. You have two choices. You can aid us in taking her to a hospital, or you can leave. Any other move you make will lead to me protecting her virtue, by force if need-be."

The elf paused, then scowled, sauntering off into the night with graceful poise.

"Hmph." muttered Griglug. "Like they always say - Around Elves, Watch Yourselves."

"Now, now, Griglug." admonished Krizluk. "You cannot stereotype a race by but a few members. You must also understand that there are greater socio-economic forces at here in Gronlar, that work against the less civilized, non-Orcoid races. Now, if you would not mind, go try to hail a carriage and we can take this young woman back to the hospital."

Together, the three medical students helped the woman into the carriage back. The driver looked back in concern - well, as much as a skeleton could make a facial expression. Some were concerned with the influx of skeletons into the city. Apparently, the Bonelands had once been a human nation. And of late, strange necromancy had brought many of the dead of this nation of this rare breed back to life. Of course, being reanimated, they had to do something. Skeleton immigration was at a high. A few were rather concerned with the amount of jobs they were taking - a skeleton didn't need to sleep, you see. Some were also concerned with "how something with only sockets" could see. Krizluck knew this was just ignorance - he had studied necromantic reanimation theory and so understood better than the average citizen how skeletal magical senses worked.

Usually skeletons could not talk, relying on a fantastically intricate form of sign language, helped by their flexible hands. Some, like this one, however did have sound-stones embedded to the inside of their skull.

"Oh dear. Is she alright?" said the skeleton, in a reverberating, kind baritone.

"Yes, just an allergic reaction. We have it under control but we desire to take her to the hospital, as quick as you can, my good man." said Krizluk. "I'll pay extra for the inconvenience."

"No, not at all." said the skeleton in his melodious voice that echoed deeply out of his skull. "I would not take advantage of such an emergency for money."

Krizluk could not help but smile at such generosity - especially since, for all he knew, the skeleton thought their passenger to be an elf. Slamming his foot down on the floor-lever, the alchemical processes were fired up in the steel-horse at the front of the carriage, and they were off in a flash.

The skeleton, being taller, helped the three medical students take the unconcious woman out of the carriage. It had parked in front of the hospital, a gleaming symbol to the dignity of the goblin race. Indeed, their surroundings were much more cleanly and beautified than the part of town they had found the poor girl, with grim but majestic Neo-Barbaric architecture.

As soon as they approached the door, it burst open. A large, overmuscled humanoid stood, glaring out. His skin was of a dull shade, his features, replete with tusks, making him look like some sort of boar-human hybrid.

"Oh deerie me, laddies!" said the Orc, in a light Orc-ney accent. "What kinda trouble did ye get into now? I thought I was doin' ye a kindness tellin' ye to take some time off!"

"No, no, good Gragstuk." said Krizluk. "We simply came across this human, unconcious, near the edge of they, ah, "Elven District". Even putting it in those terms, rather then the more common "Elftown", made Krizluk feel uncomfortably bigoted.

" 'Ere, let me help you wee laddies." said Gragstuk, taking the girl under the arms as the skeleton took her legs, the goblins being a bit short for carrying a human. As they approached an empty room, going down the clean, well lit corridors, the girl started to stir.

"Noo, noo, lass." said Gragstuk softly, his Orc muscles handling her easily. "Take it easy, weell get you in ta a bed nice and proper." He carefully laid her down in the hospital bed, drawing the sheets over her.

"Hmm, a hume, eh?" he said. "Ta clothes look positively... elvish in their immodesty."

"Human, Gragstuk. Human." said Krizluk gently, reminding his close friend of the more respectful, full term. "And her clothing matters little. Different races have a different cultural viewpoint on clothing, modesty and the role of females."

"Aye, yer right." said Gragstuck. "Ye wouldn't see me let my wee lass dressing like that, s'all I'm saying."

"And until she reaches the Gronlar age of voting, that is indeed your choice." joked back Krizluk. "But come, I think the lads are needing a bit of rest after this excitement. You all go ahead, I'll keep watch here."

The orc and the other two goblins made their way out. The skeleton bowed with mechanical precision before making his leave - Krizluk having to leap after him to make sure he took at least regular fare.

"We'll catch you for drinks later then." said Griglug, looking at his friend with faint concern. Krizluk was by far at the top of the class, and seemed to hold the position with casual ease. But Krizluk's constant crusading for the rights of all races was, while admirable, a bit of an obsession.

Krizluk nodded, taking a seat by the bed. He reached into his pouch at his side, (being summer, he was only wearing goblin-pants, as was the custom) removing a piece of Ghoulish literature he was reading "The Sweetness of Rotted Meat". It was wonderfully poetic - he was thinking about working on a Goblinish Translation.

However, the door to the room burst open. A tall, purplish-pale creature, with sharpened nails, a bony chest, pointed ears and a hideous, skull-like face entered the room.

"Speak of the Ghoul, and one would arrive." though Krizluk, privately chastising himself for thinking of the archaic saying.

"Yes, nurse Margaroth?" he said kindly. Thankfully Ghouls usually went unclothed (to the eternal uncomforting of Gragstuk), since otherwise it was rather difficult to tell gender.

The ghoul sucked in her breath, making a hissing noise. "I wasss told you brought an elf here, no?"

"A human, in fact." corrected Krizluk.

"Hmmph. I sssseeee it is sooooo." said the Ghoul, in a tone that sounded almost doubtful.

"But I alssssso heard that you brought a Sssssskeleton into the hossssspital. That issss mosssst unhygenic!"

Krizluk sighed inwardly. Nurse Margaroth was rather intolerant for his tastes - particularly when it came to skeletons. Of course, the situation between Ghouls and Skeletons was rather complicated. The Ghouls had owned the Bone Lands where the Skeletons had suddenly emerged - a situation that put both sides on edge. When the Skeletons discovered that the Ghouls had previously used the corpses of the bonelands for food - well, they were less than pleased. Violence followed, and the Ghouls militarily occupied the bonelands.

Due to this, many Ghouls and Skeletons in Gronlar did not get along well, bringing their conflict across the sea with them.

"Skeletons are entirely hygienic." he said with the weariness of someone giving an oft repeated speech. "Just because they sometimes emerge from the ground does not mean they do not know how to polish themselves, as it were."

Nurse Margaroth gave another low hiss. "Ssssstill. It isssss not ssssafe to let them into public buildingsssss. He could be a terrorissssst. Planning to blow ussss up!"

"Not all Skeletons are terrorists." continued Krizluk. "Yes, I understand that there are radical groups who did use alchemical bombs to attack your capital - and while I by no means agree with their methods, nor with the concept of revenge, you must understand the trauma in discovering that the Ghouls had used the Bone Lands to harvest marrow."

Nurse Margaroth scowled, which did nothing for her countenance. "I preferred the bonesss better when they did not walk. And when they did not desssstroy my home."

And with that she stalked out of the room. Krizluk frowned. He disliked Margaroth's bigotry, but he did understand her position. Her home and workplace had been destroyed by Skeletal Terrorists. She had been forced to emigrate to Gronlar because of this - only to find Skeletons arriving en masse not long after."

He put that out of his mind as he watched the human girl with sympathy. Humans were a luckless race. They had used to have a powerful nation, back in the past. But something had happened - all that was left was the haunted Bone Lands. Humans had been scattered. Indeed, there were likely more dead humans walking around as Skeletons than there were living ones at this point. In most cities across the world, even in this civilized nation of Hrakon, even in this shining city of Gronlar, humans were still marginalized, often living in isolated communities and falling prey to (sadly often Elven) criminals.

The biology of humans also appeared to have been damaged in whatever had ruined their nation. Human males had become more rare, and were often sickly, or suffered from maladies - most commonly blindness, loss of hair or worst, loss of sanity.

Human females thus had to make up lots of the workforce - and they were often ruthlessly exploited, their poverty meaning they rarely got a higher education, which was such a key to success. Most had to scrimp and save in any way they could - this being seen in human fashion - generally wearing as little as possible to save on fabric. That was likely why so many flocked to Gronlar - one was unlikely to freeze to death here.

But worst for these poor human girls were the Elves. Perhaps bitter at their own low status, they ruthlessly took their anger out on these hapless women, taking advantage of them in any way they could. But in his heart, he knew that the Elves themselves were but victims of persecution.

Krizluk was broken from his thoughts as he saw the human woman stir. She suddenly sat bolt upright, gasping.

"There, there" he said, easing her back down onto the low bed. "Take it easy. You have had a rather severe allergic reaction ma'am."

"W-where..." she said, looking around, confused.

"Orcoid Medical School of Gronlar" said Krizluk.

"How..." she murmured.

"My friends and I found you passed out in the street, Ms...?"

"Name's... Chloe" she said, giving a typical human name.

"You can call me Krizluk." he said. Krizluk Oggorazk, at your service."

She seemed a little non-plussed by this Goblinish courtesty.

"I was passed out?"

"Yes - it seems you had an allergic reaction."

She nodded. "Yes. I'm allergic to nuts."

"Oh... oh, I'm so sorry." said Krizluk with honest sympathy. Nuts were near-ubiquitous in the Elven District. The Elvish religion had them be strict vegetarians. And their favourite food was nuts. It was rare to go long without finding an elf with nuts in its mouth. Thus in Elf Town, with its low cleanliness policies, nut dust and byproducts were common. For such a girl to have to live in such an environment would be torture - taking her life into her hands just going outside.

"Look..." said Chloe. "I'm sorry I've been so much trouble. I'll leave..."

"No, no, not at all!" said Krizluk. "It was no trouble."

Chloe nodded, swinging her legs out of bed. "Well... I'm good now." she said, standing up. She opened the door and left, clearly a little uncomfortable with the surroundings. "I'll have to be getting back."

"Back?" said Krizluk. "We've seen that living in that... nutty place is bad for your health."

She turned for a moment and shrugged. "Where else do I go? Look Mister. I'm thankful that you helped. I really am. But you really didn't need to. My life is mine."

Krizluk was a little taken aback at this and nodded as she began to walk off down the street.

He watched her walk away. Suddenly a carriage pulled up in front of him. It was not pulled by an alchemical horse. A figure, of a dull greenybrown, polished to a sheen, vaguely goblinish in appearance was drawing it. The figure was naked, but had no indication of gender. A young grinning goblin sat atop the carriage.

"Need a lift sir?" he said. "I can get you there for half the price."

"Your carriage... it's pulled by a Golem." said Krizluk in shock.

"Sure, sir. Hell of a lot cheaper than trying to buy a mechanical animal."

"But look at it - it's straining! You have a collar around its neck!" said Krizluk, shocked. Golems were artificially created, true, the greatest achievement in Orcoid alchemy - but still!

The young goblin shrugged. "What of it? Not like its people."

That one phrase froze Krizluk. Not people. No. That was the sentiment - only Goblins were real people, hmm? Maybe Orcs and Ogres too. Not Elves. Not "Humes". Not "Skellies" or Ghouls. He looked up and down the street. There in an ally, two elven youths were gambling, rolling balls around, their mouths filled with nuts. There a Skeleton and a Ghoul were being pulled apart by a Goblin Police Officer (Well, really more by his Orcney helper.) And there, walking down the street, was Chloe, walking back to - to what? Likely a squalid tenement, filled with nut sacks. Perhaps to a cruel Elven mistress. He felt the fire in his heart that he had felt since all that time ago. No. No, she would not!

"Excuse me good sir." he said indignantly to the goblin youth aboard the carriage. "The government may allow Golem Slavery - but not for long! Not if I have my say! But until that day, good sir, please - go insert your own genitals up your rectum!" (That was about as foul as he got as a medical student.) The young Goblin looked shocked as Krizluk turned and ran down the street, grabbing Chloe by the hand.

"Hey, what are you doing?" she said.

"You are coming with me." he said, hailing a non-Golem carriage, damning the extra cost.

"Wha...?" she said.

"I am not going to let you die, choked because of nuts." he said firmly. "You are going to come with me to my place until I can find you somewhere sanitary to live."

"What the hell?" she said, as she was dragged into the carriage (Krizluk was remarkably stronger than he appeared). "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I want to help." he said, still feeling the burning within him. "Our city... so more civilized then the dark corners of the earth - and yet with such injustice still within it?"

She scowled. "Oh, is that it? Take one human girl away from nuts and you figure you can clean the whole nation up?"

"No." he said, staring at her directly as the carriage started. "No, but its a damned start."