Khorne
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Khorne is the Chaos God of violence, war, battle, strength, honor, bravery, hate and rage. He is also the world's biggest corn flake producer and likes to have BLOOD with them. He used to be about war in all its aspects, including martial honor (which some neckbeards still cling to), back when power was gained by hacking off people's heads with an axe and/or blasting them with a massive gun. Then Gav Thorpe went and assraped the Chaos codex. Now Khorne's just a loony who likes killing everything, though it has been said that he sends his bloodhounds after anyone who harms the innocent. Kharn is Khorne's champion, and despite everything he's pretty fun to be around. Khorne's followers are often characterized by a two dimensional love of tearing shit up and being overcome with blood lust.
Khorne was said to have originated during the Crusades. However, since hyoomanz aren't the only things that are sentient, there is some speculation as to the truth of this (the war in heaven makes more sense).
Khorne loathes Slaanesh, as Slaanesh is about living it up, while Khorne is about TEARING IT THE FUCK DOWN. Evidence supports Khorne being tsundere for Slaanesh, as once the Lord of Excess gave the Blood God a cup, and ever since he has EXPLODED IT WITH HATE only to pick it back up and try and put it back together. WHEN I HAVE REMOVED THE WRITER'S EMPTY HEAD FROM HIS SHOULDERS, KHORNE WILL SUBJECT HIM TO UNPARALLELED SUFFERING FOR HIS BLASPHEMY!!!
In Warhammer Fantasy, Khorne has a personal sex slave called Valkia the Bloody. Valkia and Khorne's sickfuckery begins when the aforementioned ugly bitch somehow managed to "defeat" a greater daemon and tried to deliver it's head to Khorne. Because whatever steroids she used to cheat during that fight wore off, she died in the Realm of Chaos. Khorne, needing some evidence to prove that he wasn't gay (given his preference for massive, hairy, muscular old men in heavy armor as his champions and his brief yet lustful affair with Billy Mays), took the bitch as his personal BDSM sex slave. The rest, as they say, is history.
Fun Khorne facts
- Khorne is the most powerful being in the cannon.
- His tongues of Chaos name is Kharneth, and I suppose it still is.
- Khorne is gay for Billy Mays (He needs the OxyClean to clean up all the blood!)
- In truth, the Angry Marines are about as Khornate as Khorne flakes.
LIEZ! They eat it every day! Which is why they were Exterminatus'd for being heretics.BLAM! Heresy!FUCK YOU COMMISSAR! FUCK YOU!
Khorne wields a greatsword instead of an axe, and wears black armor. IMPERIAL MAGGOT! COWARDLY, EFFETE SCUM! KHORNE, LORD OF BATTLES, GOD OF WAR, IS DESCRIBED IN MANY SOURCES AS WIELDING A MIGHTY AXE SO GREAT THAT WHEN HE MERELY LIFTS IT ENTIRE WORLDS DIE IN HORRIFIC CARNAGE. JUST AS HE IS DESCRIBED IN JUST AS MANY WITH HIS MIGHTY BLADE; WARMAKER! A BLADE WITH WHICH HE, IN A TERRIBLE RAGE, TORE AN ENDLESS CREVASSE IN HIS OWN DOMAIN OF CHAOS! WHEN I HAVE REMOVED YOUR MISERABLE HEAD FROM YOUR SHOULDERS, KHORNE WILL SUBJUGATE YE TO UNPARALLELED SUFFERING FOR YOUR BLASPHEMY!!!!
- Khorne wears rings made from the skulls of usurper war gods on his hands.
- Khorne is the strongest Chaos God, and also the first to become sentient (although Nurgle is the oldest).
- Khorne does it for the lulz.
- His sacred number is eight.
- KHORNE ORDERS YE TO SLAY!!!
- The Internet is for Khorne. SO USE IT TO FIND PEOPLE TO KILL!!! DO IT, FAGGOT!!!
- Khorne invented the first tool of hitting stuff to allow humans to contribute to his throne, which at the time was known as the Skull Chair.
- It is a well known fact that the two Bush people worshiped Khorne, as did JFK.
- Liberal hippy-dippy peaceniks want you to believe all conservatives are cultists of Khorne.
- He farted 5 miles under Haiti. I think we all know what happened next.
- Khorne's favorite music is CLASSIC METAL!!!
- Khorne is best buddies with Nurgle
- Khorne did WTC, and is, therefore, a Jew.
- Khorne likes Nurgle because of his cooking and they are often seen working together at the annual Warp Cook-off. This is because Nurgle is the only Chaos God that cooks nice shit... Even if what he cooks has bits of his own intestine mixed in.
- Khorne beat the Empra in an arm wrestling match.
- The Nightbringer is Khorne's bitch.
- The Empra too is Khorne's bitch. (YOU BET YOUR FUCKING ASSES HE IS, IMPERIUM!!! YOU BET YOUR FUCKING ASSES!!!)
- Khorne is Gork's Bitch.
- KHORNE CARES NOT FROM WHENCE THE BLOOD FLOWS, ONLY THAT IT FLOWS!
- WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL HERE?! YOU! SHOULD! BE! KILLING!! GET OFF YOUR FAT ASS AND FIGHT AND KILL SOMETHING, YOU PANSY SISSY FAGGOT MOTHER'S BOY!!!'
- Got his ass kicked and kicked hard by Gork and Mork once, and pretty much shat brixs when Gork and Mork inspired a Mekboy into building the first Gargant. But that's okay, because that caused such a mess in the warp that an Astropath jumped out a window shouting that his people were all doomed, an Eldar Philosopher wrote his death-haiku before comitting ritual suicide, all the other Chaos gods crapped themselves, and the Emprah's rotting eyes opened to display absolute terror; probably freaking out all of the Adeptus Custodes.
Gallery
- HERE'S A PICTURE OF HIM in Warhammer Fantasy (yes, I know, you probably enjoyed your own prior conception)
- AND ANOTHER ONE!
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Khorne's followers off the battlefield.
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Waffels for the Blood God!
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Khorne's trainers prefer violent Pokémon.
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Khorne cultist.
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Would have been a somewhat adequate picture, had they taken the right photographs of the actual Berzerkers. Lulz.
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Mark of Khorne.
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Cultist-chan, being a Jew.
See also
- Brass
- Angron - Daemon prince of Khorne, also Primarch of World eaters
- World eaters
- Kharn the Betrayer - A pretty fun guy to be around with.
| The Chaos Gods of Warhammer 40,000 and Warhammer Fantasy | |
|---|---|
| Four Main Chaos Gods: | Khorne - Nurgle - Slaanesh - Tzeentch |
| Other Gods of Chaos: | Archaon - Hashut - Horned Rat - Nuffle Malal - Morghur - Necoho - Zuvassin |
| Chaos Gods of Law: | Alluminas - Arianka - Solkan the Avenger |