Khorne

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MAIM KILL BURN! MAIM KILL BURN! This article has been purged of faggotry.

Khornate Berzerkers eat Khorne flakes for breakfast to give them the energy to kill, maim, burn everything in front of them.
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!! - The Chant of Khorne

Khorne (Pronounced: 'corn' 'that fucking S.O.B who came up with that joke will be disemboweled with a chainaxe!") is the Chaos God of violence, war, battle, strength, honor, bravery, hate and rage. He used to be about war in all its aspects, including martial honor (which still holds some relevance, he doesn't give two shits whether you kill a defenseless bitch, but if you try and make that into a sacrifice, Khorne will feel insulted and send his Bloodhounds after you. This is because Khorne only desires the skulls of worthy foes to add to his Skull Throne.), back when power was gained by hacking off people's heads with an axe and/or blasting them with a massive gun, this is usually done with the fine work of that magnificent bastard, and tactical genius. Then Gav Thorpe went and assraped the Chaos codex. Now Khorne's just a loony who likes killing everything (though the Black Crusade RPG goes some way to reversing this trend as they try to make some of the forces of Chaos more complex and sympathetic), though it has been said that he sends his bloodhounds after anyone who harms the innocent. Khârn is one of Khorne's champions, and despite everything he's pretty fun to be around. Khorne's followers are often characterized by a two dimensional love of tearing shit up and being overcome with blood lust.

It has never really been satisfactorily explained why pretty much everyone in both the Fantasy and 40k settings who goes into a beserker rage (I'm looking at YOU blood angels) isn't accused of falling to chaos when anyone who starts looking a bit pimp is burned for worshiping slaanesh. Then again, nowadays slaanesh is the only chaos god anyone seems to give two shits about anyway.

Khorne was said to have originated during the Crusades. However, since hyoomanz aren't the only things that are sentient, there is some speculation as to the truth of this (the war in heaven makes more sense).

Khorne loathes Slaanesh, as Slaanesh is about living it up, while Khorne is about TEARING IT THE FUCK DOWN.

In Warhammer Fantasy, Khorne has a personal sex slave called Valkia the Bloody. Valkia and Khorne's sickfuckery begins when the aforementioned ugly bitch somehow managed to "defeat" a greater daemon and tried to deliver it's head to Khorne. Because whatever steroids she used to cheat during that fight wore off, she died in the Realm of Chaos.

Oh yeah, and Valkia's getting a book soon.

PRAISE THE EMPEROR. READING FURTHER IS heresy. PREPARE TO BE EXECUTED. Daemon Prince BONECRUSHER hates faggotrocious commissars who think they have any power here. The offending commissar has thus been brutally executed.

Fun Khorne facts

In the grim darkness of the far future, there is still time for tea....
  • Khorne is the only being in canon who will always win. Anytime anyone gets angry? (all the fucking time in the grimderp universe) He wins. Anytime anyone kill someone else? (even more likely) He fucking wins. Given that he doesn't give a damn who's doing the killing or dying, it could be argued that EVERYONE (except that Kaldor Draigo fuck who has the blessing of Your Spiritual Liege) inadvertently is worshiping Khorne. Just as Planned...
  • Khorne the most powerful being in the canon, capable of GETTING SHIT DONE on a level undreamed by most of the other chaos gods(it is disputed that Tzeentch can get more done with his crazy future seeing shit, but everyone agrees that Khorne is the most direct) generally Chaos Books flip flops over whether Khorne or Tzeentch is the most powerful. So we'll just go ahead and say that like Gork and Mork they're equally powerful but Khorne is direct while Tzeentch is tricksy). The only thing he is unable to accomplish, regrettably, is overcome Games Worskhop's unwillingness to move the plot forward.
  • His tongues of Chaos name is Kharneth but Khorne really hates it when people use that name and kills anyone who utters it in his presence.
  • Khorne wears rings made from the skulls of usurper war gods on his hands.
  • Khorne is the strongest Chaos God, and also the first to become sentient (although Nurgle is the oldest). He became self-aware during that orgy of violence that was the Mongol Invasions, and he probably turned Genghis Khan into Doombreed.
  • Khorne's right hand man is Doombreed (who is Genghis Khan in Daemon Prince form), mightiest and oldest of all his servants. Angron, strongest of the Daemon Primarchs can't hold a candle to Doombreed. Doombreed launched the 5th Black Crusade which to date is the only somewhat successful one, Doombreed essentially declared war on the Adeptus Astartes and wiped out two chapters, though this still falls well short of it's goal of wiping out all one thousand chapters and every faction in the game has wiped out at least one chapter. Still, it's infinitely more than that armless failure has accomplished.
  • Khorne's left hand man is An'ggrath, but has only been in the materium twice. (Each time he entered it he did a shit load of damage.) An'ggrath and Angron are tied for the angriest mofo's to grace the immaterium. (Khorne can experience things other than rage and can experience things like being pleased or satisfied so he's not the generally angriest, but when he gets angry, he gets really angry.)
  • Khorne does it for the lulz.
  • His sacred number is eight.
  • KHORNE ORDERS YE TO SLAY. BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLZ FOR THE SKULL THRONE!
  • He once decided to troll humans for more than consecutive 5 seconds. The result was WW2.
  • He farted 500 miles under Haiti. I think we all know what happened next.
  • Khorne's favorite music is CLASSIC METAL!!!
  • Khorne is best fist bump buddies with Nurgle and drinking buddies with KHARN (He's just a nice guy!)
  • Khorne likes Nurgle because of his cooking and they are often seen working together at the annual Warp Cook-off. This is because Nurgle is the only Chaos God that cooks nice shit... Even if what he cooks has bits of his own intestine mixed in.
  • Khaela Mensha Khaine is Khorne's bitch and Khaine owes Khorne big time because Khorne saved Khaine's ass from being violated by Slaanesh. But Khorne is still trying to figure out how to get Khaine to pay the money he owes him since Khaine is kind of...broken.
  • Warhammer 40,000 Khorne punched that faggoty midget Matt Ward in the face for making his Warhammer Fantasy Battle counterpart befriend Slaanesh in the Daemons of Chaos Codex. He then kicked his fake-ass doppelganger in the face and told him WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?! YOU HAVE SORCERERS WHO DON'T EARN THEIR KEEP WITH BADASS FUCKING VOICE ACTING!! YOU'VE BEFRIENDED SLAANESH THE ETERNAL COCKSUCKER!! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY THAT YOU ARE ME!?! NO FUCK THAT YOU ARE A FUCKING DISGRACE!!!! DDDDDDDIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!! *CHOP REND TEAR ON A SCALE NEVER SEEN BEFORE OR SINCE*
  • Khorne wants to punch GW in the face for fucking up both 4th edition Chaos Codexes.
  • Khorne cares a lot for his armor and is pissed beyond chaotic recognition if it gets damaged. A bloodthirster named Skarbrand who was then the strongest Bloodthirster ever turned on him and put a chink on Khorne's armor as he Tzeentch told him that he was strong enough to take Khorne's place, ended up being beaten shitless which caused the Bloodthirster to go mad, thrown by Khorne himself out of his lair, flew for several days from the throw and eventually crashed down, ripping his wings off, ironically Skarbrand served Khorne better as an insane renegade than he ever did when he was loyal by killing way, way more people than he ever had before. Khorne made a bigger and even stronger bloodthirster named An'ggrath to take Skarbrand's place but never lets them meet, because he plans to have them fight to the death only after every last thing in the universe has been slaughtered in His name.
  • Khorne enjoys playing Chess. If only for the implied violence involved. In fact, it is well known that when Khorne and Tzeentch play chess, their pieces get up and move when the two gods tell them to, and Khorne's pieces violently eviscerate Tzeentch's whenever he takes it. This makes him a very aggressive chess player.
  • Khorne prefers his beer to be brewed from the blood, sweat, and tears of Space Marines, Inquisitors, Sorcerors, and furries.
  • Don't ask what Khorne does to hippies. Just don't.

Gallery

See also

The Chaos Gods of Warhammer 40,000 and Warhammer Fantasy
Four Main Chaos Gods: Khorne - Nurgle - Slaanesh - Tzeentch
Other Gods of Chaos: Archaon - Hashut - Horned Rat - Nuffle
Malal - Morghur - Necoho - Zuvassin
Chaos Gods of Law: Alluminas - Arianka - Solkan the Avenger
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