Konrad von Carstein

"FUCK LOGIC, I'M A VAMPIRE!"

Once upon a time there was a dude. He wasn't every smart...or rational...or stable, and one day, Vlad[the impaler?] Von Carstein decided that this crazy muthafucka deserved to be given Ungodly strength....possibly as a joke. Anyway, thus Konrad von Carstein was born! Having no idea what the fuck magic was, let alone any inkling of its control, Konrad relied heavily on necromancers to control his thousands upon thousands of mindless servants, and everything was great! He got to pillage, and slap children around to his heart's content, known as the "Red Fury," he was Vlad's right-hand man and scared the FUCK out of the empire, and apparently one time scaled a castle wall by himself, then killed everyone inside and pissed in their skulls during a siege.

Unfortunately, Vlad got robbed of his magical ring of neverdieness / overpowerosity and was impaled on a twig by the grand Theogonist, leaving Konrad in control of all of Sylvania's undead hordes. As commanding officer, Konrad was a DICK. He killed necromancers for making fun of his lack of magical talent(I think it's like a small dick in the undead world) and put them on huge fucking spikes Vlad Tepes style. No one liked him very much at all, so one day his necromancers decided to fuck him over! During some big fucking battle that would decide the fate of the world and probably lead it into 10,000 years of darkness or some bullshit, the necromancers just quit fucking playing, leaving Konrad all alone without his hero slots, controlling like 10,000,000,000,000 VP's worth of skeletons. His brains blew up on the inside a little bit from the stress of having to control so many worthless models, and he wandered into a forest going "NahNahNahNahNah," gnashing his teeth, and drooling all over himself. Apparently the army crumbled and the empire was all, "Holy shit! I thought we were doomed, good thing GW won't wipe the main race, let's get back to in-fighting!"

Apparently, some dwarf and the elector count of Ostland(who's dad was apparently butchered like a chump by Konrad) were waiting in said forest just in case a fucking vampire stumbled in while under the effects of some crazy-ass stupor. The dwarf tackled Konrad and held him down (even though he wasn't exactly going to prevent his death anyway) while Ostland stabbed him repeatedly with a runefang.

What a chump way to go!