Malal

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NOTE: Some sources may suggest that Malal does in fact exist, although the facts are not certain, and any & all evidence is under dispute. This article presupposes that Malal exists, and all statements should be considered theoretical. and heretical!

Followers of Malal are kind of like Chaos Agnostics. They doubt that anything exists, including the Emperor, God, Chaos itself, and you. Especially you. The Chaos Space Marines chapter known as the "Sons of Malice", with their alternating black/white colour scheme are as likely to kill Chaos Forces as anyone else on the field, except for each other.

"...and he that went before now came last, and that which was white and black and all direction was thrown against itself. Grown mightily indignant at the words of the Gods, Malal did turn his heart against them and flee into the chambers of space . . . And no man looked to Malal then, save those that serve that which they hate, who smile upon their misfortune, and who bear no love save for the damned. At such times as a warrior's heart turns to Malal, all Gods of Chaos grow fearful, and the laughter of the Outcast God fills the tomb of space . . ."

-- from The Great Book of Despair.

So anyway, Malal, when he was actually cannon, was the Chaos God of batshit loony self-destructive urges; Chaos battling Chaos. This also made him the God of paradoxes, radical Inquisitors and the like trying to turn Chaos against itself, and the outcast god since he was trying to buttfuck every other Chaos God and their followers. The thing about Malal was that even though he was one of the biggest personifications of Chaos there could be he constantly tried to destroy Chaos and if he were ever successful in ending Chaos he would be destroyed as well. Not that this pants-on head crazy a-hole cared.

Since Malal was supposed to be the antitheses of Chaos he had only a few champions, all of whom were supposed to be stupid powerful and would go around bitch-slapping other Chaos champions with their anti-daemon daemon-axes of doom while wearing warp-resistant warp armor and shouting praises to the Dark God Malal and death to Chaos.... so yeah. because of this followers of Malal have to already be balls to the wall nuts and have superhuman will. Malal's trademarks were black and white bisecting armor and a horned skull equally bisected black and white. His signature weapon was the dreadaxe which was a daemon weapon made out of a daemon that hates daemons. you can still find examples of this weapon in the CSM 3.5 dex and in Your Spiritual Liege's wonderful fluff assassin of a Codex: Grey Knights.

Malal has a fortress in the Chaos wastes where he captures and trolls Greater Daemons by trapping them for all eternity unable to do whatever it is that they embody. This one Greater Daemon of Slannesh he has, for example, is caught in a field that nullifies all sensation so it can't indulge in cocaine fueled sex parties with Doomrider, thus eternally pissing of said daemon forever in the only way that works.

But back in 2nd Ed. or something Geedubs lost the IP for Malal when the writer that came up with him left so they had to replace whim with "Malice", who is essentially the same guy but with alot less screen time. The trade-off is that he gets his own Chaos marine warband the Sons of Malice.

According to Lexicanum, unlike his brother god, he is capable of entering materium through demonic possession if his followers had enough sacrifice, which might make him the final boss of warhammer 40k NO!!! FUCK THAT RAT LOOKING FAGGOT!!!! I'M THE FINAL BOSS OF THIS UNIVERSE!!!!!

Malal is also apparently bad at art.

Getting Malal on the Table

Ironically (or appropriately depending on how you look at it) one of the best ways to represent Malal dedicated Chaos Marines would be to use the Grey Knights codex. Think about it; elite marine units with sick powers and a plethora of daemon killing hardware, small army sizes, radical Ordo Malleus Inquisitors with daemonblades and daemonhosts and more. Take a Draigo-Paladin spam list and use 'counts as' Chaos terminators for a nasty Chaos smashing elite warband of Malal followers and lolstomp your opponents into the ground.

Alternatively you can use C:CSM if you aren't a cheesed-out 12 year old or Daemonhunters vet.

The Truth

The truth is that someday in the 36th Millenium that the other four gods got really sick of Malal's constant interference in their plans. While Malal was at the time the strongest individual god, the other four knew that he couldn't deal with them all at once. So Tzeentch gathered the other gods and formulated a plan to deal with Malal once and for all. So one day Nurgle knocked on Malal's door and asked Malal to step outside, at this point Tzeentch signalled the others to attack and the other Chaos Gods jumped out from behind their cover and beat Malal to death. It required about a century of constant beating, but eventually Malal died. Upon his death the other Four Chaos gods celebrated for one thousand years now that the dick cheese was out of the way.

Sadly Malal's bastard offspring Malice and Zuvassin managed to slip away.

Also, GW's horribly retarded legal team lost the right to use Malal, hence the "the other gods was disappoint" retcon. Which is also disgustingly contradictory, because one source says that Khorne is the mightiest god, and another says Tzeentch, and now there's this bullshit.

However, it might be possible that Malal/Malice may just be an Alias for the Emperor, working in-cognito, looking into ways he can ultimately end the four-fold scourge of the Warp. It might be possible he would use "Malal/Malice", using the powers of the Dark Gods against them. That includes using the Sons of Malice(Gray Knights?). Just as soon as Kaldor stops sniffin' Warp Dust.

Followers of Malal

Scottish Koreans

Screaming Mimes

Uncle Ruckus

Liars

Ronald McDonald

Vegemonster