Nazi

This page is in need of cleanup. Srsly. It's a fucking mess.

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"I have in this War a burning private grudge—which would probably make me a better soldier at 49 than I was at 22: against that ruddy little ignoramus Adolf Hitler (for the odd thing about demonic inspiration and impetus is that it in no way enhances the purely intellectual stature: it chiefly affects the mere will). Ruining, perverting, misapplying, and making for ever accursed, that noble northern spirit, a supreme contribution to Europe, which I have ever loved, and tried to present in its true light." -J.R.R. Tolkien

"YOU UTTER FOOL! GERMAN SCIENCE IS THE FINEST IN ZE WORLD!!!" -Stroheim, an over the top Nazi and the first Guile.

Important note: although the armed forces of Germany during World War II are commonly referred to as Nazis, "Nazi" only refers to the political party. The regular German armed forces were the Wehrmacht, who were not necessarily Nazis (most likely "paper Nazis," citizens who took party membership solely for the benefits like "not being purged as a dissident"). After the war they were not considered Nazis, unlike the Waffen-Schutzstaffel, or Waffen-SS, which were the actual military arm of the Nazi party and declared an inherently criminal organization, though much like every WW2 party involved, were not complete saints either.

Historical

Nazi is the commonly used shorthand version of Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei (National Socialist German Workers' Party{Which is ironic, given that they hated communists} ), a political party which took over Germany ~~for 1,000 years~~ from 1933 to 1945. It also refers to people who belong to said party, their ideology, and their regime in Germany during said period of time. Led by Adolf Hitler, the Nazi Party emerged from the uncertainty and political upheaval due to the Red Scare, the end of the German Empire after the Great War, resentment at unfair conditions imposed by Treaty of Versailles, economic uncertainties due to the Stock Market crash of 1929, German ethnic nationalism, a desire to blame things on scapegoats, and a belief in militarism popular among many returning veteran's. They were also aided by their invention of modern campaigning and propaganda, wide-spread dissatisfaction with the status quo, the strategic seizure of the political positions that controlled the police force, and more dumb luck than anyone has any right to have, let alone a bunch of evil, racist loons.

They soon mobilized their armies and launched a war of expansion. Their goal was to impose their militaristic Social Darwinistic ideology across Europe, outlaw any dissenting school of thought, enslave all the "sub-human" Slavs (after starving to death more than half of them in accordance to Generalplan Ost) and exterminate any "undesirables" (Jews, Roma, homosexuals, etc) on which they blamed all their problems because they felt that they were superhumans without any flaws; any problem which they suffered had to be the fault of some subversive "other" from outside who tried to cause the Master Race misery for no other reason than "the Evulz." But due to some tactical fuckups from Hitler and German command, Germany ended up with a three-way war with the British, the Soviets, and the United States, and their major allies like Italy and Japan caved at the ending years of the war. In the end, while Germany had the advantage in technology, it had no hope of repulsing both the Allies and the Soviets at the same time on their own, and thus, the Nazi regime finally met her end when the Soviets marched into Berlin.

Nazi Portrayal

Nazis are portrayed as people who used vile actions towards an idealistic end (To his credit, Hitler did envision for Germany to be the greatest nation ever. Its just that his plan to attain this was the moral equivalent of driving a bus through a busy sidewalk filled with women and children). But (and this is important) rather than just being an alien other, they represented the worst qualities of industrial Western civilization inflated and turned inward against bits of Western civilization. To modern western civilization, the Nazis have the role of the great foe. The great evil that wrought death and misery on Europe which needed to be stopped by all means possible. Their known track record of starting WW2, carving a bloody swath through Europe, and their infamous ethnic genocide and enslavement campaigns against undesirables have painted them as the evil villain the world has ever seen.

Now, this is just the popular opinion that is accepted; you will hear plenty of other viewpoints of the Nazis from other groups. Some will say their portrayal is riddled with the allied propaganda excessively demonizing them. Some will say that while the Nazis did give Europe a good stomping, the other participants were just as, if not more evil than the Nazis and that they're just being used as the poster boy (these people often say the Soviets had a worse track record than the Nazis in terms of people murdered by the state, or the Americans who nuked not one, but two Japanese cities.), and some people on the /pol/ side of the spectrum will say that Germany did the right thing and their enemies was actually the evil ones. All in all, discussions that relate to the portrayal of Nazi Germany are bound to generate heated debates due to numerous factors.

In relation to fantasy, however, varying opinions on the perceived Nazi character allows them to be looked at from varying points of view, developing their character all the more. Take the Imperium of Man, for example. Some will say that the Imperium's a nutcase since they're willing to allow an Inquisitor to turn an entire hive spire into a towering inferno if he so happens to find a single heretic in a spire where millions of people reside in, on the grounds of "Hey, this guy is worshiping chaos. Those people might aswell be worshiping chaos too and this might lead to the entire world rebelling. BURN EVERYONE". Some will say that the Imperium's just being pragmatic and such an action is justifiable as the Imperium is constantly beset by merciless foes who will not think twice to bring them down, as such their method for survival is cruel, but necessary.

Impact on fantasy

Militarily the Germans had, hands down the best army of the time, well disciplined and well trained with experienced mid-level officers, this combined with borderline insane levels of more at the start of the war turned the German into an unholy Juggernaut. The Germans were known to have some of the best armored tanks in the war, their small arms far outstripped the guns Europe had at the time, and were pioneers to many advanced technologies during their time that have become well known today, like jet engines, cruise missile systems, fully automatic rifles, stealth craft, and many others.

This, combined with their infamous cruelty, have spawned the Nazi-esque villain template where the villains are both powerful and gigantic dicks to everyone else, making them completely despicable. This is because if the villain is significantly weaker than the protagonist of the setting, most people will still feel a few grains of sympathy towards the former or make them a laughing stock. But, when you make the villain both an enormous asshole and just as or more powerful than the protagonist, all bets are off and he's fair game,

Examples

In Star Wars, the forces of the Galactic Empire employ some Naziesque uniforms.
In Dr.Who, the Daleks are defined for their fanatical hatred of anything that is not a Dalek.
In Warhammer 40,000, the Imperium of Man will often draw from Nazi Germany either indirectly (hatred, bigotry, willingness to use torture, repression, and terror to their ends) to overt (The Armageddon Steel Legion).
In anime, there is the Principality of Zeon from Mobile Suit Gundam, which also has elements borrowed from the WWII Empire of Japan.
The most extensive take on the theme of Space Nazis would be the Helghast from Killzone, where the people of Helgan see the ISA as Imperialist gits who forced them out of their planet for refusing their rule.
If you have a fantasy/sci-fi world, it will almost certainly have some sort of Nazi analogue floating around. At the same time, Nazis also figure into a lot of alternate history fiction; Nazis invading England, Nazis invading America, Nazis successfully conquering the USSR, Nazis getting the Bomb first, Nazis creating an army of mutant uber-troopers, Nazis on the Moon, Nazis using occult powers to summon demons to aid them, all of these have been done.

Trademarks

TSR had the ™ and © symbols next to the word 'Nazi' where it appeared in their Indiana Jones RPG. This was probably for the sake of the artwork reproduced from the movie, but it's been a source of teasing and flames about TSR trying to claim exclusive ownership of the term 'Nazi.' Same shit happened with Marvel and their WW2 villains, and probably with Fawcett Comics since 'Captain Nazi' was a villain fighting Captain "Shazam" Marvel.

Nazis and /tg/

/tg/ long ago realized something most competent people have: Nazis represent a great liberating force for any GM, for they represent a force that any player need not feel any remorse over resorting to violence against, because Nazis are the textbook template for villains in most settings: they desire world domination, see themselves as the apex species and view most others with utter contempt, wanton disregard for common life, have an industry primarily geared towards war, are the most powerful warmongers than anyone else, and they have that evil yet sublime aesthetic to their armies. Nazis are a modern setting variants of using slavers as your enemy in a fantasy game; they have little to no redeeming values, so they're great enemy fodder.

The association gives the players a motivation and to understand that these people are evil, allowing the GM to focus on other aspects of the story. Indeed, one can get similar results by simply providing details that lead us to conclude that any group you are facing off against are this universe's version of Nazis. That said, that same context makes using Nazis a double-edged sword and a lazy GM (or author, script writer, or whatever; this is hardly unique to roleplaying) can royally screw up if one uses them incorrectly. Used incorrectly, Nazis become a kitten-eating one-dimensional caricature of villains descended into self parody, which can work if the world is built for it. Kitten-eating Nazis work best in "goofy" settings where it's fully possible, and indeed expected for the final boss to be Hitler himself riding a cyborg dinosaur, but in a setting trying to take itself seriously, such flat villains do just that, fall flat and fail to incite the proper emotional reaction. Remember that the key to successful Nazi use is that emotional reaction. That exportation of real world baggage is the point, perhaps the sole point to use Nazis over some other villain. Nazis have the additional problem of not even needing to be exaggerated that much to make the worst of them into something like this. So care must be taken when one plays the Nazi card or it will come off as trite.

Entire stretches of d20 Past are shown various ways to implement, Indiana Jones style, Nazis into any campaign during the early 1900s, and Savage Worlds has an entire supplement devoted to thwarting Nazi super-soldier plans during WWII. More clever GMs can do even more interesting things with it, such as backing up the savagery of the Nazis with a humanizing element to make them more understandable, even if antagonists, whilst another interesting setting, proposed for GURPS, starts the players off as Nazis and has them turn against their former comrades as the movement becomes harder and harder to justify. It's also worth remembering that Nazis can be used for comedy as well; any one here heard of Hogan's Heroes? All of these lead to some pretty great storytelling, just so long as the GM is aware of the real world baggage Nazis will bring to the game and is able to use that to deepen the experience, otherwise he'll have just created orks in fancy uniforms.

...And then you have bullshit like this nonsense, which misses the point entirely and renders us all stupider for the knowledge of its existence.

Nazi Gear

For reasons above, if you decide want to use Nazis as your bad guys at tonight's game (or protagonists if you roll that way. Just don't use RaHoWa as a basis unless you want to end up with a trainwreck of a game.). Here is a brief run down of basic information on Nazi equipment.

Small Arms

Karabiner 98 kurz: the standard German infantry rifle during WWII from the old Mauser family (the Mauser action was used in dozens of countries and is still in wide use today), 7.92x57mm caliber. Fairly cheap, very accurate, and reliable, it had a slow rate of fire, a five-round magazine as opposed to the ten-rounder in a British SMLE rifle, and went up the semi-automatic American M1 Garand. Even so, generally quite well regarded for what it was. It was also the go-to weapon for German snipers, who affixed a scope to it.

Gewehr 43: the German army's semi-automatic rifle. This weapon was developed in response to their invasion of the Soviet Union, where the Germans were shocked to find Soviet troops brandishing semi-automatic rifles (the SVT-40, primarily), drastically out-gunning their troops in firefights. The result was a fairly decent semi-automatic rifle/carbine chambered for the same rounds as the Kar98k. The rifle's magazine was also not built-in in that its detachable (allowing for quick reloads) but still had the option of allowing the shooter to rapidly use stripper-clips when reloading. Much like the Kar98k, it worked well as a marksman/sniper's weapon when affixed with a scope.

Maschinenpistole 40: The most common German submachinegun through the war used mainly by squad leaders and troops fighting in urban areas. It was also the go-to weapon of specialist units like paratroopers and the SS. Uses a 32-round magazine chambered for 9x19mm rounds and typically comes with a folding wire stock. In general pretty good but only a million of them were produced, compared to the millions of SMGs made by the British, Americans and Soviets.

Pistole Parabellum 1908: The Nazis used a bunch of pistols in truth, but none are as iconic of the Third Reich as the P08 Luger with its joint armed breech. It could load an eight-round box magazine or a thirty-two-round drum. The 9x19mm Parabellum cartridge was initially designed for this pistol and is still one of the most common pistol calibers in the world. It was eventually phased out in favor of the P38 as being a standard-issue sidearm due to the Luger being too expensive to manufacture for the entire German army, although the Luger was still available for the troops and officers who could afford it. The Luger was also particularly unique at the time in that it can double as a pistol carbine by affixing a stock and a 32-round drum-magazine to it.

Walther Pistole 38: The Walther P38 replaced the Luger P08 as the Wermacht service pistol just before World War II due to it being cheaper to produce. It loaded a 9x19mm eight-round detachable box magazine. Nerds will recognize this as G1 Megatron's alt-mode.

Mauser Construktion 96: Popularly known as the "Boxcannon" and "Broomhandle"; it loaded ten rounds from a stripper clip into an internal magazine, although there was also an option for a 20-round magazine and had the added bonus of the entire magazine being detachable instead of being built-into the weapon. The C96 typically loaded either 9x19mm or 7.63x25mm rounds. The C96 was not typically issued to the main German army during WW2; only the Luftwaffe were the known users of the weapon during the war as sidearms for their pilots. It can also be turned into a carbine by affixing a stock to the weapon that could double as a holster, although this was not a particularly widespread modification. Nerds will recognize this as Han Solo's DL-44 blaster pistol from the original Star Wars trilogy, with some gubbins glued to it to make it more sci-fi.

Walther Polizeipistole/Polizeipistole Kurz: The gun made popular by James Bond and even more popular by the Gestapo; the Walther PP is a compact pistol typically issued to German police units and military officers. The PPK variant was an even smaller version of the PP, designed for concealed carry in mind (infact it was so small that it can typically fit into the sleeves of most longcoats, making it useful for infiltrators). It was either chambered for 9x19mm or 9x17mm rounds.

Sturmgewehr 44: The "Storm rifle 44" was the first assault rifle. Chambered for the new 7.92x33mm cartridge, it gave a rifleman the power and accuracy of a rifle with the rate of fire of a submachinegun. As its name suggests, it entered the war very late. This combined with the fact that they were expensive to make limited the scale to which they were produced. It also had mechanical issues including fragility of the feed mechanism, which could be jammed if the rifle was knocked over. Even so the troops who got them loved them. One of its attachments was the krummlauf, a curved barrel and periscope for firing around corners. Yes, it worked, but the bullets shattered, causing a shotgun-like spread, and the barrels wore out quickly.

Maschinengewehr 42: German military doctrine during WWII was built around the machine gun and as such, the Germans developed an exceptional machine gun in the MG 42. It was lightweight at 11.7 kg, was belt fed unlike the magazine fed LMGs it usually went against, and it could fire 1,200 rounds per minute while most other machine guns could barely reach 600. That much dakka causes a lot of heat, so the gun was designed for easy swapping of barrels. Its terrifying rate of fire and distinctive report earned it the nickname "Hitler's Buzzsaw." The MG 42 was the basis for numerous other weapons throughout the Cold War.

Panzerfaust: ("Armor fist") A disposable one-shot anti-armor weapon for use against tanks and entrenched positions. Really cheap to produce, easy to use, lightweight, and able to do a lot of damage to tanks at close range (at most within 150 meters). The basic idea of how they were used was you gave one guy in every squad or so one of them so if a tank got close to them there was a chance might be able to take it out or do some damage, which among other things made allied generals wary about sending tanks out to clear out German infantry forces. That said, Panzerfausts were useless for trying to snipe at tanks from a distance (with an effective range of only 150m, this was about the same range most SMGs only could remain accurate for) and could not be reloaded with another rocket, preventing most troops from carrying more than one shot on their person. In the last days of the war the Nazis gave these to grannies and kids on the off chance they could destroy an allied tank or when they rolled into town.

Panzerschreck: ("Armor terror") A reusable anti-tank rocket launcher based off captured American bazookas, and you can almost imgaine the Nazi scientist getting one and saying "Bigga is Betta!." It was larger than the Bazooka with a 88mm muzzle size, while the bzooka was only 60mm. Like the Bazooka, but unlike the panzerfaust, it could be reloaded and had a longer range then the Faust. It has a distinctive steel blast shield in front, this has to do with the larger rocket blowing hot exhaust into the users face and early models without the shield required the operator to wear a gasmask and protective poncho. The Panzershreck was more useful as an offensive weapon used by dedicated tank hunters and were capable of easily penetrating the armor of any tank they faced.

Captured Weapons: Due to necessity and practicality, German troops also commonly used enemy equipment from all sides, predominantly Soviet weapons due to their invasion of Russia. To ease supply concerns, some weapons were converted to use their own ammunition like the PPSh-41 sub-machinegun, which was converted from 7.62x25mm to 9x19mm, while some had ammunition made for them in factories.

Vehicles

Tanks

German tanks were in general well designed, however their true selling point was not the tanks themselves, but instead the crew members manning them and the radios installed in every tank. This along with late war designs gave German tanks an edge over Allied tanks. German tanks are called "panzers", which when directly translated means "armor" and more specifically is the short version of "panzerkampfwagen" (Armored Fighting Vehicle). The name is often shortened to just to "Pz".

Panzer I: Designed and produced in defiance of the Treaty of Versailles, the Panzerkampfwagen I was the first Nazi tank. It was small, weighing only 5.4 tonnes, and was armed only with two MG-13 machine guns. Some 1,493 were made and were most notable in that they allowed tank crews to be trained and (after being sent to Spain) let tank doctrine be developed that allowed the Nazis to take over Poland. They saw some use at the beginning of WWII, but were pretty soon deemed to be out of date even on scouting missions. Until they were deemed totally obsolete, they were continuously upgraded and specialized, and had several variants including a potential recon paratrooper-tank.
Mein herr!Can't ve get somezing better zan zis Panzer I?
Panzer II: The Panzerkampfwagen II was designed with the experience of the Spanish Civil War. Heavier than the Panzer I at 8.9 tonnes, it was designed as a stopgap, as the Panzer III and IV were experiencing delays in production. It was armed with a dinky little 20mm cannon little better than an anti-tank rifle. Common during the early war, it was made obsolete by the arrival of the Panzer III and IV, and relegated to reconnaissance duties, training, or conversion into open-topped tank destroyers. Much like it's younger brother, it too was pushed through several variants, however instead of trying to upgrade it for main-line action, it was turned into a better scout tank so the Panzer III could take over the main-line role.
Panzer III: One of the two main German tanks of the war, the Panzerkampfwagen III was when Germany was really getting the hang of this whole tank design thing. Introduced in 1939, it weighed 23 tonnes, carried a 37mm anti tank gun, and notably had a turret big enough for three guys. The Panzer III was intended to engage enemy tanks. In Poland, France, and North Africa it did well, even though some French vehicles outgunned them. Against Soviet T-34s it was completely insufficient, even when upgraded to a 50mm gun. Thankfully unlike the French and Russians the Panzer III were all armed with radios allowing them to out-maneuver the radioed yet better tanks. Production stopped in 1942, but since they had built 5,774 of them, they stayed in service until the end of the war. The chassis was used to produce the StuG assault gun which would be the most widely produced German vehicle of the war.
Panzer IV: The most common German made tank, with nearly 9,000 units being made, The Panzerkampfwagen IV was the Panzer III's big brother. The Panzer IV was originally intended to be used against infantry and was armed with a low velocity 75mm gun for blowing stuff up. After the invasion of Russia they switched to a 50mm anti tank gun and latter a 75mm cannon. After that upgrade it was in general on par with the T-34 and M4 Sherman in most regards, they had a less powerful engine, but better optics. Unlike Soviet tanks, every Panzer IV had at least a radio receiver. It's chassis became the foundation of many of German vehicles of all classifications.
Tiger: Soon after invading Russia, the generals in charge of the Eastern Front sent requests for a tank that could match the T-34. The Nazi top brass took this as a challenge to create the ultimate tanks, and the result of said project were "the Big Cats". The first of these was the Panzerkampfwagen VI Tiger heavy tank, which entered service in 1942. The nazis had been toying about with the idea of a heavy tank on the backburner before being pushed forward after Barbarosa. Heavy definately described the Tiger: it weighed 54 tonnes, had a 690 hp engine, had up to 120mm of armor, and was armed with a massive 88mm cannon that could take out enemy tanks two kilometers away. Despite this, the Tiger was over-engineered mechanically and somewhat under-designed chassis-wise. It was expensive and labor intensive to build, had reliability issues, and was difficult to support and repair, on top of being slow. The Tiger chassis was essentially a metal box, and the design took no advantage from sloping armor, which made the Tiger heavier and slower than it could have been (for the same armor effectiveness). Only 1,347 Tigers were built, and every last one of them made opposing tank crews want to be nowhere near these death machines. The Tiger is without a doubt the most famous tank of WWII, known even to those illiterates who think only America fought WWII with Germany, and if most video games are to be believed, every Nazi tank was a Tiger. The Tiger and panther tanks, like a used car, came with a owners manual, the Tigerfibel and Heinz Guderian, one of Germanys, (Empire,Republic, Nazi, Western) best tank commanders wanted every tank crew to read the manual. But, it was known even then just how many guys actually read the instruction manual for anything. So, it was written as an fun book to read with humor, naked girls, poetry and naked girls along side the information about how to use the most dangerous heavy tanks to be used in world war 2.
Panther: The Panther was introduced in 1943 and is often argued, along with the T34, to be the the best tank of the war. It copied many features of the T-34 and improved on them. It was listed as a "medium tank," despite weighing in at 44.8 tonnes. Its 75mm/L70 gun was one of the most powerful tank guns of the war and could destroy any Allied tank. Its frontal armor was more effective than that of the Tiger's. A swift and hard as nails death machine, when it was in working order. The Panther was rushed into service and had even more mechanical problems than the Tiger did due to its rushed design. The Panther was only about 20% more expensive to produce than the Panzer IV and the Germans managed to produce 6,000 of them, though switching over did cost them in terms of other production due to retooling. Along with the Tigers, this was enough to get the Americans and British to make the Sherman Firefly and the Soviets to make up-armored and up-gunned T-34-85s. Along with the aforementioned US and Soviet tanks, the Panther eventually became the inspiration for the post-war main battle tank concept. An upgraded Panther II was planned, but never entered production.
Zis vill do nicely! Danke!....gott in himmel, zat's a lot of Shermans!
Tiger II: The Tiger II, or King Tiger, was the ultimate German Tank introduced in 1944 as a successor to the Tiger. It weighed 68.5 tonnes (more than most modern tanks) and had 180mm frontal armor, which was even sloped (a huge step forward from the boxy Tiger 1)! Even so, only 492 of them rolled off the assembly line before the war ended. These tanks were considered to be just as temperamental as the Tiger I, but for different reasons. The designers learned how to fix some of the problems with the Tiger I, and promptly over-built the Tiger II even more after patching the holes, because they thought they had wiggle room or something.
Anything they could steal: From French B1 heavy tanks to Soviet T-34's to American Shermans, the Nazi used every thing they could get their hands on like Orks in clean uniforms. This became so chronic that the British had a strong rule in place that said any tank which could not be repaired or salvaged was to be destroyed, so the Germans wouldn't pinch it.
- Panzer 38T: the most famous tank the Nazi stole was the PZ 38T. A light tank, the 38t was a Czech design Germany acquired when they took over the Sudetenland and then the rest of Czechoslovakia. The design was rendered obsolete by 1942 and the chassis was instead used to produce Marder 2 and Hetzer tank destroyers. A version of the 38(t), called the Stridsvagn m/41, was also used by Sweden.

Tank Destroyers/Assault Guns

Between the First and Second World Wars, various nations were still messing around with what was a good design for armored vehicles. This is the same time that gave us the British infantry and cavalry tank concept. In response to the super heavy British infantry tanks of the time, the Germans were quick to invent and use an armored doctrine they called panzerjäger (armor hunter). The concept was to stick a huge gun, too big to put in a proper turret with current technology, onto a vehicle with fixed casement and open top to move the heavy gun around easily. Think like the Basilisk, only built for direct fire. Later in the war, Germany discarded the lighter Panzerjäger tank destroyers and instead designed big heavy tank destroyers, with thick armor and guns big enough to make an ork blush with envy, called "Jagdpanzers" (hunting armors). Panzerjägers of both types had the advantage of being cheaper and simpler to make than turreted tanks and having lower silhouettes, allowing easier ambushes, plus it was easy to convert an otherwise out of date, under-gunned tank into a destroyer. The disadvantage was, of course, they had no turrets, so they could be outflanked and had no way to point their guns at any targets that did not drive in front of them.

Panzerjäger I
Marders: The Marder 1, 2, and 3 were all very similar tank destroyers, hence why they share a listing. The Marder 1 is based on the chassis of the French Lorraine 37L tractor, the Marder 2 is based off the Panzer II chassis, and the Marder III is based of off the Panzer 38(t) (the "T" means it was Czech in origin, not that it weighed 38 tons). All three were open topped and armed with either 7.5 cm cannons or converted Russian 76 mm cannons they stole early in their invasion of Russia. At the start of Operation Barbarossa, German tanks were again, under-gunned and -armed compared to their enemy's, especially when compared to the T-34, which one German field marshal quipped was the best tank in the world. But like the battle for France, the Germans had more radios and were able to make massive advances anyway. Still, a better anti-tank weapon was needed, so the Marders were created and were armed with 7.5 cm weapons, but there were never enough of them so they used Russian guns.
Hetzer
Nashorn
StuG III & IV: by far the most widely produce German vehicle of the second world war, the Stug was easily one of the most versatile combat platforms fielded in the war. StuG's, or "Sturmgeschütz" or "assault artillery", were built to combat a problem German learned from the first world war: that Infantry lacked the ability to take on fortifcations, and the Artilery was too slow to keep up to allow direct fire on these targets. The StuG was the solution: by mounting a 7.5 cm howitzer in a fixed casement on a Panzer III chassis, they allowed the vehicle to roll up with the infantry and blow fortifications in the way to rubble. Of course during the invasion of the Sovet Union the Germans ran into tanks much better then there existing vehicles, namely KV-1s and T-34. In order to quickly counter these threats, the StuG was "up-gunned" (quotes marks are there because the guns caliber did not change), to mount a High Velocity 7.5 cm anti tank gun. In 1943 the StuG chassis was switched from a Panzer III's to a Panzer IV's, otherwise no changes were made. StuG's, despite looking like and being compared to tanks, were not considered tanks and were crewed by artillery men. StuG's are estimated to have destroyed 20,000 enemy tanks in the coarse of the war, impressive when you consider that just over 10,000 were made, and not all of those were armed with actual anti tank weapons. After the war the Soviets gave a number of captured tanks to Syria where they were used up to 1960s.
Sturmpanzer: Known commonly as the Brummbär (Grouch), this infantry support gun was based on the Panzer IV chassis. It mounted a 15cm mortar-sized direct-fire cannon, which fired a combined shell-charge weight of over 100lbs, designed to make infantry and buildings explode. It was given this name for two reasons: the tank broke down all the time (way more than any Panzer IV), and the shells were arduous to load.
Ferdinand/Elefant: To put the Ferdinand into perspective, this is a tank that the Hitler though was too complex, too unreliable and too theoretically advance to use. The Ferdinand is the result of a contest between two of Nazi Germany top company's, Porshe and Henschel (both of which still exist to day) to produce a heavy tank that could use the 8.8 cm gun. Porshe won the contest and there design became the Tiger tank, but Henschel ended up making 90 of there designs hulls. It was decided to turn them into tank destroyers, and so they bolted even more armor on to them and added a fixed super structure for the gun and thus the Ferdinand was born. The Ferdinand was a troubled vehicle, rather then one engine it had two and thanks to poor ventilation they often overheated and bizarrely, they did not even connected to the drive train and instead were connected to a set of electric generators. That's right, in 1942 the Nazi's made a 65 ton Gas-electric hybrid power tank destroyer, good for the environment maybe, but maintenance for the thing was a nightmare worse then the Tiger. And before we forget, it did not have a machine gun, it could destroy any tank on the eastern front, but five guys with Molotov cocktails could take it out. So in 1943 48 of 50 remaining tanks were converted to have a machine gun, more armor, anti magnetic paste and a commander's cupola. The modified tanks were the Elefants. Over all, more Ferdinands were destroyed by there own crews after they broke down and could not be towed back to a repair base then were lost to enemy fire.
Jagdpanzer IV
Jagdpanther
Jagdtiger
Sturmtiger: An assault gun that could almost belong in the "wunderwaffe" section. It was designed to replace the Brummbär as an infantry support vehicle to demolish fortifications and buildings and based off of the Tiger 1 chassis. Instead of being armed with a 210mm howitzer as planned, the Wehrmacht mounted a 380mm rocket launcher adapted from a Kreigsmarine depth-charge launcher, because the mortar was unavailable at the time. The Sturmtiger suffered the same problems as the Tiger itself, with an overbuilt engine and drivetrain, but on top of that, the rocket was so powerful that in order to not break the barrel of the gun or kill the crew, the exhaust gasses from launching the depth-charge rocket were vented out of a number of tubes that went back up the barrel. It also looks like a Vindicator, probably not a coincidence.

Airplanes

Messerschmitt Bf 109: This plane is credited with more kills than any other fighter in the history of man due to the tens of thousands of communists it has sent to hell in burning metal coffins. It is also the most produced fighter of all time. The variants of the 109 and the Spitfire competed with each other throughout the war for the title of "World's Best Fighter" as they were both continually upgraded. The 109 was small, very fast, a good turner, a god tier climber, and was inexpensive to produce and maintain. The 109's speed and climb rate made it a top tier energy fighter.

Focke-Wulf Fw 190: When first introduced, the Fw 190 was hands-down the best fighter on the planet, due mostly to its very powerful radial engine. The 190A-3 was rocking 1,700 horsepower at a time when the Spitfire V had 1,450. As the war dragged on, BMW failed miserably to improve the engine and the 190 dropped in effectiveness until it was given a completely new engine in the Dora variant. The 190 was horrifically fast at low altitude, had extremely powerful armament, outstanding high speed handling, and had the best roll rate of any plane in the war. However, it was a very poor turner. This set of attributes made the 190 one of the best "boom and zoom" fighters.

One of Germany's attempts at packing enough dakka in explosive form

Heinkel He 111: The main German bomber from beginning to end, it was developed in the 1930s; the Nazis called it a high speed passenger jet to get around the Treaty of Versailles. It was first put to its real use in the Spanish Civil War. The He 111 was a twin engine medium bomber, cheap to make and maintain and able to carry up to 3,600 kilos of bombs. Early on it performed very well and was one of the most effective bombers in the world but after 1941 the British and Americans began building larger and longer ranged four engine bombers like the Lancaster and the Flying Fortress in large quantities. The german engineers had a plan to counter these with an enhanced version of the HE 111 called the HE 111-Z that consisted of two 111 fusillages fused together on a central wing (which is just as retartedly awesome and awesomely retarded as it sounds) therefore gathering twice the bombs and weaponry of a regular bomber while being powered by 5 engines. They did manage to make it fly but it remained a prototype.
Messerschmitt ME-262: The Me 262 was the world's first operational jet fighter and possibly the most advanced aircraft of all in WWII. It was very fast, able to achieve a speed of 900km/h (in comparison, a P51 Mustang had a top speed of about 700km/h) and carried four 30mm cannons. Quality suffered due to a lack of high quality steel, which severely limited the shelf life of their engines to twelve hours. Even so, it was an effective against bombers. Much like every other advanced Nazi weapon, it arrived too late (in part due to delays involving the Nazi top brass) and in too few numbers to influence the course of the war, though it spurred development of jet aircraft on both sides of the Iron Curtain postwar. The Japanese built a rather similar jet fighter in the Nakajima Kikka, but that never got beyond prototype.

He-162: With a max speed of 900 kph, 2 centerline 20mm cannons, and a 39 lbs/ft^2 wingloading, the He-162 was almost invincible.. while the 262 was an interceptor, the He-162 was designed for air superiority.

Ships

AS a general rule, Hitler dumped most of money into the Heer (army) and Luftwaffe (air force), leaving the Kreigsmarine (navy) out in the cold, so to speak, so they were not overly fond of him. Hitler once joked that he had "a conservative army, a Nazi air force, and a communist navy."

U-Boote: U-Boot, which are shortened version of the word "Unterseeboot" or "underwater boat, are submarines. They were used in devastating effect to cut off Britain from supplies from the outside world by having "wolfpacks" of U-boats patrol around shipping lanes and sink down any enemy ship they found. Their other uses involve seeking and destroying enemy battleships. They were so terrifying to Winston Churchill that he spent most of his naval planning working out ways to subvert or destroy the U-boat wolfpacks. Admiral Karl Dönitz, unlike Hitler, loved the U-boats, and built one of the largest structures on earth (at the time) to house them: the German U-boat pens in captured France. U-boats were invented in the first world war, and there unrestricted campaign of sinking any ship, even those with US citizens on them (even after the German government made a very public warning to the US that boarding a ship to England was a very bad idea), that approached England led to the neutral though leaning allied American to join the first world war and for them to be the last straw on the German back to end it.
Bismarck and Tirpitz: A pair of battleships so large and well designed no other battleships could sink them. Sinking the Bismark required an entire Royal navy fleet, six battleships and battlecruisers and two aircraft carriers, along with a number of cruisers and destroyers in a running battle over several days. And the Bismark was alone. Tirpitz was similarly indestructible. The RAF spent most of a year bombing the Tirpitz with everything in their arsenal, including the British Tallboy earthquake bombs. 5,400kg, fortification-destroying earthquake bombs could not destroy the Tirptiz despite scoring direct hits until a final bombing raid by 32 heavy Lancaster Bombers that managed to score a hit on one of the ammunition magazines.

Wunderwaffen

These are the "super weapons" that Hitler, in his desperation with the British American juggernaut on one side and the tidal wave of the Soviet Union on the other, authorized to be produced and made. These are things like the V-2 or jet planes.

As you can imagine with two hands strangling Germany, one smelling of vodka and the other apple pie, these weapons were made with a shortage of resources and time, however these were next generation prototypes, which most of the scientists of other nations had been toying with but had yet reached prototype much less combat stage with because they were, unlike the Germans never that desperate enough to use untested machinery with teething issues in battle. Take the infamous Tiger 1 and 2 tanks, for example: both are sometimes considered the best tanks of world war two, but both were over built and overly complex compared the T-34 or Sherman tank, which, while inferior, were made in greater numbers due to being simpler. While we're talking about the Tiger, it's important to also note that the Tiger was also the most primitive tank of the war, since unlike the T-34, which had revolutionary sloped armor, it was just a metal box with big gun on it.

This why Nazi "Wonder weapons" caught the imagination of the world because they were on the bleeding edge of technology and while in the real world they were rather dismissively called "voo-vah" by Allied troops. This is the place any of the "Nazi Super science" stuff goes. You want lighting guns? Wunderwaffen. Super tanks? Wunderwaffen. Moon rockets? Wunderwaffen. Hitler in a giant robot spider powered by the souls of the damned? Wunderwaffen.

V1 flying bomb: The V1 is considered as an early version of the cruise missile and was used in the bombing of England, since a city was pretty much all they COULD accurately hit. The V1's used an early version of a Pulse jet and they were quickly called "buzz bombs," "doodlebugs," or "farting furies" to discourage people from calling them "robot bombs," which gives the impression that they were unstoppable. Fun fact about the V1: it uses the same fuel as a type of beetle uses to defend itself.
V2 rocket: The V2 was the world's first ballistic missile. The scientists that developed it, including Werner von Braun, went on to work for NASA and developed the booster rockets on the Saturn V launch vehicle (Nazi science really did put a man on the moon).
Horton 229 and Horton 18: While technically Nazi aircraft, they really deserves to be here, not up in Aircraft. Commonly known as the "Nazi stealth fighter," this twin-turbojet flying-wing fighter was found in a secret workshop hangar by invading American forces. Nobody knows for certain if the Horton 262 was originally built for stealth, but it's all-wood construction and smooth radar-fouling shape, coupled with radar-absorbing paint on the outer shell makes a fairly clear case for a stealth aircraft. The concept that the 229 was build around was the "3x1000": 1000kph, 1000km range, 1000kg bomb payload. This, in 1943. During test flights, it outperformed the Me. 262 while using exactly the same engines. It was probably going to be used to fly through or knock out the British radar array in a second, never-realized "Battle of Britain 2: Electromagnetic Boogaloo. The Horton 18 was an even bigger flying wing, with a huge wingspan and 6 jet engines. This one was designed to be an intercontinental bomber, intending to hit American cities as the western front made Hitler angrier and angrier. The Horton 18 was never built, but the 229 was rather successfully test flown. Both planes looks quite a bit like the modern B2 stealth bomber, which isn't much of a surprise considering the Americans hauled the Horton 229 prototype back home to be studied in a secret airforce base (where it is today).

Maus and Ratte: The Panzerkampfwagen VIII Maus ("mouse") is the largest tank ever built. A 200 metric ton monster with a 128mm (5 inch) main gun, and a 75mm co-axial gun in the turret, it crept along at a blistering 13 kph and sucked down liters of gas per kilometer. Amazingly, they actually built this tank. Five were ordered, but only two prototypes and one turret were built. It was originally going to be called the Mauschen (Little Mouse), but because the Germans liked schadenfreude more than irony, just Maus stuck. Realistically, neither front's tanks would have had the firepower to penetrate the Maus, only extreme-caliber anti-tank guns and artillery fire would have done the job, however it was so big that there was no road or bridge big enough to take it so it had to have special snorkling gear to get past river. While neither side had a Anti tank weapon strong enough to penetrate it's armor, it's more then likely it would never get there even if it was built. It's not quite a Baneblade, but they were getting there. The Landkreuzer P. 1000 Ratte ("rat") was an even larger tank, or "land cruiser", since it was essentially a naval warship on tracks. Never actually built, despite being ordered by Hitler (Albert Speer realised it was insane, even by Nazi standards, and canned the project), the Rat was to be a 1000 metric ton tank, mounting two 280mm naval guns, a 128mm anti tank gun, eight 20mm FlaK cannons, and two 15mm aircraft cannons. The Nazi's really didn't want anyone to get this monster, so they blew up the complete first model. The second Maus, armed with the first one's turret, was towed back to Russia by invading forces, and currently resides in the Kubinka Tank museum for all to see.
Karl-Gerät" The Karl-Gerät is one of the very few real world weapon ever built that is BIGGER then its 40k equivalent. Karl weighs 124 tons, is armed with a 60cm (24 inch) gun that fires a shell that weights more than a ton, that can hit a target between four and ten kilometers away depending on the size of its shell. This thing was the largest self-propelled gun ever made and it could give even a (admittedly small) Titan pause for thought. These things were actually used in combat to decent effect in Warsaw, but had mixed results in other deployments. It was so big and slow that it had to be disassembled and put on special tractor trailers to move around, and was moved any real distance by train.

If there was a fine line between Dakka, massive overcompensation, and "Holy shit, Greg! Is that a fucking landship on rails!?", then the Gustav sure hits the spot.

Schwerer Gustav: An excellent example of the brilliance and impracticality of Wunderwaffen, Schwerer Gustav was a railway gun that resembled a cruiser fucking a freight train and an artillery piece, built in the late 30's to defeat the Maginot Line. Two were built, the other called "Dora." It is a descendent of the German Empire's 1918 "Paris gun," a smaller gun ("only" 238mm's) built in World War One to shell Paris from Germany, 120 kilometers away (a range so far they had to account for the curvature of the Earth when firing the damn thing). Gustav was designed to defeat any fortifications in existence; as such, it was the largest-calibre rifled weapon ever used in combat, the heaviest mobile artillery piece ever built in terms of overall weight, and fired the heaviest shells of any artillery piece. It fired 80cm (31 inch) shells, weighing 4,800kg to 7,100kg up to 48km. The AP shells could penetrate 7m of reinforced concrete. It completely succeeded in its job of defeating any existing fortification, but at the same time was completely impractical: it required two specially-laid parallel railway tracks to move (yes, it was a railway gun too big for the railway), took 54 hours to set up for firing, and had a rate of fire of 14 rounds per day. Since building a gun that fired shells that wouldn't fit through the front door to your house wasn't excessive enough for the Nazis, plans were made to mount the Schwerer Gustav 80cm gun on a 1,500t self propelled artillery platform (the Landkreuzer P.1500 Monster) with two 15cm howitzers and multiple 15mm autocannons as secondary weapons. Unfortunately, both guns were scrapped near the end of the war. The Schwerer Gustav was a titan gun before there were titans.
V3: If you thought Gustav up there was nutty wait to you here about the V3, a gun that's as big as a 40k titan. The V3 was an attempt to make a gun that could shoot across the English channel, and there were a number of sane guns that could do this including railway guns and big bunkers built with battleship battery's. but they could only shoot between the narrowest point between England and continental Europe. The V3 was built to shell London from France. I said early it was a s big as a titan, and I was not being sarcastic, (though it would only be as big as a knight, which despite being the smallest titan is still bloody big) from breach to muzzle the gun was 130 meters or 430 feet long with a bore of 150mm or 5.9 inches across. Rather then use a single big explosion to propel the shells, the V3 used rocket motors mounted in pairs, set so there exhaust would thrust a 140kg shell out of the barrel like a reverse bolter. This set up allowed it to fire a shell out to 165km and put London well in range. Of course like all of the Nazi Wunderwaffen, in practice it sounded good but was actually kinda shit. the gun was so big, remember 130meters that it had to be built in a hill meaning it was impossible for it to change target after being built, and after all the time you spent building the damn thing, by the time you were done it might no longer be useful to have, such as what happened during the Nazi Operation Nordwind. Further even if you ignore the logistical issues compared to other period artillery the VS was just plain shit. The 16"/50 caliber Mark 7 guns of the USS Iowa class battleship, had a caliber of 16 inch or 406mm, and fired a shell that weighed 1,225 kg, so over twice as big around and almost exactly nine times as heavy, and the Iowa had nine of them, and it could move. and to put the cherry on the HMS sound plan, by the time the first five guns were finally built to shell London, the British airforce destroyed them with Tallboy Earthquake bombs. If anything proves how silly the idea of Nazi super silence is, let the fate of the V3 super gun stand testament to how many times Hitler's scientists, and Hitler himself, had been hit with the stupid stick growing up.

Misc

The Distinctive Stahlhelm. The Germans lucked out helmet design during WWI

Stahlhelm: The many variants of the iconic German helmet were derived from the medieval sallet during the Great War. The purpose of these helmets was to keep shrapnel out of one's head. It was better than it's contemporaries by better protecting the sides and back of the head as well. Not to be confused with the spiked Prussian Pickelhaube.

Stielhandgranate: Often called "stick grenades" or "potato mashers," these are those grenades on sticks you see the Germans always using. The stielhandgranate is what is called a "offensive" grenade known now as a "concussive" grenade. The difference is an offensive grenade uses explosive pressure waves to kill an enemy, thus allowing you to use it while advancing without getting a face full of shrapnel, while a defensive grenade (like the US "pineapple" grenade) uses shrapnel to kill an enemy, affecting a much larger area but also putting you in the blast radius, hence they were designed to be thrown over the wall of a fox hole or trench line at advancing enemy troops while you keep your head down. The reason the stielhandgranate has the stick is to give you more leverage when throwing it as compared to a round grenade.

Nebelwerfer: A family of weapons whose very name means "Smoke Mortar" and they were listed as smoke screen launchers before the war (to get around the Treaty of Versailles), but in truth were rather deadly artillery designed to deploy chemical munitions, though in the extent of the war they never did, probably because Hitler had survived gas attacks in the last war and drew the line at using them himself and the fact that using chemical weapons would invite retaliation. These types of weapons includes some mortars, but more importantly includes rocket artillery. In Germany between the wars, there was a fair bit of interest in new rocket designs and the Nazis knew they had use for that. These rockets were inaccurate, but you could easily fire a whole bunch of the things off at once, though thanks to the smoke, you had to scoot away or the other side would drop their own artillery on top of you. The rocket based system made a very distinctive sound and US troops would come to call them "Screaming Mimi" and "Moaning Minnie."

Goliath: A remote controlled vehicle on treads, stuffed full of explosives. They were driven up to an enemy tank or a bunker and then would blow up. Games Workshop stole the idea and design for the Imperial Guard Cyclops.

Flammenwerfer: A werfer zat werfs flammen. Your standard flamethrower in both name and function, though there wasn't much use for it - There were no real line wars like in WW1 where people sat in ~~comfy~~ little (hell) holes and took potshots at each other. not to say they weren't used. but unlike the trench wars of WW1 most of the fighting was mobile rather than static.
8.8cm flak gun: this is THE German gun of world war two, and it sums up the German experience in the first part of the war, of never being truly ready but by being very clever and doctrinally flexible. The 88mm was designed as an anti air weapon built to throw a high explosive shell as high into the air as it could so that it could explode somewhere in the same ballpark as the enemy plane and put one piece of shrapnel into something important, which is a role it preformed throughout the war. However against the heavy allied tanks such as the British Matilda 1 and French B1, the German tanks of the time had no ability to penetrate there frontal armor, however the 8.8 cm flak weapons, thanks to there high muzzle speed required to fire the explosive shell so high into the air, were able to deal with enemy tanks at unparalleled ranges (the US did the same thing with it's 90mm AA gun converting it into a anti tank weapon for the M36 tank destroyer, and the Pershing tank). Germany quickly pushed to have a tank armed with the 88 as it became clear that against the soviet union, tanks were only going to get stronger, which is why the Tiger is a metal slab with a gun, it's job was to get an 88mm gun into the battle field as fast as possible. The Imperial Guard Basilisk cannon looks almost exactly like the Flak 88.

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Historical

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