Necron
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Necrons, also known by some as Noobcrons, are the Tomb King expys of the 40,000 universe. Which rounds off the rest of the 40K universe being Fantasy races.... IIIIIN SPAAAAAAACE. They also worship (theoretical) vampires who like sucking the (tasty, gooey) living shit out of a star. Which is bizarre, but Games Workshop frequently does shit like that.
Some have considered the Noobcrons to have been unduly OP during their introduction (i.e., those stupid enough not to take as many AP 3, 2 and 1 weapons as possible to ignore WBB. If this is you, slap yourself). A respectable amount of evidence can be gathered to grant credence to either points of view. All agree however that the old fluff they had was absolute shit worthy of Matt Ward and the this new update has at least fixed that. As of now, only the pictures are definitive, but most people seem to like the new crons. (Though probably only by comparison)
Anybody who thought Necrons were an overpowered race probably failed probability in high school. HURR DURR, BITTER NECRON FANBOY. And thus, the cycle of Neckbeard rage begins anew.
They are still totally fucking overpowered in Battlefleet Gothic though; their cruisers can crush many other race's battleships without much trouble. But no one plays Battlefleet Gothic, so who gives a shit?
The Necrons received a long awaited codex update in 2011... from the hated Matt Ward. After making the Necrons and Blood Angels secret lovers that the universe was not yet ready to understand make the sound tactical decision to cooperate and defeat a Tyranid invasion cooperate against the 'nids and the noobcrons then proceeding to let the fucking SPEHSS MEHREENS get away without raep, it is an understandable fear that the Great Taint may spread to the robots, who have already suffered from GW's neglect.
The codex was actually...pretty good, with bitch-worthy fluff kept to a minimum and the crunch being balanced. This had lead to the crazy but surprisingly plausible theory that Matt Ward was really a Necron fanboy all along, and after losing to an Ultramarines player, decided to discredit the Space marines by writing several exceedingly shitty codexes for them, and then turn around and make a respectable update for the Necrons as part of a labyrinthian plot to get back at the Space Marines.
Birth of the Angry Goth Terminators
A long-ass time ago (even before the Spess Elves) the Necrontyr lived on a planet blasted by radiation from their sun. Their short lives were punctuated from beginning to end with cancers, AIDS, and pain.
At the same time, a race of psychically-attuned forefathers called the Old Ones had built a vast civilization throughout the galaxy. They seeded many races (leaving humanity alone) and generally showed off. Oh yeah, and they are speculated to be immortal lizards.
The Necrontyr finally located and loosed a force known as the C'tan, beings with immense power over the corporeal world. The realm of the Warp, which the Old Ones used extensively, was anathema to them, and they sought nothing less than the total separation of the real world from the Maelstrom.
The Necrontyr bargained with the Deceiver - yes, suspend your disbelief for a moment that anyone would trust a guy named the Deceiver - for eternal life. The Deceiver promised the living Necron race immortality and fun times if they'd sacrifice their bodies to the gods to be replaced with metallic-y goodness The Deceiver agreed and then ripped their souls out of their collective urethrae, replacing the Necrontyr with the skeletal metal bodies of the Necrons.
War breaks out between the Necron and the Old Ones. The Old Ones get their asses soundly beat over and over again, creating new races (lol, Krork) to defend themselves with. Oh, and by using the Warp as a weapon, they turned it into the fun place we all know and love.
After the Old Ones strategy of cranking out race after race to be used backfired when the Enslaver Plague rolled around, the C'Tan go on a feast of galactic proportions. It isn't until they realize that the food (see: EVERYTHING!) is drying out that they decide to go to sleep for 60 million years, 'till the scrumptious morsels known as EVERYTHING regrew.
In present time, the Necron spend most of their time killing anything with a pulse and generally hating anything living, including bacteria. The rest of their time is spent on sleeping and being Super Secret Pony Princess Unicorn Best Friends Forever with Blood Angels. Because that makes sense. (We don't like it any more than you do - 'Crons) They're the goth craze if you dipped them in liquid hate and injected them with 400% of your daily allotment of cheese.
Moral of the story: No army is safe from Matt Ward.
THE WHOLE FUCKING STORY GOT RETCONNED THANKS TO ULTRAFAGGOT FANBOI MATT WARD.
- ahem*
Now necrons are a bunch of Tomb Kings IN SPACE who DESTROYED the C'tans and ride in boats shaped like the Ultramarine Chapter's Emblem... I WISH I made that up...
If you look Below you can see Matt Ward has already infiltrated 1d4Chan.
Sore butts. Everywhere.
to me they look like the profile of a monolith..
I for one welcome our new Necron Overlords
The Necron backstory remains largely the same, except now the Necrons were not enslaved, but merely ripped off by the C'tan. Their leader the Silent King was horrified with this, and so fought and enslaved the C'Tan when they had their backs turned. This allowed (most) of the Necrons to be freed from control, restoring some of their personality. They went into stasis now to let the galaxy recover from the war, and now that they have awoken divided and confused, it's a free for all for who can conquer the galaxy in the name of all things robotic. Well, all things zombie robotic but you get the idea...
If you look above you can see Matt Ward has already infiltrated 1d4Chan. As for the new codex, only time will tell, but if the Necrons can survive a 362 trillion year slumber, surely they can survive bloody ass rape from Matt "look what I did mom!" Ward.
Gameplay
Pre-5th edition, the Necrons were virtually, an unstoppable Shooty army. Their simple tactic of move-shoot-move-shoot in-tandem with their gauss weaponry capable of vaporizing anything (including heavy tanks) infront of them with impunity, and their Marine-like stats spawned the all famous "March of Doom", which was basically a non-stop forward march of Necron Warriors, Immortals, and Destroyers to flatten the table. And the innate WBB rolls ensured that the march was fuckhard to stop, especially in tandem with resurrection orbs, pylons, monoliths, and some of the cheesier necron formations; since the guys your had a very good chance of getting back into the game after getting killed. But that was then
The Necron have been severely nerfed in 5th Edition, due to vehicles being a bit more sturdy. In the previous edition, they could potentially destroy any enemy (including heavy vehicles) with just their default troops choice - Gauss weaponry caused (and still does) automatic wounds/glancing hits on a roll of 6. Necron Warriors dispatching Land Raiders or Leman Russ Tanks with these glancing hits was not unheard of, causing many veterans of 40K tabletop to rightly declare the Necrons to be Cheese.
Post-edition update, due to the new Armor Penetration rules, Necron Warriors can still harass, stun-lock, and annoy vehicles - even heavy ones - but are much less able to gun down a heavy like a Predator Tank or Vindicator with simple massed Warrior fire, to the delight of non-Necron players everywhere. Massed fire from Necron Warriors can still kill a heavy vehicle, but it will take a veritable barrage of shots to do now, making it a bit less likely that players can spam the shit out of warrior squads and come away triumphant, making this an improvement. A smart Necron player learns to not over-rely on Warriors now, using backup from Tomb Spyders, the Necron Lord, Pariahs, and Destroyers in order to pack quality antivehicle options.
In spite of the nerf, Necrons remain a competent and extremely dangerous force to an infantry-based army (especially the Tyranids who are easily fucked over by auto-wounds). A competently-run Necron army will be able to threaten heavy vehicles as well; one that continues to over-rely on Necron Warriors will find itself getting raped if a Leman Russ, Manticore Rocket Launcher, Deathstrike Missile Launcher, or Vindicator hits the table. Stat-wise, Necrons are rather similar to Space and Chaos Marines, though they essentially have a 4+ Invulnerable Save in their We'll Be Back! rule. They have only one troop type, one vehicle, and are heavily-focused on shooting (though they have some tough melee options like Flayed Ones and infuriatingly tough-to-kill Wraiths). They also have a useful Monstrous Creature of sorts in the Tomb Spyder.
The infamous Monolith is easily the most recognizable unit that the Necrons possess, being their only actual vehicle. It has 14 armor on each side (and thus no vulnerable spots), a main weapon that cannot be disabled with a "weapon destroyed" result, the ability to teleport your troops out of harm's way, and, in the previous edition, the only skimmer that would not crash when immobilized. In the current edition, skimmers only crash if they moved flat-out the previous turn - and the Monolith can't actually move fast enough to crash when it gets immobilized. However, the same update to glancing hits made it even harder to destroy.
Necron infantry are generally slow moving, hard hitting, much like the space marines, if the space marines were able to never die. They back this with annoying deep-strikers and fast-moving infantry that are designed to support the Necron player's advance. There is nothing - I repeat - NOTHING, scarier than a Necron player with almost-cheating luck.
A Ex. Player one has just destroyed player two's Necron warrior squad.
Player two, A.K.A. Kenny, makes his Reanimation Protocol roll.
Player one, A.K.A. Commander Numb-Nutz, is making odd sounds with his mouth, in mockery of Kenny.
Kenny, A.K.A. Rob, rolls ten 6's. Commander Numb-Nutz promptly stops making noises with his mouth.
Kenny A.K.A. Rob puts his Necron Squad back on the board, and promptly smokes Commander Numb-Nutz's ass from here to the golden Shithouse.
Victories n' Whatnot
Necrons, though vicious in combat, aren't really great at winning. If their army is reduced to 25% they disappear NOT ANYMORE LOL. This forces players to steer away from using otherwise handy units such as Pariahs and Scarabs, lest they risk getting phased out within one or two turns. The Necrons are thus a hit-or-miss force, either outright flattening the opponent or getting steamrolled themselves.
If you want to win with Necrons, be prepared to use Warriors by the dozens, and be prepared to back them up with support like Destroyers and Spyders, lube, doughnuts and crack cocaine.
Alternately, one can play Apocalypse and use the Monolith Phalanx, which is one of - if not THE - cheesiest bullshit since 2nd edition Tyranid strategy dice rolls and the Tyranid attack mission card, it's on par with the equally bullshit Tyranid Apocalypse formation "out of ammo sarge!" which prevents any squad from attacking (even if it's melee or the ranged weapon doesn't even fucking use ammo) if they rolled more than six 6's but as that formation has been errata'd the Cronz now hold the uncontested title of cheesiest formation ever.
Fuck you GW, fuck you with a Gauss blaster
This article or section involves Matthew Ward, Spiritual Liege, who is universally-reviled on /tg/. Because this article or section covers Ward's copious amounts of derp and rage, fans of the 40K series are advised that if they proceed onward, they will see fluff and crunch violation of a level rarely seen. |
In the infinite wisdom of Games Workshop, there are strong indications that Matt Fucking Ward is going to be the writer of the Necrons' new Codex. FUCK IT! HE DID IT ALREADY! WE ARE FUCKING DOOMED!!! MATT MOTHERFUCKING WARD WROTE THE FUCKING CODEX!!! GO SEE FOR YOURSELF!!!! FUCK!
Since Matt Ward is pretty much the avatar of immeasurable failure in the WH40K community and has been 4 for 4 (and one mini codex update) in writing completely broken, fluff-retarded updates, /tg/ isn't going to be surprised that the Necrons' fluff and crunch will be horridly raped and blown out of proportions unseen since the Grey Knights' update. Past experience tells us that they will either:
A. be nerfed through the nine hells all the way down to the bottom of the fucking warp and given horribly lame fluff that makes them look weak.
B. Be buffed to ungodly levels (see: Invulnerable Monoliths) and be given fluff that makes Cruddance's Tyranid fluff look absolutely fucking reserved in it's praise of it's given faction Cruddace depicted the Tyranids losing every battle in their codex. He praised the Tau more than he praised the Tyranids - the Tau out-adapted the Tyranids in the fucking Tyranid's own codex! If Matt Ward doesn't make the Necrons lose every battle, he'll make Cruddace's fluff look reserved in praises.
Hold your breath, gentlemen - things will get ugly. No matter what happens, there will be skub and enough rage to go around.
All in all, though, it could be worse. Remember what Cruddace did to the 'Nids? Cruddace is fucking Hemmingway compared to this bastard. At least he actually tried to write something decent rather than just jerk off to his own fanboy porn. Because after all, Nids and Sisters are utter masterpieces, and we all want another Codex to go down in flames thanks to him.
Incidentally, though, a 40K novel called Fall of Damnos came out recently that contains a new fluff version of the Necrons that apparently is based on the new codex. Instead of the usual soulless abominations who just walk forward in silence and shoot you, the Necron PoVs showed off a complex royal hierarchy featuring the Cryptek Ankh's political machinations and various competing and jostling Lords who all have their own ambitions and problems. Most notable is the Necron "afflictions", where Necrons who long for their flesh will go crazy and become Flayed Ones, hunting for new skins. Meanwhile Necrons who go a bit too far towards the machine-end end up mutilating themselves into Destroyers. It's all very wacky, and the Necrons are actually pretty talkative too, where the Lord Tahek Voidbringer has some momentary banter with Tigurius during their battle. There's also Sahtah the Enfleshed, a "Flayer Lord" who happily gallops across the icy world of Damnos in his quest for a new face, and the Undying, a very old Lord who constantly forgets where he is in time. You also get weird shit where Necron Warriors let out metallic cries when they phase out, An abandoned and empty throneroom complete with ornate mirrors and empty throne underground, and the fact that Necrons can open their mouths, shrug, and laugh.
On the one hand, the new fluff from Damnos feels very "Tomb Kings in Space", however on the other it does do a decent job of fleshing out the until-this-point C'Tan lackeys a bit, and Tomb Kings fluff is awesome so ripping it off might be a good thing. Of course, that's related to the most major thing in Damnos and the new codex rumours: The C'Tan are gone. No mention whatsoever, both in the new novel, and in the 5th Ed rulebook, which goes so far as to cut off a picture in the Necron section that would have the Nightbringer in it so that he doesn't appear. According to the new Codex rumours, the Necrons themselves did away with the C'Tan and now do their own thing. Whether the rumours that gel with the Damnos and 5th ed books resolve themselves in the final product remains to be seen.
A Disturbing Implication
Oh yes, it could very well be worse alright...
Many years before Matt was the horrifying figure known and loathed the way he is today, he was apparently a Necron player. An old White Dwarf battle report detailed him going up against Ultramarines with his Necrons and getting his ass handed to him. It's easy to see this is where his descent into the blue, white and gold abyss began. However, the truth is likely a far darker one that goes simply beyond the lines of "Hey, what Marines were you using in that game? They were pretty cool..."
His last Space Marine codex had the Blood Angels befriending and fighting alongside Necrons with little to no reason whatsoever. He scarcely ever mentions anything about them otherwise.
Suddenly a little dark voice begins to whisper sinister nothings in your head. Whispers of revelations about absurdities that are uncomfortably plausible given this manchild. Ward spends the last couple years making Space Marines the army faction to go to- the perfect badasses everyone loves. With each codex he makes them more and more ludicrous, more and more powerful till they are all the people know and care for. He lets them sit atop GW's throne of money, basking in their glory.
Then without warning, he pulls the tarp off his final project- the codex Necrons. Insanely and skubtastically blown out of proportion with pants-on-head retarded powers none can match, the Necrons shove the smurfs off their spotlight. Marine players sell out their entire armies just to afford the ridiculous prices on Ward's new bastard creation, pushing the Marines into a dark corner of neglect where ironically the Necrons once hunched imprisoned for nearly a decade.
The other writers will all unite to attempt to thwart Ward's scheme, but it will be far too late. At this point, a statue of a Necron Warrior will stand at the front of the GW HQ on the same pedestal a Space Marine once stood proudly. Ward will be jerking off to Lolicron in his fortress of solitude, now located in the middle of the Dead Sea, laughing like a little child who just cheated his way to victory in a game of Candy Land.
http://1d4chan.org/index.php?title=Necron&action=edit TL;DR: Matt Ward is the fucking Deceiver, and all shall weep as his retardation turns out to be a loathing, evil tactical genius that goes off the charts. Even the Necron players themselves, who realize they've been used after they become the peak of GW standards at the price of ever being remotely likable ever again.
Just. As. Planned.
I, for one, welcome our new Necron overlords.
TO BOLDLY GO WHERE NO TOMB KING HAS EVER GONE BEFORE
On October 14th, Beasts of War provided leaked images of the new Necron miniatures. The Necrons have undergone a transformation: they have gone from the transgenic crop of Terminator meets Cube2:Hypercube, and become more "TOMB KINGS. IN SPESS!" than they ever were before.
And so it begins: we got skub with a chance of shitstorms in today's forecast and I'll leave this right here for others to give you the details. Bring your umbrella.
They've also been ripping off the Cylons from Battlestar Galactica with their new ships. 'Cus we all know that GW can't think up anything themselves nowadays ever.
And the Pariahs are gone from the list have been renamed Lych Guard (what a shock; another elite unit is given the suffix 'guard') and buffed to the Nth Degree. If you had any doubt of who's writing this codex before now, then this should settle it once and for all.
In summation: GW is killing all we knew about the Necrons and replacing it with C.S. Goto's rendition of Egyptian Alien Space Robots (who built the pyramids, you know).
The New Fluff
There is a dramatic change in the fluff in this codex from the previous incarnation of the Necrons. The Necrontyr's empire was massive at one point, but the different Lords in the empire started to turn against each other in civil war. To prevent this from happening the overall ruler of the Necrons (the Silent King) started the war against the Old Ones specifically to give them a common enemy to fight against to prevent his empire from destroying itself. Of course, the Old Ones ended up kicking their butts and in desperation, the Silent King found the C'Tan and agreed to the Deceiver's pact without realizing what he was doing. However, after the Necrons helped the C'Tan to kill off the last Old Ones, the Silent King then ordered the Necrons to turn on the C'Tan in vengeance and utterly destroyed the C'Tan into tiny shards. This war agains the C'Tan weakened the Necrons overall so much they decided to go into stasis to avoid the vengeance of the Eldar (the C'Tan had killed the Old Ones, but not all their children).
Now that the Necrons have reawakened in the 41st millennium, their goal is no longer to 'harvest' souls for the C'Tan (the C'Tan shards are now their slaves) as it was in the old book, but rather to reestablish the great Necron empire that spanned the galaxy before the war with the Old Ones began. However, the overall hierarchy of the Necron people is gone for the most part, leaving each individual Empire to once again rule for itself. This means each Tomb World (or cluster of Necron worlds) is essentially a separate little empire to itself, with a full backstory and idiosyncrasies. While Necron warriors are pretty much just automatons and Immortals not too much better, every other higher Necron being is now much more like an actual person, as their essence is simply trapped inside a metal body.
So there is lots of crazy nuance to Necron culture that was never present before. The codex now has plenty of 'quote' boxes featuring memorable quotes from Necron Lords like other races have in their books. There are some Necron Lords who honor valor in battle, there are a few Necron Lords who trade with other races, and although an uneasy alliance apparently, yes Necrons and Blood Angels did end up fighting against a Tyranid Hive Fleet together. Oh, and there is definitely plenty of reason to have Necron vs. Necron action now (as the old feuds between competing Necron Lords flare back up again).
All in all, it is a major tonal shift. While part of me recoils from it, the other part of me thinks that Necrons as they were had no distinct 'character' that each player could choose to get behind. Yes, the race as a whole had 'character' in how it was organized and functioned, but there was never any really good reason that a player should have his Necron force painted and modeled 'X' way as opposed to another player with his Necron army looking 'Y' way. People certainly painted their Necrons in different (neat) ways, but there was never really any good fluff giving players inspiration to do so. Although the fact that Necrons want fleshy bodies for "bio-transfer" is pretty effing stupid considering that they're basically awesome zombie robots, but whatevs.
The only real 'personality' in the old book was the Deceiver, and that frankly wasn't the Necrons, it was their god. The mindless mission that all Necrons were on was basically really similar to Tyranids...the Necrons were coming to harvest every living thing in the galaxy (yawn). While the goal of the Necrons was similar to that of the Tyranids, they both went about it in very different ways. The Necrons were an ancient race surrounded by eery silence, made of cold metal, enslaved by demigods to harvest life in the galaxy to sustain these powerful beings. The Tyranids are a biological menace from beyond the galaxy, driven by an insatiable hunger to consume and destroy .Differences aside Oldcrons had the personality of a plastic bottle, Newcrons finally got some shit going for them.
This new incarnation, love it or hate it, gives the Necrons a whole wide array of personality and every single empire has different goals and motives (not to mention paint schemes, markings, etc). This new incarnation succeeds in destroying everything that had already been established in the Necron fluff, turning the silent killing machines into a bunch of robots playing Egyptian in space. Some Necron Lords are obsessed with finding the perfect flesh bodies to transfer their sentience back into. One Necron Tomb World was damaged during the great sleep and erased all the Necron sentience and has started basically commanding its Necrons like true robots (and is actively attacking other Necron worlds to take them over and keep growing), and there are of course dozens more little stories. The Silent King, who put himself into exile (for his unforgivable crime against his people) by leaving the galaxy after defeating the C'Tan encountered the Tyranids in the void between galaxies and has returned to spur the Necrons into action against the Tyranids (realizing that if the Tyranids wipe the galaxy clean of biological matter, then the Necrons will never find a form to transfer their minds back into).
Oh, and the biggest rival of the Necrons is now actually the Alaitoc Craftworld. Apparently they are the only Eldar who stayed true on the original path to seek out and destroy Necron Tomb Worlds while the rest of the Eldar got all caught up and destroyed in their decadence and then the Fall. Alaitoc rangers have traveled the galaxy far and wide over the millennia (ever since the Necrons went to sleep) to track down and destroy or hamper Tomb Worlds from reawakening.
So with this new direction there is now tons of different possibilities for players to make Necrons forces different from each other and there are neat new takes on 'nemesis' races like Eldar & Tyranids to drive gaming plots as well as good reason for Necron on Necron battles.
And as for totally destroying the background of the C'Tan, the codex does allude to the fact that there are lots of unaccounted for C'Tan shards still allegedly cast around the galaxy. The Necron are always trying to hunt them down and imprison them (in pocket dimension prisons), but this does still leave the door totally wide open for a shard of 'The Dragon' to be on Mars and for shards of 'The Deceiver' to have done all the crazy things that's been written about him in novels. Essentially, the full power C'Tan were massively, massively powerful, and the 'shard' versions of them are closer to the idea of what we had in the last codex anyway (something that can be killed/banished on a battlefield). And of course, as everyone knows, the Outsider is still on his extra-galactic camping trip, totally whole and crying over WHAAAAAT, HEEES, DOOONNE!!!
See Also
- Assholetep
- lolcron
- False Immortality
- Heavy-chan
- Lolicron
- Lovecron
- Papalith
- Shanako
Story of Necron Pariah Kyl SonderOur Spiritual Liege has spoken. What are Pariahs?- Tactics/Necrons
Gallery
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Suddenly, Monoliths just got even more awesome.
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Angry Marines can really fuck your shit up.
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Necron players are well-known for their carefully planned tactics of "move-shoot-move-shoot".
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Thanks to Matt Ward this is now canon. Give thanks to our spiritual liege for Thaszar the Invincible!
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IN THE GRIM DARKNESS OF THE 41ST MILLENNIUM, THE ARGUMENT STILL RAGES
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Here we see the humble Lolcron, irritably drawing away.
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Lolcron and lolicron - know the difference!
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The funk of 40,000 years.
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Lolcron is a lazy bum these days.
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Necron update 2011 in a nutshell.
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The Necron's ace in the hole.
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Damn space commies.
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Goddamnit.
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This is what we call a xeno double-down.
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Monoliths are known to inspire great songs.
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Flayed Ones are adept at finding ways to maintain a nice figure.
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Phaeron Imotekh in all his egotistic glory.