STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM
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This is a /v/ related article, which we tolerate because it's relevant and/or popular on /tg/... or we just can't be bothered to delete it. |
"STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!" and it's follow-up; "YOU VIOLATED THE LAW! PAY THE COURT A FINE OR SERVE YOUR SENTENCE! YOUR STOLEN GOODS ARE NOW FORFEIT!" is a line used by the NPC guards in TES IV: Oblivion. Oblivion's NPC guards are in perpetual telepathic communication with each other, and every guard in the land is immediately aware and on alert for the player if even a single guard spots him doing something illegal. On top of this, they will often go to bizarre lengths to track down the criminal player, spontaneously appearing in odd places such as locked basements in order to dispense justice.
Attempting to fight anyone of them is futile, as a veritable horde of guardsmen will emerge seemingly out of thin air to kill you. Given Oblivion's shit level scaling mechanic, you'll be likely be raped harder than a squad of Imperial Guardsmen going up against a Khornate Chaos Lord. Truly, Cyrodil must have been the most lawful of all realms. Truly, Uriel Septim IV was a good Emperor.
The phrase itself is used to indicate a strong focus on law, and may be used in any discussion of a lawful society or organisation.
This line was sadly not kept in for the sequel; Skyrim. Instead, we have faggot Norwegian guards whining about how they've taken arrows in the knees.
Back in Morrowind, we had Ordinators instead of guards, who growled "We're watching you, scum" in their awesome accents. Before that, in Daggerfall, there was an endless chorus of HALT!, repeated by the guards as a mantra whenever you did a crime. So the first game has no guard-related memes.
External Links
- STOP RIGHT THERE, YOUTUBE SCUM
- PAY THE COURT A FINE OR SERVE YOUR SENTENCE!
- STOP RIGHT THERE PONY SCUM
Gallery
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What one guard knows, ALL GUARDS KNOW.
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STOP RIGHT THERE- OH GOD!
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Good luck trying to nick the change from this one.
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