Slaanesh

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ALSO: DAEMONETTES ARE NOT ATTRACTIVE. DIDN'T EXPECT THAT, DID YOU?!

And I'll always love you, just the way you are!

PORN FOR THE PORN GOD! SMUT FOR THE SMUT THRONE! RAPE FOR THE RAPE TRAIN!

Chaos God/dess of perversion, rape and excess. Fa/tg/uys cannot resist the disgusting heresy of masturbating furiously to Slaanesh and his/her daemonettes.

Slaanesh was born at the fall of the Eldar, when all their torturing and raeping of everyone and everything eventually tore the fabric of reality and gave birth to Slaanesh along with the Eye of Terror, this also killed the majority of their race. Slaanesh owns every last Eldar soul in the galaxy and in the event an Eldar should die without a spirit stone, he/she becomes Slaanesh's sex toy for all of eternity day and night forever and ever. That is why Eldar are willing to manipulating entire worlds into exterminating each other just to save one of their own (The Dark Eldar takes this up to eleven by sacrificing other souls to Slaanesh so that they don't get eaten). Khorne hates Slaanesh because he's a prissy faggot but Slaanesh only gives a thought about hating Khorne or any of the other Chaos Gods after s/he's done playing with herself which is about 1 nanosecond every millennium, so about 13 nanoseconds total so far. Rumors that their relationship is beyond hate and occasional angry sex are just that; Khorne is not telling.

Amongst other things, Slaanesh is the god of sex, drugs & rock n' roll. He/she is fuelled by excess and pleasure, which means gratuitous amounts of anything generally fall under its influence. This actually becomes a big problem for Khorne and the other Chaos Gods, whose worshippers have to constantly try not to enjoy themselves too much lest they end up feeding the Warp's whipping bitch.

Many horny juveniles who have just found Warhammer seem to be obsessed with Slaanesh being a God(dess) of sexual pleasure. While fluff claims this is not true, in practical terms the only Slaaneshi cultists anyone has ever seen are ones who go in for either ridiculous perversions or self-mutilation because of ridiculous perversions. One would think if, as claimed, Slaanesh were the lord of all pleasure there would be more Slaanesh cultists scouring the universe for rare pre-Heresy "Emperor and Horus BFFs" commemorative stamps to complete their collections, or searching Imperial worlds to find just the right gear for their Battle of Armageddon re-enactment.

Note: Liber Chaotica tells us that Slaanesh is the lord of all pleasure, but to her cultists pleasure becomes akin to a drug (maybe it's the nature of humans, maybe it's because Slaanesh actually sucks pleasure away) — if you try something once, you won't enjoy it as much later, so you need to indulge in something else or increase the "dose" — which means doing more and more debased and amoral things. So the pleasure of finding DAT STAMP from above paragraph will be nullified by the fact that you have already collected a ton of stamps, and doing it yet again just isn't enjoyable anymore.

SLAANESH AND HIS/HER/ITS WORSHIPPERS WILL BE YIFFED IN HELL!!!! Awright, which one of you guys let the Commissar in here? My bad. To be fair, even if they would, they'd just enjoy this because of how sick fuck they are.

It is a well known fact that Sigmund Freud was a Slaaneshi cultist (with all the "pleasure principle" and the "everything is about penis and having sex with your mom" psychobabble), and the Emperors Nero and Caligula were worshipers Avatars of Slaanesh, when Slaanesh decided he/she/it wanted to troll Rome. Apparently the Fuck-That-Thing-Called-Physics nature of the Warp let Slaanesh do that, since the Eldar hadn't orgied Slaanesh into existence for about 30,000 years yet. When Rome started converting to Christianity, Slaanesh got bored, decided that they weren't as fun anymore, and left them to their own devices.

Slaanesh is the weakest and youngest out of the four Chaos Gods by a fairly good margin; even on his/her/its best day he/she/it can't fight Khorne at his worst. Though to be honest, none of the other Chaos Gods can except for Tzeentch; however, they can all theoretically put up better fights than Slaanesh.

Followers

Slaanesh attracts mortal followers from those seeking to become charismatic and popular, but instead corrupts them to become colossal perverts; alternatively, he/she/it may attract followers from those who are already colossal perverts, and corrupt them to become more charismatic and popular. Just as planned.

Slaanesh units are:

• Daemonettes, hideous crab-clawed hermaphrodites or seductive scythe-clawed elf-girls depending on which fluff you choose to believe, fa/tg/uys love daemonettes and spend much time eagerly awaiting the drawfags to provide them with moar heresy. Some fluff seems to suggest that they're hot elf girls until they decide it's time to rip your face off, at which point they become something more akin to the BDSM glam-rock lobster women seen in the current models.
• Fiends of Slaanesh, looking like a bizarre cross between an aardvark and a scorpion, these units are best used for hit and run attacks against armour.
• Seekers of Slaanesh, daemonettes mounted upon Steeds of Slaanesh; fast and lots of attacks for not much points, prone to dying in a hail of bolter fire.
• Chaos Marines, the traitor marines of the third legion worship Slaanesh exclusively, as do warbands such as the Angels of Ecstasy and the Flawless Host.

Facts

Alright, who's next?

• Slaanesh knows that you can't spell happiness without penis.
• Slaanesh is bitching over the fact how his/her/its only representation in the DoW series was the Emperor's Children paint scheme. And they aren't even Slaaneshi like, they're just a generic chaos army. Although, he did grant favor to Eliphas for smashing a ton of soulstones, which contain Eldar souls for raping.
• If it exists Slaanesh faps to it.
• Tzeentch likes to trick Slaanesh into fighting Khorne, Slaanesh always loses these fights and loses them hard. Tzeentch then gets a dose of lulz out of it. Slaanesh gets to take it hard. And this pleases him/her/it.
• Slaanesh, while perverse, is a horrifying force of infinite suffering and violation. Fap at your own peril.
• Slaaesh's followers enjoy grinding the bones of their enemies and mixing them into drugs.

Gallery

This article contains PROMOTIONS! Don't say we didn't warn you.

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  Slaanesh followers DO COCAINE!!!!!!!!
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  That's a real commissar, just look at the hat.
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  DDaemonette
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  It's not furry, you can totally fap to it.
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  Why it's good to be Slaanesh follower.
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  Slaanesh can be festive as well.
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  It is possible that some pokémon are susceptible to Chaotic influence.
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  Oh god. ;_;
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  There is no excuse or explanation for this.
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  This image can be used to improve a bad thread.
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  Simply Irresistible
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  Mr Culexus' interpretation. Notice the bulge in the crotch.
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  Love can bloom in the galaxy of Transylvania
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  What a Slaaneshi raptor would look like by non-GW canon.
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  Who else did you think furries worshipped?
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  LAWL
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  Slaanesh Chaos Marines come with a little "extra"...
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  ... which may not be so "little".
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  She "rides" it... if you know what I mean... no seriously, zoom in if you don't believe me.
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  The more common and usual fate of female Eldar.
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  Now 262.71% more real!
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  You might be mixing up love and lust.
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  Gimme some sugar
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  I'll love you always as you are
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  Lashes of Torment!
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  She Who Thirsts indeed
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  Khorne is sooo tsundere...

Give yourself over to absolute pleasure
Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh
Erotic nightmares beyond any measure
And sensual daydreams to treasure forever
Can't you just see it. Whoa ho ho!
Don't dream it, be it...
Don't dream it, be it...

The Chaos Gods of Warhammer 40,000 and Warhammer Fantasy
Four Main Chaos Gods:	Khorne - Nurgle - Slaanesh - Tzeentch
Other Gods of Chaos:	Archaon - Hashut - Horned Rat - Nuffle Malal - Morghur - Necoho - Zuvassin
Chaos Gods of Law:	Alluminas - Arianka - Solkan the Avenger

See Also

• The Emperor's Children legion - The largest contingent of sick fucks on this side of the warp. And on that side of the warp.
• Fulgrim - Primarch of the largest contingent of sick fucks on this side (and that side) of the warp.
• Fabulous Bile - What you get by combining a self-obsessed homosexual and Dr.Frankenstein, only this one isn't played by Tim Curry.
• Doomrider - He does COCAINE!
• Daemonette - Daemons of Slaanesh. Viewing said content is heretical, in 20 seconds or less after clicking the link, expect the inquisitorial storm troopers to barge-in and blam you to hell.
• Loli D - The loli variant of the Slaaneshi Daemonette. Viewing said content is extra heretical. E-Commissars can blam you from your monitor with the utmost prejudice.