| Check
|
What happens
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| Alchemy
|
It exploded in your face. Take ½ subdued damage.
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| Animal Empathy
|
The animal attacks you.
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| Appraise
|
It is worth something. Probably. Maybe.
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| Balance
|
You trip over your own feet.
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| Barter
|
SEIZE THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION COMRADE
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| Bluff
|
You tell them the truth.
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| Climb
|
You break the thing you're climbing on and tumble down.
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| Composure
|
You rapidly confess all your darkest secrets.
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| Concentration
|
Ooh! Shiny!
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| Craft/ Use Magic Device
|
It breaks as soon as you touch it.
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| Decipher Script
|
The exact translation is “qwertyuiop, asdfghjkl”.
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| Diplomacy
|
"Tell me your name, horse-f*cker, and I'll tell ye mine."
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| Disable Device
|
You place your finger in a mouse trap.
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| Disguise
|
You place a big red arrow pointing at you over your head.
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| Escape Artist
|
You become more entangled, escape DC increases by 1d6.
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| Forgery
|
It looks like a child using crayons made it.
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| Gather Information
|
"Water is wet."
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| Handle Animal
|
It bites/kicks you.
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| Heal
|
You poke your finger in the wound and deal 1d4 damage.
|
| Hide
|
You hold up a stick in front of your face.
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| Intimidate
|
“You’re a fat big poopy head!”
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| Intuit Direction
|
You place your hands over your eyes and spin around.
|
| Jump
|
You fall flat on your face. Do not make a Tumble check.
|
| Knowledge
|
It may or may not exist.
|
| Listen
|
You hear crickets.
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| Move Silently
|
Thor the god of thunder is trying to enter my building!
|
| Open Lock
|
You break your tool in the keyhole, jamming it.
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| Perform
|
You are run out of town by an angry mob.
|
| Pick Pocket
|
You punch them in the face.
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| Profession
|
You get fired on the spot without severance.
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| Read Lips
|
Like lip reading a sock puppet.
|
| Ride
|
You are trampled by your own horse.
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| Scry
|
You lose a staring contest with a stone wall.
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| Search
|
You find your other hand.
|
| Sense Motive
|
"They do not have a motive."
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| Spellcraft
|
It's magic! No, really!
|
| Spot
|
You spot your nose.
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| Survival
|
You jump into an alligator pit.
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| Swim
|
You sink like a stone.
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| Tumble
|
You fall on your head. Take falling damage +10 ft.
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| Wilderness Lore
|
You identify the dirt as being dirt.
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| Initiative
|
You aren’t aware you're in combat until you get hit.
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| Melee attacking
|
Your weapon flies off in a random direction, roll on a table.
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| Ranged attack
|
You shoot yourself in the face. With a rock.
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| Fortitude save
|
You somehow contract a random STD, roll a d6 on the table.
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| Reflex save
|
You zigged when you should have zagged.
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| Will save
|
Spell becomes Dominate Person.
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| Bear lore
|
It's a man in a bear suit look it's Nicolas Cage!
|